Vol 1, Number1
"I don't get you!"
Have you ever been speaking to someone and suddenly had no idea what they were saying? Not because you couldn't hear them or because they were speaking another language-That's nothing unique. The words they say are English and each one makes sense by itself, but... what the heck are they saying? Perhaps you've been in a situation where the roles were reversed. You're talking to some person when suddenly, as you begin to talk at length, confusion clouds his face. His eyes narrow as he tries to determine what it is you are saying. He's paying rapt attention, but you can tell you're not making any sense to him. Now, unless the person was talking about some complex scientific theorem you had never heard of (or was purposely stringing together random words in a nonsensical phrase in an attempt to drive you absolutely bonkers- not an altogether unlikely possibility), there is a good chance you are experiencing what is known throughout the scientific community as the Wavelength Theory. The Wavelength Theory (discovered, documented and patented by yours truly) starts with the well-known fact that sound travels in waves. Every sound has its own wavelength and frequency, and it is due to these differences that there are different sounds. However, what is not as widely known is that there is another variable that changes from person to person, depending on their normality. Let us call this the Normality Interference Factor. A fairly normal (read: boring) person will talk and produce a sound with very little Normality Interference. They will be easily understood, though the ease in hearing them can induce large-scale boredom and perhaps even the onset of slumber. However, when dealing with a slightly more weirdness-enhanced (sometimes referred to as personality-endowed) individual, there is an increase in the frequency of this other soundwave, which to the more normal (also referred to as diversity-disabled) person will come through as interference. This will limit the ability of his brain to process and comprehend what is being said, even though there is nothing intrinsically complicated about what is being said. The presence of this additional sound information causes this unfortunate individual to "not get it." This slight additional sensory input causes a temporary lock-up of the senses, a loop process in the brain trying to process the information, which prevents the immediate or even eventual understanding of what was said. However, the weirder elements of our society who have this ability to baffle the unfortunate folks who happen to have been born more normal are fully capable of recognizing and processing the higher frequency sound information that comes along with speech from a weird person. In fact, they are delighted when they find that they can't "get someone," and recognize that for once, the shoe is on the other foot, and they are being "outweirded." This presents them with the challenge of bringing up their ability to receive and transmit on a higher weirdness frequency level. It is also quite amusing to these people to watch the more normal folks try to transmit a higher weirdness than they are capable of. They chuckle to themselves, knowing that a person cannot broadcast on a frequency higher than they can receive. So the next time you see or give baffled looks in mid-conversation, be aware that you are witnessing a phenomenon that is a hot topic of discourse in the modern scientific and psychological fields. If you don't get your friend, reach deep within you for the power to increase your scope of weirdness receptivity. If you are not gotten, take it as encouragement and congratulate yourself on having reached the level of weirdness that you have, and of course, reach out to your less fortunate brethren and help them understand the true joys of being weird.