I need to send out a pre-emptive warning though...
There may be some offensive language and stuff on these next few pages...sorry about that...
But if you can handle it, read on!!
So sit back, get comfortable, and get ready to read...cuz this is gonna take a while...
...or just look at the pics, I don't care!!
A little Intro
While in class at university back in January (‘05) one day, a buddy of mine, Todd, mentioned he was heading down to Mexico over spring break in March, and I thought,"Wow, that’d be cool but…" I had been wanting to go on a trip like that since high school, and had even made tentative plans a couple times to go with different sets of people, but it always fell through.
More and more people I knew had been going (or were about to go) on trips like these, but my personal situation over the past few years had dictated that it would be 'slim to none' for any chance I’d ever get to go on one of them myself. I’ve been around…all over Canada, down to the States, and even over to England before…but never way down south on a sunny beach like this.
The more I bugged Todd about it, and the more I watched ‘Wild On’, the more I sulked about not ever getting a chance to go. So one day, I can’t remember exactly when, after really pestering Todd about his trip, I got it stuck in my head that,
"for @#$%’s sake, it was my turn too"
and since I was now in a position (personal life) where I might just be able to pull it off, I dove at the chance full-on.
Todd referred me to his brother Ian, who then gave me info on where they had looked into to get their trip started. So I called the lady they had talked to, and asked all about it...was there was any room still left on the plane? or down at the resort? the prices, and all that. She gave me some details, and said she’d look into it for me.
I approached Todd saying that I might be going down too, and he basically said "the more the merrier". Good ol' Todders...I actually felt bad about it at first, not wanting it to look like I was just inviting myself into their trip (I hadn’t even met some of the guys going with them, but I did know some of the crew), but I wanted to go, and if it turned out I knew where they were going, then at least I wouldn’t have to hang by myself the whole time. I even asked some of my buddies (sort of knowing their answers already, but I wanted to try) if there was any way they could come, but school / work / money was obviously a problem with such short notice.
I repeatedly asked both Ian and Todd if it’d be cool, and they said "no problem", and even told me to see if I could get onto the all-inclusive package with them too (the only way to do it, in my opinion)…so I must say a big thank you!! to the entire group for letting me get in with them….
I had decided I was gonna go anyway, but it would work so much better if I could roll with them, instead of on my own...believe me, after all this talk and time spent thinking about it, I was going either way now. I spent a few frantic days waiting to hear back from the lady at Sun Stop Travels (cheap plug), but it all fell into place, and I / we spent the next few months counting the days.
Saturday – March 26/05
Less Go!!
After sorting out issues over arrangements for my daughter, Abi, here in Brandon, I left for Winnipeg around noon. We all met (including Ian and Todd’s parents) for lunch at Perkins. Here’s our crew...myself, Ian and Todd Robinson, Ian’s girlfriend Andrea Nikel, Jay Goran and his girlfriend, Sara Peto, Marty Simmons, and Wes Hildebrand.
(L to R: Todd, me, Ian, Andrea, Jay, Marty, Sara, and Wes)
Here’s a better pic, except I’m looking all gay in it…oh well…
So, tell me, what happens when you’re with a group of coolio guys like Ian and Todd and I, and we’re bored and need to kill some time? That’s right, let the games begin...
Now, Wes, the trusting guy that he is, wandered off to use the facilities at some point, and left us to guard his gear...First mistake...
Todd decided to teach him a lesson, and hid his passport and junk. He grabbed Wes' paperwork and passed it off to me, as nobody would suspect the new guy right? Bear in mind I barely know Wes, I legitimately just really met the guy, and he outweighs me by probably a 100 pounds, so I was a little leery to let the charade continue on too long, as he was panicking for a solid 10 minutes right as we were getting ready to leave. So I bailed on the rib, and let him in on the joke. He shrugged it off cuz he knew who the real mastermind behind the ploy was, but I’ll tell you, he didn’t leave his crap unattended again…
We finally got on the plane around 6:30 or so, and in the air by 7. It was pretty much an easy flight (I read most of the way), but we were packed like sardines in there. We hit land again around close to 11pm...direct flight. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico baby!!
Customs was no big deal. Wes and I joked we were “together”, cuz maybe that’d get us through quicker (the families on the plane got rushed through security). Again...'hurry up to wait'. They marched us to a chartered bus and we sat there for half an hour. After a cozy little speech by a guide, we were off down the strip to our resort (Canto del Sol) by close to midnight.
Here’s the front entrance, the next morning…
And some of the lobby area...which we would soon call our nightly ‘home’…
Anyway, someone asks “Are those double beds...?”
No way. Not even close, especially with Wes in the room (sorry buddy, just kidding).
Our tidy little room…all clean…
(can you see Wes on the bed, in the dark there...?)
And then after about 10 mins…
So instead we go check out everybody else’s rooms. The couples’ rooms were huge!! King-sized beds…damn!!…
Ian and Andrea’s room…Sara and Jay’s was the same…
(check out Ian's face...?)
The pool was amazingly nice and large, there was a swim-up bar, huge palm trees, a calm breeze, and you could hear the ocean from anywhere. It was a few steps down to the beach and the cabana shade-huts, and the soft sand and nice-sized waves were there to greet you. Solid.
I headed back to find the others and drag them back out to walk the route I had just witnessed. We’re gonna have a great time here for sure...
But now we’re all starving, so we order Dominoes of all things. It came, we ate, and shot-the-shit in Andrea/Ian’s room, and Wes finally got his gift pack (inside story…too long to tell, just use the picture below as a reference)
Nice Wes…now you’re set…
On the way back to our room, (me, Wes, Marty and Todd…4 sexy guys in a room not built with spacious comfort in mind) a solution for our bed-sharing problem presented itself. Tucked under a stairway were some extra beds folded up and leaning against the wall. I jokingly said, “grab em” and walked past…only to turn around to see Marty and Wes hauling the mattresses down the hall with them…excellent!! At least one night of rest hey? Cuz I was sure we’d get busted the next day by the cleaning crew. Nope, we had those mattresses all friggin' week long!! We all took turns rotating on the floor or main beds, and for the most part all slept well because of it. In fact, being on the ground was probably better (less humid…that air conditioner unit fired on all cylinders non-stop all week long). However, due to lack of floor space in the room, even with one mattress against the end wall, out of the way, the other one only fit right in front of the bathroom door/sink area.
Yea...take my picture...please...
I ain't gonna be the meat in nobody's best-buddy sandwich!!!
And so we slept…
Rise and shine at 8am (thanks Todd), and let’s go eat. We all met at 8:30 for breakfast at the buffet restaurant to try out our first Mexican food. There was a little bit of everything normal you’d expect at a breakfast buffet, plus some funky juices too (I had never had watermelon juice before, or papaya juice, and it wasn’t that great, but I at least gave it a shot).
There was a debriefing meeting put on by the Signature Travels rep (Sandra Dee) at around 10, so we walked around to kill time. I tell ya, by 9am the pool area is packed. There was what you could call a ‘family section’ on one side of the area, and a long line of beach chairs down the other. There was a pretty standard mix of bodies too. Lots to look at, if you catch my meaning.
That’s the buffet restaurant in the background there – the big hut
Some of the main swimming pool – the family section
More of the same, except with the pool bar (hut) in the background
Some of the deck area...
with both the pool bar (right) and snack bar (left) and the ocean in the background
The pool, before everyone was in it, early one AM,
taken from the buffet restaurant (sorry so fuzzy)
Then looking left, with some rooms in the background too
The non-pool side of the swim-up pool bar
More of the deck area
View looking right, from the steps leading down to the beach and the ocean.
Those ladies in white would do your braids for a few bucks under those cabana huts in the shade.
And looking left…see those guys with their merch? Rings and necklaces and stuff
Volleyball court right on our beach
Our beach…para-sailers in the background too
Another shot of the beach…fuzzy though…
Back to the pool area again
Looking back at the resort.
The main activity stage is to the left (tarped off)
plus a few nice sites for the male eyes in the foreground...
And finally, from the beach…our resort…Canto del Sol
So we got changed for the beach (as we learned the very first day that unless you woke your ass up at 5 in the am, you weren’t getting a spot around the pool), but the beach was fine enough for us though. Bathing suits, suntan lotion, our towel cards (at check-in we each got a credit-card sized marker you traded in at, amazingly enough, the 'towel hut', in exchange for a huge, dark blue towel that was yours for the day…lost cards were $40…probably saved the resort tons of money from stolen towels)...we also grabbed Todd’s football, and put on big friggin smiles…then we hit the sand and sun. Not sure about everybody else, but I decided to leave money and camera behind for the first day. Lots of time left to take pictures and buy crap over the next week or so.
So we sat in the sun, swam in the salty ocean (learned how to not bust our bodies in the waves and rocks by the end of the week at least, but it was a rough day that first day), played some beach volleyball, tossed the football around, drank our free booze (they even had servers run you out drinks if you wanted...!!) and just relaxed.
Corona was my beverage of choice for the first few days…it kept me hydrated…so my theory went anyways….actually, we challenged Wes to drink one of each kind of drink on the list at the pool bar by the end of the week, being the crazy guy he is an all. Not sure if he did it, but I know he gave it a valiant effort. And nothing but free-pouring down there...everywhere..."stiff drinks" is an understatement...
I think Sara (maybe Jay too?) grabbed a kayak and gave it a try out on the ocean for a bit.
Just whatever you wanted to do (or didn’t want to do) you did (or didn’t do).
The weather was so awesome, all week long in fact, hot and sunny, no rain, but just enough of a breeze to keep you comfortable.
As the day went on, we took it all in. Lazing around the pool and the swim-up bar, or on the beach, trying not to get caught staring at the senoritas in bikinis. We were to eventually learn (as the days past and we meet different people) that our spring break coincided with both Michigan’s and Indiana’s spring breaks as well. So there was literally dozens of scantily clad little high school young’ins from the States running around at our resort. Made us feel a little old but hey, whatever. In fact, there were even a couple girls there that had to be so young that it was probably illegal for us just to look at them….I’ll show you pictures later on…!!>br> Just kidding!!.....Or...?!?
Later, we did the buffet lunch, had some more to drink, and then did nothing at all…all afternoon in fact.
Down on the beach there were people almost everywhere, but there was still prime reality most anywhere you could see, so that was cool. There were also all these locals dressed in all-white clothes running all over the beach area. These folks were the ones plying their trades and trying their best to sell whatever merch you could think of to who ever they could. Necklaces, rings, clothes, towels, hammocks (where you gonna string up a hammock on a beach is beyond me but…), tattoo artists, hair-braiders for the girls, and on and on. And not just like one guy per item either, nope, like ten guys per item. If you avoided eye contact you were ok, but show the slightest bit of interest and you were getting bugged for a sale. They learned who to ask, and who not to ask, after awhile though.
Back to the hotel now...there was an ‘Activities Crew’ that did just that, ran different activities all day long in or around the pool area. 'Aquacises' at 11am, then a different kind of contest each day at 1pm (usually some form of a drinking game), and other games and activities throughout the rest of the afternoon. It was cool to watch.
Wes and I hit it off pretty well for only really meeting the day before, and we just sat in the pool and stared at the ladies as we sipped our beverages and watched the games.
*sidenote* I guess while sort of on the subject, besides Ian and Todd (who I had known for a long time already), and Jay (who I knew from my wrestling buddies…we actually had gone down to Wrestle Mania in Houston a couple years ago), this was basically the first time I had spent any significant amount of time with these other people. Both Andrea and Sara are super-cool girls, and Marty and Wes and I all got along great, although we’re definitely 3 different people. At least we’re all laid back to begin with though, and now we’re in Mexico…? C’mon…no worries...
Ok, back to the beach...Marty and Jay were the only smart ones that kept their shirts on and didn’t get blazed by the sun all day long (I resembled a done lobster by the end of the afternoon, even after tanning for 2 months beforehand….ah well, what’s a little skin cancer hey?)
And thank you Todd for the Aloe Vera…I still owe you a tube of it.
Actually though, I must mention that even though Jay had his shirt on, this turned out to be Day 1 of ‘Jay’s Excellent Tanning Adventure’. He didn’t realize he left a shirt button open in the middle of his chest (Sara even tried pointing it out to him, but he left it the way it was). By supper he had burned a bulls-eye dead center between his titties. Attaboy Jay. I wish we had documented it with pictures. Ha ha.
Anyways, during the day we all also hung out a little bit with a crew of folks also from Brandon staying at the same resort as us, only they got there the day before (Jason Potter, Darcy Patton, his girlfriend (but soon to be fiancé) Kathy, Kevin Ennis and his wife Shawna, plus a couple others…not too sure about the spelling there, but whatever).
We signed up for a boat booze-cruise for the next day, and pretty much did whatever we felt like doing around the resort til supper. There was an 'a-la-carte'-style hut that served hotdogs, burgers, fries and nachos all afternoon too that we frequented many times over the afternoon, and week.
Both Todd and Ian found the gym in the resort to go work out at (cuz they’re both grossly out of shape…right...), and I think they went almost daily. I know Sara and Jay joined them a time or two as well.
After supper we decided to walk downtown, along the main boulevard strip called 'Le Malecon'. This essentially is a long run of street with a boardwalk along the beach / coastline, with all these little shops, restaurants and bars jammed together across on the other side of the road. We heard it was pretty cool to check out at night so we booked’er down there on foot. Not the brightest idea to be wearing sandals for that trek, but whatever…man, my sunburnt feet paid the price that night (I had earlier fallen asleep on the beach under the shade of a cabana hut for an hour or so in the afternoon…well, all of me except my feet…yup, toasty red and burnt….excellent Adam, good job buddy).
It was a long walk there and back, but Todd and I kinda hiked it up ahead of the rest of the group and checked out some shops (flea-market-type dealies). We all met up eventually, looked around for a bit, then scooted back to the resort. And by that time, we were all done walking for the day...if not just 'done' period.
We dipped our aching feet in the closed pool to stop the burning (I wonder if that would work for other body parts…? Um, never mind…), and dropped into some of the most comfortable lobby furniture I’d ever been in. You see, the little American pipsqueaks had taken over the main lobby bar, so we took our drinks out into the open-air lobby and just chilled and drank until the bar closed.
The main lobby area, and front desk
You see, each night the resort activities staff took people to a different bar. You pay your 300 pesos (or whatever) up front, and you got a free ride there, free cover, no waiting in lines…my favorite part…and free booze once inside. But since we were essentially run out of energy from our own first day “activities” we were more than happy to just crash for the night anyway.
It was a hell of a day doing nothing at all, and we had to be up again early to get to that boat cruise, so we flicked on the TV around 12:30 and I think we were all out by 1am. What a great day...
For 350 pesos each ($35 American) we had all signed up for this boat cruise.
We taxied it to the Marina first thing in the AM, got our tickets, and lined up along a pier as our boat pulled up. “The Shamballa II”.
Some of the tour boats at the Marina
A nice group pic…
That’s where we were going to go snorkel, over by those rocks
See the fish...?
Snorkelling…
Me, from the top deck of our boat...
and the 'Great Wall of Bird Poop' in behind
And now Todd...
Two studly guys…and Jay…
King (and Queen) of the world…
Going up the path to the waterfall…
(way up some mountain, after our horsie rides...)
Ian and Todd are on the rocks there somewhere…
That’s one of them there making a splash…
Some of the locals were jumping from the top of those rocks…!!
We stopped for an authentic Mexican meal in some little village…
A nice shot of one of the beaches we stopped at…
taken from the boat
Then another beach…only fuzzier…
"The Michigan Girls". Again, another group of barely-legal girlies from the States, that, over the course of the week, we ran into at least once every single day (even though they were staying at another resort down the strip). A couple of them took a liking to Todders, but he played it cool and let them come to us... the sly devil. Ha ha. I inadvertently helped us all get acquainted that day though, so give me some credit too...
During the hour-or-so ride back to the Marina the boat crew has a ritual. They bring out some tequila, and all the bottles have to be empty before they dock the boat. So, shots for everyone that could handle it. And like I said before, free booze all day (and they were handing out bottles of Corona like they were Cokes), so some of us were seeing double already. They would literally pester you to finish one so they could stick another one down for you. Now I ain’t much of a drinker per sey, but I put away half a dozen bottles by the time the tequila man came a’knockin, and I wasn't the only one...
Ok, wait...back to the girlies, cuz this is the part where I ‘make my move’.
Todd had had his own technique to float the lime slice in the bottle of Corona, but he wasn’t being too successful at it, trying to use some “index-finger slide” method (I dunno what he was trying to accomplish..?) So I try to show him how it’s done, right?
'Lime in, thumb over the opening, invert, wait, right-side-up, and lift the thumb slightly to shoot out some foam'. Piece of cake...it's an art-form really.
So, Todders, being the wickedly smart cookie he is, gives it a try….and sprays me in the face…thanks Todd.
So I get him back…right? Not even close. In fact, instead I shoot my 'Corona load' all over the little hotties sitting across from us….solid…my, uh, 'plan' worked perfectly. Todd saves face by putting the heat on me, and the girls giggle….tee hee…I’m sooo 'The Man' at this point…but anyway, back to the tequila shots...
A few people step up to do a couple as the guy makes his way around the deck. Ian had a couple I think, Todd put away a few, I kept pace with them, and Marty (who has looked paler than a ghost from the moment he stepped on the boat from motion-sickness….although Andrea did his puking for him…? not sure how that worked but…) is regaining his composure after the Gravol kicks in, even pounds a few too.
Then Wes…good ol’ Wesly….9 STRAIGHT SHOTS…booyaa...the whole boat was egging him on by the last one, and the ‘Michigan Girls’ were chanting, “Frank the Tank!”
So now both Todd and Wes (Frank) are ‘in’…sure, I’ll play sidekick, I have no problem with that…ha…thanks boys, 'Chad Tatum' at his finest….cuz that's who I was this whole trip, 'Chad Tatum'...nevermind...just go along with it...
Wes and I even got up dancing to the Macarena with these ladies, and are just getting our groove on when we pull in to port.
Some bevies…
Leads to goofiness…
Followed by the Macarena…I’m the doofus with the hat on to the right…
those are some of the ‘Michigan Girls’ in the middle…
Once back on land we decided to hit up the super-Wal-Mart for snacks and junk, so we '2-feet-and-a-heartbeat' it a few blocks up the road from the Marina. The Robinson brothers (maybe Wes too?) decided to get water shoes to save their feet from the rocks under the surf in the ocean. Plus by this time we needed to relieve some bladder tension from the boat cruise in their facilities anyways.
Once done, we all walk back a few blocks (much to Wes’s non-desire) to get cabs to go back to our resort. Slightly tired, we all crashed for a couple of hours actually, skipped supper (or at least our room did anyway) and slept for a bit.
Wes and I let the other 2 sleeping beauties lie, and headed out to the pool area. Each night of the week, at 9pm, the same Activities Crew that I talked about before also put on a different show on the main stage off near the towel hut in the pool area, mainly for the families staying at the resort. It was usually just a lot of differently-themed dancing and acting, depending on the night.
This night it was a comedy sketch show, for an hour. So we hung out there til everyone else got up and eventually met back in the lobby. We were slowly but surely taking over the lobby area at night, as again, the American divas and their cocky little guy friends crowded the main bar area, so we pulled some tables and chairs together, drank and watched, and drank some more.
We met Nikita this night. I called him ‘Dimitri’….I don’t know why…he just looked more like a Dimitri to me I guess…
He was this 17-year old guy, staying at the resort with his parents, getting plowed in the lobby bar by himself in the midst of all these other teenybopper Americans who were having nothing to do with him. I think it was Wes that eventually called him over. It turned out his family was from Russia, and they had money coming out the wazoo, so they moved to San Francisco so he could play tennis. I guess this guy was money with a racquet, cuz he apparently was like the 3rd-ranked guy in all of ‘Frisco…cool….whatever…come sit with us and drink buddy…nothing like setting the good example hey?
The crowd left like it did the night before, leaving us to dick around and drink in peace and quiet. Todd brought out his deck of cards (a little-known fact about Todd Robinson is that he is a card-trick god….and he uses this weapon to seduce the unknowing…or at very least, to break the ice in a conversation).
We got to meet 'Indiana' this night too...another little lady...of course.
After 'the couples' from our group had long gone to bed, we (the Fantastic Four) and Dimitri, chatted up a few silly little girls that had forgotten their money or ID or something back in their rooms, and had to come back to get it, drunk out of their faces. ‘Indiana’ (cuz that’s where she was from…and damn proud of it too…actually, I think her name was Ashley really) was diggin us hard when her buddy, Sam ('pink bikini'….that’s how we came to know the girls worthy of an effort of turning our heads to look at as the week went by, by giving them these types of labels...are we gentlemen or what?!) told her it was time to go….so, kisses for everyone before they left. Solid. They no-sold it the next day around the pool of course, but hey, whatever…it was our first ‘action’ story to brag about….aaalll-rriiigghhhtt…
2 o’clock hits, and it’s 'go-to-bed' time after another long, but great, day….
This time it was the other Robinson that came and woke our tired butts up and out of bed bright and early. I understand the whole ‘don’t-sleep-away-your-vacation’ idea but c’mon…I’d enjoy my time here a lot more if I had even just an hour or so more sleep-in…but whatever, no more griping, cuz I’m in Mexico!!
Before I’m even off the mattress I feel a little ‘rumbly-in-my-tumbly’ syndrome hit my guts, and I start to worry. Gas is one thing, but you just know when something ain’t right, right!?
Well, let’s say I skimped on breakfast, maybe grabbing some toast or something….but it wasn’t long before I was back in our room sittin’ on the throne. I knew some of our crew got a good bout of the trots the evening before, so I wasn’t surprised that it was now my turn, as I was wondering when my body would start fighting back after a few solid days of me beating it up.
Todd suggested Imodium. Aahh, Imodium, my savior. The package said start with 2, then take another one after every, uh, y’know. So I did. By 8pm I had taken 4 more. You do the math. I swear on my daughter’s life it wasn’t til the second day back in Brandon, almost a week later, that I finally unplugged!!
So the Imodium bunged me up right good, but whatever, at least I was done sitting on the crapper. And since I know you all want to know, for the record, Todd and Andrea were the only ones that didn’t have to experience Montezuma’s Revenge. Lucky pricks.
Not that Todd didn't have his moments...adding to it all was the fact our bathroom door wouldn’t shut properly…so, our room’s aroma was superb to say the least. I was nice enough though, and used a different bathroom than the one in our room. However, I got to know some of the boys a lot better over the week, in some ways I won’t even write about here. You can imagine for yourself what I might be talking about, especially if I feel comfortable enough to talk about my own toiletry problems, but not about this. All I’ll say on the subject is (and the boys will understand, sorry if you don’t...thank God you don’t actually).
A couple of us had bought some spray-on tanning lotion at Wal-Mart the other day, so Jay squirted his ripped up body too, like the rest of us did, but what he didn’t do (like the rest of us did) was spread around the lotion. Again…attaboy Jay.
So now, still with the bulls-eye dead center, he proceeds to burn patchwork-style for the rest of the day. It didn’t show up til the next evening, but it was friggin hilarious to say the least. He covered it by saying it was his intention all along to tan like a paint-by-numbers gimmick, and he did, piece by piece. Ha ha.
But back to today, which did, IBS aside, turn out pretty good. It actually turned into what was one of the best nights of the trip (for me anyway, but not for poor Marty, who was laid out all night with the runs and had to stay back when we scooted…but he had his Motley Crue book to help ease the pains).
Most of us met at the show area at 9 that night to begin things. It was a talent show theme this night I think. Whatever it was, it turned out memorable.
In between some of the dance numbers and skits, they would put on a little something or other involving the audience. They asked for 3 sexy senoritas and 3 strong muchachos to volunteer to come up on stage for a contest.
The crowd was being a little hesitant so I broke out my new philosophy for the night:
“WHAT THE HELL, I’M IN MEXICO…I’LL NEVER BE HERE DOING THIS AGAIN!!”
...and so I marched up on stage...
As the rest came up on stage I realized I might be in some trouble though. The stage crew was setting up a table with shot glasses, and pulled out 2 bottles of tequila. Crap. My stomach was still yelling at me, determined to ruin my life, and there I was, about to take part in a drinking contest. Um…ok….here we go!!
The gimmick was you had to grab the mic, say your name, say where you were from, do your shots, and then give a crazy Mexican scream. The crowd would vote their favorites, and the non-winners would sit down.
I was second in line for the guys. The chicks went first, and all they could muster was one or two shots.
Man…I’m gonna look like such a dork if I puke after one sip, then run off the stage holding my shorts.
*side note here* I can’t stand tequila at all.
I binged on it one night long ago, and now even the smell makes me gag.
So I really was in trouble here...
The first dude (some middle-aged stereotypical 'father-on-vacation'-looking type guy) is up first. He was actually from Selkirk, and he did 2 shots, gave a weak scream, and then fought down a throw-up afterward.
Great. My turn. The host guy calls me Brad Pitt (I was kinda decked out to go to the bar later I guess), and tells me to come forward.
The guy with the mic asks how many shots I’m gonna do. I say ‘dos’ trying to be smart ("2" for those not-in-the-know).
But the guy makes a joke of it, saying,
So, ok, my turn to throw up now...
Boom, one shot (hey, not so bad)...boom, another shot (still ok, but…)...blam, another one (um…maybe I should stop this crazy guy?)...
Time to poll the crowd.
Buddy number three was from Guadalajara, so I knew I was finished right off the bat. 'Joe Mexico' plowed down 8 shots…..boooyyyaaaaaa…..just let me off the stage right now, don’t bother polling the audience.
Needless to say I was buried and tossed in short order. That’s ok though. The tequila started to take ahold of me within a few minutes (believe me, lots of sun, little sleep, and an empty stomach lets you get tanked...and quickly), and a stupid grin must have been growing on my face before we even left for the bar that night.
I'm pretty sure Andrea and/or Sara got pictures of all the above, so maybe I can get some off of them to post here later on...
The hotel crew that night was going to a place called ‘Collage’. 250 pesos got us there, in without a wait, and an open bar. Plus the theme that night there was a 'foam party', that included a wet t-shirt contest (we were to learn that every night, at every bar, was a wet t-shirt contest of some sort. Solid).
Once in, I went wandering, cuz everyone else got in the long line for a drink. I figured I’d better take it easy with a few in me already, and with the condition of my guts, I didn’t want to have to go home early by myself (like so many nights from 'Yaks' back in the day at home…those are other stories in themselves).
I took a look around, and saw our crew go sit down near the pool tables off to the back of the bar, by the main entrance. The whole place was shaped essentially like a big bowl, with the dance floor in the middle, with rising levels up around the whole thing. Off to one side was the main stage, and then way above that was a balcony with dance cages. They had security working the stairs up to the balcony, who only would let 'money-looking' chicks up there. Dividing the couch benches on each level was a concrete half-wall that people were standing on, so I found a spot and stood on one near the 4th level, to be able to see the whole place.
When a table opened up right behind me, I got their attention, and pulled our crew into a way better “viewing” position.
Within minutes of us getting seated, the dj cleared the dance floor and turned off all the lights. Then some fire-dancers came out and did their thing. It was pretty cool.
Some fire-dancing…
And a little more…
Around 12 or so the dj got on the mic and started counting down from 10…as this big water-bucket-machine-thing was lowered over the middle of the dance floor. There were 2 hoses...one for water, the other for the soap stuff attached to it…and at ‘zero’ some small pyro went off, and the foam party began!!
I thought it would pour out for a couple of minutes or something….naw, close to 2 hours later it finally stopped, and only so they could do the wet t-shirt contest!! This place is awesome!!!
So far, no one wanted to get off their butts really at first, just sit there, drink and stare...but I stood up on my concrete ledge mini-dance floor and got my groove on, as only Chad Tatum can, to the solid music they were playing (kinda like it is here, the rap and rock and stuff, only nearly everything was remixed down there...it was good).
I didn’t care (see “Philosophy”). The girls eventually got into it too, but stayed away from the dance floor, and just got up on the mini wall too.
We had actually heard back at the resort or something that the foam at those things was bad for you and your clothes, so no one was brave enough to try it, until I kinda decided, ‘screw this, I’m at my first foam party, and probably not going to be at another one anytime soon again'... So I went for a wander. It just happened to turn out that, by "accident", my return trip led me straight across the dance floor...so yea, by the time I got back I was covered in bubbles, my shirt had been ripped all the way off, and I was soaked head to toe. Like literally. So much for my new shirt and shorts. (Oh yea, and my ID and money inside my pockets too. Meh).
I must have made an impression on Wes, cuz soon he busted out there with me and was covered too. By the end of the night I think everyone hit the bubble floor at some point, and we all turned out fine (and all that happened to our clothes was that they got wet, so don’t believe the hype about the foam). By the end of the night the water on the dance floor was up over our ankles, easily. There was that much liquid pouring out.
Some locals at the table next to us became close friends by the time the night was done too. They could barely speak any decent English, and none of us understood 'drunk Spanish', but we all had a hell of a conversation anyway.
Our local friends for the night…
Brothers from different mothers...
I led the way and he walked behind, pointing me at various women (large or not, obviously 'taken' or not) and we got our mack on. We finally found some girls to grind with (we had no choice, as it was so packed on the dance floor), and without a word of a lie, within 1 minute (1 minute!!) this guy had his tongue down her throat!! Solid. That’s how they do things over there I guess. Ha!!
Meanwhile, the other boys were getting plowed trying to keep up with our Mexican buddies in drinking contests. Even big Wes had to tap out when they started using beer as mix for their vodka. We even got offered some ‘co-cayeeen’ from them too. For some reason we declined...
We even met up with the ‘Michigan Girls’ (“Frank the Tank! Frank the Tank!"), so Wes was in. And so was Todd. Even Ian was swooned over by a few of them. I’m sure that made Andrea best friends with all of them of course…especially after one of them told her that she thought that “those twins are haat” – Michigan accents don’t forget – referring to the fact that Ian and Todd do look quite alike…one of them even told Andrea to:
I don't know if she ever passed along that message to Ian or not...? Ha ha...
A couple ‘Michigan Girls’, and Sara and Andrea get their groove on together…
despite their mutual lust for the same boys...
Todd and his wet harem of beauties...
The foam party was worth it. We got back close to 3:30 I think; soaking wet and, pardon my language, shit-faced. But we had a blast. Jay took some pictures with Sara’s digital camera that I think they’d both like to forget (mostly Jay I imagine), but there was a nice one of Ian with a drunken couple in the background groping. Take a look-see...what you think of this chick’s, shall we say, ‘handiwork’?
Whatever works I guess...!!
You'll notice where Ian's hand is too...ha ha...
I closed the night off by popping one more Imodium pill, just to be sure…..
Absolutely done....
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