"I haven't said anything funny today [pokes self in cheeks with chop sticks]".
"If I ever have a seizure, it'll be to this song." (referring to "the the empty by Le Tigre)
"Monkeys are so gross. They're like hairy men, but monkeys."
"I don't understand lesbians, why can't they just go suck a dick?"
"I'm exceptionally beautiful. Why are you all laughing at me?"
