I woke up numb this morning

feeling more than i could explain somehow to you

wanting to wake up years ago

when i could see your eyes after we were done

when i would know you didn’t screw me

when i would know what we made in the sweaty sheets was love

do we speak the same language anymore?

i wanted to call you, i wanted to ask you to explain

i wanted answers to the long silences when you were

holding me in the hotel room

i want to know why you could only say ‘love‘

behind my back

i want to know why you could remember how to do what you did

how to let go, how to hold, how to just be

and forget so easily why we did this in the first place

I want to clean this up

shame shades so much, so dirtywrongdoing seems right..

why does it have to be wrong?

i should ask why it has to be you..but then for me, who else has there

really been?

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