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Q: Can you prove that the Stuff Store is a legitimate establishment? A: Can you prove that we're not? We have a website, for Pete's sake! Of course we're legit! Q: How much do you back your products' reliability? A: Ask out attorneys. Q: Can I buy stock in the Stuff Store? A: This is a commonly asked question. Stuff stock is indeed available to our most valued customers. For $10 per share, you get to own a brick of our store. Floor and ceiling tiles coming soon. Q: I recently purchased the Stuffinator Personal Nuclear Warhead, and soon afterwards, Russian KGB came snooping around my residence. Do you know anything about thi--ACK!!! A: Sorry, we don't know where that question came from . . . Please don't ask us questions like that. Q: I just bought the Stuffatron Killbot 3000 for my home, and within the first week of operation, it started repeating the phrase "Error! Error! Kill! Kill!" over and over again. My little boy is so scared now, and has stopped coming home from school. Is this a common malfunction, and how do I fix it? A: We'll send one of our Stuff Store repairmen over immediately. Pay no regard to the fact that we commonly refer to our repairman as "hit men". It's just a gimmick. Really. |
