How to tell if you are an alkoholik

All of these were written by me from experience!

• You practice the field sobriety test while sober...just in case.
• Nearly every picture of you in existance is a picture of you getting drunk...drinking...or recovering from a drunken night.
• You know the schedule of the bartenders at the local bar/liquor store because you are there all the time.
• Your local bar has a drink named after you.
• Church sounds like a good idea cause of the free wine.
• You know what 86 means...you have been 86'ed..or a drink has been named after you called an 86 at your ex favorite bar.
• You know more drinking games then actual sports.
• You know more drink recipes then actual recipes.
• Your recipe book consists of such dishes as "suffering bastard" , "woo woo's" and "bull sweat".
• You know every hangover cure, cause its usually your breakfast.
• You own a shirt that says "...instant asshole, just add alcohol"...and it was a gift from your s/o, parents, best friend, ex, bartender, bouncer, etc...
• Your local bar includes you on its xmas list.
• You know the pricing strategy of your favorite beer/drink to the point of you knowing where its cheapest at all times.
• You consider home brewing to "cut costs".
• Half of your income comes from your empty beer bottles/cans.
• You produce enough empty aluminum beer cans in one year to build your own tank.
• Your idea of exercise consists of 12 ounce curls, and a 6 pack is your idea of a warm up exercise.
• You refuse to share even one beer from a 12 pack since it will only leave you with 11.
• You opt for quantity over quality when choosing a beer, liquor, or wine.
• Your policy for drinking and driving has slowly gone from 'not driving drunk at all', to 'not driving if you are too drunk to find your keys'.
• You ask to leave work early solely to hit happy hour.
• You have ever called a beer company to complain, compliment, or beg for samples/products. 
• You routinely answer the question "So what did you do last night." with "I can't remember"
• You have ever resorted to cooking sherry, or vanilla extract or mouthwash since all the bars were closed.