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2003 Stufflorean Time Traveler
C'mon, you know you've been wanting this -- You're very own time machine! But you just can't find it at Wal-Mart, can you? Well, never fear, for the Stuff Store has just added the new Stufflorean Time Traveler 2003 model to the Stuff Lot! Comes complete with a V12 engine, flux capacitor, nifty flashing buttons, and a passenger-side cup holder, for all of your time-traveling needs. Stuff Store price: $5,978,321.01
Stuffinator Personal Nuclear Warhead
Maybe time traveling isn't your thing, but everyone sure loves to blow something up every now and again, right? Is that pesky teenage brat of a neighbor driving you crazy? Neighborhood getting too noisy at night? Sick of all the local traffic? Well, with the new Stuffinator Personal Nuclear Warhead, you can put a radioactive end to all of your small town woes. Comes complete with the special low-price Stuffinator home security package: two fully loaded nuclear warheads, straight from Russia (they'll never notice they're missing), handy-dandy remote control, backyard launching station, and small control crew. Stuff Store price: $230,568 (nuclear accident insurance not included)
Stuff Year Blimp (Formerly Good Year)
Our newest addition to the Stuff Store inventory is the one rare item that every joe blow citizen dreams of owning -- a blimp! Yes, now you too can fly over football games and annoy the masses with your own blimp! The Stuff Year Blimp comes complete with hot air, CD player, automatic windows, and A/C system. Spy on your neighbors, crash parties from above, or just enjoy the friendly skies (suggested to keep clear of owners of the Stuffinator Nuclear Warhead). Stuff Store price: 569,242.23
The Better Mousetrap
The Stuff Store is very proud to bring you the better mousetrap! The Stuffomatic Death Trap is sure to put an overly destructive end to your furry pest problems. Using state-of-the-art laser grid technology, thermal tracking, infrared sensors, mouse pheromone cells, and a titanium-plated chamber, the Death Trap is the ultimate in better mousetrap technology. Satisfaction guaranteed or we deny everything. Stuff Store price: $482.00
Stuffatron Killbot 3000 Home Security Droid
Realizing today's ever-growing need for home security, Stuff Labs has developed the first-ever Stuffatron Killbot 3000 Home Security Droid. This bad boy comes equipped to keep the local cat burglar away, as wells as deter pesky IRS agents. Incorporating the latest in burglar detection technology, it can slice, dice, incinerate, and make nonexistent any would-be intruder to your home. Don't worry though, the Killbot is fully equipped to be kid-friendly as well, so little neighbor boy Johnny won't get charred to a crisp accidentally. Stuff Store price: $999,999.99 |
