Slightly Offensive Funnies
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When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends"
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday
Why is being in the Military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel
What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her Navel
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex too
What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is It In?"
If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have?
Divorce proceedings most likely
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all
What have men and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!