Chapter VI: Bitter sweet symphony

"I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I liked it and I don't know why I will do it again" Bart Simpson

Obi-wan, leaning against the kitchen's furniture, bite the apple he was holding with his right hand and let his head fall back, producing a hollow sound when it crashed against a cupboard. He bit his lip to avoid a sigh, because he had found himself sighing too much in the past two days. Ever since he had succumbed to Anakin – although it may have been the other way around, there wasn't anything clear between them – everything had became more complicated. Or maybe not, because now everything was about intense sexual encounters. Maybe, after all, he had no reason to complain.

The truth was Obi-wan had became accustomed to be with young people with little experience who expected him to guide them sweetly in bed. Anakin, though, knew very well what he was doing and what he wanted. And he wasn't sweet. Of course, he wasn't supposed to be, because they had defined sex as a battlefield, a place to purge their hates and resentment through physical pleasure. Because there was pleasure. Anakin knew exactly were to touch, where to kiss, where to bite.

Nevertheless, Obi-wan had to wonder why he didn't kiss his lips. To a certain point, Obi-wan could understand that it would be considered a weak move, something too intimate to share it with him, but he couldn't help the want, the necessity of kissing those too red lips. What intrigued him the most, though, was the furious spark Anakin's eyes showed every time he tried, making him think that there was more than symbolism behind the rejection.

On the other hand, was the fact that Obi-wan was tired and sore. They had had more sex in the past two days than Obi-wan could remember having ever, and they hadn't used a bed once. There had been walls, floor and tables, not even a sofa. His back still hurt from last night on the kitchen's table, besides, he couldn't stop thinking about how uncivilized that had been. They were like animals in heat.

Before he had time to extend his thoughts, Anakin appeared in the room at the same time that his comm link made a sound. He left the apple on the table and took the device between his hands.

"Obi-wan Kenobi", he said against the comm while Anakin looked at him with interest, curious about who it was. If he was lucky enough, it would be Mace Windu.

/Obi-wan/, said Mace's voice on the other side.

"Mace, I was expecting your call", he nodded unconsciously, offering Anakin an arched eyebrow when he smiled widely. Anakin walked the steps that separated him from Obi-wan slowly, kneeling in front of him and holding his hips with his hands.

/We were waiting for the report a couple of days ago, Obi- wan, but we didn't get the report or you, can I kn–/

"Excuse me a second, Mace", Obi-wan covered the comm with the hand that wasn't holding it, taking his eyes to the kneeled Anakin, who seemed more interested on looking at his crotch, "can I ask what are you doing?", the tone was less harsh than Obi-wan had intended, but it was enough to get the attention of the honey colored eyes.

"I thought that would be pretty obvious", the amused look went back to its principal goal, while the hands pushed the pants down in one pull.

"Don't you da– oh, Force", before Obi-wan had time of doing anything else, one of his hands was between Anakin's hair, while his member was surrounded by his mouth with decision.

/Is everything alright, Obi-wan?/, Mace's voice seemed to come from a very far reality, one in which there was no Anakin and his perfect mouth. Obi-wan crushed the comm in the hand that held it, forcing himself to focus on something besides Anakin's mouth ascending and descending through what was already an erection, /Obi- wan?/

"I, er…", he coughed a little, feeling his voice hoarser than it should be, "sorry Mace, I hit myself."

/What about the report, then?/, Obi-wan bit his lower lip when one of Anakin's hand left his hip and took possession of the base of his erection, massaging what his mouth couldn't reach. He had to focus. Report, treaty, Mace.

"They didn't sign the treaty Mace, they didn't… didn't–", he let his head fall back and shut his eyes strongly, taking the image of Anakin kneeling in front of him away from his head, "one of the clans didn't agree."

/I guess the Shani leader, what we thought. I assume you're working on some reasonable amendments and that you'll have them soon, after all, I guess you don't want to spend more time in that place/, Obi-wan knew Mace was talking, that it was an important conversation, but he was so close, and Anakin's hands felt hot against the skin of his hips and his tongue licked and circled and his mouth sucked and it was torture, /how are things going with the kid?/, Obi-wan made a strangled sound while holding strongly to Anakin's hair, /what was that?/, before Mace's voice finished the question Obi-wan closed his eyes, reaching his orgasm in a whirlwind of white lights, /Obi-wan, are you alright?/, Mace's tone was more exasperated than worried, and Obi-wan could almost imagine himself hitting the floor repeatedly with his right foot.

"Fine Mace, I'm fine", the answer was a relieved sigh. Obi- wan allowed his body to slid down until he was sited with his legs spread in front of Anakin's kneeled figure, who licked his lower lip like a satisfied cat, "and everything its alright."

/You surprise me… after the fuss you put on about the boy/

"I'm not saying that he is easy to handle, but I've been in much worse situations", Anakin offered him a smile, conscious that they were talking about him. He lowered his head and tried to get up, but Obi-wan pulled his hair slightly, making him stay in his kneeled position, "he barks, but he doesn't bite", Obi-wan's hand went from Anakin's hair to his neck softly, holding him as if to choke him. His intentions, though, were very different.

/Please, don't tell me you're fucking him/, Obi-wan smiled against the comm while he held it between his ear and his shoulder, bringing his hand under Anakin's pants, grasping his erection strongly. Anakin smiled and put his forehead on Obi-wan's free shoulder, licking the skin he could reach.

"You don't have to do this", whispered Anakin against his ear, feeling his body tremble with pleasure, "do you always have to be this… polite?"

"Shut up."

/Excuse me?/

"I wasn't talking to you, Mace, sorry."

/So? Are you sleeping with the kid?/, Obi-wan made his caresses faster, delighting himself in the contrast between Mace's voice and Anakin's pleasure sighs.

"I believe that is none of your business", Anakin's hands went to his waist, looking for support.

/That means that you are, of course. I can't believe this Obi-wan, I thought you were smarter, but it seems that you have lost your head in the past few years/

"Jealous?", he wasn't sure to who was the question directed, but Mace's answer was a grunt while Anakin's was a bite to his earlobe.

/Please, Obi-wan. I'm just surprised that you have spread your legs for the kid, or was it the other way around?/

"Do you really want the details, Mace?", Anakin dig his nails on Obi-wan's hips, feeling close, deliciously close.

/There is no reasoning with you when you get like this/, Anakin's teeth found a place in Obi-wan's neck when he finished, which was the same instant the communication line was cut with a click. Anakin allowed his body to fall on Obi-wan's in an uncomfortable position while the comm link was forgotten somewhere on the floor.

"Well, that was fun", he whispered when he was able to breath. Obi-wan, though, drew a furious expression on his face and pressed a little more against Anakin's neck. Anakin's eyes found his fast.

"Don't you dare doing something like this again

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"The Council won't accept this terms", said Anakin leaving a datapad on the table and leaning comfortably against the sofa.

"I know", Obi-wan, sitting next him, rubbed his eyes strongly, "there is no way of making Batcha's petitions sound reasonable. They are stupid and stubborn, although that is why he made them, of course", Anakin offered him a nod, "he doesn't want a treaty."

"Maybe we should take more drastic actions", suggested Anakin with a shrug.

"Violence is what has taken this people to where they are today, we can't use it", Obi-wan leaned on the couch too, looking at Anakin with the corner of his eye, "it would be admitting that diplomacy is useless."

"It is."

"Please, let's not go there again", Obi-wan took his hands to his eyes again, "we've had–"

"Stop doing that", Anakin's hand went to Obi-wan's wrist, taking his hand away from his eyes, "you'll poke your eyes out", Obi- wan sighed exaggeratedly, "relax, would you?"

"How can I relax? We are at a dead end", before he finished the sentence Obi-wan knew it shouldn't have left his lips, since Anakin's hand was on his thigh in a second, "no", he held Anakin's hand with his own, looking at him.

"Why not?"

"Because it is the only thing we do", and because sex with Anakin was anything but relaxing.

"I didn't know that was a problem", Anakin's other hand took Obi-wan's away, allowing him to ascend through the inside of his thigh slowly, "what do you want us to do to relax, Obi-wan? Perhaps a little chat about Qui-gon? How about that?", Obi-wan stopped Anakin's hand again, just before it got to his crotch.

"And why not about that master of yours that allows someone to stab your back?"

"That has nothing to do with you."

"I could tell you the same, so why don't you go and get a cold shower if you are so needy?", Anakin's hand went straight to Obi-wan's neck, holding it stronger than he had wanted, pressing enough to make Obi-wan feel a stab of fear.

"I don't need you."

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For a second, Obi-wan had been sure that Anakin would press, that his lungs would start claiming for air they weren't getting, but Anakin had simply stood up and had left. He had been tempted to follow, but that would have been a weakness he couldn't allow himself, so he had stayed sited on the sofa. He had taken a datapad between his hands and had tried to look for a solution to the present dilemma, but all he could do was wonder where had Anakin gone. Finally, sleep had caught up with him and he had closed his eyes while lying on the sofa.

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Anakin had taken his steps to a night club at the Heri city. He had decided on that one because his brown hair would look less weird between the dark heads than between the shiny blonde of the Shani. Still, the whole place had seemed to notice his entrance, but they had lost interest once he had installed himself in the crowded bar.

"What do you want, jedi?", the waiter offered him a smile, and Anakin wondered if it was lustful or disgusted. He preferred the second choice.

"The strongest thing you have."

Seconds later the same man had served him an electric blue drink in a large glass. He took a long sip and fought the coughing that came with the unknown alcohol. That was just what he was looking for.

The truth was Anakin had never been one for alcohol, actually, he hated getting drunk and the consequences it brought the next morning, but the tension he had been feeling ever since he had stepped on this planet deserved some alcohol. Obi-wan had no right to mention his master. They had only talked about him once, but Obi- wan had spotted him as the source of some problem. But he had no right, he had no right, he had no right.

"He had no right", this time, after a sip of what could be his fifth drink, he said it out loud.

"Sorry?", the question came from a silky voice belonging to a girl with long black hair that had been sitting next to him for a while.

"I wasn't talking to you", the girl wasn't surprised by the harsh tone. As a matter of fact, she put one hand on one of Anakin's knees. Anakin took his eyes to the girl's hand, then to her eyes.

"I don't want to talk."

"You're not very subtle, are you?", whispered Anakin while taking her hand away from him, "look for someone else, babe."

"Your lost, jedi", the girl groaned a little and got away from the bar, loosing herself between the dancing crowd.

Anakin asked another drink and put his head between his hands. Anakin didn't need sex from a stranger, he had something better at home. He had Obi-wan, who moved deliciously and who knew where to put his hands. Anakin had always had too soft or too aggressive lovers, but Obi-wan knew how to touch him with decision but with the exact strength, claiming every part of his body as his. But Anakin wasn't his. They just played to posses each other, to touch each other, to entwine in this complicated scheme they had created to get rid of their hate.

Anakin had thought that once he slept with Obi-wan everything would stop and each of them could follow their ways separately, forgetting the resentment through indifference. Anakin should have known that if fourteen years of distance hadn't made him forget his hate towards Obi-wan, nothing would. He wasn't even sure of it being hate, but he knew that sleeping with him had only obsessed him more.

Still, sex didn't grant Obi-wan any right. He had no right, he had no right, he had no right. After all, it was just a twisted game.

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When Anakin went through the back door of the house all he could think about was sleep, but when he saw Obi-wan's sleeping form on the sofa he changed his mind. He walked towards him and sited on the floor, in the gap between the table and the sofa, watching Obi- wan. When Obi-wan slept he looked more defenseless than he really was. Obi-wan's features where soft, and they were made for sweet expressions rather than the exasperated or furious ones he used to wear.

Anakin took his hands to Obi-wan's face and took away the glasses he was wearing, leaving them on the table. He put one hand on Obi-wan's stomach and found a piece of skin between the clothes that were covering him, drawing imaginary circles with his thumb. He inclined his face a little, thinking that if Obi-wan hadn't been dragged to the jedi life, he would have been a good family man. He could see him in a big house in the suburbs of Coruscant, coming back from a simple job to hug his wife and a couple of children. Perhaps, he thought, it would have been better. Then again, if that had happened, Anakin wouldn't have met him, although he wasn't very sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

When he straightened his face again, Obi-wan half opened his eyes, blinking a couple of times before focusing on him.

"You've returned", he whispered with a husky voice.

"You're the master of the obvious, Obi-wan", Obi-wan's mind registered absently the caress against his skin, but he didn't stop it.

"You're drunk", he affirmed immediately. Anakin gave him a bitter laugh.

"Not enough", Obi-wan raised a little, supporting himself on his elbows, watching Anakin without talking. Anakin, on his side, opened completely Obi-wan's upper clothes, putting his fingertips on his chest, his eyes looking at Obi-wan's. Obi-wan tried to put the hand away, but Anakin pressed his palm strongly to his chest.

Obi-wan opened his mouth, but he regretted it before any sound came out, closing it again. While Anakin's hand caressed his chest slowly, he leaned slightly to the front, searching Anakin's lips with his own, but the younger one turned his face, offering him his cheek.

"Why not?", murmured Obi-wan.

"Because you have no right."

"To what do I have a right?", Anakin turned his face again, looking at his eyes. He stood up and sited on Obi-wan's hips, leaning over him then.

"This is the only right you have", he took his eyes away from Obi-wan and descended on his naked chest, licking every piece of skin, biting a nipple, caressing his stomach with his hands, "because I don't need you", his tongue circled a nipple, sucking it slightly later, "I don't want you", his hands found the waistband of Obi-wan's pants and caressed the nearby skin, "I don't lo–", he stopped when Obi-wan's hands cupped his face, making him look at him. Obi-wan wasn't surprised to find Anakin's eyes teary and his lower lip trembling.

"What–"

"Don't", Anakin moved his head, taking Obi-wan's hands away from his face, "all I want is you to fuck me, understand? I don't want to know who you are, I don't to change my opinion of you, I don't want you to understand me, all I want right now is sex, and tomorrow I won't want anything different, I will never want something different, alright?", Obi-wan nodded slightly, raising to a sited position with Anakin on his lap.

He took his lips to his neck and he felt Anakin sigh. Anakin's hands went through his chest, then through his stomach, finding then his erection. While Obi-wan freed him of his upper clothes, Anakin pulled his pants down enough to show his erection.

Anakin stood up and got rid of his pants quickly, sitting again on Obi-wan. He surrounded his erection strongly and pushed him until Obi-wan was only supported by his elbows, giving Anakin enough room to guide Obi-wan's erection to his entrance.

"Wait, we shou–", but before Obi-wan could advice some preparation he found himself enveloped by Anakin. He watched the younger face contract into a painful expression, but all he could do was moan loudly and fall completely on the couch. It was the first time Anakin wasn't topping, and he would lie if he said he hadn't wanted to be inside him.

Anakin tried to move, but Obi-wan held his hips strongly.

"Wait a little longer or it will hurt more", Anakin bit his lower lip strongly, but he nodded. It had been a long time since someone had been inside him, and he wasn't very sure why he had wanted Obi-wan there, "lean a little to the front and spread your legs more", Anakin leaned over Obi-wan, pressing his forehead to his chest.

He waited a few more seconds and started to move slowly, making the movement faster when pain became pleasure. When Obi-wan thought he wouldn't hurt Anakin he started corresponding his movements by lifting his hips to the rhythm Anakin was marking. He buried a hand in Anakin's hair and took the other one to his hip, while Anakin held strongly to his waist.

Anakin's forehead was still on his chest, and Obi-wan couldn't help but notice that it was the first time that they didn't face each other during sex. It was also the first time that both of them were allowing themselves moans, grunts, something other than strangled sighs. For a second he wondered when had aggression become bitterness, but soon the rhythm between their bodies was to frenetic to think about something else.

Anakin pressed harder into his waist, just as he always did when orgasm reached him, throwing Obi-wan to one of his own when the muscles inside him became even tighter. They both moaned louder than before and Anakin fell on Obi-wan's body, while the other one relaxed against the sofa. He hugged Anakin's waist softly and tried to calm his breathing. He was tired, but he had to thank the fact they had used something soft this time.

Obi-wan was starting to fall asleep when he felt Anakin standing up, and he repressed a whine to the lost of the nice weight on his body. Anakin put his pants on while Obi-wan supported himself on his elbows. Without looking at him, Anakin took his steps towards the door of the room.

"Why do you always run away?", asked Obi-wan before Anakin left the room. Anakin turned around and, arching an eyebrow, looked at Obi-wan.

"Am I running?", he asked softly, "I didn't know you were chasing me."

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End chapter VI.

Bitter sweet symphony – The Verve

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Try to make ends meet You're a slave to money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah, No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold But I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no Well I never pray But tonight I'm on my knees yeah I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold And I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no I can't change I can't change 'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Try to make ends meet Try to find some money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah You know I can change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold And I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no I can't change my mold no, no, no, no, no, I can't change Can't change my body, no, no, no I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down Been down Ever been down Ever been down Ever been down Ever been down Have you ever been down? Have you've ever been down?