Santa's Record Book Ben Sweeney My dear old Mother told me Many, many years ago, That Santa kept a record book So he'd be sure to know -- When Christmas time care 'round again -- My bad deeds for the year, And all the misbehaviour Of children far and near; I shudder now to think of what Those pages might reveal, And if he read the book, how would My own son Jimmie feel? For there in letters cold and black, Accusing through the years, Would be my own long list of pranks -- My diary of tears! And Jim would look at me askance And never ever more Pay heed to careful lectures on My better days of yore; So Santa, keep your Record Book Well under lock and key; Inscribe the deeds you must, of course, But never let us see!