Looper Ministries International is pleased to announce that God has called us to form

THE SIRENS OF CHRIST SALVATION MINISTRY

These are the END TIMES and we need a HOLY GHOST SIREN OF CHRIST NETWORK IN AMERICA to let folks know that they need to ACCEPT JESUS into their wicked hearts before THE RAPTURE.  Accordingly, Looper Ministries International in conjunction with a Bush Administration faith-based funding initiative will spend $30,000,000,000 (THE SUM OF THIRTY BILLION US DOLLARS) to build a network of the SIRENS of CHRIST throughout America. The sirens will sound ten times daily at 120 decibels at random intervals to remind folks who aren't saved to do get saved.

The sirens will also serve as a RAPTURE EARLY WARNING NETWORK.  How does this work? Okay, I'll tell you how. Supposin' the Mooslims and Russians are fixin' to attack Israel. Well sir, that is a sign of the END TIMES and that the RAPTURE is probably NEAR. So the SIRENS  OF CHRIST will sound for five or six hours at 150 decibels to give SINNERS ONE LAST CHANCE to get down on their knees and beg God's forgiveness and ACCEPT JESUS. The SIRENS OF CHRIST are sort of like the colored-warning terrorist program that no one seems to understand. Bu the sirens everyone will understand because they will scream out JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS,JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, over and over an over in a shrill, head-splitting manner until you folks get the point and get saved.

THE SIRENS WILL NOT STOP UNTIL EVERYONE IN AMERICA IS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN AND THIS MEANS YOU, SO DROP AND GIVE ME THE SINNERS PRAYER YOU MAGGOT!!!

With THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS we can put a CHRIST SIREN every square mile across all of America, which is 3,618,770 square miles including Alaska and Hawaii.  So NO ONE in America will have the excuse of saying, "I didn't hear any of the 3,618,770 CHRIST SIRENS." These sirens are so loud that deaf folks will feel them. Even old deaf folks will feel their dentures rattling. The vibrations from these sirens at their full rated output of 300 decibels will break glass, knock things off shelves, rupture eardrums, and cause folks to bleed from their ears, eyes, nose, and mouth -- but hey buddy, Jesus bled for you and so you can give back a few pints okay? 

Looper Ministries International is also changing all of that sissy Catholic art to show sirens on the Cross of Jesus.

Jesus said that we were to preach the GOSPEL IN ALL OF THE WORLD, but a lot of folks just plain ain't been listenin' and getting saved like the ought. So we have taken it upon ourselves to do what is right for y'all. We are gonna rain on your sin-parade. Say yer all likkered up and fixin' to watch a porno DVD and y'all got yer dick in yer hand or yer fingers on yer clit iffn you is a woman, and all of a sudden: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUS, will scream out to remind you of your sin and your need to get saved and stay saved. And since the sirens go off at random intervals, you just can't relax and sin in quiet like the old days.

You will either get saved or be exposed to the CHRIST SIRENS 24/7.  Anyway, what we is doing is in the King James Baybull, for the Baybull say, "MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE UNTO THE LORD." 

The SIRENS OF CHRIST will begin SCREAMING OUT GOD'S MESSAGE OF SALVATION IMMEDIATELY. CONSTRUCTION WILL START IN LIBERAL AND HOMO AREAS SUCH AS LOS ANGELES AND SAN FRANSODOMYCISO. 

HEATHEN: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!