Good Boyfriends: Minimum Requirements
Good Boyfriends: Minimum Requirements
In order to be a good boyfriend:
- A boyfriend's biceps must be bigger than his ear lobes.
- You boyfriend must be willing to hand over the control of the TV remote,
without sweating, swearing, squirming or extreme distortions of his face.
- Your boyfriend must be able to remember both your first and last name
within 10 minutes of watching Baywatch.
- A boyfriend's vocabulary must include at least 20% intelligible words
mixed in with the typical blend of grunts, snorts and belches.
- Your boyfriend should be able to defend you against at least 2 thugs.
If you're willing to help, then it should go up to 6.
- The sound level of a boyfriend eating a cheeseburger must remain under
90 decibles...unless he does it in under 6 seconds.
- Your boyfriend must be able reserve at least 15 minutes a day for
conversation that does NOT include sports, cars, super models, or science
fiction movies.
- Boyfriends must know the difference between right and wrong...you're
right and they're wrong!
- Your boyfriend's idea of a date must on occasion include the possibility
of him spending money.
- Your boyfriend must be able to dance at least on dance OTHER than the
hokey-pokey.
- Boyfriend hair guidelines: 1) his hair should never look like a nest for
rodents, 2) his hair should never look better than yours, 3) his hair should
never be longer than yours.
- A boyfriend's idea of a sensative and emotionally satisfying movie should
not include any films with Clint, Arnold, or Bruce in it.
- Ideally, boyfriends should be able to dress themselves with syle and
flair...or at least just be able to dress themselves.
- You must not be able to smell your boyfriend's breath beyond a radius
of 4 feet.
Email: fluteangel@hotmail.com