Sunday 27th of July - Well followers it is 1:47 on sunday morning and i have had a quiet night at home. Just checking up to see how my Hero Lance Armstrong went in the time trial today at the Tour De France. He sealed his tour victory up tonight all he need to do is ride gracefully on to the Champs-Elysees. A record equalling 5th straight Tour Victory, he joins illustrious company. Only Miguel indurain is the other rider to of won 5 straight tours which is seen by many as the most gruelling, prestigious event on the sports calender. Other people to of won 5 are Belgian great Eddie Merckx, Spaniard Miguel Indurain and French rider Bernaud Hinault. Anyway enough of that recently i've caught some pretty good filums as the oldies would say. i saw charlies Angels: Full Throttle the other week and it was good. Good for a perve that is Four hot chicks in one movie i don't think you could ask for more. Demi Moore the worlds most famous Sugar Momma is totally hot and she almost knock Cameron Diaz off for hottest chick in the film. Well it just ticked past 2:00 am. I'm buggered so i guess its Adios Amigo's
Thursday 5th Of June - Well children i really haven't got much to say other than that i am extremely proud to announce the birth of my first child. Na only joking i'm talking about the arrival of my set of wheels which has been dubbed the Super Ghost. Its my beast but it already has its fair share of rivals such as Bethy D's pup, Maxy Hardcore's Extreme Machine, Sammy Wayth's Queer Lancer and Dayzos' Shitbox Skyline. I've already formed a gang with Maxy Hardcore as its quiet clear our VL gang will rule the roads of lonny and cliff. Enough said catch y'all later.
Monday 12th of May - This is by far the longest stretch i've gone without updating the old website. To my loyal fans i'm deeply sorry. Well over the last two and a bit months i've obtained a drivers license, my arrogant ex mate sam wayth turned 18, as did young bethy d and MAXY HARDCORE congrats to them. Hmmmm let me see i hear on the grapevine that young Timmy solomon is planning to hold a massive at his house everyone in lonny is invited. Over the school holidays Finna and Rhyno made glorious returns to the field of battle known as lonny. Where-as Phiddy made a not so glorious return having a cry and goin back to uni. Shout out to rogo who celebrated his 17th on the weekend just passed. Just recently i caught botzwah's return return gig which was absolutely wicked with ralph at his absolute growling best and withers blowing everyone away with his excellent work with axe in hand. I also managed to see two excellent movies X-men 2 and Ned Kelly they were both good. Well hopefully i will update my sight more often than every couple of months depends on the event factor.Ciao everybody.
Thursday the 27th of February - It's been a while my faithful followers but i am back. Fucking Queenscliff its so fucking boring. I've been bored outta my fucking brains. As of late the Jackass craze has caught on amongst the boys and a lot of funny footage has been caught on camera such wayth face planting the sand as he was shoved of the cliff top in lonny. Bunnywoods was a good night on the saturday just passed lots of funny shit such as D-Boy nailing some grommy punk bitch with a slap to the head which resulted in a knockout. Darren's yelling of COPS, COPS, COPS, COPS which sent everyone bolting including Werry made me laugh. I was looking for a fight but no grommy's like fighting.
Steve-O in all his glory.
Today i went and caught JACKASS : THE MOVIE which was absolutely fucking hilarious. Highlight of the movie was Steve-O doin the tight-rope walk across a pit of aligators with chicken stuffed down his trademark Cheetah Jocks. Ryan Dunn provides two highlights first being knocked out by a girl and then the Butt X-Ray in which prior to getting the x-ray he shoves a toy car up his arse which leaves the doctor dumbfounded. Well anyway crew peace out until next time.
Thursday the 23rd of January - Not much has happened as of late so I avoided updating so i could put a lengthy report up. On tight arse tuesday i went and saw 8 Mile, Eminem's debut effort as an actor. He did a great job in the movie based loosely upon him for a first up effort. He plays Jimmy "Rabbit" Smith jr in the movie and the movie is about his life on the worng side of 8 mile road in Detroit. Funniest moment in the movie well there are three candidates for this honour. First would be when a member of rabbit's crew (3-1-3) Cheddar Bob pulls a gun on a rival group who's name is Free World he goes to put the gun away and accidentally pulls the trigger shooting himself in the leg much to the mirth of the homies from Free World. Second would be when Rabbit is talking to his mum who is played by Kim Basinger and she tell him the she and her boyfriend are having trouble and the trouble is that he wont go down on her. Third would be when rabbit is battling against the leader of the free world and rabbit reveals some information about the Free World leader that his name is really Clarence and that he went to a private school. My personal highlight of the movie was seeing rabbit and Xzibit battling in the lunch line at work. Rabbit whoops the X man's arse freestyling. Kind of reminded me of the great freestyle battle between Lonny's two hottest MC's Jazzy Joe P and MC Finna. Although Jazzy put in a poor performance he still is as good as anyone on the local rap scene. Rumours of MC Finna being signed to Shady Records have been heightened after his victory over DJ Fandangle at a recent battle held on the lawns of Whale dawg's house. Eminem and Dr Dre have both caught wind of MC Finna's superb talent to freestyle some even say he may be the white version of Tupac Shakur. Anyway getting back to 8 mile it was a good movie all round eminem even got some pun during the film off the very hot brittany murphy. I was told to tell people to stay tuned for an announcement on an upcoming freestyle rap show. Entry into the event will be free with the winner being signed to Fluffy Duck records. Well the show is still in the works expect it to be fiercely competitive my prediction to take out the deal will be MC Finna. Well bubye for now kids.
Friday the 10th of January - Well faithful followers sorry about the lengthy absence. I've been busy working and haven't had time to update the old website but never fear all your favourite parts of my website have been updated as of today. The jokes section will now be a quotes page as i will search the internet looking for inspirational quotes by famous people. I will however keep the backyard cricket rules up for all those people who have conflicts as to what the official rules are. In my absence from writing this column my birthday, christmas and new years has all passed. Im not a fan of all the girls calling me old and im only 19 its BULLSHIT. New Years was chocka block with amazing events started at allbutt's drinking there then moved to james' grandparents house where we were playing playstation 2 smashed off our heads and then i went to the pub whilst james and sam thought they'd drive along the bike track when the were pissed which resulted in them busting a huge hole in the sump of james' grandma's car. At the pub i just got blind i spent about $50 which is huge for me considering that i spent it all on beer. Well last saturday had to be the best day in the pub for a long time with an abundance of fine ladies such as sal and ellis(i think thats how you spell it) both very fine ladies. Wondong's sister also making an appearance which was a crowd pleaser. Talking to two very nice girls lily and erin who are very nice however lily and withers were the only ones to live up to there side of the bargain by coming and getting some free ice-cream. Well on tight-arse tuesday the combi van crew plus some others went to the movies to catch the new Lord od The Rings movie. Three and a half hours of action packed cinema personal highlights was gimli actually not being a gimp in this latest instalment. Also i believe Legolas has become a huge star along with Aragorn. Legolas and Gimli's battle to see who could kill the most uruk hai soldiers gimli thinks he's good for killing 2 soldiers but when legolas tells him that hes killed 17 is funny. Well thats about all for me for now once again sorry for the lateness of my updation but i will try to keep you all up to date on happening things.
Wednesday the 18th of December - Well my faithful children i've been busy buying presents the last few days for christmas. And today as i was waiting for the bus in town Douglas Quayle QC approached me and got me into conversation. This conversation produced an all time great quotes from Douglas during the numerous grunts and his telling me of his love for Aaron Jones he dropped this absolute pearler "Well young Scott I can't believe the amount of weirdo's and freaks around Geelong" it was a struggle but i fought back a bout of laughter. Now for those of you who are familiar with Douglas you can understand that this has to be one of the greatest calls ever from him. Well it's a busy time of the year for birthday's coming up we have my 19th, Finna's 18th and Aaron's 17th rather eventful next couple of weeks. Well thats it for now i bid you farewell. P.S Also if anyone has any pictures of Aidy Thom please send them to me as i am currently in the process of creating a look-a-likes page for my site. in Aidy's case i have a pictures from the vault at ABC headquarters of Spotty from the show Superted i just need a picture of Aidy and everything should be right then.
Sunday the 15th of December - Children of the korn big news this week I must tell you to buy tickets to Kostya Tzu's world title fight in January as two fucking huge matches have been added to the undercard late last night. After a huge session at Great One's it was announced that Great One(Bj) will face off against the Siberian Express (or "Death From Above" as the media have dubbed him) himself the great Aidy "Dolph Lundgren" Thom in one of the greatest bouts ever to grace the squared circle. Yes these two combatants may be brothers but rivalry between these goliaths runs deep. Although the fire between these two has layed dorment for a while now the match was made official last night after a Rocky 5 style street fight between the brothers. Both come away with a few nicks and scars bj copping a fat lip and aidy losing his very precious fox t-shirt which left the big man mentally scarred. Word from aidys trainers is that he is not normal where a normal heavyweight averages about 1200 pounds psi a punch aidy averages 1800 pounds of pressure which led to the quote from his head trainer "Whatever he hits he destroys". Also during one of Dolph's public training sessions it has been witnessed that he is using the heaviest bag possible and he is hitting it so hard he is leaving dents in the the Heavy Bag(Much like Foreman before his fight with Ali Rumble In The Jungle). But as we have seen in Rocky 4 power of a punch has nothing on Heart and Bj "great one" Thom is seemingly all ticker. Born and bred on the mean streets of Lonny he's done everything the hard way he trains alone. He reminds me of a young Clubber Lang circa Rocky 3 he was hungry for the title and he got it. People who have been in the ring with Great One say he is like a piece of steel or energiser bunny he just keeps on coming. Well thats enough on that fight it should be a good old fashioned slug-fest well worth the admission price.
The other fight added to the under card last night was a different kind of fight it was a spit-fight between Tim "Selwyn" Norton (no relation to the Ken Norton who flogged the Great Muhammad Ali actually he could be) and Luke "Zaab Judah" Sim (also known as Doye). After another spit-fight (Street Style) last night between these two after doye dominated early he was controversially judged to be outside of the ring. Running out of spit doye was being beaten down with a hail of spit from Selwyn the bout was ended controversially again but it was decided there that they would face off in front of 50,000+ people at Telstra Dome as a precursor to the fight between Kostya Tzu and "Jesse" James Leija. Rumour has that doye has starte a tough training regime under the watchful eye of another fighter on the undercard the man who holds the world record for the fastest TKO and one tough Mother Fucker Jimmy Thunder. Training under this man will be tough but i see that it will improve doye's fitness and he should hand down a good old fashioned arse whuppin to Selwyn. No news as to what sort of training Norton is undergoing but he better be prepared because Doye is hungry for revenge after his controversial DQ last night.
No other news to report now but i will keep you updated on any developments that come to me about these two superbouts. Children Of The Korn Peace Out.
Tuesday the 10th of December - Well children a week has passed since my last news tidbit i let a week pass because i've been waiting for something to happen the only natable thing would have to be our trip to lorne/geelong last thursday night. Partied hard until late i was quiet pissed off with the security at the GH because they barred me at first because of my shoes. Thats right i got barred because of my fucking shoes i mean really who looks at crews shoes. Yeah then a trip home in the POO DART which was very nice. Since then Whale, Allby, Waythy, Jammapow have all left for Queensland. So i am bored shitless for the next week and a bit because none of my mates are around ah well gives me a chance to save some cash. Fuck That. This morning i went to tight arse tuesday at the movies to see crackerjack which was very delightful i thoroughly enjoyed. A good old fashioned aussie laugh fest. Funniest part of the movie had to go to the granny explaining what the swear jar was to Mick Molloy's character Jack Simpson. Her explanation is " It's a jar you put money in when you say words such as Fuck." Cut and thats its for this instalment of News from the lips of Fluffy Duck.
ANTHONY KIEDIS IS A FUCKING LEGEND
Tuesday the 3rd of December - So kids its taken me a while but I finally recovered from the greatest event of my life that being seeing the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS live in concert. I wouldn't of been there had it not been for a fucking legend by the name of JOE PHIDDIAN. Kicked the show off by playing BY THE WAY anyway the concert fuckin rocked but i was disappointed at the end of the night i said to LIMB DOG that they hadn't played under the bridge but then they cruised back out and played it which really pumped the crowd up. The most erotic thing was seeing our homeboy FLEA come out in some stylin puma shoes and socks and white jocks. Personally highlight of the night had to be AARON JONES' attempt to scam his way into the chili bowl but he got stopped and hauled outta there and escorted from the arena, this was even before chili peppers had started. But he was allowed back in an hour later. yeah also the amount of reefer that was being smoked at the concert was unbelievable everyone was in a loving mood. Best song of the night was GIVE IT AWAY which was dedicated to someone. Then the massive road trip home in which i purchased britney spears' latest on tape. Was i pumped fuck oath i was i was seemingly on a high for the next day. I only have two missions left and that is to see METALLICA and AC/DC live after that i can die a happy little vegimite. Well kids thats a wrap from a whirlwind few days. KEEP ON TRUCKING.
Friday the 29th of November - Yeah well kids its been a very uninteresting week for me. At doye's request i haven't put porn up on my site. Happy Birthday to jammapow he celebrated his 18th yesterday and also happy birthday to the phidsta for the 4th of december he is celebrating in style by going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. From what i've heard they the best live band in the world and im pumped up to see them in action. Im in the process of putting up a section devoted to the now defunct series of GLADIATORS for all those people who remember the series it was quiet good. Also in the pipeline is a sex story section ive got a lot of red tape to work through but it should be up by the end of December i invite people to try their hand at writing a story of this nature and send them in to me.Well the final siren just sounded im off.
Tuesday the 26th of November - Sorry kids i didn't live up to my promise of providing an indepth music festival wrap up. Well it may be a little late (pfft 2 days gee get off my back doye) but here it goes well i also missed a fair portion of the weekend due to work and the very over-rated crappadictory dinner for school in my opinion the festival was rather poor. To my knowledge i dont think anyone really got fucked up. Young benny t got his leg sliced open thats about all and the amount of police was unbelievable. Waythy who successfully got blind 2 nights in a row was a huge effort from the kid he also picked up MELONS i dont know who she is but i heard she has massive cans hence the nickname melons. Limb Dog heard the magic words from Primmer on satdy nite of "You stick with me you drink for free" quiet an honour to be bestowed upon the young kid. MMMMM during a quick sojourn to the cricket to see B grade getting shit on on saturday the poo dart made an appearance and out hopped Horsey and Rogo. Horsey donned a pair of red budgie smugglers(speedos) and Rogo was in his boxer well almost. My condolences go to The Experiment (werry) on friday night at the esplanade (which by the way was packed)he rocked up to the door looking to get in seen as thought he was now 18 and of legal age but he got knocked back. This knock back was due to an earlier incident last year in which he was pissed and he needed to relieve himself so instead of going to the park across the road he thought he'd piss on the stairs in the ESPLANADE which resulted in a life ban for the kid. On Saturday night after i arrived back from the valedictory dinner i was cruising in my suit which subsequently resulted in me copping many compliments from people of the female persuasion most notably Ms Reed my former english teacher who is an absolute hotty. AAAAh yes i almost forgot one aidy thom it seems as though i may have an edge over him mentally after learning of his jealousy for adam and how he allegedly smashed dgirl to win the slab from Dboy i took this bit of info and proceeded to destroy aidy mentally and i hear he now resides at nelson park. I got told to stop my tyrade of abuse by some silly bitch (number 8) who only used aidy the stupid fuck for transport around our great little town so due to her havin a pretty good arse i took the big wind up and smacked it as hard as i could which sent a little yell out of her. But i know she really enjoyed it, she wanted more why else would she continually come and talk to me after it. I did it to get rid of her but she wanted me i knew it i'd smash her. Well kids thats stumps for now kids i will resume my innings another day. Oh yeah Best afield at music fest has to go to me for mentally scarring the pilot of the mir space station. But really i'd say young Samuel James Wayth gets best on ground at music fest 2002 for backing up two nights in a row and then on sunday fronting up to work despite feeling a little under the weather. P.S Doye if you read this Hot Shit has been changed to another kind of hot shit if you know what i mean also if you are willing will you please lend your dry wit to my site i will email you the contract.
Monday the 18th of November - Due to exams I haven't updated the site for a while but never fear today i have updated all your favourite sections of my page. I even added a page for you my adoring public to oggle at. I have now finished school and it is less than a week away from music festival im telling you im happier than a dog with 2 dicks at the moment. Fabio is pumped for a huge outing at music fest with the prospect of many bitches mauling him. He has already had many emails from female admirers asking for time alone with the great man during the course of the weekend. He has asked me to pass along a message to his people and that is "Ladies I am only one man and i can only do so much. So ladies wishing to spend time i am allowing groups of women no more than six at a time as i see that as my limit so get in early and book your spot and i trust that after spending at least one minute with myself you can die happy". Well look out ladies fabio will be on the prowl at music fest. Anyway more news will be posted as we move closer to music festival.
Friday the 25th - Our last official day of school yesterday before exams and it brought a tear to the eye. Not the fact that it was our last day but the fact that we now are on holidays permanently so we can get smashed all the time. Went to geelong last night and got absolutely blind surveying the scarce amount of talent on offer. Anyway the night started off well with a few pres at the now famous leopold house and we moved our way into the geelong hotel which was good heaps of punani there. The Clone bitches were being fuckwits as per usual anyway it got to about 2:30 and i was up stairs with limb dogger and he was showin me his latest moves and the bouncers approached i thought they were after me but no they told limby to get the fuck out which was a truely huge cunt act on their behalf. So i left with limby and we roamed and harrassed crew eventually allby and maxy hardcore caught up with us and we cruised for a little longer and then made our way back the leopold house. All in all a good night on the piss im goin to see if i can back it up on satdy nite and get smashed in town again. peace out mutha fuckas.p.s big rumour is that allby after meeting a chick last nite developed a huge case of larry lovenuts stay tuned as i will keep you posted if anythin eventuates.
Monday the 21st - It came to light today that i saw and talked to people at maccas but i clearly have no recollection of talking to these people. Felicity Blakes misses said we were lookin for blake for ages but couldn't find him. Leanne owes blake a show of her ta ta's after blake exposed his nipple to the adoring crowd. Anyway gettin back to mine and Felicity search she walked off and ran back too me sayin that someone was rootin next to the shipping container i took on a superhero type persona and bravely went to see who it was but it was just some sketchy crew dry rooting. Also i took a fall on the dance floor i slid in to bust a move and lost my footing and fell on my arse all very embarrassing. Maccas bash was a huge success from all memory that i have of it. I was fucking blind but people seem to think i didnt seem that pissed mwuhahahahaha those stupid people. I think my brrain is suffering from that large beer intake but oh well. anyway stay tuned for more rumours.
Monorable mention goes to jake wallis who after maccas bash was in his home town of barwon heads ridin to apco and got hit by a car which fucked him up. This all happening at 3 in the morning and the car sped off hence the new nick name "hit and run".
Sunday the 20th - The Aftermath - Welcome to the News & rumours section fresh from maccas 18th no news as of yet as i was way too smashed to remember anything. If anyone has news of what i did please forward it on to me it would be much appreciated. The only thing i remember about maccas is somehow gettin home and watchin letterman and spewin everywhere much to the mirth of my mum who had a laugh but was unimpressed when i informed her she had to clean it up. hehehehe make the bitch know her place. Woke up at 12:30 and had to be at work at 1. It was a major struggle but i got there in the end despite feeling severely dehydrated after a shitload of beer and then damaging the dalton for most of the night as a consequence of the masssive beer intake. Anyway please relay news to me and i will post it as soon as it comes into my hot little hands. Bubye for now Fluffy Duck.
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