Slightly Offensive Funnies
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Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have?
Divorce proceedings most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A Pimp.
Why do drivers education classes in Virgina schools use the cars only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses them.
What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo."
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Row row row your boat.
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed