Title - The Spy Author - Spookysister7 Email address - spookysister7@hotmail.com URL - http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/spookysister7/index.html Rating - PG Category - MASH Spoilers - Post Henry Summary - Hawkeye's in command, a beautiful spy comes along, need I say more? "I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down!" -Hawkeye Feedback - Please, oh please, oh please!!! I'm young, I'm stupid, I need help! Thanx! Post anywhere! Just keep my name and let me know. Disclaimer - BJ and Hot Lips are not mine They aren't making me a dime They belong to my man, Alan And Fox, the company of talent Hawkeye does not belong to me But if he did, I'd be filled with glee Radar and Potter, don't forget Klinger Alright, I'm done, I'll no longer linger But just remember, morning glory They're not mine, now read the story MASH: The Spy "Attention Captain Pierce! Please report to Colonel Potter's office immediately! Thank you. This has been a service of the MASH 4077 intercom system. If you didn't hear this, please contact Radar." "You rang, Colonel?" Hawkeye asked as he sauntered into Potter's office. "Ah, good, just in time." "In time for what?" Hawkeye asked, plopping down into a chair. Potter hefted a large bag onto his desk and shook his head. "I'm glad I caught you before you returned to the Swamp. Burns and I are headed down to Seoul. I'm leaving you in charge." "Ah! Colonel, you promised you'd never leave me in charge again! What do you want left of this camp when you get back?!" "Now, Pierce, I know I said I wouldn't make you do it again, but I've got no choice. You're the highest ranking doctor in this unit! You're in command. Now, if you have any problems, call me. I'll be back here before you can say Betty Boop." "Why me? How long will you be gone?" "A week." "A week! It might as well be a lifetime!" "Oh, horse pucket! You'll be fine. See you in a week." Colonel Potter said as he left the office. * * * Two days passed with little effort, then, on the third day, all hell broke loose. "Radar, what is that racket? Can't you see that I need my beauty sleep?" "But, Sir, it's noon." "Radar, what's wrong with the radio?" Hawkeye sighed, annoyed by the confused clamor blaring from the radio. "Something big is going down, Sir. Something about Russians. That's all I can make out." Almost as Radar finished speaking, the radio fell silent. "Halleluiah. Wake me when the war comes back, will ya?" Hawkeye said, yawning. A crackle of broadcast came clearly through the radio. "I repeat, radio silence shall be observed. No phone calls, telegraphs, or any other forms of communication until further notice. By the command of General Pan..." The broadcast faded out and Radar flipped the switch back and forth. "Silence on all channels, Sir. Jeeze! This must be serious! I've never heard it so quiet! What do you think we should do?" "I'd say we stay silent. Call me if you hear anything." Hawkeye said, only mildly worried. A very nervous Radar clamped the headphones around his ears and listened intently to the silence. * * * After a couple hours of radio silence, Radar was bored. "Hey, Klinger?" "Yah?" "Take over for me for a sec. I need a break." "Kay. Where ya headed?" "I think I'll take a walk, maybe hit the mess tent." "If there's anything edible, bring me some." "Edible? Don't you know why they call it a mess?" "Ha, ha. Don't quit your day job." "Can't." Radar said as he left. "He's been hanging around Captain Pierce too long." Klinger muttered, shaking his head. Radar's wanderings took him around back of the supply room. He took a look at his rabbits, expecting again, and patted his skunk on the head. "How you guys doin'?" He asked rhetorically. "Not too good." A woman answered weakly. Radar looked over at his rabbits. "I'm sorry to hear that Mrs. Sprout. Mrs. Sprout?!" He cried, thinking his rabbit had actually spoken to him. A dry chuckle came from behind him in the tall grass. "Who's there?" Radar asked fearfully, looking back towards his post and safety from disembodied voices. "Over here." The woman said, and Radar peered into the tall grass, catching a glimpse of red. He made his way towards her, picking through the rusty parts that lay partially exposed. He reached the woman and knelt by her side. His first thought was of how beautiful she was. She was young, yet, somehow, not as young as she looked. Her subtly flaming hair was nearly brown, but, as the light caught it, streams of auburn and blonde glowed through. Her skin was so fair, he could swear she would be nearly invisible in snow, and, for some reason, the harsh sunlight hadn't darkened it. Her only coloration came from her hair and her incredibly dark eyes. They were as black as the depths; Radar was sucked into the pain he read in them, but slammed against onyx doors when he tried to read further. "Are you alright, Ma'am?" He asked after a long silence, voice cracking. "Not really. Is this a MASH?" "Yes, Ma'am." "Then will you help me?" She asked, grabbing his shoulder for support as she stood. Radar scrambled to his feet and tried to help her stand. It was then he realized she was hurt and bleeding badly. "Oh my gosh! You're hurt!" He cried. "I assume that most people who come here are." She chuckled. "I'll get you to a doctor right away! Oh, gosh!" She smiled kindly at his flustered reaction. "I'm sure it looks worse than it is, but thank you for your aide. What is your name?" "Oh, I'm Corporal Walter O'Reilly, but everybody calls me Radar." He said, shrugging, as he led her towards Pre-Op. "Oh, everyone does? Well, what would you like me to call you?" She asked. He looked at her in surprise. "Well, I... I..." He stuttered, unsure how to respond. As they reached the Pre-Op doors, she interrupted his stuttering reply. "Walter." She gasped. He looked at her in alarm as she paled; something he had thought impossible. "I don't think I'm going to make it..." She whispered as she passed out and slid to the ground. "Ma'am? Ma'am, are you alright? Medic! Somebody help!" He cried as he hovered over her unconscious body protectively. * * * A few hours later, two men stood at the end of her bed as she lay unconscious. "Does anyone know who she is, Radar?" BJ asked. "No, Sir. With the silence still on I can't ask anyone else, either. How's she doing? She's going to be okay, right?" Radar asked anxiously. "She'll be fine, Radar. She's been shot and lost a lot of blood, but we patched her up and she'll be awake soon. For now, I recommend rest." "Oh, good. I'd hate to see anything happen to her." "You seem awfully worried about her, Radar. Where did you say you found her?" "Well, I was bored, so I asked Klinger to relieve me, and then I went by the mess tent, but there wasn't anything to eat but liver, and I don't like liver much, Sir, and so I..." BJ interrupted his monologue. "Okay, Radar, let's stop there. I think it'd be a good idea to let you tell Hawkeye and I at the same time." "If you say so, Sir." Radar said, heading towards the exit and catching a final glimpse of the angelic figure on the cot. BJ shook his head and followed. They woke Hawkeye up from his mid-afternoon nap, and Radar told the whole story. "... And that's all that happened." Radar concluded. Hawkeye shook himself from his stupor and looked towards BJ for confirmation. BJ motioned towards the door. Pierce nodded. "Very good, Radar. You can go now." "Can I go sit with her again, Sir?" He asked anxiously. BJ and Hawkeye exchanged glances, and Pierce nodded. Radar scurried out of the room as Hawkeye stood and poured two drinks. "What's up, Beej? You look as tense as a one eyed cobra at a mongoose convention." Hawkeye said, handing him a drink. "There's something strange about this woman." "Strange as in bad or strange as in interesting?" Hawkeye said, dropping into his chair. "Bad. The bullet I removed was one of ours." "So, she got caught by some friendly fire. What's new? There's something else." "This isn't the first time she's been hurt, Hawkeye. She's got signs of rope burns on both of her wrists, and her ribs have been broken, twice. Both times they set wrong. She's also been nursing this wound on her own. The edges were partially healed and she obviously put on the bandage herself. It's a wonder the whole leg's not infected." "What are you telling me, Beej?" "She's been beaten, tortured, and she's on the run." "On the run from whom?" "From the bullet and her somniloquesence, I'd say us." "Us? Us who? The US Army us? Then why would she come here?" "Maybe she finally realized she needed real help; maybe we were the first place she saw. I don't know. All I know is she speaks Russian in her sleep, and, based on what I remember from my rusty Russian, she's in deep trouble with some high rankers." "Who is she?" "No dog tags, no identification whatsoever." "In other words, no idea." "Ah, you took the words right out of my mouth." BJ said with a half smile, sipping on his drink as Hawkeye ruminated. "What do the regs say about things like this?" Pierce asked, overwhelmed. BJ grabbed the regulation book and flipped through it. "Let's see... Spam. Speakers, Loud. Spies. Ah, there we go. 'Any person or persons without identification shall be considered a spy until proven otherwise. As such, all such persons shall be confined to a secure location and interrogated by commanding officer. In the event of above person/persons confessing to accusation of spying, or never producing any substantiated proof of identity, an officer of the CIA shall be notified and shall come to escort the prisoner to appropriate holding area until trial and punishment commence. If above person/persons attempt escape while in custody of either the commanding officer or the above agent, the officer/agent has permission to stop said person/persons with lethal force.' What a mouthful. So what are you going to do, oh high and mighty commanding officer?" "A spy. Of all the times for Potter to take a vacation! Three days in charge, and already I'm in trouble. I've got to call the Colonel." Pierce said, reaching for the phone. "Can't. Radio silence, remember? Something to do with Russians." BJ said, sitting back calmly as he sipped his drink. "How can you be so calm? What do I do?" "No idea." "Well, what would you do if you were in my shoes?" "I'm not in your shoes. I'm glad, too. They'd never fit." "How can you joke at a time like this?! Oh, no. Did I just say what I thought I did?" "Yep." "Ugh. I told him not to leave me in charge. Okay, Doctor. Let's go see your patient." Hawkeye said as he charged out of the room, in a hurry to do whatever it was he was going to do. * * * As the two men walked towards the woman's cot, her face was blocked by Radar's hovering presence. This gave Pierce ample opportunity to study the figure under the thin hospital sheet. 5' 4" and 36-26-36, if he was any judge of measurements. They reached the end of her bed and Pierce glanced at the clipboard hanging there. The findings were just as Hunnicut had said. He looked up. Cascades of wavy auburn hair framed an opalescent face. Long, dark eyelashes and thick, shapely eyebrows looked almost painted on, while small rose-colored lips pouted unconsciously. Enraptured by her beauty, Pierce's eyes studied every curve, committing it to memory, as if she would fade away like a dream. Her eyes snapped open, their darkness capturing him so completely he forgot how to breathe. His penetratingly azure eyes melded with her ebony orbs, and, even when she broke the connection, he stood transfixed. "Walter." She whispered, looking over at Radar. "Yes, Ma'am?" "Have you stayed with me this whole time?" "Almost, Ma'am. Except when I had to report to Captain Pierce." "Thank you, Walter." "Aw, it wasn't anything." "How do you feel?" BJ asked, drawing her gaze to him. For a moment, he felt a strange pull towards her, but he looked away and checked the dressing on her leg. Her eyes closed off as she studied him. "Who, may I ask, is wondering?" "Oh, excuse me. I'm Doctor Hunnicut, and this is Hawkeye Pierce, also a doctor and our commanding officer." Her eyes widened in surprise at the introduction. BJ raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Oh, yes. I seem to be feeling quite well, Doctor. How should I be doing?" "You'll be fine. I patched up that leg, and in a little while it'll be as good as new." "You hear that? You can walk again real soon." Radar interrupted, grinning happily. "Thank you, Doctor. It is much appreciated." "Well, now that the preliminaries are over, let's get down to business. Who are you?" BJ asked, arms folded. "What do you mean?" She asked cautiously. Radar patted her hand and smiled. "He just wants to know your name, Ma'am. We couldn't find an ID for you." "Ah. Very well. You can call me Aphasia." BJ snickered and even the enraptured Hawkeye looked amused, but Radar looked at them both in confusion. "What's so funny?" "It appears to be the perfect name for her. Aphasia is a medical term for losing the ability for speech." BJ told Radar, smirking. Radar looked at her in surprise. She smiled self-depreciatingly. "I should have known better than to use that name here. Congratulations, Doctors. You're one of the first to comprehend my little joke. Now what?" She asked in her perfect English. BJ and Radar looked to Hawkeye. He shook his head and tried to think clearly. "Well, since you'll need to be off your feet for a while, and you have to be held in a secure location, you can be our VIP. You'll have the best accommodations in camp." "A secure location?" Radar asked, confused once again. Aphasia caught his questioning gaze and attempted to explain. "They think I'm a spy, Radar. So, they must keep me confined. It is regulations. Correct, Captain Hunnicut?" She said, turning to pin him with her twin lasers. Feeling like a deer in the headlights, BJ could only nod guiltily. She swung her feet off the bed and attempted to stand. As soon as she put weight on her injured leg, a spasm of pain shot through her. Her only visible indication was a hand stretched towards Radar. "If you would be so kind as to help me to my tent?" She asked regally, the tightness in her voice a testament to the waves of agony radiating from her leg. "Oh, sure! Let me help you." Radar said, running to her side. Hawkeye and BJ watched as Aphasia and Radar limped towards the VIP tent. * * * The sun had set, and Hawkeye's responsibilities at the hospital had faded to the occasional check of vitals. He could avoid his duties no longer. With BJ's gentle persuasion, he walked to the VIP tent like a man on death row. He wasn't Army. What was he doing? Interrogate that beautiful creature? He could barely bring himself to speak in her presence. He hadn't had a reaction to a woman like this since Her. He remembered what had happened to that. He had no wish to repeat his mistake, no wish to have another woman haunt his thoughts, poisoning every relationship he tried to begin. He steeled himself to handle this situation with military precision. Entering the VIP tent with barely a knock, Hawkeye dismissed Radar. Radar started to argue, but a cold look from Pierce and an affirming nod from Aphasia sent him on his way. When they were finally alone, Pierce flipped around the chair Radar had been sitting in and leaned his arms on the backrest. Aphasia swung her feet over the edge of the bed to face him. "So, it begins." She said. "Been through this before, have you?" "More times than you could know. Name, rank and serial number?" She asked with a sad smile. Hawkeye didn't react. "Yes." "My name is Aphasia, no rank, no number." "Your real name, rank, and serial number, please." "I concede that Aphasia is merely a nickname, but, then, I doubt Hawkeye is your real name. Last of the Mohicans?" Hawkeye looked up in surprise. "You've read it?" "Of course, but you're avoiding the question. What shall I call you? I doubt you like Captain any more than I do." "If you must know, my name is Benjamin Franklin Pierce, of the Maine Pierce's. Hawkeye is a nickname my father gave me." "And everyone calls you by this name, correct?" "Yes. But hold on! Who's interrogating who?" "I apologize, please continue." "Name, rank and serial number." "Benjamin Franklin, a very interesting man. I once read that he had dozens of mistresses. I have a feeling you take after him in that manner." "Answer the question." "I have. I respectfully refuse to tell you any more." He rose from his chair to pace in front of her. "Look, I'm new at this, so will you help me out? Can you tell me something?" "I can tell you nothing." She looked down and twisted her hands. He stopped as he saw her wipe at her eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, kneeling in front of her. She looked up, eyes glistening. "You are new at this, and I am sad. I had hoped to stay here for a little while, but, because you are inexperienced and I am unable to tell you anything, they will come again." "They?" "The CIA. I have escaped from them once. I will not have the good fortune to do so again." "Are they the ones that hurt you?" He asked, holding her wrist. She pulled away, a little too quickly to be casual. "Yes." "It doesn't matter who you are, they can't do that." He shook his head angrily. "That is why I ran. I don't know where I was going. I just ran. I was hurt and I saw the red cross on your building. I was going to steal some penicillin, maybe some bandages. Then I saw Walter. He was kind to his animals, soft spoken. I felt I could trust him. Besides, the lock on the supply room is really hard to pick." She said with an ironic smile. His smile matched hers. One of his eyes was covered by an errant lock of raven hair, and she brushed her fingers across his forehead to tuck it back. The touch was electric. He leaned forward, into her hand, and their lips met. He had kissed a great many girls, but none matched this. It was like they were one; forming and melding, melting into, through, and beyond each other. Both of their eyes were closed, but somehow they could see. She leaned back onto the bed and he followed, their kiss deepening. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close. He slid one arm around, reaching for the buttons on her shirt, and brushed against her ribs. She cried and jerked back, falling off the bed and backing into the corner. She hugged herself and tucked her head down, protecting her chest and face. Hawkeye sat on the bed for a moment in shock. He felt as if half of him had just been ripped away, and he didn't understand why. Rising from the bed, he walked towards her. He bent over her and touched her shoulder. She winced and tucked tighter into herself. "Aphasia, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." "You think you're smart?" She rasped bitterly, hiding her face. "Huh?" "You're not the first to try that trick. I didn't fall for it the first time; I won't fall for it now." "Trick? Aphasia, it wasn't a trick. I didn't mean for it to happen." "Sure." "Really. Look, I understand how you could think... But I'll prove it to you. If you didn't feel anything, you tell me and I'll leave. I'll get someone else to talk to you. Maybe one of the nurses. I'm not going to hurt you." "Leave." She said coldly. Hawkeye pulled back, stunned. He couldn't believe she hadn't felt any of that. Crushed, he started towards the exit, head hanging. He stopped at the door, fighting the impulse to look back. He pushed the door open and stepped out. "Ben." She said firmly. He turned. She stood in the corner, arms wrapped around herself. "Yes?" "I lied." He stepped back in and let the door swing shut behind him. * * * The dawn came faster than expected, turning the dark tent into a warm green cocoon. The man and the woman lay comfortably on the bed, her head on his chest. She broke the companionable silence with a question. "Are you awake?" "Mmm hmm." "Have you ever been in love?" She asked, eyes on the ceiling. Hawkeye paused before he answered. "Yes, once." "What happened?" "She left. She haunts my thoughts." "So, you will not love again?" Hawkeye looked over at Aphasia in bed next to him. "I think, with you, I could." "No. You cannot." She said firmly. "What? Why not?" He asked, propping himself up on his elbows and looking over at her. "I do not want to haunt your thoughts." A knock on the door startled both of them. "Fasia? It's me, Walter. Are you awake?" At the sound of Radar's voice, even Hawkeye had the decency to feel guilty. Somehow, sleeping with the person you're supposed to be interrogating is frowned upon. Scrambling out of the bed, Hawkeye straitened his clothes and tried to look like he hadn't spent the night there. "Come in, Walter." Aphasia said when Hawkeye was done primping. Radar opened the door with one foot, sliding into the room with a tray of food. "I brought you breakfast. I hope you like..." Radar faded as he saw Hawkeye. Pierce didn't meet his eyes as he opened the door. "Thank you for the information. I'll be back this afternoon." He said as he slipped out the door. * * * Hawkeye checked on his patients, and then made his way home to the Swamp. He was greeted by two unsmiling faces. Radar and BJ stood in identical poses, arms crossed and faces set. "What's up, guys?" "Where did you sleep last night?" "If you must know, I was with one of the girls." "Which one?" "A gentleman does not kiss and tell." "Since when? Hawkeye, you spent the night with her, didn't you? "Who her?" "Don't play cute. Radar saw you in her tent this morning. Don't tell me you made an early interrogation visit." "Okay, I won't tell you." "You want me to punch him?" Radar interjected, fists raised. "You'd need a stepladder." Hawkeye said, pulling out his shaving kit. "She's a spy, Hawkeye! How could you get involved with her?" BJ said, ignoring them. "Nothing happened! Besides, what business is it of yours?" "You're the commanding officer! How can you sleep with the enemy and expect no one to notice?" "Leave me alone! I love her!" Hawkeye paled as he said the words, collapsing back into his cot. He covered his eyes with his arm. "I love her." He whispered, realizing what had emerged. BJ and Radar looked at him incredulously. "Love her? Hawkeye, you barely know her! She won't even tell us her real name! Or did you forget that little fact in the heat of, whatever it was you were in the heat of?" BJ screamed at him. "Besides, I found her first!" Radar interrupted, prepared to fight for his claim. BJ and Hawkeye gave him identical looks of disbelief. "She's not some pet that followed you home, and she's not a hot new nurse! She's a spy, and I suggest that neither of you forget it!" BJ cried, stomping to the door. "She's off limits to both of you! From now on, Klinger and I will be the only ones to have contact with her! Understood?" BJ said as he slammed the door behind him and stormed off towards the VIP tent. He reached her door and knocked harshly. Without waiting for an invitation, he strode in. She was brushing her hair, her back to him. He flushed and spun around when he saw her bare back and realized she didn't have a shirt on. "Excuse me, I didn't expect..." "It's quite alright." She said, and he could hear rustling. Her small hand touched his shoulder and he turned. She was fully dressed once more, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "You must have come here for a reason." She said, gesturing towards the chair as she limped back to her cot. He took a seat and folded his hands in front of him. "You're causing quite a bit of trouble around here." "Captain, if you will forgive me, you are married?" "Yes I am." He said, surprised. "You love her very much." She stated, certain. "Yes, yes I do." His voice softened, thinking about Peggy. "Good. Ben will not be jealous." BJ looked at her in confusion, and then it dawned on him who she was talking about. "Hawkeye? You call him Ben? He lets you?" "Yes. It is his true name, is it not?" "Yah, but I've never heard him let anyone call him Ben." BJ shook his head, amazed at the power this woman had on Hawkeye. Then he remembered the topic at hand. "He spent the night with you, didn't he?" "Yes." She answered, unflustered. BJ stood and paced in front of her. "Do you have any idea how much trouble he could get into for this? Do you care?" "Trouble? We did nothing wrong." "Maybe wherever you come from that's true, but an officer in the US Army having sex with a spy he's interrogating is not exactly regulations!" "Sex? No, he slept with me." She said, looking curiously at the man jumping to conclusions. BJ stopped short, mouth hanging in astonishment. "You mean he spent the entire night with you and didn't make a move?" "We kissed, but then... something happened. He stayed with me. That's all." "But, but he's Hawkeye, and he said he loved you..." BJ trailed off, sitting down to adjust his thoughts around the facts coming to light. Aphasia groaned. Covering her face with her hands, she shook her head. "What?" BJ asked worriedly. "Oh, no. I told him not to!" She whispered. "Not to what?" BJ asked, voice rising. "Not to fall in love with me!" "Huh?" "I don't want to hurt him again." "Somehow, I think it's a little late for that. Besides, you've got bigger things to worry about." She looked up anxiously, and BJ smiled. "Radar's in love with you, too." "Walter? Oh, no!" She said, chuckling. "Oh, yes. I think he was seriously going to deck Hawkeye this morning." BJ said, standing. "I've got to go now. Thanks for telling me what happened. I'm going to have Klinger stay with you. He's a nice guy, and married, too, so no worries." "Thank you, Captain." "You're welcome. Hey, maybe you can talk to Radar? Explain a few things?" "And Ben. I'll do my best." "Hey, that's all you can do!" BJ said setting off happily, much relieved. * * * Aphasia and Klinger hit it off right away. She loved the colorful clothing he wore, and he loved a clean slate to play dress up with. "How about this color, Max?" "No, too pink. It needs to set off your hair. Ah, this is it!" He cried, pulling out a couple of yards of satiny emerald fabric. "Oh! It's beautiful!" "A beautiful color, for a beautiful woman." "Oh, Max, you're so sweet. Are you sure you can make a dress by tonight?" "Sure! The design we picked out is as simple as pie. I'll be done in a snap." "Oh, thank you, Max." She said, fingering the fabric. "Do you think he'll like it?" She asked, hopefully. "He'd have to be blind not to! Besides, I've never had anyone turn down a Klinger Original." He said, grinning as he spun out the door with his arms full. * * * Hawkeye was kept extra busy, running from patient to lab and back again, doing a hundred little tasks that the lowest Private could have done. He should have been riled at the treatment, but every time his anger flared, Aphasia's face swam before his eyes. Besides, ever since he got her note, delivered personally by a grinning BJ, he'd been floating on air. Funny how a few words could change an entire day. Dearest Ben, I would be very pleased if you would accompany me to the mess tent this evening at 2300 hours. Most Sincerely, Aphasia He sighed again reading the words. When he was finally relieved at 2200 hours, he scrambled to get ready in time. Hopping into the shower, he scrubbed in record time and practically flew to the Swamp. He hadn't felt this anxious since Prom night. As he walked into the tent, he was greeted by an unfamiliar sight. A very tidy tent and a smartly dressed BJ awaited him. "What's going on?" Hawkeye asked as he pulled on the belt of his robe, feeling underdressed. BJ slid to the side and revealed a tuxedo, complete with black tie. "You can't go in a dirty uniform, and this just came back from the cleaners, so..." BJ trailed off, grinning. Hawkeye's mouth hung open. "But, but I can't wear boots..." "Never fear, Radar was here!" BJ said pulling out a pair of wingtip shoes from under the cot. As Hawkeye got dressed, BJ fiddled with something in the corner. Hawkeye combed his hair over and straitened his collar. Turning to BJ, he asked the inevitable question. "How do I look?" "Hmm... You're missing something." "What? I've got the tie, the shoes, I shaved. What else?" With a flourish, BJ tucked a paper flower into his lapel. "Ah ha, you're complete." Hawkeye looked down at the flower critically. "It's the first flower I've ever seen in that particular shade of blue." "You can thank Klinger for that. He said, and I quote, 'It'll set off his eyes.' End quote." "Oh, forbid it that I disagree with color coordinator Klinger, the man of the famed powder blue overcoat." "Shut up and get moving. You're going to be late for your date." "Why do I feel like this is a set up?" "Probably because it is. Get moving." BJ said as he pushed him towards the door. The walk to the VIP tent was silent and nerve-wracking. Hawkeye had hoped for an interruption, someone to comment on his outfit, something to break the tightly wound feeling in his chest. Instead, an eerie silence filled the camp. Hawkeye wondered if BJ hadn't confined everyone to quarters for the night. Reaching the door, Hawkeye swallowed hard and knocked. He straitened his jacket again, and heard a faint rustling from inside the tent. The door opened. He usually hated the color green, but the emerald gown she wore was as close to Army green as a butterfly was to a moth. It set off her complexion perfectly, accentuating the auburn glow of her hair and making her ivory skin glow in the dim light of the moon. The dress was long and low cut, but not immodest. It showed just enough skin to make him swallow before he spoke. "My lady." He said, bowing to her with a flourish. "Ben." She whispered, looking him over appreciatively. "You look wonderful." She said as she met his eyes. "That's my line." He whispered, moving closer to her. "Ahem." A throat cleared loudly and they turned to look. BJ held the door of the mess tent open, looking dapper in his white suit. "Ah, I see dinner awaits." Hawkeye said, offering her his arm. She grasped it and they walked towards the tent slowly. Entering the tent, they both looked around in amazement. "This isn't the way you always eat?" Aphasia whispered, astonished. "Not hardly!" Hawkeye said, equally awed. A lone table sat next to the wall, white tablecloth draped aesthetically. Twin candles provided ambiance, and the tin plates and silverware had been shined to within an inch of their life. BJ showed them to their table. "Ma'am." He said, pulling out her seat. She nodded her thanks. Hawkeye opened his mouth to ask one of the thousand questions that were spinning around his brain, but BJ put his finger to his lips and walked out. "My, they're pulling out all the plugs." Hawkeye said, smiling at his date. She looked over his shoulder. "Oh, no!" She said, laughing. Klinger came to their table, a wine bottle in his hand. "May I offer you the house wine? 1951, an excellent year." Klinger asked, holding the bottle like a professional. Hawkeye affected an English accent. "Why, that sounds delightful, my good man. Two glasses and leave the bottle!" Max grinned and winked at Aphasia, pouring the wine. Before they could take a sip, Radar came to the table, pen and pad ready. "Hello, Sir, Madam. Can I interest you in our specialty this evening? A nice thick Spam steak accompanied by a pasta dish." "That sounds delightful." Hawkeye said as Aphasia nodded. "We'll both have the special, medium rare." "Coming right up, Sir!" Radar said, scrambling back towards the kitchen. "And to think, this morning he was ready to tear my head off." Hawkeye said, spreading his napkin on his lap. "Yes, he and I had quite a talk. I think he understands." Aphasia said sadly. "I hope so." Hawkeye said amorously. Aphasia looked up from her lap. "Hawkeye, I..." He cut her off, raising his glass. "To today." She swallowed her words and raised her glass to meet his. "To today." The glasses touched with a clink and they drank. * * * *Games, changes and fears Where will they go from here? When will they stop? I believe that fate has brought us here And we should be together, babe But we’re not I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you And I’ll try to keep my cool, but I’m feenin’ I try to say goodbye and I choke Try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it’s clear My world crumbles when you are not here I may appear to be free But I’m just a prisoner of your love And I may seem alright and smile when you leave But my smiles are just a front Just a front, hey I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you And I’ll try to keep my cool, but I’m feenin’ I try to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it’s clear My world crumbles when you are not here Here is my confession May I be your possession? Boy, I need your touch Your love, kisses and such With all my might I try But this I can’t deny Deny I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you But I’m dreaming of you babe And I’ll keep my cool, but I’m feenin’ I try to say goodbye and I choke Try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide, it’s clear My world crumbles when you are not near When you are not near I try to say goodbye and I choke I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it’s clear My world crumbles when you are not here Goodbye and I choke, I’m choking I try to walk away and I stumble Though I try to hide it, it’s clear My world crumbles when you are not near When you are not near Yeah, yeah...* (I Try- Macy Gray) * * * After a delightful dinner of Spam, macaroni and cheese, and a cup of red Jell-O for dessert, Radar cleaned off the table, and BJ started the record player. Hawkeye and Aphasia had talked of inconsequentials, avoiding the issue between them. When the music started, Hawkeye saw yet another way to avoid the unspoken words. He stood and walked to her side. "Would you care to dance?" He asked regally, bowing before her and holding out his hand. "I'd love to." Her face fell as she looked down at her leg, hidden beneath the fabric of her dress. "I can't." She said, disappointed. Hawkeye's grin didn't waiver. "Trust me." He said. She looked up at him, curiosity in her eyes, as she allowed him to help her to stand. He bent down and swept her into his arms. She clung to his neck for a moment, unsure if he could carry her without dropping her. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes and looked into his, eye level for the first time. She kissed him, and, as they broke apart, he began to sway to the music. She leaned her head against his shoulder and held him tight as they swept across the dance floor. *The way you wear your hat The way you sip your tea The memory of all that No, no they can't take that away from me The way your smile just beams The way you sing off-key The way you haunt my dreams No, no they can't take that away from me We may never meet again, on that bumpy road to love Still I'll always, always keep the memory of The way you hold your knife The way we dance till three The way you change my life No, no they can't take that away from me No they can't take that away from me* (They Can't Take That Away From Me- Frank Sinatra) The guys had gone to bed some time ago and the music had ended, but Hawkeye and Aphasia still swayed to the music in their hearts. Hawkeye slowed and stopped. Aphasia raised her head from his shoulder. He set her down gently, and kneeled on one knee in front of her. "Will you marry me?" "I thought you didn't believe in marriage." "I didn't." "Who would marry us? You an officer, me a woman without a name." "Father Mulcahy owes me a few favors. Anyway, he'll love an opportunity to do something besides the last rites. So, will you?" "Yes. But you know they will come for me." "I'd rather spend a day married to you than a lifetime with anyone else. I love you." "I love you, Ben." She said, slipping to the floor beside him. They kissed until the sun illuminated the mess tent. Still holding her, Hawkeye whispered in her ear. "We better get you home. Your father's likely to kill me." "Not when I tell him we're engaged." She whispered back, smiling. They stood and walked back to her tent, enjoying the cool morning air and each other's presence. "Shall we set a date?" Hawkeye asked, leaning against the door of the VIP tent. "How about this afternoon? That is, if I can get another Klinger Original and you can find a priest in time." "Wild horses couldn't stop us. Until then, mon cherie." Hawkeye said, kissing her hand. "Until then, Ben." She said coyly, slipping into the tent and shutting the door behind her. * * * An hour later, Klinger came barging into the tent. "I hear you need my services!" He cried happily, pulling out one delicate fabric after another. "I never thought I'd have an opportunity to design a wedding dress, but here we are!" "How did you hear so quickly?" Aphasia asked, amazed. "Ah, the hotline. Father Mulcahy is the biggest blabbermouth you ever saw, until it comes to confessions that is. I've got to work fast if it's going to be ready by tonight. It may not be my fanciest gown, but it'll get the job done. This is the color." He said, pulling out the palest sea green fabric she had ever seen. "It's not white, but it'll do!" "It will be beautiful, Max. Thank you." * * * Hawkeye cleaned up his tux, polished his shoes, and bought a tiny gold ring from the local merchant. The shoes were on their third polish when BJ came in. "You're going to wear the tux? Why not your dress uniform?" "If I'm getting married, I'm getting married as me, not as some dolled up toy soldier. By the way, will you be my best man?" "No can do, Hawk." "What? Why not?" "I'm giving the bride away." "Ah, and the part of the angry father will be played by BJ Hunnicut." "Yep. So who you going to ask?" "Well, I can't ask Father Mulcahy, he's marrying us..." "And you can't ask Klinger because he's the Matron of Honor." "No!" "Oh, yes." "So who does that leave me? I could ask Hot Lips..." "She'd kill you for suggesting it." "Or Radar." "Ah, there you go. Perfect! The Best Man is always in love with the Bride." "Now what?" Pierce asked when he heard a knock on his door. Radar came in. "Ah, Radar, just the, ahem, man I wanted to see!" "Um, Sir, there's some MPs and a CIA agent here. They asked to see the commanding officer. They're waiting for you in the office." Hawkeye and BJ had twin looks of surprise and shock. "Oh my God! They know! How could they know? Is the communications silence broken?" "No, Sir. Still as silent as a church on Monday." "They must be combing the area." BJ said logically. "We've got to hide Aphasia! No one's told her yet, right?" "Well, Klinger was there and he took off towards her tent..." Radar said. "I've got to talk to her!" Hawkeye shouted as he ran out the door. * * * *Let's talk this over It's not like we're dead Was it something I did? Was it something you said? Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead Held up so high On such a breakable thread You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending You've got your dumb friends I know what they say They tell you I'm difficult But so are they But they don't know me Do they even know you? All the things you hide from me All the stuff that you do You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending It's nice to know that you were there Thanks for acting like you cared And making me feel like I was the only one It's nice to know we had it all Thanks for watching as I fall And letting me know we were done You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending* (Avril Lavigne - (So Much For) My Happy Ending) * * * Stumbling into Aphasia's tent, Hawkeye caught her writing something, a small backpack on her shoulders. "Ben." She said, dropping the note and turning. "You were just going to leave? Without even saying goodbye?" Hawkeye asked angrily. "I was writing you a note. And, yes, I am leaving. I have to, don't you understand?" "No! I don't understand! How could you tell me you love me, and then leave like this?" "I told you this day would come. They have come for me, and I will not get captured again. Not even for you." "They don't know you're here! We could hide you until they left..." "And then what, Ben? Hide me from your Colonel? Hide me for the rest of our lives? No. I shouldn't have stayed here with you in the first place. I think it is good they have come now, before I, too, would haunt your thoughts." She said, pushing past him and limping out the door. "How far will you get on that leg? A mile? Two? Then what?" "I don't know, Ben. I just know I have to leave, now." She said, turning her back to him and limping away into the tall grass. Hawkeye just stood there, numb. Radar came running up to him. "Sir! Sir! Where's Aphasia?" Radar asked, holding on to his hat with one hand. Hawkeye pointed halfheartedly towards the grass. "Oh, no! They said they weren't waiting anymore, so they went to search the surrounding area! You've got to stop her!" Hawkeye's heart leapt into his throat, and he went barreling down the path he'd seen her take. He ran faster than he thought possible, sure he'd overtake her limping path. A scream of terror and a shot pumped his legs full of life-giving blood. He leapt over every obstacle, finally sliding to a halt in a clearing. * * * Aphasia lie like a broken doll in the dirt, a CIA man several feet beyond her, gun still smoking. She was shot. Hawkeye ran to her side, cradling her head in his lap as he pressed his palm against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. "You'll be okay. I can fix this in a heartbeat. You'll be fine." "You are a terrible liar. At least, I will not haunt your thoughts..." She whispered. "Only my dreams." He responded, kissing her. As he pulled away, her fingers brushed his hair back from his forehead, then fell limply to the ground, leaving a streak of red behind. He sobbed as the blood no longer pulsed against his hand. The CIA man came towards them. Standing by her body, he looked down at Hawkeye. "You know her?" He asked roughly. Hawkeye could only nod. "Who did she say she was? Aphasia again, or did she use another name this time? Filthy Commie." The CIA man spat. Hawkeye looked up, anger darkening his eyes. "Commie? A Commie! That's all she was to you? Not a person? Not a woman? Just a Commie?! Oh, it's alright to shoot her, she's only a Commie! Is that what you thought? Damn you! Damn you all! I loved her! Does that mean anything to you?! She'd been nothing but kind, and how do you repay her? You kill her! And what was her crime? Did she do anything, or because she refused to tell her name, she's automatically guilty? That's the Army's justice? Guilty until proven innocent?" Hawkeye screamed, rising to confront the man. Radar and BJ broke though the grass and into the clearing. The entire scene lay before them, its truth plain. Radar couldn't look away from her still face, looking so peaceful he could almost imagine she had fallen asleep. The puddle of dark liquid surrounding her shattered the illusion. BJ went to comfort his friend, but the CIA man got there first. BJ's ire rose as he heard the man's insensitive words. It wasn't a surprise when Hawkeye rose angrily, and, although he wished he could let him go, BJ grabbed Hawkeye's arm to stop him. He spun, angered, and threw a punch. BJ ducked and pinned Hawkeye's arms behind his back. "Let me go! I'm going to kill him! Let me go!" "No. It won't bring her back! Hawkeye, do you think she would want you in their hands? If you attack him, that's what will happen!" "I don't care! He killed her!" "I know, I know. Ben, don't do this." Hawkeye froze at his name. BJ let him free. "Hawk..." Hawkeye refused to look at him. He bent over her body, combing his fingers through her hair. "Get out of here, Hunnicut, and never call me that again." Hawkeye rasped, never looking up. "Hawkeye..." BJ got no response. He sighed and shook his head. "Come on." He said to the CIA man. "I can't leave my prisoner." "She's dead. She's not going anywhere. Come on." BJ said, gesturing towards camp. The CIA man shrugged and went ahead. Radar was still frozen to his spot. "Come on, Radar. Let's go home." "She's..." "She's gone, Radar." Tears streamed down Radar's face as he turned away. BJ put his arm around his shoulder, a tear slipping down his face as well. * * * Two weeks later, Hawkeye raised his glass in a toast. "To Aphasia." "Here, here." BJ, Radar, Klinger, Margaret, Father Mulcahy, and Potter cheered. "Even though I never met her, I feel like she was one of the family. Goodbye Aphasia." Potter said. After everyone had left, BJ sat down next to Hawkeye, bumping him with his shoulder. "Is it time?" "Yep. They're burying her now. My dad's there, you know." "It was good of you to send her home." "She was almost my wife, after all." Hawkeye whispered, fingering the tiny gold ring encircling his pinky. "What did you have them put on the stone?" "Her name." "We never knew her name." BJ said, confused. "I gave her mine." Hawkeye said, looking up at his friend. "Oh. Let's have a proper toast, then." "Yes. To Aphasia Benjamin Pierce." Hawkeye said, a tear running down his face. "Here, here." *Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that will make it okay There's always some reason to feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction or a beautiful release Memories seep from my veins Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back The storm keeps on twisting; you keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here* (Sarah McLachlan – Angel) *End*