On July 1, 1996, we moved from Murfreesboro, TN, to Gallatin, TN. At first, Ben was eager for a new start. He felt more outgoing, and intended to meet a lot of girls. Within a month of starting his new scool, he was elected Vice President of the Marketing Club, and was nominated for Vice President of his Junior Class. He was named to the Who's Who of American High School students, having been recommended by two teachers his previous year.

But he had an extensive love affair going on the internet with two girls. He said it was tearing him apart trying to choose between them. It was a difficult time, a disruptive time. Roy's new company had decided to close the plant he was at. We talked about all the places we might end up moving to.

On December 1, we moved to Greeneville, TN, 250 miles away. Five days later, Ben turned 16. The day after he got his driver's license, he took our car and headed to California to see one of the girls he had met on the internet. He got stopped in Tucumcari, New Mexico, for stealing gas. Roy took a Greyhound bus out there and brought him back.

We began to settle in to life in the mountains. Ben hated school, but was excelling in his classes. His math teacher called him the smartest person he had ever met. His dislike for school, however, finally resulted in Roy getting him transferred to home school. Ben's sister, Khendra, was also home schooled, and the two of them were the very best of friends. Mom and Ben started golfing together and making big plans for Ben's future. They also began a great home school Bible study.

On July 7, 1997, we made a home video, and everyone was so happy. Ben told Roy he was his best friend. On July 12, 1997, we all hugged each other tightly, as usual, and said how much we loved each other. Two days later, Ben took the car again. We had no idea where he was going. He and Tami had just finished planning a nation wide trip for when he was 18. He had spoken frequently of how much he would love to see New York.

On July 16, 1997, we got a call from our local Sheriff telling us to call Riverside, California General Hospital. They told us Ben had shot himself in the head. He was alive but they said there was no hope.