-"Shh, none of that.  You just proposed.  You have bigger things
to worry about.  You have to buy me a ring," he teased and was
rewarded with a smile through the tears.

-"And the moral of the story is never send a weasle to do a fox's job, unless you send a rat for back up." 

-"Fox, you are one of the best FBI agents I've ever worked with, and you're 
one of the finest human beings I've ever known. I'm proud of you, Son." 

Mulder couldn't help it. As Walter spoke words of pride and respect for 
him, Mulder's eyes began to tear. He knew this wasn't exactly the 
reaction expected of an FBI agent, but it was the only one he could 
muster. 

He looked at his father-in-law and said the only words that befitted the 
situation. 

"Thanks, Dad." 

Now it was Walter Skinner's turn to become misty eyed. He opened his 
mouth to speak once, closed it, and then tried again.
"I think, that has got to be the best Father's Day gift you could have 
ever given me, Fox. Thank you," he barely choked out as he stretched one 
arm around Mulder's shoulders. 

Mulder simply nodded his head in acknowledgment. He knew if he tried to 
speak he would totally lose it, so he simply nodded his head and leaned 
in ever so slightly to the physical sign of affection from his boss; from 
his father-in-law; from his dad. 

-As Mulder and Scully walked to the office exit, Mulder turned around and, to
show there were no hard feelings, teasingly said, "Now you make sure you two
kids don't do anything we wouldn't do." 

"Hey Mulder," the AD called back, grinning from ear to ear, "Thanks!" 

Walter broke out laughing as he heard Scully admonish her partner, "Mulder,
that's my mother we're talking about!" 

-"Good girl," replied the tall, dark, good looking EMT. 

Skinner smiled wryly to himself and counted silently. One. Two. Three. Now. 

"That's Dr. Scully to you," she replied forcefully. 

"Oh. Right. Yes, Doctor. I apologize. I didn't know.'' 

"Forgive him Dr. Scully, for he has sinned," chuckled Paramedic Tony
Sullivan. "Roger here is new to the team and simply didn't know any better."

-"Sir? Sir? Are you okay?" Scully called out anxiously. 

"Shit." 

"Sir?" she called again. "Where are you?" 

"Over here by what used to be my desk. There's damned glass all over
me. I'm afraid to move for fear I'll be shard to death," Walter Skinner said in
a frustrated, but equally anxious voice. 

-"I like baseball too."--Scully "The Goldberg Variation"
Jo's X-Files & Other Stuff: http://www.geocities.com/jsxfnelson

-Though they now lived in the small,  three bedroom house they, thankfully,
didn't have all that many windows to tape.   It didn't take very long to secure
all of the windows with them acting as a team.  Scully pulled the tape and
handed one end to Mulder.  He reached up and patted it down in the corner,
while Scully pulled it taut and taped her end in the other corner.  They
chuckled together when they realized the appropriateness of the large "X's" on
each of their windows.

"If any strangers knock on our door claiming to have information for us,
Mulder, I for one, am running for the hills," laughed Scully.

"I'll be right behind you my G-Woman, you can trust me on that," Mulder
responded in kind.

-It always came down to 
following orders like good little soldiers, and that was one thing Walter 
Skinner was.  Dana used to be, but not since she fell in love with the 
rebel for every cause! 

-"Say yes, Agent Mulder, or I will handcuff you and stuff
you in the nearest lockable room and I will write on the door,
using your own blood, 'Do not open until situation resolved.
Signed A. D. Skinner'. Is that what you want, Agent Mulder?"

-However, he would have no FBI assistance with that, especially
not Agent Scully's, because if word got out that he was doing
anything regarding the X-Files, then it was better that he and he
alone get killed or turned into a vegetable.
  
      There was some graveyard humor then, with Mulder
insisting on potato, Skinner opting for turnip, Cohen waffling
between radish and beet, and Elliot holding out for carrot. Then
Henry stepped in, saying _he_ was the psychiatrist, and _he_
would make the diagnosis. The four agents looked at each other,
then nodded in unison. "Not a root vegetable. A cabbage.
Definitely. All those layers upon layers upon layers." At which
point all five of them started laughing.

-Mulder finally closed his eyes; the faulty vision was making him nauseous.
He concentrated on her voice as she repeated, "It's over; you're safe."
Between breaths, he asked, "Are you gonna sing?"

Scully paused. Mulder had said many weird things in the past, but this one
really rocked her. "Sing? Mulder, you've heard me sing. Aren't you
suffering enough?"

Now it was his turn to pause. His grip tightened slightly. "This is real?
You're really here?"

"You mean, I sing in your dreams?" she wondered.

"In my nightmares."

Scully chuckled. She took his hand from her arm and held it in both of
hers, balancing the flashlight on her knee. "Insult me, and I'll leave you
here."
 
-Scully scanned the array of cardboard shamrocks and 
leprechauns stapled to the booths of Flynn's Capitol 
Mall Pub. "I mean, Mulder, is this what our cultural 
awareness has come to? Look at me – a redheaded, 
Irish-American cop. But no one in my family ever 
traveled to Ireland, I don't know a single word of 
Gaelic, and my priest's name is Wozjehewski. We're 
not a melting pot – we're like a bad cheesy 
casserole."

-"Damn," Mulder said. "He must have seen us."
 
A second later, a muzzle flash registered just 
before Scully felt the white-hot pain that only came 
from a bullet wound. She found herself being 
dragged into a doorway, while her partner fired at 
their assailant. Darting a glance at her, he asked, 
"How bad is it?"
 
The pain in her chest was so great that she could 
hardly talk. "Bad," she managed to gasp out.
 
She heard Mulder's weapon clatter to the ground 
as he gave her his full attention. "Scully?" He 
sounded so lost, and she wished she could tell 
him that everything would be okay, but she knew 
that this time it wouldn't. 
 
"Love... you... Mulder," she whispered, and then 
she died.
 
Scully was being crushed. She couldn't breathe, 
and her whole body was shaking. 
 
"No, Scully! No no no no no..." It was Mulder. He 
was the reason she couldn't breathe, and he was 
the one crushing her, and it was his trembling that 
made it feel like she was shaking. "Oh, God. Oh, 
no. Oh, God, Scully, no..." He was crying, and 
hugging her to him so hard that she couldn't move. 
"Please. Oh, God, please, don't take her away 
from me. Don't do this. Oh, God, please..."
 
He sounded so devastated that it was breaking 
her heart. What the hell was the matter with him? 
Except for his trying to squeeze the life out of her, 
she felt fine. 
 
"Don't die, Scully. Please don't die." His tears were 
soaking into the shoulder of her blouse, and she 
could tell how distraught he was, but she couldn't 
do a thing about it, his hold on her was so tight.
 
"Mulder... Hey, come on, man, let her go." People 
kept trying to pry her out of his arms, but it only 
caused him to cling to her all the harder.
 
"No!" he snarled.
 
"Agent Mulder." She recognized A.D. Skinner's 
voice. "What happened?" he asked softly.
 
His voice sounded dead when he spoke. "We 
followed the suspect down here. We were careful, 
but he must have seen us. He ambushed us, and 
shot Scully." He took a hitching breath, and 
sobbed out, "She's dead, sir." Clutching her to 
him, he whispered, "She's dead."
 
"Let the paramedics look at her, Mulder," Skinner 
said gently.
 
Mulder sniffled. "Okay," he said, loosening his grip.
 
Scully felt herself being removed from her love's 
arms and laid carefully on something soft. It was 
then that she realized that it wasn't because of 
Mulder that she couldn't breathe, or move, or... 
anything. She just wasn't alive any longer. 
 
Hands began touching her. Examining her, she 
knew. After a few moments, the paramedic 
stopped. "I'm sorry," she heard the man say.
 
Then she was back in Mulder's arms again. "No," 
he moaned. "Please don't..." He buried his face in 
the crook of her neck. "Don't do this to me, Scully. 
Please... Oh, God. I wish we were never assigned 
to this stakeout--"
 
And she found she could breathe. She was still in 
Mulder's arms, but they were on her couch, in her 
living room. She heard Mulder gasp, then loosen 
his death grip on her. "Scully?" he asked fearfully.
 
Finding she could move, she threw her arms 
around him. "I'm here. I'm here, love. I'm alive!"
 
Instead of his hugging her back, Mulder ripped her 
from his body, holding her out at arm's length. His 
breathing was shallow and hitching; he looked like 
he was having a heart attack. "You're..." He tried 
to draw enough breath to talk. "You're not..."
 
She shook her head. "I'm not." Not anymore, she 
thought.
 
"But you..." His face crumbled, and he gathered 
her in close, tight but not as bruisingly hard as 
before. He didn't say anything more, just held her 
close and wept. She hugged him back, and let him 
get it all out of his system.

-Poor neighbour muttered, "Oh God, you two aren't going to
start up in HERE, are you?", then he saw what we were
doing and heard Mulder's proud, "Feel that kick!" and the
guy's face went ashen. We had bred. And he was going to
have to put up with baby howling all through the night
now, not just us.

Two days later a moving van arrived, and two hours after
that, he was gone.

-I am sitting in my office and my mouth is still hanging
open.

I don't believe what that woman did. I mean I just don't
believe it. The interview with Skinner was over, you know
the one where you have to tell your boss that you are
pregnant. I went along, but Dana did most of the talking,
thank God. I think he was genuinely happy for us. I can't
recall ever seeing him smile like that before. We have a
good friend in him. Of course, maybe he was just happy
that he would have to split us up now and we might be less
of a pain in the ass, but I don't think so. I think he was
pleased for both of us and wanted us to be happy.

Anyway, I found myself following my soon to be bride. We
didn't get off the elevator in the basement as I expected. 
We got off on the second floor by the bull pen as she said
that she had to stop and pick up a file. I should have sensed
that she was up to something. I guess the fog of happiness
I've been in lately has been just too thick.

What did she do? She climbed up on Tom Colton's desk. My
heart was in my mouth. What if she fell? I wanted to hold
her, but didn't dare. Then before I could even process the
sight of her on the desk, she clapped her hands loudly three
times attracting the attention of every one there. Believe
me when I tell you it didn't take long. Scully may be little,
but she is also pretty damned intimidating. When they
were all looking at us, much to my horror, she gave her
audience a big smile.

"I have an announcement to make," she said in a loud voice.
"Before you hear it from anyone else, I just want you all to
know that Spooky Mulder knocked up the Ice Queen. Boy did
she enjoy it. Caught her on the first go round and broke the
couch. Now let's hear a round of applause for Special Agent
Fox Mulder and Dr. Dana Scully, soon to be Mr. & Mrs.
Spooky."

I wanted to "kill" her. Hell, I still do, but she's pregnant
so I can't. There are innocent parties involved here. All I
can do is sit here with my mouth hanging open. I mean,
after all, what is a man to do? Besides, when you think
about it, it's kind of funny. I'll say this much, I know now
who wears  the pants in the family and it sure as hell isn't me.

-Byers had not been happy about Mulder's glibly invented
alias of "Briars" for him. The same with "Ganglie" and
"Gohippy".

"What's your problem? I didn't think you'd want me to use
your real names and it was an on-the-spot thing. I think
I did pretty well. They *did* match."

He got three frosty looks in return.

"They were too similar to our real names," Byers
continued. "And we have sufficient evidence to believe
you did not pick them with a sense of fairness."

"What evidence?"

"This," Frohike said, holding up a copy of "From Outer
Space", causing Mulder to promptly blanch in disgust.
"Because we happened to have a chuckle at 'Reynard
Muldrake'."

"Guys, I warned you not to buy that junk. That's just
feeding the misinformation campaign. And now that I see
you with that, I'm even more glad that I had fun with
your names!"

"That's it," Langly groused. "We're taking him off the
subscriber's list."

-But with supernatural timing, just then there was a knock
on the door and the doctor entered. "Ah, he's awake." Dr
Leon's association with the agents went way back. He
shook his head at his patient, very amused. "We've had to
get an entire filing cabinet just to house your medical
file, Agent Mulder. Now let's make sure you're fine and
ship you out so you can come back like a homing pigeon."

"Oh Leon, you wound me."

The doctor shrugged fatalistically. "If you love someone,
set them free. If they return, they are yours. If they
don't then they never were. You just keep coming back to
me . . ." He dramatically thumped his heart with the
medical charts and sighed mournfully.

He soon gave Mulder the all clear. Scully noticed Dr Leon
notice them holding hands. His mouth quirked up. She knew
he was surprised at such visible display of affection
between them at this stage, when Mulder was safe. And
with someone else present.

"I'll send Debbie in with the discharge papers. Unless of
course the two of you want to redecorate the room and
begin paying rent. A cosy little love nest . . ." He
hurried out the door as Mulder and Scully tried to
simultaneously throw a pillow.

-"Because - because when I die...you'll be able to go on.
You'll still have Sam to look for." She prepared to say
the hardest words she'd ever uttered. She forced them out
before they choked her. "I don't want your love,
Mulder...because it's so strong - I'm afraid that when I
die, you will follow."

For a second he looked stricken that she was rejecting
his feelings, then clearly realised her great worry. And
her great feelings in return. Her fears were justified
when he nodded calmly. "You're right. I will follow."

"I don't want you to die," she said.

"And I don't want *you* to."

-Mulder was inexplicably getting worse. The
ridiculous thought hit her that he'd somehow found out
she'd seen the tape and was dying of a sudden attack of
morality.

-Maggie picked a thick robe up from where she had draped
it over the back of a chair earlier. She held it out to
Mulder. "Here. This was my husband's bathrobe."

"I couldn't -" Mulder said.

"He wouldn't mind. You need to keep warm."

Mulder looked down at what he was wearing. And his
sluggish brain knew that when he had crashed on the couch
in his apartment, he had been wearing a lot more.

"That's right, Mulder. You slept through three women
stripping you," Melissa said blithely.

He blinked. "Oh. Okay...." was his only comment as he
took the robe and put it on, trying to work out if she
was joking.

Dana shot Missy a murderous look. "Peace, Dana," Melissa
sent back. "The man needs some humour."

Mulder was staring at them in bemusement. "Don't worry,"
Melissa couldn't help adding. "Dana only let us near your
extremities."

He laughed. It sounded rusty. And Dana felt a tiny bubble
of jealousy in her that she had not been the one to make
him do that. But she quickly shook it off. She did feel
like retorting to her sister that she knew from personal
experience that Mulder's extremities were extreme. But
she held her tongue.

"Define extremities," Mulder fired back at Melissa with a
grin, then he glanced at Maggie and blushed.

-"Welcome, agents," Skinner said as he waved them to the chairs in front of his desk. 
"I've had an opportunity to review your report, and wanted to go over some of the details."

Mulder sat in the chair on the right, his right leg crossed over his left, while Scully mirrored his position, 
left over right, in the left chair. Dana was barely able to keep her attention on what their supervisor was 
saying as she watched his face intently. She wanted to see every nuance as she moved her left foot an inch or so, 
rubbing her ankle against Mulder's. He returned the gesture, developing a sensuous dance that Skinner couldn't ignore.

Losing all track of the points he wanted to discuss, Skinner stared dumfounded at his seasoned, experienced agents
 as they sat in front him literally playing footsy. He found himself in a position he'd never have dreamed, and had 
absolutely no idea what to do about it. He'd known for years that Scully and Mulder were close, even hoped, 
somewhere deep inside, that they'd find a way to be together as their love for each other dictated. But to have them 
demonstrating it right in front of him? It was improper behavior for on the job, there was no doubt about that. So should
 he say something? Or turn a blind eye and get on with his report.

Walter Skinner realized that, as rare as it was, he was blushing. Clearing his throat, he said, "everything . . .
 you're report . . ." He coughed again as Scully ran a moist tongue over her lips, her eyes on Mulder instead of her boss. 
Finally, he gave up - wanting no more than to have these two out of his office before they decided to consummate their 
partnership right here in front of him. "I just wanted to commend you on a job well done, agents. Thank you for your 
report, you're dismissed." 

Mulder and Scully shrugged their shoulders at each other and stood to leave, his hand in hers as they closed the 
door behind them. Inside the office, Skinner ran a crisp white handkerchief over the sweat of his brow. He couldn't 
take too many more meetings like that, and had to decide what to do about his agents.

In the hallway, Mulder and Scully made their way to the elevator, looking in gratefully when they saw that nobody
 else occupied the car that arrived. Once the doors closed on them, they both broke out laughing. 

-The woman, Agent Scully, stomped through the hallway furiously, with Agent Mulder hot on her heels.

"Scully, wait! Where are you going?" He called out to her, drawing the attention of everybody not already watching.

"Why?!" she demanded, turning on him angrily. "Why? So you can mollify me with sweet nothings and then sneak
 off to meet up with that tramp?!"

"Scully, I swear! There's nobody else!"

"Save it, Mulder," she snapped back. "You've used me for the last time! It's bad enough that I've let you do it 
professionally for seven years; I refuse to let you do it privately as well. Have you taken her to our bed? Or have
 you been using some tawdry motel for your rendezvous!"

"Listen, Scully," Mulder said gently, trying to calm the woman. "There's never been anybody but you - not in 
seven years. And there never will be, I promise!"

"You're damn right there won't be," Scully said, obviously overwrought. "And I'm going to make sure of that."
 Slowly, she drew her gun from the holster tucked in the small of her back, bringing a bead on Mulder. "Nobody 
will ever take my place!"

The crowd surrounding them stood dumbfounded, frozen in shock, as Scully pulled the trigger. Mulder went 
down like a bag of wet sand, face down, as Skinner rushed to his side. When had things gotten so out of control? 
The agent had barely hit the floor when Scully turned the gun on herself. "Together, forever, Mulder," she said 
with a sob. Then a second gunshot, and she fell beside him on the floor.

Skinner rushed to Scully's side, noting that, while Mulder was not moving, she still was. The crowd pushed in 
closer, and he called ineffectually to give them a some room. "Scully! Scully, can you hear me?"

"Sir . . ." came a whisper from her prone body.

"Don't worry, we're getting help for both of you. You'll be okay." Skinner sounded frantic, and she lifted her head a little higher.

"Sir, just one thing."

"What?" he asked, all eyes on the three of them on the floor.

"April Fools!" she shouted in his ear as she jumped to her feet. Gasps were heard all around as they watched 
Mulder do the same. The two agents grew breathless from laughing, while everybody else looked on, still stunned.

Skinner, however, recovered first. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked sternly.

-"Mulder, I can't remember the last time you were rendered speechless. I think I like it," I joke. 

"If you wore this dress every day, Scully, I'd volunteer to give up speaking entirely," Mulder said, a blush 
again turning his cheeks crimson.

"You'd really want me to wear this to the office?" I asked. 

"On second thought, no, I don't. Skinner already stares at you too much."

"He does not," I deny, deciding that distraction is the way to go.

-"Do you like to color?"

"Uh huh," she nodded.  "Wanna color with me?"

"No thank you, but I'd like to watch if you don't mind."

"You can watch.  My daddy says that's what he does for his job.  He's 
a stupidvisor."

Scully muffled her chuckle behind a hand as the girl's mother grinned 
openly, but Mulder managed to maintain his serious face.  "That's a 
very important job," he commented instead.