Funny Real-Life Bumper Stickers
Isn't it interesting what people will put on their bumber stickers? Enjoy...
- If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
- Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an jerk
- You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
- You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
- All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Hang up and drive.
- Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
- Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
- Happiness is seeing your boss's face on a milk carton.
- Jesus is coming, everyone look busy
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
- Horn broken, watch for finger
- All Men are idiots & I married their king
- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished
- Help wanted telepath: You know where to apply
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
- Guns don't kill people, postal workers do
- It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you
- If we are aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math
- Eve was Framed
- I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
- Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
- Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
- Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
- Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
- Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
- Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- I swerve and hit people at random.
- If you don't like my driving, then stay off of the sidewalk!!
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
- She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the December Flower.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains to be so popular?
- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
- If they outlaw guns, can we use swords instead?
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let him sleep.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather -- not screaming and yelling like the other people in his car.
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- Forget about world peace, visualize using your turn signal!
- He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
- I support publik edekasion.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- There are 3 kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.
- Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
- I like you, but I wouldn't want you working with subatomic particles.
- If you lived here, you'd be home by now.
- Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them!
- Few women admit their age, few men act it.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all its students.
- According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- "Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes."
- "Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assmilated.
- Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
- Warning: dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
- We have enough youth, how about a fountain of "smart"?
Email: fluteangel@hotmail.com