WHY I AM A DRUNKARD, A GAMBLER, AND A WHORE-CHASER

I have sinned. In fact, I just went on television this morning and cried out to God and admitted my sins. Here is a video capture of me crying on television:

I confessed my sins to the world. Like so many Christian men, I drink a lot of alcohol. I frequent prostitutes with my Christian friend Jimmy Swaggart. I engage in high-stakes gambling with my Christian friend Bill Bennett. And now a man in Africa by the name of Dr. Linus Momoh is trying to blackmail me and has threatened to let all of my faithful followers know that I am a wicked sinner. Dr. Momoh wants my last $15,000 and sent me the following e-mail. It is a record of correspondence between us:

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REV LOOPER WE HAVE SEARCHED FOUND YOUR PROGRAMME ON THE INTERNT AND TAKE NOTE THAT YOU HAVE A STANDING IN PUBLIC WITH YOUR MINISTRY. HERE ARE A CHOICE OF WORDS AMONG WHAT WE FOUND ON YOUR PROGRAMME:
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Who is Reverend E. Dwayne Looper? He is God's man of faith and power. He is saved, anointed, and filled with pure HOLY GHOST POWER. Looper has led HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TO JESUS CHRIST. As shown above, he is out on the vile, unsaved, filthy streets fighting for Jesus and God's Own Party, the GOP. Looper has published over fifty books, 100 tracts, 200 booklets, and CAST OUT OVER 1,000 DEMONS. In fact, Looper trained such greats as Bob Larson and Benny Hinn in exorcism.

E-MAIL REVEREND LOOPER IF YOU NEED PRAYER OR WANT TO SEND HIM MONEY TO CONTINUE FIGHTING SATAN AND SPREADING THE WORD!
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SIR YOU MAKE SUCH STATEMNTS TO THE PUBLIC AND THEN SAY TO US:

Dear Dr. Momoh:

I have very bad news and I hope you can understand it. In my hopes of sending you the $3,000, I took the $417.43 down to the local gambling casino to play blackjack at the $2.00 table. This means I had 208 bets ($2.00 x 208 = $416.00) to parlay my money in $3,000.

This casino serves free alcoholic drinks. Now, I had promised God last year that I would quit drinking alcohol. And I am ashamed to say that I have made that promise everyday to God and have failed most days, especially when I have a few dollars in my pocket.

Soon, I was likkered up and was up $3,500. I should have walked away but Satan told me to bet it all. When I have money, I am a high stakes player and so I laid down all the money on a double or nothing game.
I stopped hitting at 20 and thought I was in. The dealer hit a blackjack!
21! It was Satan mocking me and I was broke!

Sir, I now have no money except my government welfare check and I need that for vittles and fixins. I also think that my glass eye has a crack in it and I need to replace it and they are not cheap.

So you can sue me I guess, but I have nothing to my name save my Bible and my good name.

Yours in Jesu,

Rev. E. Dwayne Looper

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HOW WOULD YOUR PUBLIC NOW FEEL IF THIS LETTER WERE EXPOSED TO THE PAPERS AND ON INTERNET? THERE MUST BE A BIG UPROAR FOR YOUR SINS STINK TO THE HIGH HEAVENS. HOW CAN YOU CLAIM TO BE A MINSTER OF THE GOSPEL WHILE A DRUNKARD AND A CHASER OF FILTHY WHORES? YOU WILL FARTHER GAMBLE AWAY THE MONEY PEOPLE GIVES TO YOU.

YOUR SHAME CAN STAY BETWEEN US IF YOU PREFFER TO HAVE A QUIET SOLUTIUON. BUT YOU MUST HONOR YOUR PROMISE TO US WITH DEEDS AND NOT WORDS AND LIES. WE HAVE A DEADLINE AND SO THE MONEY MUST COME TODAY AND NOT WAIT. AS WE SAID TO MAKE SEVEN SENDINGS OF $2000 EACH AND ONE OF $1000 FOR A TOTAL OF $15000 BY WU TO THE NAME YOU WERE GAVE OR ELSE TO MAKE THE WIRE TRANSFER OF $15000 ALL AT ONCE,. BUT TODAY OR ELSE THERE IS PROBELMS FOR YOUR NAME IN THE PUBLIC STANDING. YOU WILL ALSO CALL US TODAY SOMEWAY. YOUR SHARE OF THE MONEY IS READY FOR IMMEDATE TRANSFER TO YOUR NOMINATED A/C MONDAY FIRST BANKING HOUR SO YOU WILL BE ON FINE FETTLE ON MONDAY.

DR LINUS MOMOH

 

 
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Dear Dr. Momoh:

So you would expose my sins to the public if I do not pay you $15,000? Just answer me that question. Are you saying you will blackmail me?

Reverend Looper


 

 
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YOU ARE AT A CROSS ROAD TO CHOSE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THE GOOD WAY IS TO KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO US AND WE ALL HAVE RICHES ON MONDAY. THE BAD WAY IS TO HAVE ALIGHT SHINE ON YOU TO EXPOSE YOUR SINS. ALL WE WANT IS TO CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION SO WE MAY GET THIS MONEY WHICH STANDS BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH IN AFRICA. THE SAME CAN BE SAID TO YOU FOR YOUR LIFE IS CONFINED IN A TRAMP TRALER. GOD IS SHAMED BUT YOUR SIN IS BY AND BWTEEN YOU AND GOD AND WILL REMAND THEIR IF YOU PAY.

 

So there is the truth writ large for all of the world to see. Dr. Linus Momoh is an evil man who wants to blackmail me for $15,000. I have called other Christian leaders to tell them what has happened, and here is what they have said:

 

Brother Benny Hinn forgives me as does Jesus

 

Paul and Jan Crouch forgive me as does Jesus

Billy Graham forgive me as does Jesus

Pope John Paul II DOES NOT forgive me as does Jesus.

This does not matter as he is a Mary-Worshipper

and so is Hell-bound anyway.

 

If I were not a good Christian, I would tell Dr. Linus Momoh that he can go to Hell with the Pope. I will not pay blackmailers any money. Please send me money to help me fight Dr. Linus Momoh and his evil Voodoo.