Reality Meltdown
Time to get down and dirty.
Mario Sunshine is, indeed, a game about cleaning things up. I know after I've had a hard day adventuring, I like to kick back and take a vacation, with a nice stiff glass and two classy hos. Mario finally takes one, or at least takes one we care about. All his other vacations, into the underground pipe lair where he meets up with Uncle Vinnie who sells dope, well, those vacations don't get video games. The ESRB would suffer a heart attack. So, anyway, Mario goes on vacation and the island is dirty. I've heard some moans and groans about it, mostly because that's the point of the game. However, they don't know. They're the shit-talkers, those who haven't played it. They don't understand that showers are essential in everyday life, and without them, many, MANY bad things happen. Like flowerbeds dying. Or milk spoiling. Or an evacuation of the entire state of Wyoming.
It's a good game. Not perfect, I had a few bad vibes with it.
The first beef is the damned camera. It's better, alot better than the time I took in Super Mario 64 to get the dang thing behind me, that's automated now. Almost everything had at least ONE angle to use, just not always the one I wanted. Hey, to make me happy, I should be able to spend the entire game with the camera inserted in mario's right nostril. Then the left nostril is open for picking. See if there's a shine sprite in there, Mario!
The next thing I didn't care for was the lack of levels. There are only 7 real levels, and then 3 other less intensive areas. In this entire resort place, theres only 7 major places of intrest? What about the rest of this island? Is it evil jagged peaks and filled with angry natives who we've pushed to the fringes of civilization, sadly weeping over broken treaties and smallpox infested blankets? What about the other islands? I want more! More more more!
Added on that is I'd have liked to see more possibilities in using Yoshi. I mean, he's an essential character- used twice. Sure, his ever reapting drumbeat will wake up your sister, but since theres not THAT many enemies around, whats the use? She'd have gotten up in 3 hours anyway. There just isn't enough enemie sin the game, and the battle dinosaur gets cranky with no munchies. Nintendo, next time get some more play into him.
On to the good stuff. This game has ALOT of challenges. I haven't gotten everything yet, some because of other intrests, some due to the sheer difficulty invovled. Some things are FRIGGIN insane. A time limit for gathering 8 coins on a running, jumping, flipping challenge that took me HOURS the time I did it before? Not a piece of cake, and thats just the way I like it. You could give yourself an ulcer trying to do some of this stuff. And it's almost addictive enough for you to keep trying when your failing digestive system nose-dives and you're having a rectal check. They're so hard, it might take you until you're due for a checkup anyway. Not just a game, a rectal time testing device! The appearance of Yoshi was great, I kinda missed the green guy. But not Luigi. He's immature, foolish, and a stinky green. Not the cool lucious smooth brand only a reptile could bring to you. The voices, also, were fun sometimes, even if I did want to stab a staw into the voice of the princess's esophagus and lower the pitch of her voice manually with a fork. The Backpack was sheer gold. You get to spin, shoot, fly. Not just punches and kicks anymore, Mario moved to distance attacks! Here where the "cleanup" part doesn't matter, you basically have a refillable weapon strapped to your back. Not so easy to refill a glock when stranded in the middle of the ocean, now is it? And I had to buy a new pair of pants after eharing the return of the: you guessed it, the PIPE NOISE! Old school, eat this shit up. Whats more, you can spend hours searching for hidden things. Playing long enough will turn up something. Just around around with the hose on, and something will turn up. I tried the same in my neighborhood, and all I got was some pocket change (none that shiny shade of blue), a black eye and restraining order.
That's that. Look into this is you like 3d Platforms, it really was a nice game. And a must for any Mario collector.
