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Do you want to know what a young girl dreams?
Perhaps she dreamed of you when she had the chance when her thoughts fell past the days of school ending and friends staying when there were not horses and dogs and summers and free things Do you want to know what a young woman thinks? As she lies awake in her sheet Are her dreams so archaic that she wants only you, this man who has never quite existed that she hears someone say ‘you’ll stop all that talk when you find the right man’ (or even the wrong one?) and for a moment, believes it when she hears a friend say that all her realistic goals - finding a husband, making a home - have already been achieved and she has nothing else to reach for and realizes these dreams are her own and she thinks how much she would fear waking up one day and saying those same things she wonders if she really needs a man to be happy if she needs to change her priorities or just her perspective if she can stand all this time that seems to run out constantly her feet in this sand are always dry the tide has not come yet even though she has, time over and over she thinks how short pleasure can be and how long she’s felt estranged from friends who have found- loved- rediscovered- moved- changed- become wives and mothers she feels so full of herself, this unknown thing sometimes that she is sure were she to become the center of someone else’s world that she would surely fill it to the farthest edge she does not know how she will get up in the morning she does not know why she cannot sleep when the air is flowing, the sheet is cool, her passion sated, her thoughts loose and unraveling fast toward sleep at the center she thinks and wants to hold she cries and wants to relieve she aches and feels old beyond her times she waits and hopes it won’t be tonight that she gives up. |
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