a penny for your thoughts...

July 6 [2003], 10:45 PM - Talking to Richard still makes me miss him, but I'm feeling better knowing that he's there when I need him. Well, I talked to my favorite cousin Danny Reiley today. He's been trying to find time to hang out with us so we could have another gamimg day, but he came up with a better idea. Instead, my mom is going to drop me and the sister off at his house Tuesday afternoon. We'll hang out with him, game, whatever, for a while. Later that night, his RPG group is meeting, so we're going to go to that, which should be interesting. A bunch of nerds in the same room! JOY!!! We're going to spend the night and the next day (wednesday) he's going to take us somewhere, but he didn't tell me where because it's a surpise. I'm not worried though. Knowing my cousin, it's going to be somewhere really cool and nerdy. Yes! Other than that, I've really got nothing more to post. I've talked to a lot of friends and they have all tried to cheer me up in some way, which of course helps a lot. Currently listening to: "Oh Lonely Nights" - Code Name: Rocky
Currently talking to online: Richard, Pogue, Amie

July 6 [2003], 5:37 PM - Un autre jour triste pour moi...

Richard told me last night that he would be leaving today at 3, so I figured I might get to spend some time with him before he left (I didn't give my hopes up though). He called me this morning to say he was leaving at 2. I drove over to his house at around 12:45 ish to say goodbye. I stood there hugging him for what seemed live forever but in reality was only about 3 minutes. We kissed and he told me not to be sad, but it was too late. My eyes were already swelling with tears. He told me that it was alright, because he would be back soon, but I still knew that it would be another 2 weeks before I saw him. We exchanged "I love you"'s and I got in the car and left. I cried the whole drive home. It was painful to say good bye, but it gives me something to look forward from now until when he's back in town.

When I got home, I helped my mom a little bit with moving her water bed. Underneath within the infinite darkness of the underside of her bed was the Sega Genesis. I hooked it up and played Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for about an hour. It felt like I was 6 years old again. Little did my 6 year old mentality remember that if you moved the power cord AT ALL behind the Genesis, the whole system would turn off. So after an hour of play, my fun was instantly over because I moved slightly to the left.

This made me want to travel even farther back to the 8-bit era. I thought of the idea of looking for the original NES in the dark recesses of my garage, but quickly gave up the idea because I still felt like crap after having to say goodbye to my Richard.

I decided instead to look through the plethora of Wiccan Spell Books I had tucked away and began looking for a recipe for something to cheer me up. The closest thing I found was an aphrodisiac type of milk shake, which somewhat lifted the sorrow.

I sit here now, typing to you, drinking my milkshake, waiting for two weeks to end it's time as quickly as possible.

Currently listening to: "Snoop Dogg, Baby" - Reel Big Fish
Currently talking to online: no one

July 5 [2003], 9:33 PM - I saw Richard today, and had a lot of fun hanging out with him. We watched "Gangs of New York" and I brought over my XBox, so we played that a little. Pitty his father was home. I was really hoping we could have some time to ourselves, since he will be leaving for another two weeks tomorrow night.

He's only been here a day or so, and I'm already dreading the time we he has to leave again. It's times like this that make me wish summer were over so that I could go back to school and wait dreamily for Tuesday to role around.

So, for some unknown reason, I find the most heart wrenching/romantic song in my mom's CD collection and put it on the computer. Lifehouse was the first thing I found, but no matter how much I hate them, I push play. I start crying uncontrollably during the chorus of "Breathing."

Why am I like this? Maybe I still feel a tad bit lonely because I know that in less than 24 hours he'll be back at his mom's and it'll be another two LONG weeks before I see him. Maybe it's because I haven't gotten to do anything in the ways of sex with him because his dad has been home. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm so happy for once in such a long time that it seems like I haven't been this happy in so long.

I love being in love with him. It's the greatest thing I've ever felt. Just knowing that no matter what you may be going through mentally, emotionally, physically, whatever, there is always someone to pull you back down to earth, but just enough to keep you floating on the clouds.

Currently listening to: "Breathing" - Lifehouse
Currently talking to online: Lyssa

July 4 [2003], 10:33 PM - Happy fourth everyone...

Richard came back today! I went to his house from about 6:30 to until 10. It was wonderful. Seeing his face was like falling in love with him all over again. Just to feel his hands touch my face when he kissed me was incredible. It was like the first romantic kiss in a movie that every girl dreams of. It reminded me of the first time we kissed. Amazing...You never know how much you miss something until it's been gone a while.

So I spent the evening with Richard, while watching the fireworks for the 4th of July. A perfect day back together. Hopefully I'l' get to car tomorrow so I can go and hang out with him again. Lucky for the both of us, he'll be in town until Sunday.

Currently listening to: nothing
Currently talking to online: Richard

July 3 [2003], 10:13 PM - I tanned today for an hour. I'm just trying to get the pasty white color off of my body, but now on some spots I look like a mexican. Not what I was going for, but I'm not complaining.

When the mother got home I went to Funcoland to turn in 3 games (2 original Gameboy and one SNES) for some store credit. I was hoping to get maybe $5 at the most, but ended up getting 10 dollars! A big surprise to me. So, I bought an SA-V adapter for my consoles. It hooks the Gamecube, the PS2, and the XBox on the same Audio/Video cable, so it's a lot cleaner behind the TV now with the bushel of cords everywhere.

Tomorrow is forth of July. Nothing like celebrating America's independence by watching your mother and family get drunk off Mexican beverages. (Does anyone else see the irony in that, or is it just me?) So yeah, I can't go anywhere tomorrow because we're having a "family thing." Oh well, whatever. I'll live. It's just my grandma and my favorite aunt (which used to be a crank addict, which is probably why she's so funny).

Saturday Richard will be in town! Hopefully his dad wont be a jerk and will let me spend the day with Richard. I really do miss him *tear*, and don't want to miss an opportunity to be with him.

I think that's everything. I'm out then...

Currently listening to: "Cheer Up" - Reel Big Fish
Currently talking to online: Richard, Leigh, Danielle

July 2 [2003], 10:33 PM - Because I am a Nintendo fanboy for life, the power of the Triforce has compelled me to post the following...

Gamefaqs.com is having their second character battle. Last year, there was a battle between TONS of characters. People voted when two were up against each other and the winning character moved on. Of course, Link won last year's contest, totally ruling over all the competition.

The contest is back, and Link has already won the first heat (no shit, he was up against Aiai from Super Monkey Ball for crying out loud). If you're not into competition but happen to visit gamefaqs for some reason and you see that Link is up against some pathetic excuse for a video game character, please, for the love of the Triforce, VOTE FOR HIM PLEASE! The Hero of Time will conquer all, but with the race's help, the task will be finished faster...

Alright, my inner gamer broke free...I think I've got it under control now. *phew*

Currently listening to: nothing
Currently talking to online: Richard, Kayce

July 2 [2003], 10:01 AM - Ok, this is me, alright...

your asshole.

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