A PSEUDO-HERO'S SUMMER VACATION

It was a week after The Group supposedly met a psychotic humanoid alien named Hekaris Volren. They assumed he was killed when his small lair, located in a sewer on Chicago's south side, exploded while he was still in it. The news reported the damage was caused by an underground gas main explosion. Repairs were still being made, but public works employees were still kept out of where the explosion actually occurred. Today, a young man in a black business suit walked into the scene, climbed down into the sewer, and went straight to the site. Two armed soldiers stood in his way.

"This is a restricted area," the first soldier said.

"Off limits to civilians," the second added. "So get out."

The man reached into his inside jacket pocket. The two soldiers aimed their weapons at him. He pulled a small black object, much like a wallet, out. He opened it. It held an identification card and a badge.

"Special Agent Kevin Zammitt," he said. "Defense Intelligence Agency, Division 4: Paranormal and Extra Terrestrial Research and Investigation. Get out of my way."

The two soldiers quickly lowered their weapons and stepped to the side.

Agent Zammitt entered the room. It was his job to investigate all occurrences of paranormal or alien incidents on U.S. soil. Not fake stuff, like people claiming to see a UFO or a supposedly haunted house. There were dozens of science officers out in the field, and once they determined the incidents were genuine, Kevin was sent to investigate. This site was supposedly the base of operations for an alien that had committed several murders in Chicago over the past few weeks. He looked around and could tell this was indeed where the alien hid. The technology was different than any he had seen before, though. He was only 27, but had been with the agency for five years, and had seen more in that time than most see in their entire lives.

"Great," he said to himself. "A completely different species." He took out a small communicator. "This is Zammitt. I'm gonna need a full crew down here. We've never dealt with one of these before." He looked around the room. Much of the equipment was damaged, but the techs at HQ could repair them enough to test them. In a corner, he saw what looked like a skeleton, minus the skull. It had decomposed long ago, so it couldn't have been killed in the explosion. There was damage to the rib cage as well, right where the heart would be. He left the room and returned to the surface. A van pulled up, and six people exited, dressed as city workers.

"There's lots of damage down there," Kevin said. "Whatever can be salvaged, do it. There's a skeleton down there, too. Bring it up, I want it analyzed back at The Trench."

"Yes sir," one of the men said. With that, Kevin Zammitt, walked across the street, entered his car, and drove off.

At that same time, another young man named Justin Miller was suddenly awakened.

************************************************************************************************

I glanced at my clock. It was 3:11 AM. That cock-sucker across the street was blaring his car radio again. My first night home, in my bed, and I can't sleep because Mr. Fuck-wad can't hear 50 Cent loud enough. Fuck this I thought. I got out of bed, walked to my closet, and took out a box of BBs. I opened up my window. A second later, his headlight was no longer lit. Then the other one. By the time he turned the radio off, there were six dents in the hood of his car and a big crack in the passenger's side window. I never much cared for Corvettes anyway, especially the newer ones.

Super powers had so many advantages. I doubt anyone could throw a BB that far with that much force behind it, but I could do it blindfolded. I still didn't tell my family about it. I told no one except Megan and the rest of the group. My mission of smiting drunken wannabe black rich high school kid complete, I returned to my bed.

My mom and dad were gone to work by the time I woke up the next morning. Two of my sisters (the only ones still living at home), were up and watching tv in the living room. Molly and Liz were my youngest sisters (though still a year older than me) and identical twins. Our oldest sister, Andrea (the oldest of all of us), had moved out five years ago when she got married. Our older brother, Sean (the second oldest of the family), moved out about a year ago after his marriage.

"Hey, kiddo!" Molly said when she saw me. "When did you get back?"

"Around nine last night," I said. "I take it you were working."

"No," Liz said. "I was working for her. She was out with Ron."

Since no one other than me, Sean, Andrea, and our parents could tell them apart, Molly and Liz switched frequently. And incase you're wondering, Ron is Liz's boyfriend, and he hates Molly. They fuck with his head constantly, because he pisses Liz off constantly.

"So," I said, "what did the dipshit do this time?"

"He grabbed Molly's ass at the mall last weekend."

“He thought you were Liz,” I said.

“No, he had just visited me at work,” Liz said.

"So we went to a restaurant and I “accidentally” spilt a milk shake on his new leather coat. By the way, George wants to know when you're coming back."

George was the head cook/manager at the restaurant I worked at in high school and last summer. He said he'd always have a position for me when I was home from school. I liked the job because working in a kitchen keeps me away from people, and let's face it, I'm severely lacking in social skills. For example:

RANDOM PERSON IN HIGH SCHOOL: "Hi."

ME: "Fuck off."

Though that might be considered a bad thing, my sisters consider it my best quality. Me, Sean, and Dad had lots of fun when they brought dates home for the first time.

"So do you have a girlfriend yet?" Molly asked out of nowhere.

"Yes."

"Is it Megan?" Liz asked.

"Yes." They sighed.

"Well, they've been sleeping together since they were five," Liz said.

"Guess it was only a matter of time," Molly said.

"Just remember this one thing," Liz began.

"Other people sleep in this house, so don't be too loud." Molly concluded.

I left the room and took a shower. My sisters have been telling me to go out with Megan for years. For some reason, the three of us got along better than anyone else in the family, aunts, uncles, and cousins included. All through high school, people assumed I was older, simply because I was taller than them. I’ve been indifferent towards most of their boyfriends, but Ron I fucking hated. Now, I don't care much about what they do alone, but when I'm in the room, and he's trying to talk the two of them into a three-way, that's just not right. He's also a complete cock to me when Liz isn't around. When they first started dating, about a year ago, I was dumb enough to loan him my DVD of Scarface. I have not seen it since. When I asked for it back the first time, he told me to go fuck myself. The second time, Liz was around. He said I never loaned it to him.

Like I said, a complete dick.

Where was I? Oh, right, Megan. Now that I think about it, the three of them probably conspired to get me to ask Megan out. She would be leaving next week to spend a month at her grandparent's house. So I'd be alone for a whole month. My friends were too far away. On the bright side, if we couldn't be together to fight bad guys, they wouldn't come looking for us to kill us. So I finally had some time off of everything. No school, no bad guys, no trying to convince my girlfriend I was a superhero. Just me, my Playstation, my movies, and my mini-fridge-o-pop.

The first thing I did after my shower was raid the kitchen. I grabbed a bag of Doritos, a case of Live Wire, my Ghostbusters 2 mug, and took my Liv Tyler cup out of the sink (you know, those "Lord of the Rings" ones Burger King sold). My breakfast ready, I put in a DVD of Daredevil and prepared to feast and watch the woman of my dreams kick Affleck's ass.

So of course my mom called just then.

"Good morning, sonny," she said.

"Mornin," I replied.

"Watcha' doin?"

"Eating breakfast and watching a movie."

"Well," she said (here comes the really weird part), "eat something other than Doritos, and pause your Jennifer Garner movie, I've got things for you to do today."

How the hell did she know, you ask? I have no fucking clue. I swear to God, the woman can read minds.

"Ok," I said, "what am I doing?"

"I want you to go tell George you're home and can start this week, then you have to pick up the dry cleaning at 12, and I want your room cleaned because your brother and sister are coming over for dinner tonight. Tell Megan she's welcome to come as well."

"Is the dipshit gonna be here?"

"I don't know, ask your sister."

"Anything else?"

"No, that's all. Love you, see you when I get home." And she hung up. I closed the bag, turned the movie off (I didn't even get past the freakin' origins scene), and began the search for my shoes. I found them near Penguin’s cage. I didn't mind being stuck with the errand running, but I am bummed that I gotta clean my room already. See, when my mom says "clean", she means just that: pick shit up, put shit away, dust, vacuum, Windex, everything. I don't know why, Andrea and Sean know my room's messy and Tony and Amy (Andrea's husband and Sean's wife) had no reason to even look in my room. Oh well. As long as Ron didn't show up, I'd be happy.

Turns out I wasn't happy that night, because the dickhead showed up. My dad was grilling, and had saved me a New York Strip, so I assumed the night wouldn't be that bad. Of course, my super power luck held out, and I was forced into small talk with the dipshit. Liz had to run to the store, so he sat next to me, because while Sean and Tony hate him almost as much as me, I'm the smallest of the three. So he took it upon himself to ruin my watching of Teen Titans.

"Aren't you a little old to be watching cartoons?" he asked.

"I want my DVD back," I said without looking at him.

"I'm telling you, you never gave me a Scarface DVD," he answered.

"I fucking hate you so much," I said. He continued to try to piss me off. Dad was in the back yard, Sean and Tony were talking in the next room, mom, Andrea, Molly, and Amy were all in the kitchen, and Megan wasn't here yet. I was stuck with him, and it was too late to leave, because he'd follow me now.

"So, you still got all those posters of that cartoon chick in you room?" he asked. He was referring to my Elektra posters. He was just trying to piss me off now.

"Yes," I said. Don't let him get to you, ignore him I told myself.

"Wow. How pathetic are you that you need to stare at a cartoon chick. I guess you have no choice, since you couldn't get a girl if you life depended on it."

Do NOT throw a knife at his head a part of my head I assumed to be my conscience told me.

"I can't take this shit anymore," he said as he took the remote and looked through the channels. He settled on TRL on MTV, where some stupid bimbo was screaming about how awesome the rap song playing was.

"Yeah," he said. "This is real music, not that dumb shit you listen to. What's that gay band you like?"

Oh fuck this; just kill the bastard my brain said.

"Oingo Boingo," a voice said from behind us. Megan had just arrived. She sat next to me, kissed me, and put my arm around her shoulders, as if she knew what the jag-off had been saying.

"How's it going?" she asked sweetly. Then she looked at Ron. "Hi, Ron. How are you?"

"Good," he said. "So you're dating this loser?" he asked while starring at her chest.

"Tell me," she said, angered by his leering and insulting me, "how many times did you cheat on Liz this week?"

She hit a nerve.

"Fuck you," he said. He got up and left, muttering something that sounded like "dumb slut". Not sure if he was insulting my girlfriend or sister, I chucked the remote at the back of his head.

"Thanks," I said to Megan. "A few more minutes and I'd have been putting Penguin down the back of his shirt."

"How can you do that to him?" she asked. She wasn't concerned about Ron. Penguin was my pet ferret. Since he has pointy claws, I drop him down the back of people shirts when they piss me off.

"He's a ferret," I said. "Ferrets are indestructible."

"I know," said Megan. "But it's just.........cruel."

We were eating less than an hour later. I was asked a lot of questions, since most of them hadn't seen me for at least three weeks. I told them how classes were, how finals went, how my friends were, and other school-related stuff. Finally, my sister-in-law noticed the small scar near my left eye.

"What's that under your eye?" Amy asked.

"Oh," I said, putting my hand over it and playing like I forgot about it. It's not very noticeable (now at least), but I never forgot it was there, since I owed my super powers to the accident that left the scar. "Accident in chemistry. The roof was being redone, and something fell through the ceiling, and I got glass and other stuff flung in my face."

"You didn't say you got hurt that bad," mom said, now closely examining the side of my face. I told them, of course, but left out the part about losing a chunk of my face, and gaining said super powers.

"You look like Scarface now," Tony joked. He got me into the movie in the first place. He had been a fan for years, probably because he was Mexican (Tony being short for Antonio, just like Scarface). I don’t know why, but every Mexican I’ve ever met was a Scarface fan. I laughed.

"I Tony Montana!" I said in my best Montana voice. Normally I’d have used this as an opportunity to inquire about my DVD, but I decided not to start arguments my first night home.

The rest of dinner was spent with people talking amongst themselves, and me randomly throwing lima beans at Ron. I had to make sure I aimed at a different spot every time, and missed on purpose a few times. Right now you're probably wondering why no one tried to stop me. Well, it’s not an uncommon sight in my house for lima beans to become airborne. However, I did get in one shot right between his eyes.

After dinner, my mom brought out those "get-together game" things. You know, like Cranium, or Pictionary, the ones that require a lot of yelling. My dad and Tony retired to the living room and watched tv. Megan made me stay for a few rounds of Mad Gab. Sean jokingly kicked me out for getting too many right, and I used it as an excuse to leave. I walked Megan back across the street, said good night to my family, threw a spoon at Ron, and went to my room.

I checked my clock. 10:45. I changed and threw myself on my bed. My Daredevil disc was still in the DVD player. I left it there, deciding I would watch it tomorrow. I stared at the walls. One had a poster for each Lord of the Rings movie. Another wall had my Elektra posters. I only had three, and one was from the movie. Penguin was asleep in his cage. I turned off the light and lay down.

"Ah, home sweet home," was the last thought in my head that night.

***************************************************************************************

June went by very slowly. I mostly worked and went to the movies. Work was hell, and I mean that in the most literal sense. See, the thing about working in a kitchen is that it's always at least ten degrees hotter than it is outside. While that is rather pleasant in, say, January, it totally sucks in June. Thank God I don't live in Miami, that burning hot shithole.

I took Megan wandering through town her last night before she left. She enjoyed walking aimlessly through our town. She was at one point what my family less than affectionately refers to as a "Ridge Road Rat". See, one of the major streets in our town is called Ridge Road, and there are various stores and restaurants on it. A Ridge Road Rat is one of the kids, either in high school or junior high, who spend their free time walking up and down Ridge Road, usually stopping to hang out in front of Subway or this stupid coffee shop/hippee-beatnick hangout place. Mind you, they never entered these places, just stood in front of them. While it's no secret I enjoy a similar activity (I openly admit to being a mall rat), I at least enter a building and spend money. Beside, it's a well know fact that all Ridge Road Rats are either annoying preps or posers.

Where was I?

Right, Megan. We were wandering Ridge Road her last night here when we happened upon Danny, an “old friend” of ours. Danny was one of the most popular guys at out high school. He was captain of both football and wrestling, and not use to losing at anything. Megan gained notoriety by being the only girl Danny asked out that ever turned him down. So seeing her with me didn’t exactly please him. We came across him as he was fake ID-ing his way into a bar.

“Meg?” he said. “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What are you doing with this guy?”

“He’s my boyfriend,” she replied. “Justin, I think you’ve met Danny, right?”

“Once or twice,” I said. He was in my psych class senior year.

“So how’d you get a hold of her?” he asked. “Because she turned me down, so I can’t figure out why in the hell she’d want you.”

“I’m rich,” I said.

“Really?” he said. I knew he was planning something now because smoke started to come out of his ears. “You a betting man?” I was disappointed that this was all he could think up.

“Yep.”

“Let’s play a man’s game,” he said. “You know what darts are? It’s a game where you throw things at a board?”

No way it could be this easy.

“Come on inside,” he said. “Play a game. I got a hundred bucks saying I’ll beat you.”

“A hundred?” I replied with a laugh. “That’s all you got?”

“Oh, how much can you afford?”

“Tell you what,” I said, “I’ll triple whatever you wager if I lose.”

“Deal,” Danny said, his eyes huge. We walked in after him.

“Justin,” Megan said, “He plays football. He knows how to throw.”

“Trust me,” I said. We walked up to the dartboard. Danny emptied his wallet.

“$900,” he said. “You want to go first?”

“You first,” I said. “I insist.” He threw his darts. He got a 20 (doubled), a 23, and another 20 (this one tripled).

“You’re turn.” I walked up, took the darts, and threw. Three bull’s-eyes. Their faces dropped. Ten minutes later, Megan and I walked out, me $900 richer.

The point is, every dart I threw hit the bull’s eye, and Megan still didn't believe I had super powers. I decide that night I would never try to convince her of the truth. I would take Carolyn's advice and lie.

Ah, the love of my life. How I hate her.

What kept my enthusiasm going during her absence was knowing that after the first week of July, I would be visiting my friends for a four day weekend. Carolyn's family had a cabin/house/whatever/thingy up in bum-fuck Wisconsin, and had invited Aaron, Eric, Amber, and myself to spend the Fourth up there. And the best part is I wouldn't have to drive. I drove up to Great America with Liz, Molly, and a buddy of mine from high school recently, and am afraid I seemed to have lost my enjoyment of driving.

For the sake of my sanity, I'll rant about driving much, much, later. Maybe during my retirement.

Unfortunately, I still had to drive the expressway (home of the dumbest fucking people to ever get behind the wheel, made even dumber since all the roads near Chicago are under construction for no fucking reason!........sorry) to Carolyn's house. Fortunately, traffic was fairly light, and it was only a 40-minute drive. I had a long day, so I ended up sleeping most of the way up there. When we got there, I realized two things.

1: For the ump-teenth time in my life, I had no clue where I was, and

2: Even in summer time Wisconsin sucks.

It was hot and humid as all hell up there. There was good news though. Since both Aaron and Eric had been subjected to the sounds I make in my sleep (I had been compared to Darth Vader, a wind tunnel, and everything in between), I got my own room. The living room. With an old, and very squishy, couch. It was the most comfortable thing I had ever slept on in Wisconsin.

We spent the weekend like a usual 4th of July weekend: cooking marshmallows and hot dogs over a big fire (controlled by das Flaming Hair), and blowing up fireworks (I spent most of my paycheck on them). Yup, things were going good. Which leads me to introduce Super Hero Rule #5: whenever things are going good, somebody, be it superhero or villain, will fuck it up. Of course, it was me. See, Amber came up with the idea of going to a nearby town to see a fireworks show. So, my stupid ass said:

"Hey, why don't we have Spidon portal us to Chicago?"

I don't know why they picked this of all times to follow my idea, but they did.

"Sure," said Aaron. "I've been practicing, I should be able to get us to Chicago from here." So he opened up a portal and we all went in. It was then that I discovered how difficult portaling could be. We were taken to a black space of nothingness, with portals flying around through the airless void.

"Ok," Aaron said. "I just need to find one that'll take us to Chicago. Since I'm not exactly sure where we are in relation to Chicago, this is a much safer way."

"Safer than what?" I asked.

"Well," he began, "if I don't know the distance between the portals I'm making, it causes a lot of unnecessary physical strain. This way I don't run out of energy and accidentally close the portal when one of you is halfway through it." He looked around at the portals.

"So how do you find out which one goes to Chi-Town?" I asked.

"Ah. It's this one," he said as one came down in front of us. We all stepped in.

Where we came out was definitely not Chicago. It looked like a futuristic-Sci-Fi utopia city. There were lots of incredibly tall, oddly shaped buildings. In what appeared to be the center of the city were three large towers. We all glanced around in a mix of shock and awe. As per usual, it was me who broke the silence.

"Dude! We're in 'Blade Runner!'"

*******************************************************************************

Agent Zammitt was reading the analysis of the skeleton found in Chicago. It was not bone, nor was it any identified metal or mineral. Dr. Roger Norton, who had performed the analysis and delivered the results, was waiting, knowing Zammitt would have questions. He had been with the agency for years, and was the base's chief science officer. He was always the first one Zammitt asked questions. After a few minutes he spoke.

"How large was the sample?" Zammitt asked.

"We used the whole bone," Norton replied. "We couldn't get a sample. Whatever it is, it broke a diamond-tipped titanium drill bit before we even scratched it. We put the rib cage in a hydraulic press; it took over 13,000 PSIs of pressure without even buckling."

"What about the machinery found in the room?" Zammitt asked.

"We're not sure about it," Norton answered. "While it's not identical, there are similarities to Shenodian technology." Zammitt thought about that for a few moments.

"There haven't been any unauthorized Shenodian landings recently, have there?" he asked.

"Not in at least three years," Norton said. "The last authorized one was six months ago, and there are no more scheduled until next year." Zammitt thought for a few more moments.

"Contact Lord Ragnaravik," he finally said. "See what he knows, if anything. We can't rule out the possibility that it's not from space."

"Do you think it could be one of Dr. Yagman's creations?" Norton asked.

"It could be," said Zammitt. "We've found others in hibernation." That said, Dr. Norton left the room, while Agent Zammitt went over to a file cabinet. He pulled out two folders; one labeled YAGMAN, DR. HECTOR ROLAND, and the other labeled RE'EM.

"God I wish I'd heard the last of you," Zammitt said with a sigh as he opened the first folder.

**********************************************************************************

You'd think that if your friend/leader accidentally sent you to a futuristic metropolis, things wouldn't get any worse. Well, see there's this guy named Murphy. Now, Murphy made up this law where by if something can go wrong, it will, for no other reason than it can. What no one ever says is that his law applies about a million fold if you're a superhero. Not only were we lost in Tomorrowland, but now Aaron's portal powers were no longer working.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Aaron said. "They've worked fine since I got them."

"I think we should get somewhere more private before you keep trying," said Carolyn as a crowd of people walked by.

"I think we should find out where the hell we are," said Amber.

"No problem," I said. "I'll ask this guy, he looks friendly." So I walked up to a man standing against a building. He had spiky green hair and dressed like a 1980s Goth-punk. "Hey," I said in as friendly a voice as I could manage. "We're not from around here; could you tell us where we are?"

"Ak nyt oot zin ath ni heth," he replied. At least that's what it sounded like. I would later be told that I had a very interesting look on my face when I heard the man's response.

"Thank you," I said.

"Gyvakna," he replied with a smile.

"Well that turned out well," Eric said.

"Yeah," added Carolyn. "I'm very proud of you Justin. Not only did you sound polite, but you said "thank you" instead of "fuck off". Very impressive." I gave her the finger in response.

"Maybe we should just walk around and hope we hear someone speak English," suggested Amber. So we did. I spent most of my time looking up at the city. The buildings here seemed taller than even the Sears Tower. And there were flying cars! They zoomed between the skyscrapers.

"They got the Flying Car!" I shouted repeatedly. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Imagine a cross between Coruscant from "Star Wars" and the futuristic Los Angeles from "Blade Runner". I unintentionally made a scene in the streets, overcome by my excitement of what I was seeing.

"Excuse me?" a very sweet sounding voice said from behind us while I was talking about flying cars for the millionth time. We turned around to see a young looking woman, very pretty, with lots of curly red hair.

"I don't mean to intrude, but you seem rather lost," she said. "Is there anything I could do to help you?"

"I don't think so," Aaron said. "Thank you, though."

"Well," she said, sounding concerned, "I'd feel terrible knowing you were on your own. The streets are not always safe at night. Please, let me help you."

"I don't want to be rude," Eric said, "but I really don't think you can."

"Why not?"

"Sweetheart, you wouldn't believe us if we told you," I said.

"Sweet-heart?" she asked. "What is sweet-heart?"

"Don't listen to him," Carolyn said. "And thank you again, but we have to go." As we began to walk away, the red haired woman said:

"You came out of the portal that appeared in the alley." We turned and looked at her. She was smiling. "My friend saw you. I can help you get home. Please come with me."

We did. She took us on a five-minute walk until we came to another large building, taller than all the ones around it. We followed her inside, where we entered an elevator that shot up very fast. We got off into a large room with lots of people and machines. It reminded me of Q Branch from all those OO7 movies.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," our guide said, "but I did not want to draw attention. People will be looking for you. Oh, I'm sorry! I haven't introduced myself! My name is Lemyra."

"Nice to meet you, Lemyra," Eric said. I'm Eric."

"Why are you helping us?" Aaron asked.

"I want to get you back to your dimension before the Zohnans find you," Lemyra said.

"Zohnans?" Amber asked.

"Remember how I told you the streets are not safe at night?" Lemyra said. "It is because that's when the Zohnans come into the city. They are a race of terrible creatures. They feed on humans, and can not survive in sunlight. They will want the one who passed through the dimensions so move on to your world."

"Why?" Eric asked.

"We are stronger than your world," she said. "Their numbers are dropping. They need to find a weaker people to feed on."

"So we're in another dimension?" I asked. "What's it called?"

"Our world is called Maderious," Lemyra said. "This is the city of Nazjia."

"So what is all this stuff?" Carolyn asked.

"Oh, we make many things in this building," Lemyra said. "Including an inter-dimensional warp device. It will return you home."

"You guys still wondering where you are?" a voice behind us asked. We turned to see the spikey green-haired guy from the street.

"Oh," I said, "you speak English now?"

"English?" he asked. "Is that what you call it?" I found this humorous since he seemed to have an English accent. "Name's Reikor," he said with a smile.

"I did not get your friends' names, Eric," Lemyra said. So we all introduced ourselves. "Do any of you have powers like Aaron?" she asked after we finished.

"I can control heat, and I have a suit that lets me create fire," Eric said.

"I can generate electricity and move at the speed of light," Carolyn said.

"I throw stuff," I added. "And I never miss what I aim at."

"We're what our world calls "superheroes"," Aaron said. "My superhero name is Spidon."

"Bolt."

"Navajas."

"Flammenherr."

"Flammenherr," Lemyra said. "I like that name. It has an interesting sound."

I didn't hear if this conversation went any further. There were far too many shiny objects in this room. I walked around and looked at them. Reikor followed me, telling me what certain things were. I wound up becoming fixated on an odd pair of what looked like gloves that went up past the wrist.

"You like them?" Reikor asked. "Nifty little gadgets."

"What do they do?" I asked.

"Watch," he said as he put one on. "See this?" he said, pointing to a small thing on the inside of the wrist. "It's a grapple. It goes by nerve impulses that sensors inside read from the body. Just think, like moving a muscle, and the grapple shoots out," it did, and lodged in the ceiling, "and you use the same method to pull yourself up," he raised off the floor a few inches, "or unhook the grapple," and it came back into the glove.

"How much cord is in there?" I asked.

"Cord?" he said with a grin. "No cord. It's an energy wire. Never runs out. It'll run from the ground to the top of the TriTowers." I assumed those were the three identical buildings we saw when we arrived. Suddenly I realized Carolyn was right next to me.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"Yup."

"Ok, Lemyra said it's going to take about 4 hours to get the portal machine to work, so we're here til then. She said not to leave the building, because the Zohnans might attack."

"Okey Dokey," I said.

"But we're free to do anything we want in here. And yes, you can ride in your flying car, since it'll be high enough off the ground." Suddenly a really good idea came into my head. I looked down at the grapple gloves.

"Hey, Reikor," I said. "You think I could try these out?"

Less than five minutes later I was on the roof wearing the grapple-glove-things. My friends had followed me, since I had not told them of my intentions.

"Seriously," Amber said, "what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm gonna web swing!" I replied enthusiastically. I looked at my friends, who were visibly much less enthusiastic about my idea than I was.

"What?" Aaron asked.

"I'm gonna jump off this building, and fire the grapples from these gloves into buildings and swing around like Spider-Man!"

"Justin, you're afraid of heights!" Carolyn said. "I've heard all about the time you went on the Giant Drop. This building is about a million times higher!"

"I am confused," Lemyra said. "What is web swinging?"

"I'll explain later," Eric said. "Dude, how do you even know those things are gonna work properly? What happens when they run out of power and you fall five hundred stories?"

"Then I shall become the Highlander, for this is a magic building!" I yelled.

"Highlander?" Reikor asked.

"This is not a magic building," Lemyra said. "The closest magic city is the floating city of...."

"NO!" Eric yelled. "Do not tell him anything about magic or floating cities, please."

"For the last time, Highlander was a movie!" Carolyn yelled.

"No, Carolyn," I said, "The Highlander was a documentary, and events happened in real time."

"I swear to God, Justin," Amber began, "if you get hurt, and we get stuck here forever...."

"Oh, I am forever," I interrupted. I turned to the edge and jumped off, screaming:

"I AM IMMORTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I held out my hand. The red line shot out into a building across the...........air-street-thing. Immediately I began to swing toward it. I threw the other hand at another building. Once it hit, I let go with the first line. I was really web swinging! Through a fucking futuristic city!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was the single most exhilarating experience of my life. Then I realized my friends might think I was dead. I raised my height, until I could see the top of the building. I could see them, and they saw me. Despite the distance, I could clearly see the shocked looks on their faces. I launched the grapple into a large tower on the roof to land. As I swung, I gave them a triumphant look, not realizing how close the wall was getting.

******************************************************************************************

I awoke some time later to see Lemyra's face looking down at me.

"Oh," she said, "thanks be to the gods, he is awake!"

It was then that I noticed her eyes were pink. However, before I could comment, I discovered my head was throbbing with pain. I sat up and looked around. Everyone was there except Aaron.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"About 40 minutes," Eric said. "Aaron's out swinging around the block. After you knocked yourself out Reikor explained how they worked, and Aaron took them out for a spin."

"We think we figured out how we got here," Amber said. "When we were in the portal room, when you said "Chi-Town", it must've thought you said "TriTower". So basically, this is all your fault."

"Makes sense," I said. "So, when do I get to ride the Flying Car?"

"Well, nice to know there's no additional brain damage," said Carolyn.

"Don't you think you oughta rest a bit, mate?" Reikor asked.

"Screw rest!" I said. "This is the Flying Car!"

"I do not understand your excitement over our vehicles," Lemyra said.

"Our cars don't fly," Eric said.

"Oh," she said.

So we went with Reikor to a room filled with Flying Cars. Reikor's only fit two, so he told the others he'd take them for a ride later. We hopped in, he pushed a few buttons, and without warning the thing took off like a missile. I had no idea how fast we were going, but the building was soon out of sight. I looked around. We were flying at least a mile in the air, buildings forming a blur of color and lights around us.

"This is so fucking cool!" I shouted. Reikor found my excitement funny.

"I've never been to Earth," he said, "but I heard their technology is way behind."

"Hells yes it is," I said. "We only see shit like this in movies."

"A friend of mine went to your world a couple times," he said. "Told me "Blade Runner" was the closest they had to Nazjia."

"That's what I said when we got here."

"Not all cities are like this. This is Maderious' main technology center. We have a floating city where they specialize in magic. Higher up than the TriTowers."

"TriTowers?"

"In every city there's a place for our leaders to meet if they need to. Everyone is designed to reflect the best each city has to offer. Since Nazjia is a technological city, we built the tallest buildings on the planet, each constantly updated with the latest technological discoveries. Each gathering site is done in threes to represent the Three Great Kings who united Maderious and began our centuries of prosperity. Occasional attacks by Zohnans long ago are the only battles we've had since then."

"What are the Zohnans?" I asked.

"The Zohnan Tribe. Monstrous creatures," Reikor said. "No one knows exactly where they came from. One rumor is that they were created by scientists for use as weapons. Anyway, they live out in deserts and wastelands where we can't survive. Every once in a while a group will come into a city to feed. Nazjia is the main target, since most live in the wastelands that surround the city."

"What do they eat?"

"Us. Nasty little beasts. They have greenish skin, kinda like a reptile, but with no scales. Very strong, and can jump a good fifty feet in the air. And they're tough to kill because they heal any wound almost instantly."

"Freaky."

"Their mouths are the worst. What they do is split their jaw down the middle, through their chin, and on the sides at the corner of their mouths. Those two halves move out, and they can bite hard enough to crush a skull. And row after row of sharp fangs. Trust me, you don't want to run into them alone at night."

Now I was a bit creeped out.

"How do you kill them?" I asked.

"Gotta take out the head," he said. "Cut it off, stab them in it enough times, cut their bodies in half, anything they wouldn't be able to heal right away."

I was confident enough in my ability to toss several knives into a scorpion's head before it bit off mine that I was no longer worried. About me at least. After a while we returned to the building and docked the Flying Car. On our way back to the lab, however, I began to notice there was no one in the halls. In fact, we did not see anyone. Suddenly Reikor grabbed my arm and threw me into a room, quickly closing the door.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Shhhhh!" he said. "Zohnans are in the building! Be quiet, they can hear any sound you make." He took out a small PDA-like thing and looked at the screen. "There don't seem to be any on this floor. ”C'mon, Lemyra and your friends are in the lab upstairs. Remember to move as quietly as you can." I followed him out to a staircase. Then, on the way up, it hit me: I didn't have my knives. I was going to watch fireworks, not fight alternate-dimension monsters. And Eric probably didn't have his suit on. And Aaron's powers didn't work right here. That meant we just had Carolyn, and from what Reikor told me, it didn't sound like electricity would work well against them.

The elevator stopped and we got out. Reikor led, occasionally telling me to stop while he looked at his screen-thing. Suddenly I heard a loud noise, and Reikor spun around, and I realized what happened.

I had sneezed.

Next I heard the most horrifying sound I ever heard. A loud, high pitched screeching. Suddenly, two things I assumed to be Zohnans came through the ceiling. They each stood at least six feet tall, but were hunched over. Like Reikor said, they had green, leathery skin. Long claws came from the end of each finger. I could see their fangs as their mouth opened. And they didn't smell too pleasant either.

"RUN!" Reikor said as he pulled out a gun, but it was too late. His shot only knocked one back, while the other jumped at me. I barely dodged, and it slammed through the wall. Which happened to be the lab wall, where many people were hiding, while others had guns aimed at the door. I ran inside after the Zohnan.

"Carolyn!" I yelled as soon as I saw her. "Go get Reikor, he's being attacked!" The Zohnan wasn't even on it's feet when Carolyn returned with Reikor next to her, his arm bleeding. The Scorpion was now coming after me. I could see people aiming at it.

"Don't shoot!" Lemyra yelled. "You'll hit him!"

"Relax," Aaron said. "Justin can handle this."

"He lives for this kind of stuff," Eric added.

"Are you two insane?" Carolyn yelled.

"He doesn't have his knives!" Amber said.

These last two comments did not fill me with confidence. However, you tend to ignore things like that when a monster is walking toward you ready to eat your head. I glanced around. The room was full of stuff; something had to be a weapon. Of course, anything is a weapon in my hands, but a lot of this stuff was very big. It dived at me. I jumped out of the way just in time. By the time I turned to look at it, it not only was on its feet, it had knocked me a good ten feet. I crashed onto a table full of...things. I had no time to guess what they were, I just threw them. They sailed like Frisbees, and one stuck into its stomach. I grabbed another one. This severed It's right arm clean off. It screamed in pain (I think).

I looked over and saw another pair of grapple gloves. I got a sudden idea and threw them on. The Zohnan lunged again. I used the glove to pull myself up and swing over it. Then I looked: the Zohnan was right in front of the window. I shot the grapple and swung just as it jumped at me. I put all my force forward. My foot hit it right in the chest, knocking it through the window. I let go and landed in front of the window just as a force field popped up to cover the hole. I heard the Zohnan scream as it fell to its death.

Indeed, I am the man.

However, before I had time to enjoy my victory, I heard another scream. I turned to look, and saw the other Zohnan (you know, the one I had forgotten about by now) flying towards me. I stepped out of the way, but it hit the force field, kicked off, landed on it's feet in front of me, and knocked my ass across the room. I slammed against the wall, fell to the ground, and Ugly started charging.

"Here!"

I looked over and saw Lemyra throwing me what looked like a knife. I caught it, but before I could throw it I realized it wasn't a knife. It looked like the hilt of a sword, but there was no blade. Suddenly, the Zohnan had me by the throat. It raised me off the ground.

"Let him go!" Carolyn shouted. It looked at her as she sent electricity flying at him. It didn't seem to have much effect on him. It did, however, go right through his arm and into me. Carolyn realized this quickly (though it felt like an eternity) and stopped, yelling something like "Oh shit!" The Zohnan sent me into another wall. It took me a while to get my head straight. By then Lemyra was yelling.

"Activate the blade! Use the button!"

"It's a sword, use it!" Eric added.

Gee, aren't my friends helpful against monsters. I looked for a button, and pressed it. A beam of light came out, and I realized I now had a lightsaber. However, the light solidified into just a regular blade. Just then, the Zohnan grabbed my neck again. It opened it's freaky mouth. Deciding to save my disappointment for later, I slammed the blade into it's mouth. It came out the other end and stuck into the wall. It let me go, and I backed away. I watched it scream in pain as it died. Except it didn't. It pulled the sword out of it's mouth and threw it at me. I dodged, caught it by the handle, and turned to see the Zohnan charging again. I swung the sword upwards.

The Zohnan stopped dead in it's tracks. It fell to it's knees. The right half of it's body fell forwards, the left fell to the side.

Everyone in the room erupted in cheers.

"Incredible!" Lemyra said. "I've never seen anyone take out one Zohnan single-handedly, let alone two!"

"Bloody impressive, mate!" Reikor said.

"Are you ok?" Carolyn asked. "I'm sorry I electrocuted you."

"At least you didn't kill me," was all I could come up with. "I'm gonna go sit down. Over there." I walked across the room and sat on a chair next to a table of other assorted gadgets. I looked at the sword in my hand. It was a really nice sword. I pressed the button again. The blade glowed for a second, and then vanished, leaving only the hilt. Easy to conceal, easy to carry, and dead useful in a fight. I decided to keep it as a souvenir and add it to my arsenal of knives, just incase we ever ran into someone like Razh or Volren again.

"Nice job against the monster."

I looked up to see my friends had joined me.

"Please tell me there aren't any more," I said.

"Nope," said Amber, "they got the rest."

"We would've helped," Aaron began, "but Eric doesn't have his suit, and my powers aren't working..."

"And it turns out they're kind of...electric-proof," added Carolyn.

"Why, did you shock one earlier?" I asked.

"Dude, I just accidentally fried you."

"I thought you just aimed at him and missed," I joked. They laughed a little.

"Seriously," Amber said. "Are you ok?"

"Hey," I replied, "I fell off the damn Amaco building. I ain't afraid of a few...million volts of electricity."

"I'm serious!" Amber said, fed up with my smart-ass comments again.

"So am I," I said. "I'm fine. I heal fast, remember?"

Increased nerve conduction is kind of a two-sided sword. See, when I get some kind of injury, say a cut or a broken bone, my nerves react so fast that any bleeding stops almost immediately, and the reconstruction of broken skin/bone/tissue is sped way up. The down side is that my nerves are way more sensitive, which means that any physical stimulus to them (like, say, pain) is magnified, so it hurts me way more. While this isn't a problem with most everyday things, it makes getting thrown through a brick wall way more painful for me than for anyone else. Which is why I usually have ice on me after encountering a super villain. Thankfully, most pains are gone by the time I wake up the next morning.

******************************************************************************************

Our remaining time in Nazjia was thankfully uneventful. Finally, we were on our way home. The machine was up and running, and we were saying our goodbyes. They let me keep the sword, and Reikor even gave me a pair of grapple gloves.

"Well," I said, "if you ever want some Zohnans killed, just give me a call."

"Don't be cocky, mate," Reikor said. "Next time you might have more."

"I certainly hope you will never have to deal with them again," Lemyra said. "Good bye my friends."

"Good bye," said Amber.

"Bye," said Aaron.

"See you later," said Carolyn.

"Good bye," said Eric.

"Fuck," I said, "now I gotta go back to shitty Wisconsin."

"Until we all meet again," said Lemyra.

"Ekthyna," said Reikor. I assumed it meant "goodbye", or some variation of it. With that, we entered the portal, and when the light came back, we were back at Carolyn's cabin.

********************************************************************************************

"We have confirmation that the Re'em is hiding in the mountains in Tibet, presumably in the Himalayas," Dr. Norton said. "And Lord Ragnaravik has no information on anything that resembles our findings."

"Great," said Zammitt. "So we got an unknown being with alien technology running around a major U.S. city."

Suddenly, another agent burst into Zammitt's office.

"Sir, we decoded the computer. You need to see this." Zammitt and Norton followed the agent to another room with several monitors. One had the space trajectory Navajas and Bolt saw.

"It's another alien," the agent said. "According to this, it's from Drovarlis." This caught Zammitt’s attention.

"What?" he asked.

"Drovarlis."

"Impossible," Norton said as he and Zammitt examined the screen. "Kevin, Drovarlis was destroyed before you even joined the agency."

"Vince, are you sure about this?" Zammitt asked the other agent.

"We're waiting for biological data on Drovarlians from the Faritians," Vincent, the other agent, said, "but if that map is correct, the ship launched from Drovarlis and has not landed anywhere since."

"Roger, you've been here longer than me," Zammitt said, "Does anyone know how Drovarlis was destroyed?"

"No," said Norton.

"We also found what looks like a video recording from inside the room," Vincent said.

"Show me," Zammitt said. Vincent hit a few buttons and an image appeared on a larger monitor. There was no sound, but Zammitt saw what looked like two normal people in the room with a large, green humanoid. He watched Bolt and Navajas' fight with Volren. The video would've been worthless, if not for their powers being displayed.

"What in the hell?" Zammitt asked himself after seeing Bolt electrocute the alien. "There's no species that can do that, is there?" he asked Norton. Norton shook his head.

"They are real..." Vincent said under his breath.

"What?" Zammitt asked him.

"I've heard all about them," he said. "The "super heroes" from Chicago. There were several sightings, but no proof they actually existed. But they're right there."

"Super heroes?" Norton asked.

"Like in the comic books."

"That's bullshit," Norton said.

"But it's playing right in front of us," Zammitt said. "I've heard the rumors. Vincent, see if there's any more video and try to get some sound. I want to know who or what the hell those people were." He left the room, Norton following him.

"Do you really believe this?" he asked.

"There are enough rumors going around to look into it," Zammitt said. "I know they're just rumors, but that video is more proof than we ever had with Re'em, and he turned out to be true. I want you to focus on the green guy and follow up this "Drovarlis" lead."

"Yes sir," Norton said, and left. Zammitt returned to his office. He dialed an extension on his phone.

"Heyden? It's Zammitt. Assemble a team; you're going to Chicago. There might be some people I want to talk to. Parker's in the lab, he'll tell you what you'll be looking for."

**************************************************************************************

Two weeks after our adventure in Maderious came what, had it not been for the web swinging and flying car ride, would have been the highlight of my entire summer: VanHalen, live in concert, with Sammy Hagar back as lead singer. I was beside myself with excitement. Molly and Liz went with me, since my parents lost their fondness for concerts years ago. Dad said he'd seen them plenty of times already anyway.

Needless to say, it rocked. I annoyed my sisters since I involuntarily sang half the songs. Man, can Eddie play. Watching his fingers move is something that cannot be described with words. So I won't bother attempting to do so. His kid even came out and played. Yes, it runs in the family. Fucking incredible show. I can now die happy.

The rest of the summer (i.e. the month of August) was pretty tame. It played out just like every other summer, you know, the ones where I didn't have powers. My birthday came and went. As usual, my friends and I went to Gameworks to celebrate. Nothing beats two straight hours of Dance Dance Revolution for only $20.

Sorry if you were expecting any more adventures. Like I said, being a super hero isn't all excitement and adventure. Most of it is just living out your life. Plus, when your girlfriend starts asking where you keep disappearing to, you welcome a break. And during that break, you thank God for everyday where no lunatics try to destroy the planet.