Reality Meltdown
- 11/15/02
Anyway, this event happened awhile ago. I was meaning to write it up, but never got around to it. But I made a page for it, and so, here we are.
Anyway, I was in my room, and I left to go take a shower. I had my towel on my waist, and my sandals, all prepped and ready for a nice washing.
It was a good shower. You know, the ones where it's all... hot and not scalding. And you get the washing done, and just let the water run, and your mind water. You just kinda zone out... ...and wake up surrounded by dead bodies and watching the blood run off your arms. That kind. You know. The refreshing type.
Anyway, I finish up, get on my sandals, and head back to my room. And... the doors locked. Wait a sec.
Could you scroll up? To that second paragraph where I list everything I brought?
Just fucking scroll up and check.
Quit whining, you slacker, and go look!
If you didn't look, your a bitch,a nd if you did, you're my bitch.
Yeah. So I had no fucking key. Here I am, wrapped in a towel. What do I do?
I went to knock on the RA's door, since he has a key.
Knock Knock
Knock Knock Knock
KnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKnock
BAM! BAM!
He's not there. He must be out, or in class or something. Various guys offer condolences, silently snickering at my naked-but-for-a-towel ass.
What else can I do?
I head down to the front desk, since they can give you a key if your locked out. They generally take your ID, but since all I had was a towel and flip-flops, I was willing to bargain/threaten them into submission.
So I hurry down, trying to avoid seeing anyone(or better yet, being seen). I head downstairs, and find... the window isn't even OPEN yet! It's only 11:30 or so, and they don't open till, at best, noon! Fuuuuuuck!
I, much dejected and humiliated, head up to my room. I had to use one hand to hold up the towel, because the loss of hope slimmed down my waistline. It's the miracle defattenizer: dejection and humiliation!
I knocked on my own door, and yanked on the doorknob. I kept at it for awhile.. until the janitor asked if I was locked out. Yeah. As if I'd be doing thsi if I had a key. This man, this SAINT, named Max, unlocked my door and let me inside. I showed him my ID, grabbed my Keys, and shut the door to put on some boxers. Max fucking rocked. He's the best janitor ever. Never mistreat janitorial staff. They kick serious ass.
