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Christian Pathologies, Contiuned... |
Lost, Stolen or Found |
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| Mistrust God Neglectful of assembling to worship Nothing to look forward to Opposes authority Opposes doctrine of Christ Opposes humanity of Christ Opposes the bible Persecutes the saints Prayerlessness Questioning God Rationalizes the Word Religiosity (but far from true religion) Religious aberrations (fanaticism and extremism) Religious frenzies Robbing God of the tithe Stirs strife between believers Suppresses ministry Take God's name in vain Traditionalism Unable to see or hear spiritually Uncomfortable in Gospel meetings Unforgiveness towards God You base your salvation on your own worthiness You believe that you are unacceptable to God You blame God for what the devil has caused Cult Involvement Buddhism Christian Science Confucianism Eastern philosophies Hinduism Islam Jehovah's Witness Masonry Mormonism Rosicrucianism Shintoism Taoism Theosophy Unification Church Unitarianism Unity Universalism Other... |
Found in Church Basement: New pack of Ladies "Gaymode" brand tricocel underpants. Size 44. If not claimed in two weeks, these underpants will be made into a cover for the piano. ____
Lost and believed stolen: US Army Air Force B-29 in mint condition. Taken from the parking lot of Burger King while her Christian volunteer crew was inside eating. Plane was last seen headed east towards Iraq. WARNING: This plane was loaded with highly explosive BIBLES bound for the godless nation of California!!! That's right, the WORD of GOD is explosive, life-changing, and full of GOD's LOVE. We want our plane back you fucking sons-of-bitches who stole it!!! _____
Lost and believed stolen -- Christian Marital Aid, taken from the private counseling office of Christian psychologist Dr. James Dobson along with a video entitled, "Supercharging Your Married Heterosexual Christian Missionary-Position Sex Life." Dr. Dobson asks that the device be returned by mail and, "No questions will be asked." Dr. Dobson also cautioned that the use of this device without prayer may lead to, "Wild sexual feelings that are just too potent for Christians to handle." This device is also "very addicting" addedd Dr. Dobson. ___ Note: The Reverend Looper is very concerned about the sexual preoccupation of God's church. He can accept that a Christian lady needs to wear white cotton underpants, but why would she so carelessly lose them in of all places, the church basement? What is that about? Also, why is Dr. Dobson even admitting that he uses marital aids in marriage counseling? Isn't that something only the heathen should do?
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