Q- How do I prepare for a DTT race?
A- Plenty of gasoline, a place to crash, and amphetamines are good start. Having a few maps doesn't hurt either.
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Q- How should I interact with the other teams?
A- Attempting to get them drunk the night before is an old standby that works well. Questioning their choice of vehicles and talking about their mothers and/or girl/boy friends is accepted and encouraged.
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Q- If I encounter another team receiving a speeding ticket, how should I respond?
A- Honking or the "finger" is certainly appropriate. However, the Navigator "moon" is by far the best approach.
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Q- I am easily offended, should I participate?
A- No
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Q- What happens in St. Mary's after the race?
A- Drinking, and lots of it. We have not had a race yet where someone doesn't vomit from the second story balcony. We had one team wake up with a 300lb. local woman named Lola. Those who feel like it, or remain sober, may want to visit Cumberland Island on Saturday.
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Q- What's the reaction of the local authorities? Aren't you afraid of going to jail?
A- The police have varying degrees of excitement about the event. Many are impressed with the speed one can achieve with a car held together with loctite and duct tape. Others will attempt to hunt you down and make you squeal like a pig. If a team makes it to jail, we will present a special "Deliverance" Award for your dedication to the race. Of course you won't be at the ceremony to accept it, so we'll probably just keep drinking.
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Q- Why don't you let modern cars enter the challenge?
A- You are a wuss for even asking this question. This is a challenge. Is driving a modern car 300 miles much of a challenge? People with cars this age, capable of such a journey, tend to have a better sense of automotive and self preservation than your average "rice-burner" pilot. It also makes us look really cool, and the single people really want to get laid.----------------------
Q- What kind of people participate in something like this?
A- Garbage men, Lawyers, Salesmen, Mechanics, Pharmacists, Strippers, Stock Brokers, Office Workers, Part time Poets, Nurses, Philosophers, Cartographers, Lithographers, Prostitutes, Doctors, Geographers....well hell, you get the idea.
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Q- Is the conversation at the bar in St. Marys civil and politically correct?
A: Yes, especially if you've spent any time on an offshore oil rig, or possibly a pirate ship. Also, If you are a militant feminist or a whining, mama's boy, liberal, pinko-commie fag you will not find the conversation any fun.
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Q- This bartender woman, Cindy, is she sweet?
A- Uhhhhhh................sweet?....................uh, yeah, yeah, real sweet. Sort of like wiping your ass with sandpaper. Ask her how she got her Corvette, Gold rings and Diamond stud. Even better, ask her where her favorite place is to put her diamond stud. On second thought, stay away...., stay far, far away......In short, If you drive like Fangio, navigate like Magellan, and drink like Gary Hansford, you will do just fine..
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