nobody told me

i would have more than one lover

nobody told me "faking it"

is not just a bedroom habit

nobody warned me

sex is two parts skin and one part soul.... salt to taste

no one wrote me directions

How to Find What I think I’m Looking for

and How to Let go of the Bullshit I carried so long

i don’t know how i missed this stuff

cannot remember where i should have learned to not

be so surprised at what comes and who does not

there are some things you cannot teach yourself to be

and some emotions i have never understood how

to live without... or how to have

nobody told me to be normal

not in words

not in how they already saw me

different, cold

aloof, thinking too much, feeling all wrong

maybe i will write the book

maybe i will know too much by then

and get old on the ways i know to reach home

without ever going there myself