Since as long as anyone alive today can remember, people have greeted each other, be it with a wave, a handshake, a nod, or some verbal utterance. The greeting is meant as an sign of friendship, as if to tell the person greeted that you are glad to see him and he is welcome in your presence.

As heartfelt as this greeting probably started out being, and occasionally still is, the greeting has gotten to be a habitual rite, often performed with no real feeling of appreciation for the presence of the person greeted. This has led to the standardization of the greeting process. There are now certain ways deemed appropriate to greet certain people, while for others, the standard may be less. One would not address a Prime Minister, a President, and certainly not myself with the informal "Hey, how's it hangin'?" that one would use to greet a chum. This is all within the boundaries of reason.

However, one leaves the land of the sane and even wanders out of the domain of the amusing and ventures into the realm of the ridiculous when the discussion of the timing comes up. This is to say that one must know how long before seeing someone on the street is deemed "long enough" before the greeting can be initiated. If I yell, "Hello!" to Bob while he is still halfway up the block, I will appear to be too eager to see Bob. However, if I wait too long, and greet Bob only as he passes me, I may appear to be waiting for Bob to offer a greeting first, and give myself a different negative image. This topic has been discussed in the comics page, in the Dilbert strip, and on the show Seinfeld. How long is the right amount of time to wait before greeting your neighbor? Dilbert advises that once you see someone you know, you must turn your head to the wall so as not to give the impression of having noticed them. When you can sense the person within a 5-foot radius of yourself, then turn in his direction and offer the appropriate greeting. Dilbert does not address what happens if this person happens to change course, or how to avoid giving off the impression that you are too self-absorbed to notice the other fellow. Maybe he feels that that is too much to worry about.

As I stated earlier, this whole topic is beyond the worries of a sound mind. (Insanity is one thing; Nitpicking is another) Additionally, I feel that if the founding fathers knew that we would be analyzing the science of greetings instead of turning our attention to bettering our economic situation or resolving our racial differences, they would shake their wigged heads in disappointment.