January 15 - New semester.
January 13 - Went to Galapagos Art Space last night. Who knew Williamsburg wasn't ghetto! Saw The Hazzards. They're so fucking awesome! 2 girls from Brooklyn with a band (they have a harp! and ukuleles!). They remind me of me and Julie the way they talk and everything. So yea. Take a look at their site. Unless you're a guy. Then you probably won't get the awesomeness of it all. But I them. And they'remy friend on myspace. Yay! So that made me totally happy. Throwing Star was really good also. Like, actual good instead of just cute funny music. All rock n roll-ish. Too bad they have no website or anything. But I really really liked them. The Debutantes sucked. After the show some guy came up to us and showed us his clam! He was awesome. Galapagos is a really cute bar place though. So yay. Next monday we're going to SMUT because there's condoms and lube and it's free. And it's a really cute place. Who wants to come?
@88!
Never say no to sex. Haha. Enough of this testicle ripping/penis chopping, dontcha think?
January 11 - I want a boyfriend who plays scrabble. It's the perfect thing to do on a rainy day. No, screw that, I want scrabble. I'd play with my mommy. Screw the boyfriend part. Although, it'd be nice =) Anyway, Ted came over today to play scrabble, and he brought me candy necklaces and those candy dots! Whee! So colorful and happy! And now he's off to LI to see Ed and I didn't go even though while they sell donuts in LI, they're usually short on Kate. Err. Hi Ed!
Talked to Nathaniel for like, an hour today. He still has my alien. Aw. And his sister remembers me. Aw.
January 10 - Whee! Driving! Parallel parking! Sorta. I made 2 explodingdog shirts! YAY for iron-on paper. *burp* My mentee is awesome. He might be Andrew#4, but he's Mentee#1.
Whoaa. So I see a private entry in my guestbook. I log in to see who it is, thinking it's some retard from meetspot saying *retard voice* You're cute yo we should chill yo *end retard voice* But no, it's Nathaniel! Can't believe he has this site, it's been like, 3-4 years. This site kicks ass. So I e-mailed him telling him to call me. Why am I so excited about this? Because (1) I've kinda been regretting not keeping in touch with people after sitting home for a month and (2) I always knew me and him could be friends, so hopefully he matured a little over the last few years and we can be like, once a month phone buddies or even AIM buddies, because once we were both over each other and everything, he WAS a good guy. So yea. This should be interesting. Whee.
Ooh ooh ooh I want to see Riverdance. Ooh. And anything with Angel Corella. And Carmen. And Moving Out (Broadway). There. I want. Too bad that to see all this I need money. Someone give me lots of money.
January 9 - I can't be at home. I can't stand my mom yelling at my brother every day. I have never heard her yell, not like that. It's like an insane half screaming half shrieking half pleading kinda yell. Because my brother is failing remedial social studies and my mom had to call and e-mail and beg his teacher to let him finish a project over winter break and after hours of them working together and her stressing so he would finish it, he forgets to hand it in. And now he refuses to go to the teacher and apologize and ask him to accept the project. And this happens with everything. Over every assignment. I can't stand listening to this. And now my dad is yelling at my mom telling her to give up on him. I can't stand to see my mom this stressed. I can't stand the look on her face when she's thinking about all this, which she does every day. At least my brother doesn't cry over everything anymore. I'd rather have him cry than raise his voice at my mom or even worse, just sit there quietly not knowing what to say. I'd like to know if he does this on purpose, if he just doesn't care, or if he really does have trouble remembering to hand in/write down homework and do his homework on his own. He does do this on purpose, because last week I was helping him with a chemistry report, and I was there looking stuff up for him while he was on AIM refusing to try to understand anything. But at the same time I know he can't concentrate on any assignment for more than 20 minutes. I don't know. I wish he was normal. And I don't know what's gonna happen to him. And it scares me to think that my mom is gonna have to deal with this for I don't know how many years. Because he doesn't want to go to college. He wouldn't make it through college anyway, unless my mom helped him every class. I feel so bad for my mom. When I heard her yelling at him like that, it was like a stab in the heart. And I'm stupid to be the one crying over this when they aren't, but whatever. I want to go back to school so I don't have to see any of this.
20 minutes later... yea, my mom is crying... I was gonna say she's a lot stronger than me because I woulda been crying a long time ago in her situation, but yea I'm not even in her situation and I cried over this. I suck.
January 7 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUBIN! I LOVE YOU!*
* While this message is true, it is only here on probation, kind of. Next fuck up and I will find it and delete it. Happy Birthday!
Ugh. Watching Room Raiders, and basically a girl gets to go through a bunch of guys rooms and comment. And what annoys me is the fact that the girls dislike everything I would like/find cute: unmatching couches (it's a friggin frat room!), SUV with mud on tires (she's all like, you'll need to clean this before you can take me out), stolen jesus thing from garden, weird giraffe man thong, handcuffs, and other little things that will give guys personality and are all probably gag gifts that she's being judgemental of. I hate girls. I wanna go back to school. Maybe my roommate died?
January 6 - Whoo! A in research! 3.6 GPA! I can overload by 3 classes next semester... yay...? I don't know which classes exactly I want yet, so I'm registering for 24 credits, not registering for research, than dropping the hum with the most work or medicinal chemistry if it's too hard for me, and adding research. Yea. I'm insane.
Hee hee hee.
January 5 - Whee! UCBT! Hump night! Worth it even though it was hailing. I made Julie say the L-word! And Kenny's stalker txt messages scared the crap out out me. And... I'M A SANTA!!! (Shhh...) Hee hee!
I figured out how retards get engaged at 17 years old. All guys think they're in love with their current girlfriends and want to marry them, so they propose. And 17 year old girls (especially from Brooklyn) are stupid enough to say yes. I don't think girls know how to say no to that. So they get engaged. And then break up a couple of months later. If I was that stupid I could've been engaged to both Nathaniel and Nick.
I look at my grades this semester and see two B's and think I did horrible. Then I realize I still have a 3.5 GPA. So yea. I still don't have my research grade though. Bastard.
I <3 Ari Hest. I just go to his website and listen to his music. Too bad I didn't get to see him last month. I might actually get an album of his. If I can't find his music on the network. Ha. I'm not a bad person. I just don't have money.
January 4 - So I was talking to #1 mentee about Ted and he asked if Ted ever did anything sweet. So I said yes: he gave me flowers randomly, brought me peppermint patties and yogurt and cherries, took me out, visited me at work everyday. And then mentee says "I don't mean the usual." The usual?? That was definitely not usual for me! Is that what most girls get with boyfriends? Is that what my minimum expectations should be for any future guys I date? Meh. I wish I had enough self respect to do that. But we all know I don't. But I think I'm finally starting to see why he broke up with me. And yay it wasn't my fault, it was him. Except for one thing. But that's not even a fault. So it's OK. So yea. =)
January 3 - Just came back from my first driving lesson. I'm a little trembly. But I drove at 30 mph at one point! Go me!
@87!
coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......
this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.
and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath
coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.
~The Dresden Dolls
January 2 - la la la.
January 1, 2005 - Whee. Awesome night last night. Except for that one part. But awesome overall. Yay New Years kiss! And yea. Yummy. Tee hee. Andrew's friends are awesome. So is everyone else. My mommy got me lots of colored duct tape and templates and magnetic closure things! She's awesome. I'm glad she's taking my duct tape hobby seriously instead of rolling her eyes like I expected her to. Whee. I made a bag for my 6 year old cousin!
I'm so awesome.
December 30 - Oh god. Eep. Ack. Shit. That was scary. Gotta breathe. My heart pounding... doesn't stop... omgomg. I hope it's all OK and she'll let me go back to school and still trust me? Yea. Eep.
On the bright side, @86! And no, these numbers aren't anything sexual and aren't related to boys at all, for those of you wondering and assuming the worst (ahem, James).
Whee! Driving lessons starting monday. Lucky you guys don't live in Brooklyn. Cept for Kenny. And Julie. And Rich. Watch out. =))
December 28 - Ugh, I'm so annoyed. I want my slut pills. Stupid Student Service Center.
I hate Lubin. Not inviting me to PSK because he figured I had other plans? Bullshit. Not hanging out with me because it hurts him? Bullshit. That's his excuse for not wanting to hang out with me, and that's fine. Inviting Julie to go to his house when he knows I live 5 minutes away and he invited me before and now he's not, now that's just a slap in the face. And that's fine too. Fuck him. Don't need him. Julie can believe his good-guy excuses for all this, but I don't. This is exactly what I needed to realize it all. Fuck it. Like Beata said: "it's like not going to a Brad Pitt movie because he's not interested... what did he seriously expect? You're like, a goddess and he's... well, Lubin." I <3 Beata.
December 27 - Whee Poconos! Whee hobby! Our bags are awesome. Pictures coming soon. And Julie set herself on fire.
First two bags
My second bag
Trifold wallet!
And Julie has an unfinished bag and a wallet. Go duct tape!
We're so cute.
Figure skating guys are so hot. Gay, I know. But hot. Nice legs and leaping through the air = pretty. So hot.
December 23 - Whoa lots of duct tape! Gray and black and green and dark green and yellow and red and white and brown and clear. Yea. So today my grandma is over and she's like "my friend gave me a ku klux klan doll." And we look at her like ..... She was trying to say Santa Claus. But she's russian. So yea. Claus and ku klux klan. It was funny. Really funny. So I found my diary from 8th grade - junior year of HS. Yea. Gonna burn that this weekend. I looked through most of it and I wanted to slap myself. Repeatedly. It was terrible. 2 moments that made me laugh: (1) "I need to get over Vinny, so I think I'll like Georgie, because while I like Vinny a lot, Georgie is cuter, so if I make myself like Georgie instead of Vinny I'll be over Vinny and then I can get over Georgie because I don't like him as much." Reminded me of this semester. I was trying to get over Ted so I was like, I'll hook up with Jeff, but I don't like Jeff so I'll hook up with Dan because I can like Dan but not as much as I like Ted so I'll get over Ted by hooking up with Dan and then get over Dan because I don't like him as much. God, I really am as retarded as I was back then. Except now it's not just liking some guy who doesn't even know I'm alive, I actually get these guys. Anyway. And (2) "I feel so dirty, we've only been dating for a month and we got to second base, what if he's just using me?" Hahahahaha. Bases. A month. Sigh. Yea. Burning that thing.
Shirt folding - Whoaa. I tried and I tried and I tried. Can't do it.
December 22 - I <3 salami. It is salty and delicious. Oh, and I'm home. @84! @85!
Books to read over the break: The Stanger, by Albert Camus (almost done) Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley Memoirs of a Geisha, by Arthur Golden (recommended by mommy) Einstein's Dreams, by Alan Lightman (also mommy) Da Vinci Code? Maybe Start reading Lord of the Rings? Also maybe.
One over zero - fucking awesome comic. If you click on one link from my site, make this it. And then thank James for sending it to me.
December 21 - Holy shit! There's a Phantom of the Opera movie! And I had no idea because I don't watch TV. I got so fucking excited when I saw the commercial. Who wants to go see it?
Done with finals!!! Chem Dynamics was retarded. I spent an hour and a half on one problem, used up 7 pages of drafts, and then it was like, wow I'm an idiot. So I should've gotten above a 90 on that. Holy shit I found out I got a 97 on the Instrumental final... that's insane, the final was so hard. I'm awesome. And I asked Bose what I got on the spectroscopy final and he was like, you didn't do WELL on it, that's for sure. But when I asked to see it and when I asked for my term paper back, or at least for the grade I got in the final and term paper he said he doesn't have them. WTF I write a whole paper and I can't even know what I got on it? That's a little weird. I'm really annoyed. Fucker probably didn't even read it. So apparently I need to write a paper in order to get my grade for research this semester. Er. Yea. I'm doing that now. But oh oh! Liang said he'll make a technogenesis topic for the summer just for me, based on the research I'm doing next semester! Woo hoo! So I'll definitely (probably) be at Stevens next summer. Although I kinda wanted to do something with organic or polymer chemistry over the summer instead of this peptide bullshit, but we'll see. If it goes well next semester I'll definitely want to finish the project over the summer. If not, I'll still apply for other things. Whee. OK. Paper time.
Too... much... penis... haha never thought I'd say that, right? Was just trying to see if I can tell the difference between a circumcised and an uncircumcised penis (I know, I know, I'm retarded) so I ended up looking through foreskin.org (not linking for your sake, it's gross) and other penis galleries and it just made me feel sick. Yea. I only like penises on boys I like, that's what I concluded. Erm. Not that there's many of either one, penises or boys I like. Er. No talking for Kate. I don't know why I even wrote about this. Yea.
Cows with Guns I actually like the song without the animation better. Listen to all the lyrics. Hee hee.
December 20 - Mmm last night was fun =)
December 19 - Meh. I feel empty. It sounds stupid, I don't know any better way of wording it, but I feel like there's something missing inside. And yesterday I was all bleh and wasn't in the mood for people. So I got really depressed last night for some reason. And I didn't like myself, which never happens, so that was weird. But yea, I don't know. Just too much stuff on my mind. And listening to the Bright Eyes song over and over is probably contributing to the non happiness. Happy music time.
@83!
December 18 - Last night was awesome. Stripper pole!! Ow. All sore from that. Still can't drink, but it was fun anyway. Whee. I have an uglydoll!!! Yay Noah! And YAY! Kenny got me Spermies! Hehe notice the 100g load in the right corner. Yum.
So I played DDR today. Again. DDR is frickin awesome. Like, at some points my brain can't follow the arrows but my feet are stepping on the right arrows... and then at some points I see that it's up and I step down and I'm like wtf, mate. But either way, awesomeness.
Been listening to Alkaline Trio - All on Black and Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have to Love non stop. Can't decide which song is better. Yea. I likes.
December 17 - I want to question the existence of buttons. I've never had that. And I want that. Yea.
December 16 - Not a happy day. Hum final sucked. Thought DDR would make it all better but it ended up pissing me off a lot. Now my back is killing me. Yea. But I guess it's not so bad. Got a B in spectroscopy when I was hoping for a C at most. And an A- in Romanticism when I was hoping for a B+ at most. And during finals week I actually have time to play DDR and watch a movie and do things that most normal people do during the semester. So yea, happy Kate? Meh. Backrub needed. =\
YAY backrub from Andrew and YAY books that teach you how to give backrubs. And YAY goodies from Jeckin. Hmm @83?? Who the hell is ...? Meh. Head kinda spinny. =\
Cute hand sex oh, just click, it's nothing dirty, no nakedness. Moo Just check out all of wimp.com
December 15 - The guy from Alkaline Trio has the sexiest voice. Mmm mm. I'm cold.
I <3 midnight breakfast! I <3 massages. I <3 margaritas. I <3 DDR. I <3 lots of hugs from everyone. Happy day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRE!!! Oh oh, and I <3 Dre!
December 14 - OMG I did not think it was possible for that much mucus to come out of my nose. Argh. Now that you have that mental image... John gave into peer pressure! Who's next? Yea, I'm not feeling so well. And finals aren't helping. I just want to lay down next to someone and not think about things.
December 13 - Not so sick but still sick. *burp* @82!
Wow, a lot of Stevens people are on meetspot: Brad Mel Roger Noah Manny Dre Ehh, Lubin And a bunch of others without pictures, and a bunch of others I don't know.
And I expect Andrew to be joining since his friend is on it, and then I expect John and Jeckin to join because Andrew and I are on it and then.. er. Yea.
So go ahead, since you all read this, go leave each other comments! Oh, and leave me a comment! =)) And leave one for Joolie also!
December 12 - YAY cheesecake! I'm sick. I hate me.
BIRTHDAY! - BIRTHDAY!!!! Whee! Julie's gift was amazing. ARRRRRRRRRR! I <3 her so! And my brother made me this. Notice the mooing duck. And stick figures! It took him 4 hours he said. Wow. Whee. Last night was awesome. Birthday kiss the second I turn 20? Hell yea! Oh, and we won the bowling tournament - $50 at Best Buy. I've never really won anything till this week. Whee! AND there's new exploding dog on my birthday, AND it's good! Oh, and I found $10 in my hoodie yesterday. So yea, I win at life. It's official.
December 10 - 92 on hum final! Like I said, perfect essay, 30/30! I win! Oh, and @81!
Heh, I think everyone goes through some kind of mini-depression before their 20th birthday? Yes, that statement was a question.
December 9 - Today = bowling day. 192 (4 strikes in a row) (my second highest). 182 (3 strikes in a row). 174. And a 142, 137, 135, and 121. I rock. A lot. 4 hours of bowling. Damn bowling club. But I rock. And it was fun. @80! And new dog. But it sucks. Lots of massages today. Can my back possibly be sore from massages? Hehe.
December 8 - @79!
I wanna go see! And it's free! But I have two finals the next day... but if anyone likes Ari Hest I'll go!
Just found out Julie won't be here all day saturday. That makes me sad. Who'll keep me company on my birthday? Oh, I know! My spectroscopy textbook... kdjfhakshdfskkdshk
December 7 - I'm sitting here all happy and I don't know why. I can't stop bouncing up and down, and I'm so excited, but I don't know about what. I was like this on Sunday, but I knew why I was like that then. Now I woke up, went to Pierce, and I'm ridiculously happy? Doesn't make any sense. But hey, happy is better than sad, so who cares. @79! But it doesn't count cuz it was fake. So nevermind. @78.
Currently listening to The Rasmus - In the Shadows. You should be too. Really.
Hehehehe, I'm awesome. I'm at work and Justin's floor had a floor event which only 3 guys showed up to, so he told me to bowl. So I did. And I won second place. And they were impressed with my 179. I rock. And this kid who never noticed me before came up to me after the game and introduced himself. I win! Tee hee.
Oh I forgot to mention! I loved their kiss in the movie yesterday! It made me feel a *thingy* for them. I want a kiss like that. In the rain. With garbage bags.
I want to make more kisses with ______. And I want to not have to listen to rap about street soldiers and hood thugs.
December 6 - Ack, I still don't know what I want to do for my birthday. I know I don't want it to revolve around drinking though. So like, suggestions? If you're reading this then you're probably a friend and I'd want you there for whatever I might decide to do, so help me decide (unless you're a stalker, then you're not invited, sorry). My essay for my Romanticism final kicked ass! First time in years that I wasn't bullshitting and had a good thesis statement and I proved it. Made me feel good.
Garden State = cute movie! Except for the whole "I love you" thing that guys pull after knowing a girl for four days. But other than that, awesome movie. Oh, and too much of the "this is life, we gotta live now" fake profound bullshit.
December 5 - Tee hee.
Finished reading Les Mis. I definitely teared. A lot. Not as much as when Sirius died in Harry Potter, hehe, I was like, bawling for a half hour then, but still, I teared. Really really good book. Read it. Jean Valjean is amazing. Yea, read the book. It's long but skip the descriptions and the political shiznit, and read about how amazing Jean Valjean is.
December 4 - I need to stop drinking? Owwie. But last night was fun. From what I can remember. For some reason I go on my computer this morning and my browser is open to the Stevens people finder page... WHO was I trying to find last night when I was drunk? I remember sitting here and not being able to focus on the screen, forget the letters and stuff. Owwie. Err... penis book? @78! Ack I'm gonna be 20 in a week. What am I doing for my birthday? Something that doesn't involve too much alkihol, cuz right now just the thought of it makes me sick... So yea, think of something to do.
December 2 - I need to stop sprouting nipples everywhere. Seriously. Well I guess now I know what's with with ___. Would've been better to find out another way instead of being ignored over AIM. But whatever. I <3 hot chocolate and reheated pizza. @76! @77!! Whoever's been reading my Kate Thoughts page... don't. It's like, 4 years old. I was still a stupid teenager then. Ha, as if that's changed. But yea, don't take it all seriously, cuz even though none of it has really changed too much, it's still silly. And I might start updating that section. Don't know. We'll see.
December 1 - Eek! December. Old in 10 days. Still @75. 100th person gets cookie. And they won't even know if they're 100th. Yay. Don't like photographers. Evil. Tired of Stevens again. But this happens towards the end of every semester. Meh.
November 30 - Haha, I'm the worst peer mentor ever. Or the best. Who knows. Christian rap? Ack! My printer's been freaking out the last couple of days printing smiley faces and squiggles, and when it does decide to print my lab reports it prints in like, size 32. Bad printer. And it EATS my paper! I try to stop it and it just keeps sucking it back in. Not in where it's supposed to go, but it goes back in after it was printed. WTF! Someone teach me how to do 2D NMR? Yea, thanks. Fucking COSY and NOESY shit. Meh.
November 29 - I woke up with perfect hair today. Straight, soft, and shiny. Weird. And I <3 my fish pants. Soo much work, and so behind on it all. 3 papers, 3 tests, 2 lab reports, 4 chapters, and 1000 pages left to read in the next 2 weeks. And then finals start. Hmm, I wonder what's going on with the whole ___ thing. Oh, and my roommate hates me! Yay! Something about her having a soul which forces one to listen to rap? I don't know.
November 28 - Well lets see... Happy birthday to Julie and Manny! That was yesterday. Lets see... lots of Absinth and Absente and Amaretto and stuff. Oh ooh! I have fish pants! And they got complimented by 2 random drunk guys the first time I wore them. Not two guys who were walking together, but two guys from 2 different groups of drunks. I <3 my fish pants! @75. Kind of. Oh ooh! I brought my devil sticks from home! Whee! If you want to see them and are not afraid of getting his in the head while I try to operate them, come by! There was more, but I don't remember now.
November 25 - I'm once again convinced that my mom is the most amazing mom ever. Her friend who was over here asked to look at family albums, and every other picture is either from a camping trip or a skiing trip or just taken from the top of some mountrain or at the bottom of some waterfall or from the inside of some cave or on some statue or tree in Canada. Yay for my mommy. This thanksgiving was cool because we started talking about how we moved to the US and all the preparations and all the stuff that we went through that I didn't know cuz I was a kid. For example, my brother was 3 years old and sick with pneumonia and we were staying at a family friend's studio apartment (4 of us plus her) for a week before leaving Ukraine because we sold our apartment and there was no heat so they turned on the stove and left it open for heat... and when actually flying here we wore layers and layers of sweaters and jackets and coats in order to bring as much stuff as possible here because it wasn't fitting in our suitcases, which my mom sewed herself because you couldn't buy luggage and bags in Ukraine, at least we couldn't. We actually came here on thursday, November 28, thanksgiving that year. And the first week we lived here all we ate was corn flakes. I actually remember that a little, sitting on the floor of our apartment because we had no furniture yet (there were seven of us living there for a year, I shared a room with my brother and mom) and I was eating corn flakes and saying how good they were. And then my mom and grandma started talking about all their family and friend traditions, such as writing each other poems on the date of their birthday every month, and putting on all kinds of family shows and concerts, making formal invitations for that, and making huge poster things scrapbook style for birthdays and big events, and just all this stuff that no one really does. And my mom said that the only time her heart physically hurt was when she was having a goodbye gathering with her friends and they were all sitting there and playing the guitar and singing like they did when they were twenty. I'm so jealous of my mom's life and friends when she was my age, they did so much cool stuff, and they were so creative because there was no computer or TV for entertainment. But anyway, good thanksgiving, and good food. I made cranberry sauce, yay! And my brother made apple pie. And the turkey was awesome. And... *explode* Oh ooh! My 6 yr old cousin who apparently doesn't stop talking about me at home (Yay!) wrote me a letter and had my granma give it to me. Hee hee. I'm so keeping it and showing it to her when she's older.
November 24 - Yay home! Since when do I like fancy moldy smelly cheese? Yum. Reading Les Miserables. Good book. Too depressing. Even for me. I finished my paper yesterday! And put up the boys are stupid poster and the skulls and put caution tape on my door. Yea, go me. Found my devil sticks at home!! Yay. Our living room has 10 and a half ~3 foot long ship models. The half is the one my mom is making now. It's insane. Better than clocks though. So how would you like to be a 16 yr old kid coming home and seeing your mom slitting her wrists while having a fight with her druggie boyfriend who lives with you and doesn't let you into your house when he's pissed off and drunk? Yea... I hope my stepbro turns out OK and goes to college in NY, or at least anywhere away from home. Doubtful though. But... happy turkey thoughts! And check out these fetish medical terms.
November 23 - @74... Martin? Wtf? I don't know why I was so hung up on that guy last year. It's a good thing he transferred because everytime I saw him it annoyed me that I couldn't have him.
November 22 - Any idea of what I should do for my birthday? I know what I want for my birthday though! A song written for me or about me by Lane 6. Yea! I think I deserve one since I'm their first fan!
Oh man I slept alllllll day. Looked at my list of things to do and just fell asleep. Sooo nice.
November 21 - Happy birthday Ed! I would say what a shitty weekend, I spent it all writing a paper, but that's not true. Friday night was lots of fun. And last night was fun, and I had 3 other offers of drinking and karaokeing and stuff, just chose not to go out. And paper finally almost done! 2.5 pages left.
November 20 - We're awesome. Yes. Made brownies with John! Finally! And even Ted said they were good. So they were good? Yay! Had an awesome night last night. Really drunk, everything was spinning, but in a happy way. Spam? Lots of nipple grabbing. Lots of fun. I like Chi Phi. I had a really profound thought last night as I was falling asleep drunk, but I forgot what it was. Too bad.
Hmm no fishnets yet, but I have knee-high socks and I love them! They make me happy. Must get above the knee socks! Oh, and must find my devil sticks! I'm all inspired by the juggler guy from yesterday. How did the guy bend and break the spoon in half without even touching it? Insane!
@73!
November 19 - Rap is dumb. Because it has all these dumbass similes. WTF. "Pulling strings like Geppetto." And they have songs starting out like "daaaang yo... daaang girl, what got you so mad?... mah man yo, he be acting dumb n shytt... aiiight." kjdfhkjdhsjk DIE DIE DIE
Well then, I guess that's how it'll be. I'll get over it. Oh, and I figured out stuff from last night. So it'll be OK with that. And even if that specifically won't be OK, everything else will be OK. @70. @71. Getting there.
(I <3 Joolie.)^2
November 17 - It's @ 69. Need 100. Lets be cryptic. YAY!
HAHAHAHAHAHA Dre made my day. No, my semester. That is the most awesomest thing EVER! Also summarizes and explains my whole semester. Wow. I'd post it here, but I think the main person from the do-agram errr diagram checks this once in a while. So I'll post later when that's all over and done with. But wow. Brilliant. I'm so printing it out and putting it up on my wall.
Fuck the I <3 Lubin shirts. Fuck everything. Only gonna do things for people who appreciate them. Me and Julie are way too awesome to waste our time on anything less. Friends aren't supposed to make you cry. Guys do that enough. Don't need this shit. I want semester to be over.
November 15 - I think Marilyn Manson's version of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus is awesome. It's definitely a song meant to be done by Marilyn Manson. The video is so him and it fits the song so well. So yea. That, and I <3 little boys. Err... Sooooo much to do....
November 14 - Drunken phonecalls from Ted? Well that's a new one....
I was on the train going back to Stevens and this ~16 yr old guy got on and sat a seat away from me. The whole ride I could feel him glancing at me every once in a while. Then right before Union Sq. he turns and says "Hey, I'm Drew." I said hi and he said that he's practicing his people skills and wants to talk to new people on the train. I was like, whoa cool. I asked him where he's going and he said Union Sq and just then the train stopped and he got out. It's so cute, it took him like 5 stops to get the courage to talk to me and even then he did it right before his stop just in case I would be a bitch. Too bad I didn't have the courage to talk to him either, because he looked like a cool kid and I was contemplating saying hi but didn't know if I should. Too bad I didn't get to tell him how cool I think that is and that he made my day. But he did. I was smiling the rest of the train ride.
November 13 - Ahh, home. So excited to be home. So nice. Soooo much food... Oh man... Ooh, I only gained 3 pounds this semester! I know it would've been better if I lost 3 pounds, and I really didn't need the 3 pounds, but I was scared I was gonna gain WAY more because school and stress and stuff. Yea.
Last night = awesome. I like whole awesome weekends thing. Unlike last year. Which wasn't bad. But this year is just great. PSK was cool, we wore the I <3 Lubin shirts, whee! Guys had mohawks, whee! Then drunkenness. Whee! Lesbian cookies! Yea, the word of the night was cookies. We had lesbian cookies, thinking cookies, drinking cookies, and lots of other cookies! Tee hee! And then I had some Dan cookies. Yum. Hehehe. Cookies are like trains. But not. Whee. CHOO CHOO! I'm cold. Gonna go help my mommy cook. Whee, mommy! Whoa, my brother's like, growing up. It's weird. Anyway, I leave ya'll with a *bunny hump!*
Whee! Listening to Phantom of the Opera and Jesus Christ Superstar, jumping and singing around my living room and doing cartwheels. Yea. I like my family when I see them once every 2 months. Sooo much food...
Haha, my 6 yr old cousin has ugg boots. So friggin adorable. Before the elections she wrote a letter for Bush in russian. It said: "Dear Bush, I know that not everyone in the world will vote for you, but don't worry if I could vote I'd vote for you." and gave the letter to her mom to mail to Bush. Hehe she felt sorry for him because of all the I hate Bush talk. How cute.
November 11 - Ack! Gonna be 20 in a month. Eep. Eek. Ack. And ooh ooh! In exactly 7 years it'll be 11/11/11 Yea!
November 10 - Yea, definitely not a good week. And it's cold. But I got a part of Julie's bday present! So she's gonna murder me the second she reads this. And uhh... yea, nothing to say.
Tee hee! Julie would make the perfect boyfriend. I love how she makes sure to tell me that she loves me or hearts me every day on the phone. She needs a penis. Wow this whole entry is pretty much about her. Yea, I lead an exciting life.
Haha, so Julie was right all along! Err, more Julie mentioning sorry. But it's amusing. Lubin just IMed me telling me I was right.
Cockolada I want!!! That's the coolest thing ever. And yes, it says cockolada, but just click anyway. It's cute.
November 9 - So I really do sleep with my hand down my pants?!? WTF. Yea, I don't know, don't ask. Test was bad. Lots of shit to do over the next couple of weeks. Oy.
November 8 - Ha, so 4 pages = 8 pages? YAY! Halfway done with paper as it turns out! Yay for Jeff. Last 2 weeks have made me think about growing up and stuff and I don't like it. Scared. My mommy makes it all better though. She yelled at me for trying to overload and kill myself with schoolwork, then sang me a song over the phone that she used to sing when I was little. My mommy's so cute. I'm so tired. Of everything. Can't wait to go home this weekend.
November 7 - How the hell did it ever get to 25?!? Ack. Last night was interesting. Yummy alkihol but somehow made me pukey. Oh NO. Is beer the only thing that doesn't make me pukey? Cuz the last few weeks I haven't been pukey even though I've been really drunk, but all I've really been drinking is beer. Ack. Anyway. All within 5 minutes last night: Drunken voicemail from John saying "Kate where are you? Kate you rock," an IM from Dre telling me that "Kate is teh hotness," and an IM from Ian saying "Kate you rule." Tee hee. I'm so loved. I so shoulda saved the voicemail. I'm an idiot. adkghkjdf. John, leave me another drunken voicemail so I can play it to everyone who yelled at me for deleting this one. 3 nights in a row? Ack. But it's nice. Makes me happy =)
Hawh, Wawa really does have the best iced tea. Must get some of that. Ian rocks.
November 6 - Last night was nice. Tee hee. Maybe my roommate died? Drunken phone calls are amusing. Heh heh.
November 5 - Awesome night last night. We kinda broke piskies for a while. Oops? Not my fault boys insist on taking pictures of me so much that they have to hold me down. *shrugs* whatever. Never had that much attention on me ever. Eep. Julie bunny-humped me lots! And I liked it. Hee hee. I'm stupid. I shouldn't be allowed to drunkenly IM people. Oh well. It turned out to be fun. I think I'm staying in tonight and catching up on work. Yes, on a friday night. Shush.
November 4 -
Dear Kate,
Brevity is the soul of wit. It's from Hamlet. Look it up.
I'm exploding in my pants.
love, michael jackson
Hehe, I think that made my day. <3 Chris.
November 3 - Fuck it, I don't like not knowing, I don't like waiting, and I don't like keeping my mouth shut, so I have a plan. I know this impatience is probably what's gonna ruin it all like it always does, but I can't let the fear of that get in the way of how I deal with things. Knucklehead? Oh yea.
November 2 - Ehhh...
November 1 - Eminem's video - Mosh. Don't see the big deal about it. Not a bad video, but the song doesn't make Eminem brilliant or anything. I don't think it takes brilliance to proclaim "fuck Bush" just like every 16 yr old kid does. Whatever. Hopefully this will all die down by next week.
*sings* 867-5309 Damn Pete. Hehe, I gave him blue balls cuz I was eating pudding in class. Silliness.
I must keep my mouth shut and not act like myself this time... askfjhsdkdfjkshk
Halloween? - Doesn't feel like Halloween. Halloween was friday. Really. I don't like this whole darkness at 5pm thing. Bleh. Can't seem to get anything done today. I feel silly about the whole ___ thing. Eep. And I don't like not being in control. Meow. Lots of pictures. Don't know when I'll post.
End of the world. Came across this again today. Watched it 3 times in a row because it's so great. I think it deserves another mention. So click and watch.
October 30 - Another awesome night last night. Except this was just the most awesomest awesome ever. My costume came out cute, which is good because I was scared it wasn't gonna work. Theta Xi rocked. The band was awesome. They asked if we were 21. Ha. The hot alumni who I plopped down on top of on the stairs last year was there. I wanted some of that. I hope he's there next year. Some kid kept yelling out Bam Bam everytime I walked by last night. It was cute. The most awesome thing though was that I smiled at some random guy because I liked his costume so he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek as I walked by. Sooo friggin adorable. Lots of dancing/jumping around = lots of soreness today. Julie's not here right now to talk about last night =( Anyway, I'm sure there's more, just don't remember anything now hehe. Will post more as I remember. Pictures coming soon. Hehe, I said I shouldn't have people's #s in my phone because I call when I'm drunk. Oops?
October 29 - Awesome night last night. PSK was fun (as usual, which is kinda weird). I like how everyone kept giving me hugs there. Whee! Then the sobering up after PSK was interesting... I'm an awesome peer mentor, what can I say. 2 hours of sleep sucks though. Costume almost done. Yay for $3 halloween costumes! The club is made of a stick, foamy stuff, duct tape, aluminum foil, paper, spray paint, and clear packing tape. Yea, you can't get any ghettoer than that. It's awesome. And I have a HUGE 6' blowup.... cactus in my room. YAY for Dre! Don't know exactly what to do with it, but who cares, it's a HUGE FUCKIN CACTUS!!! Can't wait for this weekend. My weekend pretty much started Wed night. This will be my record of the number of days that I drink in a row.
OMFG. The poor kid. Jesus. Oh, that reminds me. I finished reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." Good book. Made me cry a couple of times. The part where he was like "I kept reading. Anything to keep me from thinking and crying." And the part where he's saying bye to his friends and it's their last week together. But the kid in the article and the kid in the book... just reading about them made me like, care about them. It's weird. The kid in the book is probably the nicest, most honest and sincere person ever. Too bad sane versions of that don't really exist. I kinda feel bad for him, although I shouldn't because just his freshman year alone was probably more exciting than my whole life. I'm jealous of him and his friends. But being lonely sucks. I don't like how he had all A's in the end of the book. Not realistic. It should've been like, "I had B's. I couldn't gotten A's if I tried, but I only cared about my English class so smoking with my friends was more important so I got B's." Or something. I don't know. Go read the book.
October 28 - YAY! So when I'm an old lady I won't be totally lonely, I'll have CATS! OMG I've always wanted a cat. Meow! Last night was fun. Mucho food and drinks. Happy Kate. Oh, and I bowled a 187 yesterday! My second highest ever! Whee!
October 26 - I'm having the bestest day ever! It's warm and happy outside, Chem D lab is cancelled, I got a 100 on one of my labs (yay for Beata!), Liang said my data was very good and consistent, everyone keeps giving me hugs, and I talked to ______. Tee hee!
OMG this day just keeps getting better and better! Whee! Ha, for some reason everyone is asking me how me and Ted are doing lately... Oh well, I don't even care anymore. I say he dumped me a while ago, and everyone says he's an idiot. And I know it. So it's OK. Listening to Tautou by Brand New. Awesomeness. Too short. That song or whatever it is can just keep going for like, 15 minutes repeating the same thing and it'd still sound good. It's got a Pink Floyd sound to it. Whee! Happiness all over!
Oy, MORE people asked how things are going with me and Ted. Get over it people, HE DUMPED ME. Yes, HE dumped ME. I couldn't believe it either. And yes, I know that while we were going out you and your friends were whispering wondering why I would even date someone like him, but the truth is is that he was an amazing boyfriend, definitely the best I ever had and I can't think of one bad moment in our relationship. But yay I can smile about it now instead of fighting back tears when that question is asked. It was a perfect relationship (to me anyway) and I now see how a boyfriend should treat me, and that I shouldn't put up with anything else and it shouldn't even be a question of whether you spit or swallow, the guy should be considerate enough to not want it to go in your mouth in the first place. The only depressing thing is that I'll probably never have anyone who's as good to me as he was, and I told him that and he laughed and said that his ex said the same thing and was dating someone better than him in a month. And yea it's true that everyone says that, but I'm not the kind of girl who can get someone to date her in the first place, so yea of course his ex found someone right away, he was able to stand her for a year an a half she's more dateable than I am. But if he could stand me for only 3 months, why would anyone date me ever? Anyway, I'm having an awesome day, so no more thinking about this.
October 25 - It's the things said by people who you care about most that can really get to you. Tis why I was always soo mad at Andrew for the littlest things and it just pissed me off soo much. No, nothing happened to me, I was just thinking about stuff. I'm reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower because it seems like everyone's read it already. One passage in there I liked and agreed with. It was about how a mouse would be willing to suffer through more pain and endure more voltage if the reward was pleasure, as opposed to if the result was food. So yea, sex > food. Except cream cheese > sex. But in general, sex > food.
Haha, I <3 Abhi. He agrees.
October 24 - Yea, I didn't like the whole soberness of the weekend. I did like the opera and the hiking and the free sushi. Mmmm... soo much sushi... While hiking today I saw the sweetest thing, a really old couple hiking/walking through the woods, and the man was holding on to the woman while she was stepping on rocks and helping her not die. They were really old. It was so sweet. I want that. But with the way my relationships go I'll probably be the old lady with the cats except I won't even be able to have cats because I'm allergic to them! Grr!
Fucking ow. My bra attacked me and now my finger is bleeding. Stupid boobs. Stupid bras for stupid boobs.
The results are in: Out of the 58 guys Lubin asked, 30 would rather do Julie, 27 would rather do me, and 1 asked if he can jump off a bridge given the options. And Lubin is just perplexed. Haha, I've never had my boobs described as "your rack omg your rack is so yummy." Hahaha. Oh, and not in a dirty slutty way. He's never actually seen my boobs or anything. I <3 my boobies.
October 23 - Haha, I just came across a site for science experiments for like, 1st graders, and I decided that when I have kids we're gonna do a science experiment every week or so so they get to see and learn all kinds of cool stuff and they get interested in science. Yea.
I'm listening to Always, by Bon Jovi for the first time in years and the song still gives me chills. It made me think of Danny who first made me listen to the song, and the whole 'forever and a day' thing made me think of Nick and meh. I miss the innocence of high school - talking to a guy you like on the phone for a half hour made me happier than like, making out with a guy I like for a half hour now. Hell, just the fact that you talked on the phone with people because you couldn't come out was just so cute. And this was all before AIM. Haha. Kids don't get as much of that anymore, that sucks for them. It's too bad I didn't like high school. No, not that, I just didn't like MY high school. My junior year rocked though. Anyway, I didn't have a point to this. I just like the song a lot.
October 22 - Haha. I think what I meant to write last night was that PSK was awesome because it was MY playlist, not Lubin's and everyone singing and screaming and dancing around while drunkish is fun. Ya know when you watch punk/rock shows/videos the guys singing are like, doing a twitchy shaky singing thing? Don't know how to explain it, but I think that's really hot. Last night this really plain looking kid turned all hot in like, 2 minutes just because he was singing and jumping around and doing the twitchy thing. Hot. I want his brother though. Ha.
WTF does CSK stand for?!?!??!
October 21 - PSK FTR tonight. I lvoe this years; frehsmeh. So much fun. Awesome night. I drink beer/? YEa, appaerntly. godngiht.
October 20 - Tard Blog is back!!!!! I remembered about Tucker Max for some reason and yay tardblog is back! I like #13. It's cute. Don't like that it's all about poop and pee. Riti Sped was better. And in case anyone is interested, a brief history of sex toys.
Haha I thought I was done posting links, but I came across this on tuckermax's site. The part with the BLLAAHHHH made me laugh so hard I cried and can't stop laughing now as I type.
October 19 - Yea, I think I got the lowest grade in the class on my spec test. I feel nauseous. Meh. It's really cold out. I don't like that. Shirt + sweater + jacket doesn't keep me warm? I don't like that. Gonna die.
If it makes you happy It can't be that bad If it makes you happy Then why the hell are you so sad?
October 18 - Gosh, I feel so silly about it all. *insert AIM blushing face*
I like living in a blur.
A month since Ted dumped me. I think I did quite well with the whole getting over him thing. Go me! Screw the half time rule!
Hehehe, I like when people have those kinds of dreams about me.
One day I'm going to make an entry made up of just exploding dog/boasas/other comics links. Sometime when I have nothing better to do.
Asexuality. Must suck to not feel sexual attraction.
October 17 - Well last night was... interesting. Lots of fun, but don't like waking up confused in the morning and not remembering how I fell asleep or why I'm only in my underwear. Yea... But I drank beer because it actually wasn't bad at all and everyone was proud of me. Sig Nu is gay. They didn't let 4 girls in but let in scrawny freshmen boys instead. That's pretty gay. Meh. I did two stupid things last night (not bad stupid, don't worry). The first stupid thing is completely understandable and not all that stupid. The second stupid thing was stupid because it was in a way trying to un-do the first stupid thing when the first stupid thing really didn't have to be un-done. So yea. I lose. But not in a bad way. =) Hee hee. I love my life.
Did you know they have bluebery burgers? I want to try! If anyone knows of a place or wants to cook them (ha) let me know! Thanks! Lots of !!!111!!!11!1
October 16 - This whole week rocked, and this weekend's awesome too. Really disappointed about the rock climbing trip being cancelled, I was really looking forward to rappelling. But there's a hiking trip next weekend! And parties tonight. And parties for the next 2-3 weeks. I like being told about things ahead of time and getting Evites. Hee hee. I like being happy. Yay.
EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEE! Dre gave me one of those pully keychain things! YAY!!!!!11!1 Haha, I typed out the 1's on purpose. I'm such a loser.
My goal was to reach 11,000 hits before the end of the semester but I checked the counter today and it's almost there. Yay! There are at least 44 of you who check my site, and those are only the people who go through my AIM profile, and there are a couple who have it in their favorites. Didn't think it'd be that many. I feel special. Thanks! Whee!
October 14 - Awesome day! Shopping - lots of pantses and shirtses. Yay. Then bowling. Whee! Sour patch! I forgot how awesome sour patch kids are! Then Piskies. And no one's breaking up with me yet, yay.... Although Julie tried. Bitch. Still can't drink rum after that night in the summer. But I had an awesome time. Met a whole bunch of people. All the guys who are freshmen this year are so fucking awesome. Ack. I want to be their year. ...Must remember that they're probably not even legal yet. Ack. Anyway, awesome day, looking forward to this weekend.
October 13 - Drew told me today that when filling out his housing application last year he put me down as his 3rd choice for a roommate. Aw. That's the sweetest thing. I like cucumbers. And silly putty. But not in the same way. Err, not like that. Hmm, I want ______. How do I get him? I'm pretty sure I can. I'm all happy today. Yay. I look pretty today. Yay. And I don't think Ted hates me. Yay.
Haha I'm talking to my little bro online and he's all excited because he likes chemistry and they learned about orbitals and he understands why oxygen is diatomic and how electrons get excited and how they give off light and everything, and I'm so proud of him for understanding that right away and I remember coming home all ecstatic because I was really excited about liking and understanding chemistry and him being happy about it just got me all excited about it all over again. Ha, I'm a loser.
October 12 - Haha, I'm sooo excited about _____ and I can't even write about it here because I can't tell Julie and it's annoying me, but yay! Soo excited!
Had the second to last tennis class today (there, I mentioned tennis, happy? although you'll see this in like, 3 months but still). After the class the instructor comes up to me and tells me that I'm the most consistent person in the class. Consistent? As in consistently bad? No, he said I always get them over the net. By always he said he meant 80% of the time but he said it was more than others. Weird. Cuz there are guys who can actually play in the class. Maybe he meant most consistent out of the girls and rob? Don't know, but it was nice. So did you know Pierce had turkey burgers? Yea, not bad.
So I'm happy with 'things' not there is a 'thing' but for something that isn't really there I'm content with the part of it that IS there. Yay. That, and I have an evil genius super master plan. *grins*
Hehehehe I like coming into CJ's and having a guy recognize me as the 'awesome bowler' and remember my name. I also like impressing freshmen with my bowling skills. What bowling skills?!? People are krazy. Oh well. Whee!
October 11 - Ya know what bugs me? People who actually go to sleep at midnight every night. I'm all for getting lots of sleep and going to sleep early, and I completely understand that they have work at the same time every morning or have class at 8 am every morning and they need the sleep, but for some reason it bugs me when they put up a "sleeping" away message at exactly 12:00 AM every night. Like, how exciting can your life be if you're asleep at exactly the same time every night? It's not even the early part that bugs me, it's the lack of variety in their life. Or maybe I'm the one who needs a more exciting life because I see their away message go up every night. Whatever. I'm perfectly content with my life and I'm sure they are with theirs. And I'm sure they look down on the way I live my life. I know for a fact that the specific person I'm writing about does. Anyway, I meant to keep this short so I shush now.
October 10 - The weekend retreat was fun. I learned that I really don't like the whole teamwork thing and I like things done my way. Also learned that I don't like to get involved and take action if I don't care about things, but if I do care about something I know I can take charge and be a leader and blah blah blah. Anyway, yesterday was awesome because I got to rock climb and climb up rope things and be carried over styrofoam things crowd-surfing style (crowd surfing must be awesome, except I'm sure they're not as gentle with you) and do the zip line thing and whee! Whoaness. Hands are all blistery and missing skin from the rope but it was so worth it. Sleeping in a cabin was so friggin awesome. Just walking into a cabin and smelling it made me think of summer camp and how much fun all of that was. I feel bad for kids who never went to camp/didn't like camp, because it's one of the best experiences I've ever had. Anyway, I slept in the boys cabin (duh) both nights. Woke up to Dre's face one morning and got scared. Second morning woke up, sat up, and said "Eeeeee" and I guess it was louder than I expected because everyone complained of being woken up by my eeeee. Hee hee. I find that amusing. Gotta stop with the eeee's though. EEEeeeeeeeeeee!
Good thing the world doesn't hate me and doesn't make me pay for my lack of thought and responsibility. =)
He falls. It's really fucking funny. And disturbing. Watch it!
October 7 - Ya know, sex improves your immune system. If I had enough sex I wouldn't be sick now. Yea. Neither would Ted if he got enough sex. I see a simple solution here. How come he doesn't??
So my mommy and my grandma came with lemons and baking soda and honey and tea and throat spray and vitamins and nuts and just so much stuff. I BETTER be all better tomorrow, I ate a half a lemon. sjkdfhkdjshkdsj *twitch twitch* But I think for now my throat's even worse than before they came because I just had to keep telling my granma not to clean my room for me and not to rearrange my stuff for me and she just doesn't listen. Meh.
Julie found a picture of us from the day of 8th grade graduation.
Sooo many memories...
Julie don't kill me for this =)
October 6 - The nurse said she hates me because my complexion is perfect and my skin looks like porcelain. *grins* that's right.
So if flu vaccines are made from chicken eggs (cnn.com), do vegans not get the flu vaccine? Are they against it? Do they want babies to DIE without the vaccine? Well no, I'm sure they don't and they'd suggest that research is done to come up with a different source of the vaccine, but still. Idiots.
October 5 - So today I took: 2 advils, cough medicine, birth control pill, vitamin (Thank you Lubin!!!), and 2 tablets of antibiotics. Pisses me off. Why the hell can't my body function properly on its own?!? Meh. Spec test didn't go too well. Throat hurts soo fucking much. Peeing tea constantly. Made my mommy feel guilty today because I told her about Ted's sausage and he's not even sick and I'm sick and my mom can't send me stuff or visit me. But yea, being sick at home is so much nicer. You get unlimited mashed potatoes and tea that you don't have to microwave and mommy sits with you and holds your hand and pulls your hair. Yea. Meow.
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'll be in too deep now
To ever swim against the current.
October 4 - Had a really freaky dream. 2 actually. Dream 1: it's friday and we have to leave for the retreat thing but by the time I get out of lab everyone left and it's pouring and I have to find a way to get there on my own or else something horrible will happen so I keep calling to see if I absolutely HAVE to be there and they say yes but give me until the next morning but I still can't find a way to get there and I'm freaking out about it all. Yay for run-on sentences. Now the actual freaky dream:I come into my room and I see someone else's stuff on my bed and I'm like, what's going on? So my roommate tells me that that's her stuff and her sheets and I ask what happened to my stuff and she tells me that the cleaning lady (wtf since when is there a cleaning lady) took it. So I find the cleaning lady and ask her what happened and she's like, "watch this simpsons epidose to see what happened to your sheets." So she puts on this episode which has a contest between a lawnmower vs a horse and a midget and the contest is to see who could eat and rip apart my sheets faster. So then I ask the cleaning lady how to get my sheets back because I need them and I want my bed back and she said that they won't grow back together until the summer starts and they're currently in my fridge soaking in some kind of solution that will make them grow back together. So I start freaking out thinking that I need my sheets and my bed back before this summer, what am I gonna do for the next semester without sheets? I feel all helpless and collapse on the floor crying so hard that I'm rocking back and forth like an insane person. I call my mom and just cry on the phone and tell her that I can't do this, I can't handle all this, everything's going wrong, and I keep crying. I woke up completely freaked out. Ack. Now why would I have dreams like that? I remember having a dream last year about my sheets missing or something, but it wasn't as serious and in the dream from last year it was like "I'm doing bad in my classes, and my sheets are missing and everything's going wrong." But this year I'm having a perfect semester, I LOVE my classes, doing well in them, I love everything about my life so why would I have a dream where I freak out that much?? Meh. Speaking of loving my classes. I love them. Yea. I enjoy doing the work and the lab reports for them. I enjoy working on the problems. Yea. Awesomeness.
I need a boy in a box.
October 3 - Awesome night last night. PSK with good music is almost as awesome as TX. Or maybe just as awesome. Yay for Lubin listening to white music! Our radio show was interesting. Alanna called and gave us emotional orgasms. Then Yatta called and just gave all of meetspot orgasms. Even Rift. Rift said he'll post the link to our show on meetspot next week. No one called in to win a date with Kate =( Except Mel. She came in and sang. So she wins. And uhh yea, I'm really out of it. I think I have to stop this whole weekends being a blur thing. Next week with the retreat will be my break from this. Not that it's bad, I love it. I haven't had one bad weekend this semester, yay. Except maybe when Ted broke up with me, that wasn't too much fun but whatever, shit happens. And either way it was a good weekend except for that. But yea, I just don't like feeling like a confused monkey all of sunday because of friday and saturday night. Other than that, whee! This week shouldn't be too bad. Hope not, because last week sucked. A lot.
Whoever signed my guestbook yelling at the anonymous person, please ununanonymousify yourself. Yea.
October 2 - Eric Nieves was awesome. One of the best comics I've seen live. I hope we'll see him at Boston sometime. Last night was... weird. Parties were good but too crowded everywhere, so I didn't enjoy them to the fullest extent possible. Was hard to keep track of everyone. Talking to people now finding out who ended up doing what where. Was a weird night for some reason. But after I left piskies, the rest of it was nice. Not that piskies wasn't nice. It was just different. I guess I just wasn't well enough for the whole party thing. But anyway, radio show tonight! If my ID works (ahem, Manny).
September 29 - Meh. Sick. Sore throat and runny nose today. Might also have fever, not sure. Uck. I hope I'm OK by this weekend because it's supposed to be mucho fun. And I hope Julie's OK too because you can't have mucho fun without Julie!
September 28 - Ack throat's even worse today. And it's raining. Hard. So I'm at work soaking wet and freezing. And I have that yucky echoey ear-popping thing in my ears because of my throat. And I have sooo much work today. And I can't get CDPRO to work. asdkjfhskhdjsk. And I want ____. Nah, not even. I just want to lay in bed with someone and cuddle. Meow.
September 27 - Sore throat. Uck. aksdjfhksajhdjks. Today's been really weird. Last night I had dreams about regular everyday stuff like going to classes and talking to people about stuff, or like, making plans with people, so when I woke up I wasn't sure if it really happened or not. Then I took a nap before western lit today and during my nap I dreamed that I already went to western lit, and when the alarm went off I was back in my room from western lit. So once again, woke up very confused. Don't like dreams that are boring and realistic. It's like my brain's messing with me as if I don't have enough shit to think about. School's finally starting to get harder. Not harder, just more work. The first few weeks were easy, but now it's like lab report lab report prelab lab prelab lab report test quiz lab report quiz quiz test test lab report. Not much variety, that's what sucks. But I like the work. Now I need my throat to feel better. I figured out what I need! A boy shaped pillow with a heater thing in it. Yea... that'd be awesome.
So Julie has a sore/scratchy throat too. Ack. More weirdness in dreams... I fell half asleep in night class today for 10 minutes, and at least a dozen thoughts/scenarios passed through my mind, it's so freaky. I don't like it. I need a break. First round of tests and stuff should be over in 2-3 weeks and I can relax a little. Hopefully.
I like foot hugs. Tee hee.
September 26 - Didn't drink last night, why I do I feel sick and hungover? Meow. Yay radioshow! Gotta actually tell people about it beforehand next time. We figured out the name of the show: Happy Hour with Kate and Julie. Hehe. We'll try to have a new topic/theme every week to keep you guys interested. Next week's is: Win a Date with Kate! Pick a corny love song (or write one! you get plus points for that) call in (or come in! plus points for that also) and sing it on the air. The best one wins. Embarrass yourself all for a date with me? Yea! Even Julie said she'll do it because I'm the most awesome date ever. So yea, start practicing (ahem, Drew).
Dave showed me an awesome site: 20 questions. It guessed ghost in 28 questions. Not bad. Kinda freaky. Anyway, remember the whimit experiment I was gonna do? I don't have to. Look at her profile and notice how everyone tells her she's cute (except for Rich, cuz yay I love Rich) just because she's got boobage. Then look at her face. Try not to have nightmares. Well, those pictures aren't that bad, but the profile she had before, man that was scary. I showed Andrew her picture and he refused to talk to me afterwards because it was just that bad. And no, I'm not a mean person for pointing this out, this girl's really dumb and made really dumb posts before just asking to be made fun of. So yea.
September 25 - Ahh, fun night last night. I think. Cause like, don't remember everything. Waking up hurted lots. Nothing to actually write about, just overall fun.
September 24 - Had a sorta mini talk with Nick last night. So he wants to be friends, eh? Sure. I don't care enough to actually TRY to be friends with him, but also don't care enough to try NOT to be friends with him. So whatever, I'll talk to him online or whatever because he IS a cool kid, but I now know better - the second he says anything negative about me, fuck him. Not literally. Cuz yea. Bad.
I had the most perfect date last night! With Julie. I mean, with Julie! Went to see Rode Hard and Put Away Wet at UCBT, which was awesome because the two chicks were like us and because the kid in front of us spit up water. The Dr. Doug show SUCKED. Then we walked around until we found the french fry place, yay! 2nd ave and 7th street. Soo awesome. It's the perfect little place. So that was happy. Another happy thing: At least 23 different people look at my site (I have a spy link thing in my profile). And those are the people who go through my profile, some actually have it in their favorites or in their browser. So yay. Oh, and don't worry I don't think you're a stalker. Most of the people check my site about once a day. So keep clicking!
September 23 - Long entry, sorry. So I come back to my room at 3 am last night and see this IM:
Thenician Dusk: Hey, I don't know if you're ever gonna get this or not. But me being the self absorbed dude that I am, I wen't to your web journal and started looking for anything about me. I found the last entry and read it. I know it doesn't really mean anything anymore, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for every little thing I did wrong when we were going out.
Thenician Dusk: I hope that I've matured beyond that stage of my behavior. And I hope that some day you'll be able to forgive and forget about the way I treated you.
Well Nick, there you go, you're in my journal. Happy? And you might have matured beyong that stage of your behavior or whatever, but I also matured enough to not be naive enough to believe that you're actually 'alopogizing.' Or maybe you actually were apologizing, in which case, No, I won't forget or forgive, but don't get all big headed thinking that I'm not forgetting or forgiving because I still care. I don't care anymore, but everything you did is not something that can be forgotten, and you sure as hell don't deserve my forgiveness. Oh, and it's not every little thing you did wrong while we were going out, it's every little thing you did wrong while breaking up with me and after we were going out. And some little things while we were going out.
Anyway... FINALLY SAW HARRY POTTER 3 LAST NIGHT!!!! sjdskadfhksdhjs OMGOMGOMG Harry's so hot. For a 13 year old. In a non-pedophilic kinda way. The movie completely SUCKED compared to the book. During the movie there were only a couple of parts where it made me go all "OMG," while the book just had me excited the whole time. I really liked the part with the choir in the beginning. And I loved how all the details worked out with the turning back time. And of course, when Harry fought off the dementors himself, that was fucking awesome. Yea. Now I was a little disappointed with Sirius. While reading the book I pictured him as the kind of man I'd want to marry, while in the movie he was like, uglier than someone I'd want to marry. Yea he just got out of Azkaban, but I expected a handsomer face underneath the dirt and the beard. Also disappointed with Dumbledore, the older one was so much better. Also didn't like how they made Peter whateverhisnameis the rat so cartoonish. He shoulda been a normal looking ugly guy with a rat-like face, not like some overmakeup-ed overdone guy. But yea, book was so much better because the movie skipped all the interaction between the kids, the kids and the professors, and all the silliness such as making up all the Divination HWs. But very happy that I finally saw it.
Last but not least... Everything he said is BS. Friends? Friends talk to each other, maybe even hang out. He also said that it's not true that I'm not friends with them anymore? Bullshit. It's like they're all like, yay no more having to waste time on Kate, we can all lock ourselves in and play video games without being bothered by girlfriends or any distractions. Pisses me off how him dumping me was just getting rid of another burden to him, and he's not denying that. Whatever, who cares. Fuck them. Don't need them. And I'm completely OK two days in a row, yay.
Hehehehe I'm so cool. You know it. Meh. I hate how I have no will power and no self control, and he must hate it too, but like, if I can do something that will make me calm down and not think about things for at least a day, then why not do it? Yea it's weak and pathetic, but I like being sane. Plus it'll all go away in a week or so. So yea. I bowled a 175 yesterday! I like how I'm supposed to go the movies with Rich but I have absolutely no time. Of course, I'd like to go to the movies with Rich, but I like being busy. Yay. Lets hope it doesn't stress me out. Hmm, I know one way it won't.... skjhfksjhks
Mmm, I had delicious ribs at Theta Xi. First day where I'm completely OK, yay. Well, I still have a couple of hours of being awake. We'll see. Whee, Kevin Ferguson was here! I love that boy. The second he sees me he's like, alright we gotta gossip, where can we go. So yea, I told him stuff, he also has no clue. Now if HE doesn't know, then screw it, not worth thinking about. And it's sure as hell not my fault, cuz like, why would be? He also agreed with me on that. And he told me I look good. I do =) Ted's an idiot for breaking up with me. I'm (almost) the perfect girlfriend. He could never fully appreciate me, and probably never will get to because it's not something he wants, and that's OK, but he's really missing out. But whatever. It all makes sense in my head, and that's all that matters.
September 21 - It's things like that that make me wonder why everyone appreciates me so much and is so nice to me, while Ted can't even crack my back when he's standing 2 feet away from me. Thanks Ed!
September 20 - Hmmm... I don't know how this is going to work... I can definitely live with this =)
Watched the 4th Salad fingers. Ack. Soo fucking creepy. Good thing I wasn't alone while watching it. Ack. I love it.
Need metaphorical cookies...
September 19 - Hmm... Friday night was awesome, pictionary with dirty words and awesome people and it just made me happy to have friends like that. Then saturday I got broken up with. Yea, not too much fun, but whatever. I'm actually OK, and pretty much over it, except that I'll miss cuddling and sex. Mer. Anyway, don't ask me about it/say you're sorry, cuz I'm OK and don't really want to think about it. But yay, after crying yesterday I don't feel like crying at all. So that's good. The Sumac show was alright. Lola Ray actually sounded like they were together, the other two bands were all over the place. But I did really like a couple of songs by each one, so yay. Then we went to TX for their saturday nights. TX rocks. Can't wait til Julie's here for saturday nights. YAY radio show. Ya'll are gonna listen right? Saturdays 8-10. Music and us, yay! So yea, awesome weekend overall. Ted actually asked me yesterday if I'm satisfied with my life and what I do on the weekends, and yes, I am. I have the most awesome friends, I like my classes, I get to actually teach people how to do stuff at the lab, and yea, I'm happy. Yea, really really happy. Whee. It's Talk Like a Pirate Day! YARRRRR.
Oh yea, forgot to mention: Dave broke up with me last year on September 18th also. So from now on I start relationships AFTER the 18th, or if I'm in one, I just sleep through the 18th. I'm completely serious. 18th is bad. Bad bad bad.
Hehehehe. I rock =))))) Happy happy. Oh, and the shakespeare thing was really cute. OOB! OOB! OOB! Yay for lots of Mel time this weekend. OOB for Dre going home.
September 15 - Nothing exciting. Tennis, technogenesis luncheon (eep!), back to the lab, lots of work. And one of my labs didn't even start yet. And I didn't even start writing my spectroscopy term paper, so yea, this semester should be busybusy. I had filet mignon. Ha. I don't like that it's getting cold. Not the filet mignon, but the weather. I want to wear skirts. Grr. My nails are still long and not broken, yay. What should I be for halloween?
September 13 - Mondays are tiring. The cutest thing happened to me today: I was walking to the Howe center and for some reason there were a bunch of 8-9 year old boys walking through Stevens and one of them looks at me and says "Hi pretty girl" in this sweet little kid voice, with this angelic smile on his face. Then one of his friends whispered to him "Holla at her! holla at her!" I couldn't help but grin for the next 5 minutes. So cute. Probably the cutest thing to ever happen to me. Definitely made my day. Whee.
September 12 - Last night was OK. TX was fun, duh, but the rest of the night was a little disappointing. We played beirut and me and Adriana didn't even get a chance to play. The guys across from us sank both balls and got them back, then sank both of them again and got them back, then sank one and missed one, so we finally got to throw, of course we both missed and they then sank the last one. Twas amusing. So apparently I'm really bad at being a girl. Not only do I not notice people's haircuts, and don't know how to cook, but I also can't iron and can't walk like a girl. Something about my ass not doing enough of the up down thing. So Andrew and Andre tried teaching me how to walk, unsuccessfully. Oh, I forgot to mention that on friday Melissa made paper dolls with penii, which are now hanging above my desk. Whee!
YAY fireworks! They're all magical and happy, yay. Lobster sticks to magnet! Thought it was amusing enough (in my kind of way) to be here. He'll bite you in the EYE!!!
September 11 - Last night was awesome. Drunkenness is fun. Dancing is fun. This morning I had a bunch of missed calls and IMs and IMs on my phone, so I apologize to everyone who tried contacting me, and also apologize if I kinda wandered away while anyone was having a conversation with me. Cuz yea, drunkenness.
About stuff... I think I got it all pretty much figured out (see dj), but I'll give it some time to see exactly how I feel about it in a week or so.
Haha. My mom, who's a HS math teacher is going to be teaching AP calc for the first time ever. She just called me and said that she hasn't done anything calc related in about 20 years, so she'll be asking me for help with stuff, because she doesn't remember any of it. That's so awesome. And then she said that I know (or should know, but forgot by now) a whole lot more calc than she ever did. But it's OK, she knows a whole lot more everything else than I ever will.
I downloaded a Chem Sketch program that Attygalle told us to download, and it's so awesome! You can make molecules and spin them around, and whee I'm such a dork.
Silver/baby blue nails.
September 9 - I don't know what's going on. And I don't know what I want. So that was pointless to type out, so just ignore it. I'm happy. This is the happiest I've been since the beginning of this semester. I feel all calm just happy. And whatever happens, I have the most awesome friends who care about me. And I realized that I'm never really gonna be lonely here, unless it's by choice, because there's always someone around who likes my company. So yea, I'm gonna go eat my banana in happiness now, and you enjoy some White Ninja comics. I completely forgot about them, thanks Ed! That one's probably my favorite, although every single one of them is cute, so make sure you look through all of them. Whee! Haha this one's pretty awesome too
September 8 - OK, so why am I still unhappy? Oh, and stupid itchy feet. And stupid rain. Man, it was like, sheets of water coming down this morning, and the whole walk to class was in ankle deep water. Wet.
A total of 1.3 million abortions are performed in the United States each year. Almost 90 percent occur in the first trimester.
Why the hell is abortion so controversial if only 1.3 million deaths are caused by it, when they're not even real deaths because it's not like the fetus knows it's alive or can feel anything. Smoking, which politicians don't seem to have a problem with, causes 1/3 as many deaths, which is a lot less than abortions, but still a pretty big # if one is gonna complain about abortions. Ugh.
September 7 - Stupid itchy foot. ahsdkasdfjkashdk
Whee everyone told me I looked cute today. Even my boyfriend noticed. Which sounds really dumb, but yes, even he noticed. Whee. I did look cute today. Mel and Dre came to visit me at the bowling alley. I like how they both still do that within 2 minutes of each other even though they're not roommates anymore. Makes me feel special. Stupid itchy foot. skjfhksajfhjkas
September 6 - Well last night was a LOT different from what I expected. Heh. I don't even know. Need time to see. Need to not care. Need to know the truth. So confused. Need to stop thinking. Need to stop being scared of what's gonna happen next. Sigh. But other than that everything is great. Played volleyball today. Wasn't too bad. For a girl. I can serve, yay. Shirtless boys playing, yay. Fun. Turns out we have a chestnut tree on campus. Didn't know that's what chestnuts were. Reminded me of childhood.
September 5 - Went canoeing today, yay.
Yesterday things went different from what I expected. Good different I guess if things go back to the way they were before, but it doesn't look like they will, so who knows how many more yesterdays there will be before it's over. Thank god it's a 3 day weekend. I have pink nails. No more Qdoba for a while. I want to talk to Julie. I'm cold.
I'm like a beggar with no luck
I'm holding signs up
On your streetcorner stops
Like most you try not to see me
You stare straight ahead
Ignore the responsibility
Excuse me...excuse me Mr.
I've been waiting in line
And I'd like to buy some of your time
I'm every anxious, eager, willing.
What's your billing?
So please excuse me Mr.
You've got things all wrong
You make it feel like a crime
So don't confuse me Mr.
I've known you too long
All I need is a little of your time
For most love comes for free
They don't pay the high cost
Of mental custody
I'll pay bail for a guarantee
Please make space for me
In the time yet to be
Excuse me... excuse me Mr.
But i've been waiting in line and i'd
like to buy some of your time
And I'd been saving up my life,
What's your price?
What should I do
I'm about to crack
And there's a force
That comes over for me
It's almost as if I'm tied to the tracks
And I'm waiting for him
To rescue me
The funny thing is
He's not going to come
He's not going to find me This a a matter of fact
The desire you lack
This is the way I guess it has to be...
A little of your time
I need a little bit of your time
Please, a little of your time
September 3 - More exploding dog. Whee. Anyway. I'm silly. I IM Alanna telling her what she should tell me, knowing exactly what she'll have to say to me about the whole thing because she's sensible about these things, and it's not like I'm not smart enough to know what I should do without her or Julie yelling at me, it's just that I'm not smart enough to actually go through with it until it's too late. So now that I've confused you all thoroughly, I'm gonna go back to cleaning my room =) Tonight should be fun. I need drinky drinky.
September 2 - This has kept me entertained/frustrated for the last week. Enjoy. Also, if you haven't clicked on the link in my profile, watch Salad Fingers. I don't know why I get suck a kick out of it.
September 1 - A few observations:
1) None of my classes have HW, except for papers in Hum once in a while. That's awesome. I have no problem keeping up with the reading without HW, but I hate HAVING to do something by some point, so YAY. 2) I'm not good at remembering people. Kids from ECOES come up to me and they're like, hey you were an RA and I'm like, eep what's your name? and then they're like, oh you don't remember me never mind bye. So I feel bad. 3) 5 people have asked me to go to the gym during the last 2 days. I should really take that as a sign and start going sometime. Meh. Soo lazy. How did I do it everyday freshman year?!? 4) I don't think my boyfriend likes me anymore...
Went to see RENT. It sucked. A lot. Not even OK, just sucked. Usually when I see a musical I leave the theater all excited, singing and dancing for the next two days, but this left me feeling nothing. Huge disappointment. Isn't it supposed to be one of the best musicals? I didn't know broadway musicals could possibly be not liked. Meh. But... when we sat down in the theater my mom looked at me and said "wow, you look very good, were you always this pretty?" and stared at me in awe for about 2 minutes. Thanks, I guess?
August 31 - Who the hell is Acowdoesmoo?!? Why do people make sn's to confuse me?!? Grr. First it was YAYitsAcetate and YAYitsBenzoate, now this. Meow. Please don't do that to me. Thanks.
August 30 - So we're sitting there in my western lit class talking before the professor came in. This kid sitting next to me was like "western, that's like California right?" We tell him no, and list the books we're gonna read in the class and he's like, "read? we have to read? like, actual books?" Yes dude, you're taking a literature class. Idiot. I wanted to slap him. Other than that classes seem to be OK, but that's cuz I didn't have instrumental lab yet. Eep.
Godfuckingdammit. ksSkdjfhaskjhfdkjhsak
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
Man, all I ate today was 2 apples, 6 cherry tomatoes, 6 bitesize pineapple pieces, 2 bites of a wrap, and had coffee. WTF?? I should keep feeling yucky and disliking Pierce, I might actually lose some weight.
them. And they're my friend on myspace. Yay! So that made me totally happy. Throwing Star was really good also. Like, actual good instead of just cute funny music. All rock n roll-ish. Too bad they have no website or anything. But I really really liked them. The Debutantes sucked. After the show some guy came up to us and showed us his clam! He was awesome. Galapagos is a really cute bar place though. So yay. Next monday we're going to SMUT because there's condoms and lube and it's free. And it's a really cute place. Who wants to come?
