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Captain Haddock's Insults Per Book

Here are lists of Captain Haddock's name-calling insults per Tintin book. Each name is listed in the order it was said. It also says who Captain is saying it to. Not all of the Tintin books are here, but more and more are being added all the time until there's all the Captain insults from all the Tintin books.

Here is the first book, The Crab with the Golden Claws, the book where Captain Haddock first came into Tintin's world.

1. [to Tintin] 'Miserable wipper-snapper'
2. [to Tintin] ‘Meddlesome cabin-boy’
3. [about himself] Miserable
4. [about himself] Wretch
5. [to seaplane shooting at them] Beasts
6. [to seaplane] Swine
7. [to seaplane] Cowards
8. [to the two crooks form the plane] Gangsters
9. [to Tintin] ‘Pig-headed’
10. [to Tintin] Crazy
11. [about Tintin] Confounded
12. [to Arab raiders] Scoundrels
13. [to Arab raiders] Jellyfish
14. [to Arab raiders] Tramps
15. [to Arab raiders] Troglodytes
16. [to Arab raiders] ‘Toffee-noses’
17. [to Arab raiders] Savages
18. [to Arab raiders] Aztecs
19. [to Arab raiders] Toads
20. [to Arab raiders] 'Carpet-sellers’
21. [to Arab raiders] Iconoclasts
22. [to Arab raiders] Rats
23. [to Arab raiders] Ectoplasms
24. [to Arab raiders] ‘Freshwater swabs’
25. [to Arab raiders] ‘Bashi-bazouks’
26. [to Arab raiders] Cannibals
27. [to Arab raiders] Caterpillars
28. [to Arab raiders] Baboons
29. [to Arab raiders] Parasites
30. [to Arab raiders] Pockmarks
31. [about one of them] Pirate
32. [about a nonexistent pick-pocket] Robbers
33. [to police] Disgraceful
34. [to the whole city] Pick-pockets
35. [to Allan and a crook] Bandits
36. [to Allan and a crook] Brutes
37. [to a crook who took his wine bottle] Bully
38. [to that crook] Treason
39. [to that crook] Twister
40. [to that crook] Heretic
41. [to that crook] ‘Slave-trader’
42. [to that crook] Technocrat
43. [to that crook] Buccaneer
44. [to that crook] Vegetarian
45. [to that crook] Politician
46. [to that crook] Corsair
47. [to Allan] Harlequin
48. [to Allan] Hydrocarbon
49. [to Allan] Aborigine
50. [to Allan] Polynesian
51. [to Allan] Gyroscope
52. [to a crook] Blackamoor
53. [to a crook] Anthracite
54. [to a crook] Coconut
55. [to a crook] ‘Fuzzy-wuzzy’
56. [to a crook] Anthropithecus
57. [to a crook] ‘Black bird’
58. [to a crook] Nincompoop
59. [to a crook] Anacoluthon
60. [to a crook] Invertebrate
61. [to a crook] Liquorice

The Shooting Star
Now here is all of Captain’s insults in this book. (This one tells who he's addressing to.)
1. [to whoever tried to blow their ship up] Pyromaniac
2. [to Professor Phostle] Gangster
3. [to Professor Phostle] Rat
4. [to Professor Phostle] Dynamiter
5. [to Professor Phostle] Shipwrecker
6. [to Professor Phostle] Centipede
7. [to the ship that tried to sabotage their’s] Pirates
8. [to that same ship] Shipwreckers
9. [to that same ship] Sea-lice
10. [to that same ship] Filibusters
12. [to that same ship] Road-hogs
13. [to that same ship] ‘Freshwater swabs’
14. [to that same ship] Lunatic
15. [to the lairs at Golden Oil] Pirates
16. [to the Golden Oil people] ‘Gang of thieves’
17. [to the Golden Oil people] ‘Black marketeers’
18. [to the Golden Oil people] Monopolizers
19. [to the Golden Oil people] Turncoats
20. [to the Golden Oil people] Ophicleides
21. [to the Golden Oil people] Colocynths
22. [to the Golden Oil people] Crooks
23. [to the Golden Oil people] Twisters
24. [to the Golden Oil people] Caterpillars
25. [to Snowy] ‘Dratted animal’
26. [to Snowy] Pirate
27. [to the “Peary” expedition] ‘Patagonian pirates’
28. [to the “Peary” expedition] ‘Lily-livered landlubbers’
29. [to sponsors of the “Peary” expedition] Pirates
30. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Gangsters
31. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Twisters
32. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Traitors
33. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Woodlice
34. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Turncoats
35. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Shipwreckers
36. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Mountebanks
37. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Moujiks
38. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Rhizopods
39. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Ectoplasms
40. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Pirate

Red Rackham's Treasure
1. [to Red Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Freshwater pirates’
2. [to Red Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Fancy dress freebooters’
3. [about Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Gang of theives’
4. [to Professor Calculus] Bashi-bazouk
5. [to Calculus] ‘Bragging nitwit’
6. [about person who took his whisky] Crook
7. [about person who took all whisky] Monster
8. [to Calculus] Wretch
9. [to Calculus] Wretch
10. [to Calculus] Ignoramus
11. [to Calculus] ‘Abominable Snowman’
12. [to mysterious voice] Pockmark
13. [to mysterious voice] ‘Gibbering ghost’
14. [to the voice] Polynesian
15. [to the voice] Cannibal
16. [to the voice] Iconoclast
17. [to parrots (they were the voice)] Iconoclasts
18. [to the parrots] Bandits
19. [to monkeys] Baboons
20. [to monkeys] Monkeys (LOL)
21. [to monkeys] Gibbons
22. [to monkeys] Orang-outangs
23. [to monkeys] Cercopithecuses
24. [to sharks] Brutes
25. [to the Thompsons] ‘Impersonations of Abominable Snowmen’
26. [about Thompsons] Jelly-fishes
27. [to Thompsons] Sea-gherkins
28. [to Thompsons] ‘Freshwater swabs’
29. [to Thomosons] Ectoplasms
30. [to Thompsons] Bashi-bazouks
31. [to Thompsons] Nitwits
32. [to Thomson] Nincompoop
33. [to Calculus] ‘Certified ignoramus’
34. [to Calculus] ‘Olympic athlete’

The Seven Crystal Balls
1. [about Alcazar] ‘Second-rate son of a sword-swallower’
2. [about Calculus] ‘Old goat’
3. [to people shooting at him] Cannibals
4. [to people shooting at him] Caterpillars
5. [to people shooting at him] Troglodytes
6. [to people shooting at him] Tramps
7. [to people shooting at him] Ectoplasms
8. [to people shooting at him] Sea-gherkins
9. [to crooks getting away] ‘Tribe of savages’
10. [to crooks getting away] Vampires
11. [to crooks getting away] Monsters
12. [about the crooks] Rats
13. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] ‘Band of thugs’
14. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] Rattlesnakes
15. [about the kidnappers] Pirates
16. [about the kidnappers] Bashi-bazouks
17. [to police officer] Loon
18. [about the kidnappers] Iconoclasts
19. [about the kidnappers] Vampires
20. [to car that splashed him] Gangsters
21. [to that car] Road-hogs
22. [to that car] Mountebanks
23. [to that car] Steamrollers
24. [to that car] Nyctalops
25. [to the car] Parasites
26. [to the car] Sea-gherkins
27. [to the car] Pock-marks
28. [to the car] Cannibals
29. [to cargo movers] Numbskulls
30. [to cargo movers] Hi-jackers
31. [to cargo movers] Kleptomaniacs
32. [to cargo movers] Body-snatchers
33. [to two kids] Vagabonds
34. [to two kids] Hooligans
35. [to two kids] Iconoclasts
36. [about the two kids] Jackanapes
37. [about the two kids] Pirates
38. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] Gangsters

Prisoners of the Sun
1. [to llama] ‘Ungrateful brute’
2. [to the Thompsons] Nitwits
3. [to Thomson] Landlubber
4. [to Tintin] Studid
5. [to the bad guys] Guanogatherers
6. [to bad guys] Iconoclasts
7. [to bad guys] Pirates
8. [to Snowy] Sealion
9. [to the Thompsons] Baboons
10. [to the bad guys (who kidnapped Calculus)] Gangsters
11. [to South Americans] Centipedes
12. [to llamas] Fire-pumps
13. [to llamas] ‘Moth-eaten imitation camels’
14. [to llama] ‘Misarable iconoclast’
15. [to a lizard] ‘Misarable reptile’
16. [to the kidnappers] Gangsters
17. [to the kidnappers] Bandits
18. [to the kidnappers] Filibusters
19. [to the kidnappers] Pirates
20. [to llamas] Raggle-taggle
21. [to llamas] Ruminants
22. [to llamas] ‘Cushion-footed’
23. [to llamas] Quadrupeds
24. [to llamas] Morons
25. [to bad guys] Filibusters
26. [to bad guys] Weevils
27. [to bad guys] Slubberdegullions
28. [to bad guys] Patagonians
29. [to bad guys] Bashi-bazouks
30. [to bad guys] Carpet-sellers
31. [to bad guys] Kleptomaniacs
32. [to monkeys] 'Pithecanthropic mountebanks'
33. [to mosquitoes] Beastly
34. [to alligators] 'Loathsome brutes'
35. [to attacking Incas] Anachronisms
36. [to Incas] Tramps
37. [to Incas] Zapotecs
38. [to Incas] Pockmarks
39. [to Incas] Pithecanthropuses
40. [to Incas] Bashi-bazouks
41. [to Incas] Savages
42. [to Incas] Sea-gherkins
43. [to Incas] Ectoplasms
44. [to Incas] Poltroons
45. [to Incas] Politicians
46. [to Incas] Doryphores
47. [to Incas] Terrorists
48. [to Noble Prince of the Sun] 'Tin-hatted tryant'
49. [to Incas] Savages

Land of Black Gold
Here are all Captain's insults from this book.
1. [to Muller (bad guy)] Beast
2. [to Muller] Baby-snatcher
3. [to Muller] Brigand
4. [to Muller] Baboon
5. [to Muller] Belemnite
6. [to Muller] Bully
7. [to Muller] Bougainvillea
8. [to Muller] Bashi-bazouk
9. [to Abdullah] Sea-gherkin
10. [to Abdullah] 'Duck-billed platypus'
11. [to Abdullah] 'Arabian Nightmare'
12. [to Muller] 'Cunning swine'
13. [to Professor Calculus] 'Nitwitted ninepin'

Explorers on the Moon
Here are all Captain’s insults from this book.
1. [to the Thompsons] Brontosaurus
2. [to himself] ‘Miserable wretch’
3. [to the Thompsons] Jelly-fishes
4. [to the Thompsons] Bashi-bazouks
5. [to Tintin] Donkey
6. [to whoever tried to leave without them] Nincompoop
7. [to Colonel Boris; Jorgen] Bashi-bazouk
8. [to Wolff and Jorgen] ‘Unfeeling monsters’
9. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Vivisectionists
10. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Torturers
11. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Cannibals
12. [to the Thompsons] Anacoluthons
13. [to Wolff] ‘Two-face traitor’
14. [to Jorgen] Pithecanthropus
15. [to Jorgen] Bashi-bazouk
16. [to Jorgen] Black-beetle
17. [to Wolff] Interplanetary-pirate
18. [to Wolff] Fresh-water-spaceman
19. [to Wolff] Snake
20. [to Thomson] ‘Nitwitted ninepin’
21. [to Wolff] Gangster
22. [to Wolff] Brute
23. [to Wolff] Cannibal
24. [to Thomson] Iconoclast
25. [to Thompson] Ectoplasms
26. [to Calculus] ‘Interplanetary goat’

The Calculus Affair
Even more of Captain's insults from this book.
1. [to the Thompsons] Road-hog
2. [to the Thompsons] Steam-roller
3. [to the Thompsons] Bully
4. [to the Thompsons] Dipsomaniac
5. [to crowd] Rubber-necks
6. [to Stefan, a crook] ‘Clumsy oaf’
7. [to Stefan] ‘Ectoplasmic byproduct’
8. [to Stefan] ‘Balkan beetle’
9. [to Stefan and the other crook] Brutes
10. [to Stefan and the other crook] Filibusters
11. [to Stefan and the other crook] Nitwits
12. [to Stefan and the other crook] Steam-rollers
13. [to Stefan and the other crook] Abecedarians
14. [to people in car passing by] ‘Fat-headed fire-raisers’
15. [to people in car passing by] ‘Nit-witted ninepins’
16. [to people in car passing by] Bashi-bazouks
17. [to people in car passing by] ‘Certified Diplodocuses’
18. [to Syldavian crooks] Brutes
19. [to Syldavian crooks] Gangsters
20. [to Syldavian crooks] Anacoluthons
21. [to Syldavian crooks] Bashi-bazouks
22. [to mosquito] Monster
23. [to Syldavian crooks] Gangsters
24. [to Jolyon Wagg] Ectoplasm
25. [to Jolyon Wagg] ‘Prize Purple jellyfish’
26. [to car that wouldn’t stop for them] Blackguards
27. [to that car] Egoists
28. [to that car] Nitwits
29. [to that car] Troglodytes
30. [to that car] Polygraphs
31. [to another car that wouldn’t stop for them] Beasts
32. [to that car^] Autocrats
33. [to that car^] Profiteers
34. [to that car] Fat faces
35. [to that car] Tramps
36. [to all car drivers] ‘Infernal mileage-merchants’
37. [to Arturo Benedetto Giovanni Guiseppe...ect., ect.] Bandit
38. [to Arturo] Anthropophagus
39. [to Arturo] Steam-roller
40. [to Arturo] Highwayman
41. [to Arturo] ‘Misquided missile’
42. [to Arturo] Bashi-bazouk
43. [to Arturo] Ectoplasm
44. [to Stefan and the other crook] ‘Carpathian Bashi-bazouks’
45. [to Stefan and the other crook] ‘Two-timing Tartar twisters’
46. [to bad guys] Gangsters
47. [to Colonel Sponsz] ‘Bareface liar’
48. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Flaming jack-in-a-box’

The Red Sea Sharks
1. [to General Alcazar] ‘Misguided missile’
2. [to the one who pulled a prank] ‘Son of a sea-gherkin’
3. [to Abdullah] Ruffian
4. [to Abdullah] Brat
5. [to Abdullah] Pest
6. [to Abdullah] Rapscallion
7. [to Professor Calculus] Goat
8. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Nitwitted numskull’
9. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Acting the goat’ (!!!)
10. [to Abdullah] Pest
11. [to airport people] Bashi-bazouks
12. [to muslim lady] ‘Fancy-dress Fatima’
13. [to Mostquito pilots] Bandits
14. [to Mostquito pilots] Pirates
15. [to Mostquito pilots] Gangsters
16. [to Skut] ‘Trigger-happy thug’
17. [to Skut] Ectoplasm
18. [to Scheherazade crew] Landlubbers
19. [to crooks aboard the Ramona] ‘Lubberly scum’
20. [to crook] ‘Insolent porcupine’
21. [to crooks] ‘Ill-mannered savages’
22. [to crooks] Rats
23. [to crooks] Wreckers
23. [to crooks] Pirates
24. [to crooks] Filibusters
25. [to crooks] Picaroons
26. [to the Africans attacking him] Troglodytes
27. [to the Africans] Sea-gherkins
28. [to the Africans] ‘Pickled herrings’
29. [to the Africans] Visigoths
30. [to the Africans] Anacluthons
31. [to the Africans] ‘Addle-pated lumps of anthracite’
32. [to Arab slave buyer] Brute
33. [to Arab slave buyer] Trafficker
34. [to Arab slave buyer] Cut-throat
35. [to Arab slave buyer] Filibuster
36. [to Arab slave buyer] Baboon
37. [to Arab slave buyer] Carpet-seller
38. [to Arab slave buyer] Paranoiac
39. [to Arab slave buyer] Pockmark
40. [to Arab slave buyer] Cannibal
41. [to Arab slave buyer] Duck-billed platypus
42. [to Arab slave buyer] Jellied-eel
43. [to Arab slave buyer] Bashi-Bazouk
44. [to Arab slave buyer] Anthropophagus
45. [to Arab slave buyer] Cercopithecus
46. [to Arab slave buyer] Psychopath
47. [to Arab slave buyer] Pirate
48. [to Arab slave buyer] Ectoplasm
49. [to Arab slave buyer] Coelacanth
50. [to Arab slave buyer] Vulture
51. [to Arab slave buyer] Body-snatcher
52. [to Arab slave buyer] Vandal
53. [to Allan] Gangster
54. [to slave dealers] Pirates
55. [to the Africans] Boneheads
56. [to the Africans] ‘Dunderheaded coconuts’
57. [to plane] Stool-pigeon
Captain sure yelled out a lot of names to that Arab slave buyer. 32-52 is all to that guy - thats 21 names! Is this the most names he’s called one person?

Tintin in Tibet
1. [to a man carring fruit] Milk-maid
2. [to a guy he bumped into] Bashi-bazouks
3. [to Tintin] Whippersnapper
4. [to their porters] ‘Musical Morons’
5. [about their porterd] Bashi-bazouks
6. [to Yeti (Big Foot)] Cro-Magnon
7. [to Yeti] Mameluke
8. [to Yeti] Vampire
9. [to Yeti] Dipsomaniac
10.[to Yeti] Body-snatcher
11. [to Yeti] ‘Odd-toed ungulate’
12. [to Yeti] ‘Macrocephalic baboon’
13. [to Yeti] Phylloxera
14. [to Yeti] Cannibal
15. [to Yeti] Diplodocus
16. [to Yeti] Filibuster
17. [to Yeti] Megalomaniac
18. [to Yeti] ‘Old alcoholic’
19. [to Yeti] Colocynth
20. [to Yeti] Troglodyte
21. [to Yeti] Pithecanthropus
22. [to Yeti] Kleptomaniac
23. [to Yeti] Ectoplasm
24. [to porters] Poltroons
25. [about porters] ‘Lily-livered bandicoots’
26. [about Yeti] ‘Drunken old ape’
27. [about Yeti] ‘Flat-footed grizzly bear’
28. [to Yeti] ‘Big-head’
29. [about Yeti] ‘Pithecanthropic pickpocket’
30. [about Yeti] Scarecrow
31. [to himself] ‘Clumsy fool’
32. [about Yeti] Jackass
33. [about “Blessed Lightning’] ‘Flying saucer’
34. [about village children] Scamps
35. [about a boy] Monkey
36. [about Yeti] Teddy-bear
37. [about Yeti] ‘Confounded migou’
38. [to Yeti] ‘Antediluvian bulldozer’
39. [to Yeti] Jobbernowl
40. [to Yeti] Megacycle
41. [to Yeti] Pyromaniac
Wow, Captain’s already beaten his old number of insults -- 21 -- that was to the Arab slave buyer in the last book. Now his record is 30 insults to the Yeti! Is this his record for most insults to one person? I think so!

Castafiore Emerald
1. [about some gipsies] Guttersnipes
2. [to a little girl gipsy] Spitfire
3. [about the girl gipsy] Wildcat
4. [about a builder] ‘Sluggard of a builder’
5. [about a builder] ‘Boneidle builder’
6. [to Iago, his new parrot] Cannibal
7. [to parrot] Bashi-bazouk
8. [to parrot] Vampire
9. [to parrot] ‘Pestilential parakeet’
10. [to parrot] ‘Cachinnatin cockatoo’
11. [to a lady] Nanny-goat
12. [about men spying on them] Ectoplasms
13. [about men spying on them] Scoundrels
14. [about Jolyon Wagg] Gas-bag
15. [about Jolyon] Idiot
16. [about ‘Paris Flash’ reporters] ‘Miserable molecule of mildew’
17. [about the Thompsons] ‘Nitwitted ninepins’
18. [about the Thompsons] Ostrogoths
19. [to the Thompsons] ‘Dunder-headed Ethelreds’

Flight 714
1. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Acting the goat’
2. [to Mr. Carreidas] Fraud
3. [to Allan] ‘Son of a sea-gherkin’
4. [to the crooks] Tramps
5. [to the crooks] Terrapins
6. [to the crooks] ‘Two-timing troglodytes’
7. [to Allan] Pockmark
8. [to Allan] Scorpion
9. [to Allan] Baboon
10. [to Allan] Orangoutang
11. [to Allan] Bandit
12. [to Allan] Bootlegger
13. [to Allan] Bashi-bazouk
14. [to Allan] Breathalyser
15. [to Allan] Brigand
16. [about crooks] Butchers
17. [about Rastapopoulos] Monster
18. [to Allan] Bandit
19. [to bats] Beastly
20. [about bats] Vampires
21. [to Skut (not ment as an insult)] Pirate
22. [about Mr. Carreidas] Ectoplasm
23. [about Mr. Carreidas] ‘Purple profitering jellyfish’
Have you noticed that in this book Captain lost his beloved hat? The hat that he had to catch when it fell even though it almost caused him to fall from the rope he was holding on to and into the river. The hat that he had to go back for when if fell from his head even though him and Tintin were in a hurry to catch a plane. He obviously must have taken it off in Mr. Carreidas’ plane and forgotten it (in the confusion of it being hijacked) and that was the last we saw of it. He must of then bought a new one just like it in time for his next adventure in Tintin and the Picaros.

Tintin and the Picaros
1. [about Jolyon Wagg] Weecil
2. [to General Tapioca] Pachyrhizus
3. [to General Tapioca] Guano-gatherer
4. [about General Tapioca] ‘Dictatorial duck-billed diplodocus’
5. [about General Tapioca] ‘Puffed-up Punchinello’
6. [to Tintin] ‘Mister Mule’
7. [about General Tapioca and others] Zapotecs
8. [to window that won’t open] Stupid
9. [to that window] Stubborn
10. [about crooks] Pirates
11. [to Professor Calculus] Cannibal
12. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Miserable blundering barbecued blister’
13. [to Pablo] ‘Subtropical sea-louse’

hat's all the books there is for now, only two are missing, but they'll be here soon, so check back soon for them!

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