Invading the Fellowship

Part Fifteen

 

Another Disclaimer: Do not own Fellowship yet. Do not own Wal*Mart either. T.T

 

"Dude…we're lost." #3 looked around.

"It's them Powerpuff Girls!" Larry hollered. "They got us lost!"

"Will you shut up about the Powerpuff Girls? It's cramping my style." #8 adjusted his shades once again.

"You ain't got no style!!" Larry grumbled.

"Oh yeah? Watch!" #8 popped a Mentos into his mouth. Immediately, screaming Elf-girls flocked to him.

"You learned that from the Bishounen gods!" the wraiths fell to the ground. "Hail Yomato! Hail Satoshi!"

"Thems ain't gods!"

"Larry, you're a big fuzzy pink thing with antennas. Shut up."

 

***

 

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES!!" Dew sang loud and clear, while all of the Fellowship covered their ears.

"Will somebody please shut her up?!" Boromir groaned. Katie pulled out her remote and hit the mute button.

"Finally!" Frodo sighed.

" >/ " Dew, unable to sing, crashed into Orli's head and started pecking at him.

"Make—ow—her—ow—stop—ow!!" He swatted at his head.

"Give her bacon," Ivan suggested. Orli pulled out a package of bacon and gave it to Dew, who flew off to catch up with Katie.

"Thanks." Dew clicked the mute button again.

"Can I have a piece?" Pippin reached out his hand.

"NO!" Dew screeched, spitting a water attack at him.

"Geez!" Pippin hid behind Renee. "What's with her?"

"She's Dew." Ivan shrugged.

"Yeah…" Sami was riding on Ewan's back again.

"Hey…does anyone know where we're at?" Megan asked.

"Don't end sentences with prepositions," Renee told her.

"Oh, shut up."

"The ducks at the map," Oliver pointed to the ducks.

"Stupid waterfowl!" Draco kicked the ducks again.

"Oh, great, we're lost!" Sami cried out.

"I am the way, the truth, and the life…" Aragorn floated down the road.

"Follow Jesus?" Renee suggested.

"Sure, why not?" Sami said.

The Fellowship started forward. They walked for a while, when they all of the sudden stopped.

"What…is…that?" Draco asked.

A big white rabbit, which looked frighteningly like the Easter bunny at the mall, ran past them. "Late, oh no, I'm late for the tea party!"

Y'all have tea parties in Middle-Earth?" Katie asked.

"Uh…sure?" Pippin said.

"Whoa, this is way too Alice in Wonderland for me," said Renee.

However, the Fellowship went running after the rabbit.

"You realize now that we're probably going to fall down a hole and end up in Gondor knows wh—AAAAAAAAH!!" Megan screamed.

The Fellowship fell down a huge hole. They were falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, and falling.

"OUCH!" The Fellowship landed in a big heap right outside WHS.

"Dude, we're home!" Renee said.

"Does this mean we have to go back to school?" Sami asked.

The foreign Fellowship looked around, amazed.

"Whoa…" Legolas was overwhelmed. "Is that…a hair-styling place?"

"Oh Gondor…" The rest of the Company rolled their eyes.

"A CHURCH!! ♥__♥" Aragorn bellowed and ran to the Chicken Church.

"Hey, I think I need to go to Wal*Mart and get some more stuff for my bag," Katie said.

"What's…Wal*Mart?" Pippin asked.

"Hehe, just follow us, you'll find out."

So, the Fellowship started walking to Wal*Mart. The Middle-Earthlings were captivated along the way, wishing they had about ten eyes each.

"Ohh! Another church!!" Aragorn exclaimed.

"Master Cuts!! Let's go there!!" Legolas added.

"Come on Legolas." Renee dragged him along. "There's a place inside Wal*Mart with plenty of hair-care products."

"OoOoOoOoO!" he cried, running ahead.

"Wait, wait!" Sami called to him. "Don't get lost!"

"Hey you guys?" Megan spoke up. "There's no way we're going to keep the entire Fellowship together in Wal*Mart," she pointed out, "so I think we should just tell them not to talk to anyone."

" 'Kay," the other girls agreed.

"HEY EVERYONE!" Katie yelled. "Don't talk to anyone in Wal*Mart, all right? Even if they talk to you first."

"Isn't that rude?" asked Orli.

"Well, yeah. But we can't run the risk of too many of you being seen and recognized," Sami explained. "Which reminds me, you guys better wear these." She whipped out twenty-one pairs of sunglasses. "The foolproof disguise! XD" she said, putting a pair on.

They had now reached the doors of Wal*Mart. The hobbits and Legolas were at the head of the group, so they stepped in front of the doors, which slid open automatically.

"AIEEEEE!" Legolas shrieked, running to the back of the group. "They move by themselves!!"

"Welcome to 2002, C.E.," Sami told him.

"Argh. I can buy me dress." Gimli grunted, heading to the plus sizes in the women's section with Boromir holding his hand.

"Hi, welcome to Wal*Mart." Brandon greeted them.

"I DON'T KNOW HIM!!" Katie shrieked, running towards the electronics section.

"Er…right…" Renee followed Legolas to the hair-care section.

"*○* OH MY GOSH!!" Legolas's eyes lit up the moment he saw everything. "Suave®, Aussie®, Pantene Pro-V®, Finesse®, Herbal Essences®!! WAIIIIIII!" he started grabbing armfuls of bottles off the shelves and dumping them in a cart.

"Dude! Look at this!!" Ewan held up a thong.

"LISSE'!!" Oliver chucked a handful into a shopping cart.

"Why are you two raiding the underwear department?" Link blinked.

"…I dunno…" Oliver put some more crap in the cart. "Go yell at Gimli, he's the one walking around in women's lingerie!"

"I don't want to be here." Draco crossed his arms.

"Oh, just try this on. Please?" Megan begged, holding out some leather clothing.

"…No."

"Please?!"

"No."

"PLEASE?!?!"

"…FINE!!" Draco grumbled, taking the clothes and walking into the dressing room. "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"Can I have this?" Sami held up a shirt.

"Sure, love." Orli nodded. Sami chucked it in the cart and picked up a CD.

"What about this?" she asked.

"Sure, love. Whatever you want." He smiled at her.

"SAM!!" Frodo cried out. "Where are you?!" He was apparently lost. "T.T Someone help me!!" Frodo ran in circles frantically.

"Hey there, sonny," The Wal*Mart Smiley Face® floated up wearing his Zorro® mask. "What's wrong?"

"T.T I'm lost!!"

"Follow me then, sonny." The talking yellow dot escorted Frodo to the back of the store into the Garden Department.

"Sam!" Frodo cried.

"Hi, Mr. Frodo!" Sam was looking at new pitchforks.

"Thank you smiling yellow thing!" Frodo waved.

"Outta my way!! Move it or lose it, pal!!" Dew shoved her way through Wal*Mart, making her way toward the bacon section.

"^^; Dew, slow down!" Ivan sweat-dropped. "I don’t think this is a good idea…"

"Shaddap and do what yer told!" Dew snapped.

"Hey! Don't snap at Ivan!!" Katie ran up with a shopping cart. She picked up Ivan and shoved him in the cart, dashing down the aisles again.

"Yay! Draco!" Megan hugged the leather-clad Harry Potter character.

"¬.¬ This is stupid," he muttered.

"Sméagol!" Gollum was busy checking out the new guns.

"Do not overload yourself." Haldir sat down on a bench and began to meditate.

"Buyses!" Gollum told the salesperson.

"Uh…okay…" He handed Gollum some more ammo and a few shotguns.

"HI!" Oliver waved, stumbling around with Ewan, slamming into various shelves. "WOOO! That's some good stuff!"

"Yeah, *hic*, you said it!" Ewan fell over.

"…What's with them?" Merry looked at Pippin.

"Drunk, I guess," Pippin shoved some more Pokémon toys in a shopping cart.

"Have this," Aragorn handed Pippin a book and floated off. "Rejoice…"

"O.o…thank you?" Pippin raised an eyebrow, looking at the book.

"It's a Bible," Merry told him, taking the book and chucking it into the cart.

"Is there anything else I can get you, love?" Orli asked, pushing three shopping carts behind Sami.

"Well…" She looked around.

"OoO! What do you think?" Legolas ran about wearing a blue bikini. "It's my perfect color!!"

"Legolas, go put clothes on!!" Renee chased him through the aisles.

"Argh." Gimli grunted. "I'm sexy. Sexy maaaaaaaan!" He started dancing.

"X.X That's too disturbing." Megan shuddered after seeing Gimli's immoral dance. Grabbing Draco, she ran off to some other section.

"Put that in the cart." Dew ordered, perched on Link's head.

"Why?"

"Don't make me hurt you…" Dew growled.

"T.T Katie, help!!!!!!!" Link screamed.

"What?" Katie popped up out of nowhere. ">/ Dew…"

"Aw, forget it." Dew flew off to crash into some stupid person.

"Hey…can we go get cars?" Ewan grinned devilishly.

"Thou shall not drink and drive!" Aragorn commanded.

"Yeah!" Oliver nodded. "We might spill our drinks!"

"…XD We'll get cupholders!" Ewan ran his cart into a checkout.

"O.o How are we going to pay for it all?" Megan asked, watching Draco kick a shopping cart into a row.

"XD Watch!" Ewan waved his hand in front of the cashier. "We can have our stuff for free."

"@.@ You can have the stuff for freeeee…" the cashiers chanted as their eyes glazed over.

"Woo! Go Ewan!" Sami cheered.

"Argh! Wedding in St. Louis!" Gimli announced.

"O.o How do you know about St. Louis if you haven't heard of Waterloo?" Katie blinked.

"XD Who HAS heard of Waterloo?" Link snickered.

"x.x…Good point."