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GameFAQs Message Boards: Action - Atari 2600
Bionic Breakthrough
Message Board
Game Info
World domination HQ
Scum (32): Board List | Topic List | Post New Message | Log Out | FAQ
From: The One Truth | Posted: 10/30/2001 9:42:55 AM | Message Detail
"Soon, very soon, all this will be mine...mine...MINE!!! My secret base is impenetrable! From here, I shall hatch my devious plans of global conquest! Men shall perish, women will mourn, and cities will burn...BWAHAHAHA..." </diabolical_laughter>

"Computer! Patch me through to my most nefarious minion of the dark...the cold-blooded prince of villians himself...Santiago the Cyber-Monkey!"

*machines click and whir*

*the unsettling face of electro-primate evil fills the monitor screen*

"You beckoned me, o unholy ruler of all things text-based?"

"I did. How are the preparations coming along?"

"All is well, my insipid master of maliciousness. Er..."

"What's the matter, monkey?"

"Well, there is one small detail..."

"Out with it! Of what do you speak?"

"Has your fiendishness considered what to do about Scum?"

"Scum???"

"Yes, o disgraceful one...Everytime we set up a secret board, he finds it. Then, he mskes some smart-ass remarks..."

"Hmm...This Scum could be a nuisance to me. I truat that can deal with him?"

"As you wish, master."

*the monkey blinks out*

"Scum...soon your life will be mine...Today, GameFAQS...Tomorrow, THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHA..."
From: The One Truth | Posted: 10/30/2001 12:20:18 PM | Message Detail
"For thousands of minutes I have lain dormant, imprisoned by the elder gods in a puny one-bedroom flat w/balcony and a cozy little breakfast nook...waiting, waiting for the day when I might once again rise to rain down terror upon the Earth...

"Finally, the time has come for me to once again wage a war against the forces of light! Once the world realizes the awesome might of my infernal army of cybernetically-enhanced baboons, nothing can stop me! NOTHING!!!"

---
"There is only one truth: Kamisama." --Lain
From: The One Truth | Posted: 10/30/2001 12:26:14 PM | Message Detail
*eats Detroit*

---
"There is only one truth: Kamisama." --Lain
From: The One Truth | Posted: 11/1/2001 11:20:00 AM | Message Detail
Transcript of a communication from ground forces to the monkey mainframe [11/01/01]:

"Despite fierce resistance from Mothra, Tokyo is ours...Paused for grooming..."

---

Splendid...Soon karaoke will be a thing of the past...Mwahaha...

---
"There is only one truth: Kamisama." --Lain
From: Scum | Posted: 11/4/2001 12:36:07 PM | Message Detail
Huh...
From: renholder | Posted: 11/15/2001 10:20:35 AM | Message Detail
Uhhhh...I, uh...errrr...I don't know what to say about this...
From: Interceptor | Posted: 11/20/2001 7:29:50 PM | Message Detail
I do.
From: RdDragon | Posted: 11/26/2001 6:14:40 AM | Message Detail
Well?

---
Any clod can have the facts; having opinions is an art.
From: superaielman | Posted: 11/27/2001 1:13:59 AM | Message Detail
LOL.
---
*Assassin and Gemini zodiac brave of the FFTSB*
*1/2 of the Super Squall Haters of the FFTSB*
From: Scum | Posted: 11/28/2001 1:43:25 PM | Message Detail
Oh, I wish I would've read the whole thing now. I didn't know it was about me!

Uh... If the monkey blinked out, then why is the sky blue?

From: Turd Ferguson | Posted: 12/6/2001 8:08:32 PM | Message Detail
Why indeed.
---
Horses say "neigh," but the hint shop says "yea" to giving you a hint. - Eagleland Hint Union
From: Interceptor | Posted: 12/22/2001 11:23:29 PM | Message Detail
I have to say, "bug."
From: The One Truth | Posted: 1/2/2002 2:48:26 PM | Message Detail
Fools!!! You walked right into my trap!!! NONE OF YOU WILL LEAVE THIS TOPIC ALIVE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
From: Scum | Posted: 1/5/2002 12:00:49 AM | Message Detail
But I, I feel so alive! For the very first time...
From: Notti | Posted: 1/25/2002 9:14:58 AM | Message Detail
AM I TRAPPED? I AM DOOM...ed!
---
•~• •¦• Nottingham •~• •¦•
‡‡ "Never gonna get me. Never gonna get me. Never gonna get me I'm the..." ‡‡
From: The One Truth | Posted: 2/3/2002 3:46:00 AM | Message Detail
Huh? Oh, sorry, I was distracted by some sissies at the FFX board. Side note: Who knew that moderators could translate Al Bhed?

Let's see now, where was I...Oh yeah! Monkeys!

"Come, my nefarious monkey minions! Your master beckons you! Kill these people! Make sure that they suffer horribly! And, for the love of god QUIT PICKING YOUR NOSE!!! It makes a bad impression! Nobody's afraid of a tyrannical antagonist whose diabolical minions go around with snotty fingers all the time! It just looks bad!"

"Please forgive me, o treacherous one. It won't happen again."

"Fine! Now make with the killin'! Kill them all until their dead. And kill Scum twice. And be quick about it, I have a manicure in an hour, you know how I hate to reschedule these things."

"How shall I kill them, o dark and morbid--"

"WTF DO YOU MEAN 'HOW'??? I DON'T KNOW! You're the damn cyber-monkey, you figure it out! I mean, how do you NORMALLY do these things??? Don't you monkeys--HEY! WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU! NEXT TIME I SEE YOU DO THAT I'LL SEVER YOUR FINGER, UNDERSTAND?"

"Sorry, sir."

"Don't you monkeys carry phasers or light sabers or anything like that?"

"Phasers, sir?"

"Yeah, there in all the big sci-fi movies, y'know..."

"We have no phasers, master...They were cut from the budget to free up funds for Your Vileness' collection of life-size BayWatch sculptures."

"Oh? Well, we must have priorities, you see. Okay, just use your supermonkey strength to squash them, or something."

"Yes, master."

*And so, the hordes of imminently evil and disgustingly snotty-fingered monkeys descend upon the topic, their minds possessed by sinister thoughts: Terror! Mayhem! Bananas! Will our heroes survive? Does anyone care? Find out next time...or don't*
From: NinjaMaster | Posted: 2/4/2002 2:44:44 AM | Message Detail
It is taking you an awful long time to take over the world and stuff.
---
Anyway, when kids today want to say "That's ok, man" they say: "It's all green beans, diggity dawg!"~Turd
‡FFT UnLegend‡
From: The One Truth | Posted: 2/4/2002 2:38:45 PM | Message Detail
THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF THING YOU DO OVERNIGHT, YA KNOW! It takes patience and planning...not to mention the army of cybernetic monkeys. Besides, even us arch-villian archetypes need a vacation every now and then...NOW GET IN LINE AND PREPARE TO DIE WITH THE OTHERS!
From: Hommie G | Posted: 2/6/2002 8:12:17 PM | Message Detail
::gets out of line::
---
And this is the Spaceballs Flamethrower. Its quite popular with the kids!-Yogurt
CS Rank:5 Lethal <SFA>
From: superaielman | Posted: 2/7/2002 7:59:57 AM | Message Detail
another LOL is needed.
---
*Assassin and Gemini zodiac brave of the FFTSB*
"I'm too sexy to be beaten by you fools!"- Stinger, Saturday Night Slam Masters.
From: The One Truth | Posted: 2/9/2002 6:42:13 PM | Message Detail
WE'LL SEE IF YOU'RE STILL LAUGHING WHEN THERE'S A SUPER-SIZED BABOON FOOT IN YOUR ARSE!!!

*sees Hommie G step out of line*

Ack! He's trying to escape! Seal the perimeter! Make sure no one leaves without being horribly mutilated first!

YOU ARE ALL MONKEY FODDER!!!
From: Infinite Rebirth | Posted: 2/22/2002 8:51:12 AM | Message Detail
*Breaks through the window on a rope like Indiana Jones*

I'm here everybody! What's going on? *Looks around* Er maybe this was a bad time....

*Sees the monkey*

No anything but that! DRUNKEN MONKIES NOOOOOOOOOO!
---
Er...need sig....
From: The One Truth | Posted: 2/22/2002 6:19:09 PM | Message Detail
HEY! I just fixed that window last week! Whaddya hafta go break it for??? AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! Now I'm REALLY PISSED!

*rips sleeves alá Ninja Scroll*
*flies into the air and powers up a DBZ-sized aura bolt*

PREPARE TO WITNESS THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY POWER! PREPARE TO--huh?

*sputter*
.
.
.
.
.
*fizzle*
.
.
.
.
.
*plunk*

Okay, okay...which one of you clowns unplugged my atomic aura bolt generator? Real funny, guys, real MATURE...
From: outbreakorn | Posted: 2/27/2002 3:13:04 AM | Message Detail
...
---
Lock the door, kill the light, No one's coming home tonight. It's getting colder. Locked in a place where no one goes~****ing Tool
From: The One Truth | Posted: 3/1/2002 4:41:53 PM | Message Detail
Is that the best you can do? Watch this:

.............................................................................

PH34R MY 0M1N0US 3XT3ND3D S1L3NC3
From: superaielman | Posted: 3/10/2002 12:42:25 PM | Message Detail
*holds up the sliced plug to the generator*
you looking for this?
---
*Heartless Maestro of the FFTSB Member Battles.*
"I'm too sexy to be beaten by you fools!"- Stinger, Saturday Night Slam Masters.
From: The One Truth | Posted: 3/10/2002 7:01:36 PM | Message Detail
,¸,¸,¸,¸,
>Ó.ò<
(_~__)
^
|
This is a monkey...

,¸,¸,¸,¸,
>ÒvÓ<
((vvvvv))
^
|
This is said monkey about to devour superaielman...
From: superaielman | Posted: 3/16/2002 7:24:37 AM | Message Detail
This said superaielman has the power of RI on his side!
muhahahahaha...... your monkeys cannont stop me!
From: Scum | Posted: 3/18/2002 10:21:52 PM | Message Detail
Monkeys don't have to stop you, they're too cool to be held by the laws of the universe. Monkeys are, that's all.
From: Mogster | Posted: 3/19/2002 9:30:08 PM | Message Detail
You go girl.
---
I'm kupo for kupo nuts!
From: The One Truth | Posted: 3/20/2002 4:19:37 PM | Message Detail
Mogster:

We regret to inform you that no applications for "baboon's chew toy" are being accepted at this time. All positions are currently filled. Thank you for your inquiry, please come again.

--The Management

.
.
.
.
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Intermission

Now, for your amusement, Chester the Chimp has volunteered to perform a moving rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings."

*ahem*

"EEK eekeEkeek EEkeEKeek EeKeek!!!"

Thank you, Chester, that was lovely. We now return you to the regularly-scheduled global conquest.
From: The One Truth | Posted: 3/20/2002 5:00:50 PM | Message Detail
"So, you think you're too strong for my monkeys, eh? Well, I didn't get to be Supreme Lord of Evil by just scratching my ass, ya know! I happen to have a vast array of really evil stuff at my command! Bear witness to my technological genius! Monkeys, bring forth my newest instrument of terror!"

"The bionic pillow-fluffer, master?"

"No, no...the other one. Ah, there it is! BEHOLD! I call this the Super-Stupendous-Mega-Ultimate-Laser-Thingamabob! It funnels accelerated atomic particles into a thin beam burning at 50,000,000,000° Kelvin! MWAHAHA!!! There is no escape for you now! Monkey, activate the particle accelerator!"

"Check."

"Engage target lock!"

"Check."

"Defibrilize positron core! Wave frequency at .002! Stabilize gizmometer!"

"Check, check, check."

"Now, form Voltron--er, I mean FIRE!!!"
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*ten seconds later, amidst a pile of rubble*

"Damn, I didn't even know this thing HAD a lens cap...It's days like this I wish I'd never listened to my guidance counselor..."
From: Interceptor | Posted: 4/7/2002 4:08:59 AM | Message Detail
I see...
From: FBI Porker | Posted: 4/17/2002 12:49:22 AM | Message Detail
Too long to read. Not enough time.
---
|¯ |¯) | . |¯)|¯| |¯) | / |_¯ |¯)
|¯ |_) | . |¯ |_| |¯\ | \.|__ |¯\
From: Dawn7 | Posted: 4/28/2002 1:34:36 AM | Message Detail
...?

---
Awake good! Awake forever! Confusion good! Sleep bad! Staple cookies good! TV good! Weekend good! @_@
- Dawn7
From: GoIdfinger | Posted: 5/20/2002 3:01:13 AM | Message Detail
*post*
---
Goldfinger, a highly trained assassin that hunts for secret boards and will shroom all who gets in his way.
From: SECRETB0ARDP0LICE | Posted: 6/3/2002 12:29:51 AM | Message Detail
Only I can make a true bionic breakthrough.
---
Secret Board Police ™
Steadily enforcing non-existent laws all over the secret boards...
From: SecretGameSeeker | Posted: 6/24/2002 4:09:05 AM | Message Detail
world domination HQ. catchy title dont you think?
From: Interceptor | Posted: 6/25/2002 1:39:13 AM | Message Detail
You can think?
From: Scum | Posted: 7/1/2002 4:35:43 PM | Message Detail
No, no one can think. That was just a lie. If people could think, I think that I'd be able to.
From: CKgamedude | Posted: 7/10/2002 8:47:09 PM | Message Detail
Apple you too.
---
Hugs are bunnies and bunnies are nice.
From: FBI Porker 2 | Posted: 7/19/2002 5:52:27 AM | Message Detail
Apple to apple.
---
Same Second Posts: 5
'Damn FBI, you don't give a ****. That's mad gangsta yo...' ~ Kirby still on top
From: secretboardhunter | Posted: 8/1/2002 9:51:24 PM | Message Detail
Dust to dust.
---
Am I tough? I'll have you know I stubbed my toe the other day while watering my spice garden and only cried for 20 minutes. SBSP
From: Sky Olivine | Posted: 8/9/2002 4:07:16 PM | Message Detail
::wanders in::
::leaves a message::
"Oh well..."
::disappears::

---
Once you've come to a decision, follow through with it and give it your all, so you have no regrets.
From: Interceptor | Posted: 8/19/2002 2:44:30 AM | Message Detail
*brings up water from the ol' well*
From: Scum | Posted: 8/20/2002 2:53:40 AM | Message Detail
*puts down apple water from the new well*

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