Claire sat on the large, soft, white leather chair in Justin’s living room. She probably shouldn’t be there anymore. After all, she and Justin had just had a huge fight. Claire feared that it was their last one. She so far beyond heartbreak and sadness to cry. The only thing she felt was depression and disappointment.
Justin was so mad he just left. It was after 10 o’clock at night. She was just over to see him since she had been gone and so had he. He had been on tour and she had been in Colorado, visiting family. She just got home and even before going home she went to Justin’s. She practically lived there anyway.
True, they were young. She was 19 and he was 20. It wasn’t THAT young. No one expected them to get married but they thought they would. She looked to her left hand. On her pinky finger she saw the little silver band. She twisted it off of her finger and looked on the inside of the ring. ‘I promise- Justin’ was in the inside. He gave it to her on September 12, 2 years ago. There was nothing special about that day he just couldn’t wait to give it to her.
*°°*You’re with me
Till the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to
Talk about
So I’ll hold it in
Till my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again*°°*
***Flashback***
Justin had just called Claire. “Claire?” He asked excitedly.
“Yeah?” She responded to his excitement immediately.
“Wanna go out?”
“Like out OUT or like we are?” That made no sense to her. What was he talking about?
“Like to lunch.”
“Uh, sure, let me get my coat.” She looked out the front window because she heard a honk. Justin had already drove to her house. “Bye J.” She said walking out to the car with a smile on her face. She shut her cell phone and hugged him.
The car ride together was far from silent. They never had a dull moment in their relationship. “So, J, where are we goin’?” Claire asked.
“I dunno, where do you wanna go?” He looked at her then back to the road.
She thought for a minute. “Ooh! I know! We could get pizza and go to that one pond!” She was always the creative, romantic, spur-of-the-moment type. Maybe that was why Justin loved her so much. “Sound good?” She looked at him and grabbed his spare hand that was resting on the space between the seats.
“Perfect.” She leaned over and hissed his cheek and squeezed his hand tightly.
When they had the pizza and were at the pond Claire grabbed the pizza and ran to the big rock that they always sat on when they went there. She waited for Justin to sit with her. “It’s not hard, man.” He told himself, still sitting in the car. “Just ask her to have the ring and ask her to promise the same thing you want to promise her.” He opened the red Mercedes Benz door and stepped out. He stuffed the ring in his pocket and walked to the hidden rock that he knew from so many times before.
“What took you so long?” Claire asked taking his shaking hand. “Justin,” he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. “J, what’s wrong?” He expected her to let go but she only gripped tighter with both hands. “Is it me?”
“You could say that,” he said with a smile. She loosened her grip on his hand and smiled too. He looked her in the eye and pulled the box out of his pocket. She didn’t notice what he was doing. She as watching the little ducks in the pond follow each other.
“Oh! Look Justin! They’re playing!” She squealed happily. “Isn’t that cute!” She looked at him with a giant smile taking over her face. She brushed her long blonde hair out of her piecing blue eyes. “What’s that?” She said motioning toward the black box peeking out from in his hand.
“Claire, I was gonna wait to do this a different time but I can’t wait and this seems so perfect.” Claire was only seventeen then.
‘What is he doing?!’ She thought. Her mind was racing with possible reasons he would have a ring box and what he was saying. The only logical thought she came up with was he was proposing to her.
He saw the shock and fear in her eyes. “Oh, no, Claire, I’m not doing what you’re thinking.” He opened the box. “See, look at it.” He took it out of the box and handed it to her. “Look on the inside.”
“You promise?” She asked looking up at him. “What do you promise?”
“I promise to stay true to you and that as long as you have this ring we will be together and we will be together forever.” He said.
“Can I promise that too?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t know what else he could’ve said. It went just the way he wanted it to.
***Flashback***
*°°*A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace *°°*
It was all over now. Everything that they had was gone. She slipped the ring back on her finger and stood from the chair. Looking at everything in the room. Touching everything, like all of it had their own memories of times when Justin and Claire had spent time with each thing. The phone started ringing, usually she would just answer it but when she reached for it she remembered what had happened.
*°°*Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I’ll keep you close to me
When I remember*°°*
She couldn’t stand the phone ringing so she picked it up anyway, even though the little voice in her head told her not to. “Hello?” When her voice came out it wasn’t her normal voice; it was quiet and weak.
“Claire?” Whoever was on the other end didn’t even recognize her voice.
“Lance,” she said. “What do you want?” She didn’t to talk to anyone.
“Are you ok?” He asked her.
“Lance, Justin and I just got in a huge fight and I’m just making sure I have all of my stuff.” She said impatiently. “I gotta go.”
“Ok,” He said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Lance.” She hung up.
*°°*Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved
In my mind
In the memories I’ll find solace *°°*
***Flashback***
It was Justin’s birthday and Claire wanted to do something special. She called JC and told him to make up something to have Justin come over for a few hours. She lit every candle in the house and set the table for two. She put a CD in the CD player with soft music. ‘Perfect’ she thought. It was 8:30 and Justin should be home any minute now.
The door opened. “Whoa!” He said loudly. “It’s dark in here.”
Claire walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Happy birthday, baby.”
“Thank you.” He whispered into her ear. Then he kissed her lips. When they parted, she looked in his eyes. They were shining brilliantly. Shining so brightly that it felt like it was lighting the room.
“Are you ready to eat?” Claire asked. She was really excited because she made his favorite dinner. It was one of the only things she could make, that is without catching it on fire.
“Yeah,” He smiled. He knew exactly what they were having. He knew her too well. “Let me guess... pasta!” He said. She nodded and hugged him again.
They sat down and ate. They talked about everything. “Hey,” Claire said laughing. “Do you remember when we were at your mom’s house and you guys threw me in the pool?”
Justin started laughing. “Yeah, but Claire, where did that come from?” He said shaking his head. That comment was totally out there. Just then he noticed the music playing in the background. “Wanna dance?” He asked her.
“Sure,” she said, standing up.
***End of Flashback***
It was perfect. The moment, the mood, the feeling, everything. This would go into their history of one of the best moments. Neither one of them would ever forget it. But now it was over. It was gone. Forever.
*°°*Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
And I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I’ll keep you close to me
And I’ll remember *°°*
She was upstairs in his bedroom. She went to his closet and pulled out a shoebox. The one he thought he hid where she would never find it but she knew where it was. She never went through his stuff; it was just an obvious spot. She lifted the top off and saw the box was filled to the top in letters she had sent him. She read one.
¤*¤ 7-10-99
Dear Justin,
I’m in Colorado right now and I really miss you. I hate visiting my stupid grandparents. I want to be home. I want to be home so I can see you. The only good thing is that Andrea’s here. All we ever talk about is you and her boyfriend, Kevin. It’s really late here. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll write to you tomorrow. I think I’ll try to sleep again.
Love,
Claire¤*¤
She wrote about nothing and yet the letter looked like it had been read a thousand times. ‘I can’t believe it’s over.’ She thought.
*°°*A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace *°°*
She put the letter back in the box and looked at the rest of them quickly. She should probably leave now. She really didn’t want to run into Justin. He would probably be mad she was even there. She put the box away. When she put the box back on the top shelf in his closet her pager went off. She looked at the number and it was Justin. Why was he calling her? He’s supposed to be mad at her. She picked up the phone in his room and called him back. “Claire,” he said desperately.
“Justin,” she said coldly. “What do you want?”
There was a pause. She had never been that cold toward him before. He messed up, big time. “Where are you?”
“Justin, I’m leaving. I just wanted to look at everything one more time.” She wiped the tear that was rolling down her cheek away. Hearing his voice is what did it. He meant so much to her and now it was gone. Even if both of them wanted to be together it wouldn’t work. She hated it that he was never there and he hated that she couldn’t stand it. When he was gone he knew that she was being so faithful it hurt him too. She should be with someone that could always be there for her.
“I’m coming home.” He said and hung up. She panicked because she didn’t want to deal with him one more time. If she saw him then she would run to his arms and he would say everything was ok. Everything wasn’t ok. She stood up from his bed and walked downstairs to get her keys and purse.
*°°*Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
And though we can never be
I’ll always think of you and me
Always remember *°°*
Justin walked in the door just as she was walking to it. “Claire,” he opened his arms. Now he was just waiting for her to walk into them.
‘No Claire, don’t do it!’ Her brain screamed at her.
“Don’t go.” He said walking toward her. “Everything will be ok,” He said even though he knew that it wouldn’t be ok.
“No Justin, it won’t.” She didn’t run to his arms. She was on her own.
*°°*Love *°°*
“Justin, I love you. I will forever I think. And maybe later we can get it to work but right now I need to be me. Just me. Maybe we can even be friends.” She said hopefully. “I’ll see ya later.” She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Bye.” And she walked out the door.
*°°*You’re never too far*°°*
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