Broken
I could think of no better way to kick off E3 than with food. One of things people always ask me for is restaurant recommendations. I consider myself to be appreciative of the finer things in life and everyone knows that one of those things is an over-priced meal. Unfortunately, quality dining in my hometown is Applebees. But with E3 bringing us out here to LA, I decided to scoar the land of the stars in search of a more elogant dining experience. My search ended at Ed Debivic's, a local burger joint.
The first thing you'll notice upon entering Ed Debivic's is how all the waiters and waitresses are dressed up in whacky costumes. And since everyone in LA is a talented thespian, they'll act out a stereotype of whatever they're dressed up as. For example, if one of them is dressed as a nerd, they'll act like a nerd! They'll also call you things like "Big Lou" instead of your real name! Never has a resaurant shown so much personality! And if you happen to be visiting at the right time they'll all jump up on tables and sing "YMCA." Yes the people at Ed Debivic's are a colorful bunch.
I was in the mood for something slightly ethnic so I ordered the Cheeseburger and Fries. After I ordered, my waiter asked me where I lived and why I was visiting and other things he didn't need to know. He sat down at my table and started to chat. We talked about things like where exactly my hometown was, what I did for a living, and how long I'd be in LA for. Our conversation ended when I exploded in a fireball of rage and told him to put in my order or I'd start attacking people at random and then hit them with a lawsuit so big as to be legendary. After about 10 minutes the food came. Being the pompous renaissance man that I am, I prefer to eat food with a knife and fork coated in gold. The knives and forks they have there were just the regular kind and that was simply wrong. I sent my set of silverware away and requested that they bring me back something that was more to my liking. They didn't have any gold but they said that they could give me some chopsticks instead. I let out an annoyed sigh to let them know how irritated I was and reluctantly agreed.
After I was finished, I ordered a bottle of their finest rootbeer. When it arrived I checked the date to find that it was only made within the last couple of days! Was this resaurant run by cavemen? I sent it back and after waiting for 15 more minutes, they presented me with a bottle of 20 year old rootbeer. Much better. I unscrewed the cap and poured myself a glass. When I sipped from the glass, my tongue danced in a way that only properly aged rootbeer can make it dance.
With all of the food consumed, it was time to consider how big of a tip my waiter deserved. The best way to tip is to mentally place an imaginary stack of bills on your table. When the restaraunt pleases you, add some bills. When they screw up, take some away. After adding everything up, the tip came out to negative 10 dollars, which meant that they owed me money. After helping myself to $10, I left the building.
So would I recommend Ed Debivic's? If you can't find anything better and if you have a high tolerance for people in costumes making asses of themselves, I guess I would. If that doesn't sound appealing to you try somewhere else. I'm sure there are places that make a much better slab of meat, but with a city as big as LA, does a tourist really have the time to look for it? Of course not.
