Part One
"It's not like I never tried to
talk to her about my feelings, you know?"
Spike sighed and continued to line up his shot; if
Harris would shut up for just two seconds he could
sink this ball.
"And since when did just asking for a little time mean
I want to break up with you? I never said the words
'break up'. I said, 'I love you and I want to marry
you but I think we should just slow down a little.'"
Spike slowly dropped his head forward and sighed
again. He straightened and looked at the ruffled lad
almost pityingly. "Women can smell fear you know? Just
plain human women can smell fear on a bloke from a
mile away and you thought Anya, a former vengeance
demon, would buy that load of crap about just needing
some time?" Spike snorted.
Xander looked slightly affronted. "Who said I was
afraid? Hey pal, I've faced down hell demons, fish
people, werewolves, and you. Besides, my best friend's
a woman. I know about women. She's just being
unreasonable." Xander nodded decisively.
Spike just shook his head wearily. A couple of older
guys at the next table glanced at the boy upon hearing
that last bit of nonsense and shared a commiserating
look with the vampire.
Spike leaned down to line up his shot again.
"I'm not going after her either. If she thinks I'm
going after her, she's got another thing coming. A
man's got to have some pride." Xander took a swig of
beer.
Spike sunk two balls, gave the brunette a disgusted
look and walked around the table to place his final
shot. Maybe he could end this in the next minute and
get the hell out of here. If he had to listen to
Harris natter on about Anya, chip or no chip, he was
going to rip the kid's throat out.
"I mean you didn't let Dru get away with that stuff
right? Oh sure, you were a pathetic drunken maniac at
first but then you got it worked out and stood tall
right? Buffy told me, you went back and let her know
what was what, right?"
Xander stared at him hopefully. Spike stared back and
then seemed to come to a decision. He beckoned the boy
over. Xander stepped closer. Spike waved him closer
still then leaned in and whispered very softly in his
ear.
"I did what just about every male does when the light
of his life tosses him out on his ear and he feels
like his heart's been ripped out."
Xander looked horrified. "No, say it ain't so?" Xander
met the blonde's unblinking gaze. His shoulders
slumped. "You threw yourself on her mercy and begged?"
Spike shrugged and nodded. "Did you think it was
different for vampires?"
"But, but, it wasn't your fault." Xander floundered.
"She was being, being......"
"She was being Dru." Spike smiled fondly and a little
sadly. He promptly sank the last two balls and
finished his beer. He patted his pockets down looking
for matches. Damn, was he out of matches?
Xander slumped dejectedly against the pool table. "So
how long should I give her before I go up to San
Francisco and beg her to come home?"
Ah, matches, but only four. Well he only had three
cigarettes left so that would work. He'd have to nick
some more before the night was out. He hated waking up
with no smokes. "Don't know, what were her exact
parting words?"
"Alexander Harris you need to grow up." Xander said in
monotone.
"Give her until Monday otherwise she won't believe you
actually thought about what she said." Spike headed
for the door and Xander roused himself. He quickly
finished off his beer and caught up with the departing
vampire.
"I'm not scared, I mean not really. I do want to marry
her. I love her. I just, everything's moving so fast
you know? And she was talking about kids, not right
now or anything, but kids! And I just, I don't know."
Xander trailed off.
"How old are you Harris?"
"Twenty, why? You don't think I'm old enough to get
married? Well I am. I'm responsible too, I just."
Spike stopped the flow of words by putting a single
finger against Xander's lips.
"I don't know whether you're old enough to get married
or not. That's not for me to say, besides I want to
reserve the right to laugh my arse off at you if you
screw up." Spike gave the outraged boy a slightly
twisted smile. "There is one thing you should think
about though; getting married is not a rite of passage
for adulthood. It's something you do because you just
can't imagine your life without that person in it."
Spike gave him a final stern glance and then resumed
his leisurely stroll home. Xander stood very still for
a moment and then hurriedly caught up with the blonde.
They stopped at a store on the way and he paid for a
whole carton of smokes for Spike. The vampire had
nicked some chocolate while he'd been paying for the
cigarettes. Spike offered him half and Xander
hesitated briefly before accepted the pilfered candy.
"I could have paid for those too."
"Yeah?" Spike looked disinterested.
"So you want to get together tomorrow, watch some
videos or something?"
Spike tipped his head to the side studying the human
before him. Xander bit his lip and tried not to look
too hopeful.
"Yeah, sure." Spike shrugged. He didn't have much else
to do, what with Dawn being away with the witches for
the weekend.
Xander grinned hugely and then tried to cover. "Great.
Well see you around then." He bounced into his
apartment building.
Spike shook his head; it was like having a pet. He
ambled home, scaring a couple making out in the park
on the way. Idiots. He'd just gotten in and turned on
a late night movie when he stopped and sniffed the
air. He frowned, Naw, couldn't be. He sniffed again.
He had almost convinced himself that he was wrong when
he heard the knock on the door.
He closed his eyes, maybe if he stayed very quiet she
would think he was gone and go away. Silence, and
then, another timid rap. "Will, are you there?"
Spike watched fatalistically as the door slowly opened
and a bright head of shiny gold hair attached to a
blue pixie like face peered cautiously around the
corner. She gave a relieved smile as she caught sight
of him and stepped inside the crypt. She carefully
juggled the little bundle in her arms.
"Thank goodness. I was afraid we might have the wrong
crypt."
She held the baby in her arms a little higher and
cooed, "Look honey, it's daddy."
Spike gave her a weak smile.
...............................................................................................................................................................................
Part Two
Spike walked up to the young
woman and gave her a soft
kiss on the cheek. He gently moved the blanket aside
and peered into the face of the disinterested baby.
She was almost a miniature of her momma; the same
pixie like features and golden hair. In addition
though, she had darker blue stripes across her cheeks.
The markings looked a bit like war paint.
"That's apt," thought Spike. "Got a bit of her Da in
her."
"She's a beauty luv, real pretty, just like her mum."
Spike said quietly.
"Thanks. She looks a lot different than when you last
saw her, huh?"
"Yeah, well she was just a little egg then. When did
she hatch?"
"Last month, right on time and everything." She
glanced around and Spike took pity on her. He dusted
off the chair and offered her a seat.
"This is nice. I can tell you've really gone to a lot
of trouble to brighten everything up." She tried not
look too closely at the stains on the battered old
piece of furniture. She sat down very gingerly on the
edge of the chair before giving him a brightly awkward
smile.
Spike watched her arrange the babe carefully on her
lap. A large rat scuttled between two coffins in the
corner. She flinched but then caught his eyes on her
and tried to cover her dismay with a cheerful façade.
He smiled wryly. "Pet, why are you here?"
She didn't answer immediately and Spike steeled
himself. When she bit her lower lip and looked at him
entreatingly he groaned inwardly. It was going to be
bad.
"I've left him Will. You were right. He doesn't have a
sensitive bone in his body." She sniffed and reached
up to wipe away an errant tear. Spike rummaged in his
coat pocket and pulled out a fairly clean bandana,
kept for first aid emergencies. She smiled her thanks
and dabbed at her eyes.
"He wasn't even around when she hatched. I mean I
don't think that was asking for too much do you? You
were there when she was born. He was supposed to be
there when she hatched." She sniffed again. The baby
sensing her mother's unrest began to fuss so she
concentrated on soothing her, making soft little
nonsense noises.
Spike pushed away from the wall he'd been leaning
against to sit on the chair arm. She leaned her head
against him and sighed sadly. "Loving someone who
doesn't love you back is terrible. You'd think I'd
know better."
Spike wisely kept his silence. He could tell she had a
great deal more to say on the subject and was just
warming up.
"All he ever does is issue orders. He just tells me
what we're going to be doing. He never asks. And every
time I want to talk things over he just says, there's
nothing to talk about" Her eyes flashed although her
voice stayed low so as not to upset the baby.
"He doesn't hurt you or the little one does he luv?"
Spike asked grimly. He was fairly sure the answer was
'no' but you could never tell. He'd learned that a
long time ago.
"No, of course not!" She looked shocked and he nodded.
"He wouldn't do that! He's just, just bossy and
insensitive and, and," she searched for the right
word. "He's a wanker," she finished triumphantly.
Spike snorted inelegantly. "Well you knew that before
you married him luv," Spike gently reminded her. "I
seem to remember you insisting that you liked your men
forceful."
She blushed a becoming shade of indigo and dropped her
head, peaking up at him through her lashes. "Well, I
may have said something to that effect but there's a
difference between forceful and jerk." She finished
primly.
"It's all in the eyes of the beholder luv." He stroked
his hand through her hair, letting the silky strands
slide through his fingers.
She hrrumphed, "Besides, I thought after we got
married it'd be different, you know?"
Spike rolled his eyes, "How many centuries old are you
love?" He gave a slight tug to the locks of hair in
his hand. He stood and pulled two suckers out of his
coat pocket, offering her one.
She took it with a little pout and watched him
watching her. They stared at each other for a few
seconds before she broke into another one of her sunny
smiles, although this one was slightly rueful.
"Alright, I'm an idiot, go ahead and say it. It's what
you're thinking."
He smiled back, "You're an idiot."
"That's why you're my favourite husband, you say the
sweetest things." She winked.
"I'm your only husband now love." And a good thing
too, he thought. Wouldn't want to meet his nibs in the
state he's bound to be what with the wife and baby
having up and left him. Divorce doesn't sit well with
most demons and he's probably busy destroying a
village somewhere to vent.
She blinked and looked away before clearing her throat
nervously. Spike felt his stomach tighten.
"Well, actually, I didn't really formally end the
marriage." The look she gave him begged him to
understand. "I still love the big idiot. I just needed
a little space." She cringed slightly at the dark look
the vampire was giving her. William could be so old
fashioned about things sometimes. "I left a note," she
offered brightly.
"A note," he echoed faintly. "What did it say?"
"Nothing much." She said mutinously.
Spike straightened and gazed very sternly at the woman
before him. "Nualla," he growled.
Her eyes widened slightly but the stubborn tilt
remained to her chin and her lips stayed firmly
closed. Spike eyed her narrowly and crossed his arms.
Two very old creatures locked horns, figuratively
speaking, and there was a tense silence in the old
crypt for a good five minutes before Spike shrugged
his shoulders nonchalantly and reached for his jacket.
He popped the sucker back in his mouth as he pulled on
his duster and headed for the door.
"Oh all right, I said that I was going to visit you in
the States," she snapped. "I don't see that it
matters. It's not like he's going to come and fetch me
home."
Spike snarled, "Come and fetch you home? We'll be
lucky if that's all he does."
Spike fumed as he paced back and forth. "It's your own
fault," he thought, "no one told you to go on a week
long bender in South America after Dru told you good
bye that last time. Serves you right to wake up
married to the local forest sprite because she's got
an egg in the oven."
He stopped and took a deep unnecessary breath and
glanced at the object of his ire. She looked
miserable. She was pleating and re-pleating the baby's
blanket and gnawing her lower lip almost raw. She
looked up when he stopped.
"I'm sorry Will," she said quietly. "I just didn't
think. I can't imagine why I did something so crazy. I
do know better." She sighed heavily.
"Love makes madmen of us all," Spike quoted gently. He
held out his hand, "C'mon then luv. Let's go."
She stood with a question in her eyes.
"Well you and the little one can't stay here. This is
no fit place for a babe. We'll go to my mate Xander's
place. He's got an extra room." Spike was already
turning away and heading outside so he missed the
surprised look in the blue sprite's eyes as she
followed him out the door.
"Did you hear that baby? Daddy's taken another mate. I
hope he's not as crazy as Dru." Nualla whispered to
the bundle in her arms.
................................................................................................................................................................................
Part Three
Xander tapped his foot
impatiently waiting for the
microwave to beep and signal an end to his wait. Ummm,
hot, buttery popcorn and back-to-back Jet Li movies.
He rubbed his hands in anticipation. Not even the
prospect of grovelling to Anya dampened his enthusiasm.
He frowned, well maybe just a bit. He looked down at
his ragged t-shirt, old sweatpants and rainbow scuffs.
The scuffs were a present from the witches, who lately
had been in some sort of mad crocheting phase.
He sighed and thought back on his conversation with
Spike earlier in the evening. Man, what a total let
down. He'd really thought that Spike had returned to
Drusilla and laid down the law. Not that Xander
approved in any way, shape or form of torture as a way
of cementing a relationship but to find out that the
Big Bad had caved and thrown himself on the mercy of
the court so to speak. Xander gave a slow shake of his
head. It was like finding out that Superman wasn't
really faster than a speeding bullet or that the Lone
Ranger didn't use real silver in those bullets.
Whoa, back up, not that he thought of Spike as a hero.
He didn't, although he had come to think of him as a
friend. It's just that his whole worldview had been
skewed. He'd never thought of demons as just regular
guys. The thought of some big Fyarl demon getting
nagged at by the Missus just gave him the wiggins.
He giggled suddenly, overcome by the thought of Ralph
Cramden played by some horned demon yelling 'To the
moon Alice.' Heh, oh boy, two beers on an empty
stomach were two beers too many. The microwave beeped
at him invitingly; ahh, popcorn, one of the four basic
food groups.
He carefully juggled the hot bag as he grabbed a cold
bottle of water out of the fridge. He had about five
minutes to get settled before the movie started, perfect timing. If he couldn't
spend the evening having
wild sex with Anya, this was the next best thing. He
arranged everything within easy reach and was just
about to hit 'play' on the remote when the doorbell
rang.
It was after midnight and no sane Sunnydale resident
would just blindly open their doors at night. He
reached under the couch cushion and pulled out a stake
and a small vial of holy water. He approached the door
at an angle, standing slightly back and to the side
before calling out.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, open up mate."
Xander raised an eyebrow suspiciously. It sounded like
Spike. "What's the password?"
"Let me in before I kick the bloody door down whelp."
He heard the vampire snarl, followed by what sounded
like a muffled giggle.
He opened the door a crack, which was quickly enlarged
by Spike as the vampire shoved his way into the living
room. Xander's eyes widened comically as a small blue
woman carrying a baby followed him inside. She gave
him a shy smile and a little wave.
"Shut the door Harris, you're letting the heat out."
Spike gestured to the small woman, "Nualla, Xander.
Xander, Nualla." Spike dropped gracefully onto the
couch and waved Nualla and the baby over to the easy
chair. "Have a seat luv."
"Actually, Will and Xander," she bobbed her head in
the still stunned boy's direction, "where's the
bathroom. She needs changing."
Spike grimaced slightly, "Yeah, she does, doesn't she.
Down the hall and to the left."
Xander continued to stand, mouth slightly agape. He
had managed to shut the door however. "Who, what,
why?" he finally stuttered.
Spike regarded the young man mournfully, poor lad,
maybe he'd been dropped on his head when he'd been
younger. From what the vampire knew of his home life
there was a good chance that's exactly what had
happened. He patted the cushion next to him
invitingly. "C'mon pet, have a seat. I don't have all
night and we need to talk."
Xander scuffed his way over to the couch and flopped
down looking a little bit lost. Of course Spike
thought the kid always looked a little confused. He
glanced down. "Nice slippers," he commented dryly.
Xander blinked and then glowered at him. He opened his
mouth and Spike just shook his head and held up a
hand.
"She's a forest sprite originally from the Old Country
and now guarding territory deep in the Brazilian
jungle. She's not really a demon, more like a dryad or
faerie. Yes that's a baby and it's hers."
Xander, trying to make up for his earlier surprise,
nodded sagely, like he'd seen it all before. He
casually reached for the water and took a swig.
Spike grinned evilly, "Did I mention that she's my
wife and that I'm one of the baby's fathers?"
Water spewed across the entire coffee table as Xander
started coughing. Spike helpfully slapped him on the
back but carefully so as not to set off the chip. "You
all right mate?"
"You did that on purpose," he gasped, glaring at the
smirking vampire before he went to get a cloth to wipe
up the mess.
Spike laughed softly to himself. "I still got it." He
probably shouldn't antagonize the kid. He was going to
need his help after all. He'd talk Harris into letting
Nualla and the baby stay here while he quietly pulled
in a few favours to find out where that hulking husband
of hers was. In the meanwhile, maybe he could convince
the barmy lass to 'go home' or at least talk to the
big oaf.
He watched Harris mop up the table as he absently
rubbed his temples. He felt like he was getting a
headache. He shouldn't be able to get a headache
should he; would an aspirin help?
Xander glared resentfully at the blonde menace sitting
on his sofa. Spike was rubbing his head like it hurt.
Well good, maybe his chip was bothering him; serves
him right for that last bit. Stupid vampire jokes, ha
ha, tease the human. He knew vampires couldn't have
kids. He'd done a lot more reading then people gave
him credit for, at least when it came to vampires.
Besides, that baby hadn't looked more then a few
months old. He frowned, or not. It was a supernatural
baby after all. Maybe Nualla had laid an egg in the
body of some poor sap Spike had killed for her and the
egg had grown until the baby had chewed its way out of
the corpse. He drew in a sharp breath then gave
himself a mental slap. Get a hold of yourself Xander.
A couple of bad incidents involving insect teachers
and hatching egg demons and this is what you get,
letting your imagination run away with itself.
Spike was looking at him strangely. Xander decided it
was time to go on the offensive. "So when did the
marriage take place?" He inquired with false
politeness.
Spike gave him a razor thin smile, "Two years ago,
last time I was down in Brazil."
Xander sneered, "And the baby, when did she enter
the world and don't try to tell me she's two years
old."
"Well the baby only hatched about a month ago but the
egg was laid about two years ago." Spike said
conversationally.
"And you're the dad." Xander scoffed.
"Like I said whelp. I'm one of them." Spike puffed his
chest out just a bit.
"Vampires can't have kids. It says so." Xander
snapped.
"Where?" Spike inquired innocently.
"In Giles's books and before you ask which ones, even
Angel said so." Xander having quoted one of his least favourite people, now considered the argument won.
Spike sneered at the mention of one of his least favourite people and was about to tell the lad what was
what when Nualla returned.
"All clean. Thank you so much for letting us stay here
with you Will's mate." She gently laid the newly
cleaned and sleeping baby on the easy chair, pulling
extra blankets out of the backpack she'd had over her
shoulder.
"I can't tell you how happy I am to find you so
stable; not that Drusilla couldn't be stable but,
well, you know what I mean." She chatted happily while
she fixed a little bed for the child. "I had no idea
that William had taken another mate, and such a nice
young man at that." She turned to face the bewildered
pair. Her gaze flickered between the two astonished
men. "Did I say something wrong?"
.........................................................................................................................................................................................
Part Four
"Pet I think you're a bit confused," Spike
recovered
his composure first and spoke gently to the puzzled
young woman.
"Well, you did say we were going over to your mate
Xander's place and this is Xander's place isn't it?"
Xander who'd spent the past few seconds feeling
shocked, to say the least, recovered enough to enter
the conversation. "Hey, you told her we were mates?"
He gave the vampire a friendly punch on the shoulder
and grinned happily.
Spike glanced at his shoulder and then at the goofily
grinning boy. "Watch it Harris," he growled. Nualla
was giving them an 'aww isn't that cute smile'. Right,
well it was time to nip this in the bud.
"Look luv, when I said mate I didn't mean in the shag
you senseless for the rest of eternity kind of way; I
meant friends you know?"
"Oh I get it," she gave a little wink and a nod. "Say
no more, just friends. I understand."
Spike snarled in disgust, "No, I mean it. Does he look
like someone I'd sleep with?"
"Hey," Xander and Nualla declared in unison.
"That's not very nice William!" She scolded.
"Yeah, that's not very nice 'William'," Xander
smirked. He turned to Nualla with a pitiful expression
in his eyes and sniffed theatrically, "He's such a
brute sometimes."
She managed to nod sympathetically at the woeful young
man while simultaneously glaring at Spike, which was a
fairly impressive feat as far as the vampire was
concerned, although Dru had done something similar on
several occasions when he'd really ticked her off.
Spike gritted his teeth and mentally counted to ten
and then twenty before a thought popped into his head,
which caused a truly evil smile to cross his face.
Xander did not like the look of this; he should have
remembered that it's not nice to tease the vampire.
"Yeah, well I guess there's not much point in my
trying to deny is there?" He shook his head sadly as
he put an arm around Xander and squeezed just hard
enough to make his point. "I can't wait to see the
look on old Anyanka's face when we tell her, can you?"
He turned to the suddenly frozen human with jovial
smile.
"Anyanka?" Nualla questioned thoughtfully, tapping her
lip.
"Friend of ours, just about the most easy going lass
you'd ever want to meet; grand sense of humour too. She
just loves a good joke, doesn't she pet?" Spike gave
an extra hard squeeze; happily ignoring the warning
twinge the chip gave him. It was worth it.
Xander's mouth was opening and closing like a fish out
of water. He started to speak but it came out as more
of a squeak then anything verbal. He coughed and tried
again. His voice coming out only slightly cracked this
time.
"Actually, Anya's my fiancé. Spike and I aren't
together. Heh heh, I was just teasing. I don't know
what got in to me. It's probably the beer. I don't
usually drink on an empty stomach. Not that I'm a big
drinker. It's just that we went out to play pool and
they don't do that blooming onion thing like they used
to and no chicken wings tonight if you can believe
it?" Xander rubbed the back of his neck fretfully.
"Did I mention that Anya and I are planning on getting
married?" He smiled nervously at the woman who was
still tapping her lip and appeared to be deep in
thought.
She suddenly slapped her forehead, "Of course,
Anyanka!" She stared at the pair before her, "Are you
cheating on a vengeance demon? That's not very bright,
William. You at least should know better."
Spike opened his mouth to explain but Xander jumped in
first. The boy just had to keep babbling away; no
wonder he was best friend's with Red.
"Actually she's human now so the whole curse us with
boils or other nasty spells thing isn't really
available to her anymore. Not that there's any reason
to because, not with Spike. Nope, we are not a couple,
so of course there's no reason to cause important
bodily parts to fall off or anything. Not that she
couldn't make my life a living hell if she wanted to,"
he laughed, "she's a woman after all." He stopped
suddenly aware of his audience.
Spike winced; the kid had no survival instinct
whatsoever. Nualla frowned.
"Not that there's anything wrong with women. I like
women." He tried to pull away from the stranglehold
Spike had on his shoulder but the vampire was getting
such perverse pleasure out of his discomfort that he
wouldn't let go.
Xander risked a quick glare in his direction promising
revenge before forging gamely on. "Heck, I'm going to
marry one and boy am I happy about that." He gave her
his most ingratiating smile.
Nualla threw up her hands. "Males, you're all insane.
I have no idea what's going on but you know what? I
don't care." She resolutely turned back to the
blankets she had started to fold before this entire
crazy conversation had begun.
Xander jerked lose from Spike's hold with a passable
growl for a human. The vampire returned it with a
self-righteous look. "Serves you right to be hoisted
on your own petard," he thought. He turned to the too
straight back of the sprite. He heaved a sigh.
"We're really not a couple luv. Just having a bit of
fun." She disdainfully shrugged one shoulder but
didn't turn around.
"It's nothing to do with me. It's none of my business.
I'm not mixing in." She continued taking everything
out of her backpack and carefully folding it before
putting it back in.
"Ah pet, don't be like that." Spike wheedled. He'd
been reliably informed that he wheedled with the best
of them.
"Yeah, Nualla, I'm sorry too. We were just being
silly," Xander added, using his puppy dog eyes.
She turned, giving the two contrite males a long look
before smiling slightly. "You're idiots. I hope you
know that."
They nodded solemnly in agreement.
"Okay, now that we've settled that what do you want to
do?" She asked.
"Well, Spike was going to explain how he could be a
dad and how you met and everything." Xander grinned.
"Oh, the story of how Will and I met. This is so
romantic." She winked at the brunette and gave him a
saucy grin. Spike actually looked embarrassed.
She slipped to the floor and leaned back against the
easy chair. Xander arranged himself comfortably on the
couch and Spike sat down with a weary air of
resignation.
"I remember his first words to me like it was only
yesterday." She paused dramatically before continuing
in a fair imitation of the vampire's accent, "Bloody
hell woman, I think I'm gonna hurl."
.......................................................................................................................................................................
Part Five
Xander burst out laughing then slammed a hand
over his
mouth with a quick look towards the baby but his eyes
were still dancing.
Spike raised an eyebrow and calmly pulled what was
left of his sucker out of his pocket and popped it in
his mouth while Xander tried to get his snickering
under control.
"To be fair I'd just dumped an entire pail of water
over him." She smiled.
Xander managed to catch his breath and gave Spike a
slightly disapproving look. "He was that drunk?"
The again was left unstated but you could hear the
implication. Xander didn't approve of anybody getting
that drunk. Spike sneered around his sucker. The boy
had a bit of the Puritan in him sometimes.
"Actually, he was about to burst into flames. He was
smoking like a bad chimney and it's a good thing I
found him when I did. He was lucky that it was my
doorstep he passed out on and I was able to drag him
inside in time." She said wryly.
It was Xander's turn to raise eyebrows. "That was
pretty nice of you."
"Well, the whole community knew about that crazy
northern vampire who'd spent the past week drinking
and getting into fights at the local tavern. It was
the juiciest bit of gossip we'd had in a long time."
She gave Xander an apologetic look. "Things move
slowly where I live which normally is just fine but as
you can imagine in a quiet place like that when
anything different happens well." She leaned forward
conspiratorially and Xander found himself leaning
forward to meet her; "A handsome, dangerous stranger,
obviously heartbroken over some little filly, saunters
into town, well all the local demon girls and a few
others spent a lot of their free time discussing how
he might be 'consoled' if you get my drift." She
giggled and then sobered mockingly, "Not me of course,
I'm much too mature for that kind of thing."
Spike snorted inelegantly and Xander chortled at the
disgruntled vampire, "Hey, romance novel material."
Spike scowled back at him but the effect was somewhat
ruined by the lollipop. It just didn't appear as
menacing as usual.
"Have you ever seen him without his shirt on, whoa!"
She fanned herself delicately and then patted the
blonde's knee.
"Havin fun pet?" He asked conversationally. He was a
little surprised at how calmly he'd taken the
retelling of one of his most embarrassing moments.
Maybe it was because he felt comfortable with these
two. Harris wasn't in any position to laugh too hard
at relationship troubles and neither was Nualla. Plus
they all shared the same self-deprecating sense of
humour, which, considering how their lives went was
probably just as well. They weren't just laughing at
him, they were laughing with him.
"Yes," she said in a childlike voice and with an
unrepentant twinkle in her eye.
"Okay, Spike's sexy, fine, I get that." Xander
stopped, "Wait, what I mean is, I can understand how
some woman could get that. But, well, why would you
think 'daddy' about some vampire who was too drunk to
come in out of the sun?" Xander felt truly perplexed.
Maybe it was different for supernatural creatures, but
compact body and good looks aside, Spike did not
strike him as good parenting material. Although, to be
fair, he was really good with Dawn; in fact he was a
lot stricter than Xander was about curfews and such.
From what little he knew of demons, including Anya,
they tended to be wild and maybe strict was good?
Nualla smiled a little sadly, "My people are few and
far between. There aren't a lot of us left, no wild
place, no sprites." Xander bit his lip and looked
uncomfortable.
"Bloody humans," Spike muttered under his breath.
She shrugged in resignation, "Hey, that's progress. It
happens and I got over being really angry about it a
long time ago. The problem is, male sprites. There
were never a lot of them to begin with and there are a
lot less now. So, quick lesson in sprite biology if
you're up for it?" She questioned the brunette.
Xander cleared his throat and nodded in his best
mature manner. "Yeah, sure." He hesitated briefly,
"Not too in depth right?"
"I'll censor out all the icky bits," she smiled. Spike
laughed softly.
"When it's 'that time' and there is a male sprite
available, well then things pretty much happen the way
they do with humans except that the end result is an
egg that is laid in a nice little nest that the male
has created. The egg grows slowly and after two years
it hatches and out comes a beautiful little sprite,
usually female. Simple, yes?"
Xander nodded. This was really interesting, why
couldn't they have studied this kind of stuff in
school? This was so cool.
"Now if there's no male sprite around, the female has
to find someone else, sometimes more than one. One to
sort of start the process and one to finish it." She
blushed a bit. "Also, we don't have a lot of time to
do it either. Just one week or no more egg until the
next cycle, which is every fifty years."
"When my time came, I already had my eye on someone,
who was not cooperating. In fact he was being a pain
in the neck."
"Too bloody right," Spike sneered.
"Who's telling the story, you or me?" Nualla asked
primly. Spike grunted and waved her on.
"William had been staying with me for about a week at
that point; drying out, making himself useful, keeping
my hormones in a whirl." She laughed softly and gave
him a fond look. "And just generally being a nice guy.
So when I came home in tears one morning after another
fruitless attempt to get my honey's attention before
my biological deadline, he comforted me."
"Yeah?" Xander said, giving the vampire a rather dark
look.
"Not that kind of comforting and aren't you sweet. No
wonder you two are friends, both of you has a bit of
the knight errant in you." The two men looked
uncomfortable.
"No, I poured my little heart out to him and that's
when we came up with a plan to get my man's attention.
It ended up working too but that's another story and
in the meantime I was going to lose my chance at a
baby." She gave Spike a truly beautiful smile. The
vampire gave her a wry grin in return.
Xander sighed softly. It was pretty obvious those two
shared something on a much deeper level than sex.
"So to make a long story short, one night William and
I started a baby."
"But he's a vampire and, well, nothing's alive,"
Xander squirmed a bit.
"But he is magical and I can work with that." She gave
the blonde a wink. "I still needed the idiot who
became my second husband though. He is alive, at least
for now." She finished dryly.
She ran a hand through her hair and yawned delicately.
They heard a little gurgling coo coming from the
depths of the easy chair. She rolled her eyes
slightly. "Oh, look, someone's awake again. Gee, I
wonder why she's up half the night?" She said with a
pointed look at the blonde.
"I expect it's because she has a bit of her Da in
her." Spike crowed. "You get some rest luv, I'll look
after her."
Xander jumped up, "Hey, where are my manners, let me
show you the spare room. It's got clean sheets and
everything.
"Thanks," she said tiredly. She bent down and gave the
baby a kiss and a cuddle and then another kiss and
another cuddle. It ended up being a good fifteen
minutes before Xander was able to show her to the
bedroom.
When he returned, it was to find Spike sitting on the
floor with the baby cradled in his legs. He had a bit
of string with a shiny piece of cellophane from his
cigarette pack tied to the end and he was dangling it
over the baby while she swatted at it. He kept
encouraging her to grab and looked as proud as a
peacock every time she swiped at it.
"That's it, grab it luv, 'grrr', wrestle it to the
ground. Move in for the kill, that's my girl." Spike
whispered encouragingly.
Xander slid down next to the vampire. "She's going to
have to bring down a kill? What do sprites eat?" He
asked a little worriedly.
"Oh, they're vegetarians, you know tree sap and such.
Pretty disgusting if you ask me." Spike crinkled the
paper for her and the baby blew a bubble at him in
return. He grinned hugely. "Clever girl, who's a
clever girl, yes you."
"I don't think she's going to have to wrestle any
trees to the ground." Xander peered at the baby. She
was a cute little thing.
Spike raised an eyebrow and gave the lad his trademark
sneer. "Oh she won't eh? Ever been to the jungle?"
Xander shook his head. "Well shows what you know."
Xander's eye's widened as the implications of that
statement sunk in. Note to self, do not visit the deep
jungle without lots of backup.
Xander bit his lip and peered at Spike who looked
pretty relaxed. He decided to chance it. "Can I hold
her?" He steeled himself for a cutting reply. The
vampire gave him a long measuring look. Xander didn't
think he'd ever been looked at that carefully before.
"Yeah, all right." Spike carefully held up the little
bundle. Xander held out both hands.
"You got to support her head, make sure you got a firm
hold now."
"I've got her head, I've got it!" Xander concentrated
on receiving the tiny creature.
Anyone watching the operation would have thought they
were moving highly volatile explosives. Finally she
was settled on Xander's lap.
He stared down at her in awe. She stared back and
yawned obviously blasé about the entire procedure.
"She's so small," he breathed.
"Not even a mouthful," Spike agreed gently.
"Okay that was a disturbing comment." Xander said.
"Why do you do that?"
"What?" asked an obviously confused Spike.
"Well, when you like someone you refer to them as
food; like Nibblet or Little Bit, or Nummy. It's
weird."
"Not if you're a vampire," Spike stated reasonably.
Xander thought about that for second and then shrugged
mentally. "Can't argue with that I suppose," he
thought.
"She's so cute."
"Yeah,"
They both sniffed and then grimaced. Xander looked at
Spike. "Well Dad," Xander looked hopeful.
"You're holding her." Spike backed up a bit.
"Oh man," Xander, "Together?"
They stared at each other then at the baby. She cooed
delightedly and kicked her little legs.
"Right then," the vampire answered. "How bad could it
be?"
.............................................................................................................................................................................
Part Six
"Ohh, bloody 'ell," the vampire quickly
stepped back.
Xander had lost the coin toss so he got to unwrap the
package. He had protested vehemently, saying that he
was not the dad so it wasn't even fair to have a coin
toss. But, Spike had pointed to his nose and mentioned
that his ability to scent prey was a necessary
survival trait that he would need if he ever had to
look out for his daughter. That made absolutely no
sense to Xander but he had given in and was now faced
with the results.
He grimaced, actually it wasn't that bad. Really, not
that bad, although how such a little thing could make
such a big mess was beyond him. A hand appeared around
the bathroom door proffering a clean bit of cloth.
Xander quickly wrapped the soiled one up inside two
trash bags. He hesitated briefly about tossing the
diaper but then thought, "Heck, I'll just get her
more." He sniffed again, "It's gotta go."
Spike poked his head around the corner and watched
Xander expertly pin the baby into a new diaper. Xander
caught his eye and finished with a little flourish.
"Viola, thank you, thank you, no applause please, just
throw money." He gave the astonished vampire a cocky
grin.
"Where'd you learn to do that mate?" Spike tried to
regain his usual cool.
"Like I keep telling you," he said pointing to
himself, "best friends with a woman here, hello? When
we played house, Willow was into progressive
parenting. She insisted that Jesse and I know how to
diaper her dolls." Xander gently tickled the
squirming baby. "Never thought I'd be using that
particular skill."
Xander wrapped her back up in her blanket and he and
Spike headed to the living room. "Hey, we just keep
calling her baby. What's her name?" Xander asked as he
settled cross-legged on the couch.
"Doesn't have one yet. Won't have her Naming Day for
another couple of months. That's how it is with her
Father's people." Spike propped his feet up on the
coffee table and yawned.
"Is she running away from him?" Xander asked in a very
quiet, very serious tone.
Spike didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Naw, she just
needed some space you know? He's the overbearing type
and he's got no idea how to handle her." Spike nodded
towards the guestroom. "Probably spent all his time
giving orders and what woman likes that eh?"
Spike shook his head, "Tried to warn her but she had
heart set on him, she did and wouldn't see no one
else."
"Did you want her to 'see' you?" Xander asked and held
his breath. He felt a little out of his depth although
strangely he also felt very adult. He'd never had a
really serious conversation with the blonde and for
some reason he felt proud that Spike thought he was
mature enough to talk to about the situation.
The vampire gave him a sidelong glance and for a
moment Xander thought he wouldn't answer then Spike
shook his head. "No; don't love her like that,
although maybe I wish I could." He shrugged, "can't
choose who to fall in love with, just happens."
Xander's thoughts strayed to a head of bright red hair
and pretty green eyes. He nodded in understanding.
"Yeah."
Both men sat deep in their own thoughts for a while
before Xander roused himself to ask, "What's the plan?
Do you want her to stay here until she gets her head
together?"
Spike gave a dry chuckle, "I don't think we have that
much time. If I know the big oaf, he's on his way here
right now bound and determined to bring the little
woman home."
"Well if she needs some space maybe he should just
give it to her," Xander snorted. "I mean, it sounds
like he was pushing, you know?"
"Much as I dislike the bloke and would love to agree
with you whole heartedly, I happen to know Nualla."
Spike shook his head, "He may be a right wanker with
more muscle than sense but my wife is no shrinking
wallflower either. Nualla's been on her own a long
time and she's not anymore used to being married then
the big idiot. When Nualla wants to do something well
Nualla does it." Spike gave Xander a wry look.
Xander winced, "Irresistible force meets immovable
object?"
"Too right," the vampire agreed. "You don't just walk
away from the local demon leader with a note saying
'Ta, be seeing you when I see you.'" Spike snorted,
"Man's got to have some pride."
Xander bristled, "Hey, when I said that about Anya you
thought I was being an idiot."
"Yeah, well you were and so are they, happy?" Spike
wondered about the kid sometimes although this was
nice. Well nice was too smarmy a word, more like a bit
of all right. He hadn't had another male to just talk
to in a long time, not since the Poof, well not even
him actually and Master Vampires did not 'hang out'
with minions. Aside from the baby he'd never had a
Childe. Now he had Dawn and a baby and a wife and a
couple of crazy witches and an affianced man-child for
friend, throw the Watcher, Anya and Dru into the mix
and it was a real mess. "I wonder if my un-life is
this crazy for a reason?" He thought about that for a
moment and then decided it was best not to know.
"So again I ask, what's the plan 'oh wily one',"
Xander was busy watching the baby grab his finger.
"And why do you keep referring to him as the big oaf
or big idiot of big anything?" He smiled down at the
entranced child who had decided that Xander-finger was
the best toy in the world.
"The plan whelp, is to find him before he finds us and
pulverizes us into little blobs of demon goo or human
goo in your case." Spike pulled out a match to chew
on. He was going to have to trust the lad with the
baby soon so he could catch a smoke. "And I call him
big because he is a very large demon."
Xander looked up, "When you say large, are we talking
'large' or 'good lord it's blocking out the sun'?"
Spike stroked his chin thoughtfully, "Somewhere
in-between I reckon." He caught Xander's worried look
and gave him a cheeky grin. "Not to worry ducks, too
late to do it tonight but I'll put the word out at
Willy's tomorrow and we'll get it settled. Besides,"
Spike puffed up a bit, "I can take him."
Xander hoped this wasn't one of Spike delusions of
grandeur.
The baby yawned hugely while Xander gently rubbed her
little tummy. She liked these strange creatures; they
were funny. She liked the one who smelled a bit like
mommy and whose face could change. She liked the other
one who was rubbing her tummy too. She closed her eyes
and slid into sleep.
"Let me have her, eh? I'll put her down with her mum
then I've got to have a smoke." Spike carefully picked
up the sleeping infant and cradled her against his
shoulder. She fussed a bit and he rubbed her back
soothingly and started making a low rumbling noise
that an astonished Xander could only describe later as
a purr.
His mouth fell open as he watched the vampire walk
down the hall to Nualla's bedroom. "Vampire's purr!
Wait until I tell Willow," he thought excitedly. He
got up and stretched, walking into the bathroom and
getting ready for bed.
He waited until Spike returned and then tossed him an
extra set of keys. "I'm heading to bed. There's extra
blankets and stuff in the closet. I don't have any
blood though so you might want to pick some up before
you settle in for the evening."
The vampire gave him a long look and then slowly
raised an eyebrow. Xander shrugged and grinned
self-deprecatingly, "I know, I know, you're not
domesticated and I can't trust you as far as I can
throw you and no, I'm not taking you for granted."
"Good," was all the blonde said before opening the
door.
"Oh hey Spike?" Xander handed him the bag with the
diaper in it and gave him cheeky grin, "don't forget
the trash."
Spike grimaced and held the bag well away as he left.
..............................................................................................................................................................................
Part Seven
It was a bleary eyed Xander who contemplated
his
cereal the next morning. Actually it was technically
12:01 pm but it was morning as far as Xander was
concerned. He'd rousted a grumpy Spike and moved him
into his own bed, thank you very much, at around 11:30
so that he could putter in comfort; one thing he'd
learned from spending time with the bleached wonder
was that Spike was not a morning person.
He'd heard Nualla get up earlier. He listened to her
quietly give the little one a bath and then dozed off
to the sounds of Sesame Street playing on the TV in
the guest room. By the time he rolled out of bed she
must have gone back to sleep to nap with the nibblet. He
grimaced, "Great, now he has me doing it too".
He heard sounds of life and a tousled sprite and baby
appeared in the kitchen. She gave him a sleepy smile.
"Good morning. How are you?"
"Fine thanks. What can I get you and baby?"
"Oh don't worry about the baby. I've got her covered."
She smiled sweetly at the suddenly blushing young man.
"Do you have any granola, moss, lichen, tea?" She
asked.
Xander hesitated and then offered sheepishly, "I have
Fruit Loops. They recently brightened the colours."
She peered into the box somewhat warily and sniffed
delicately, then shrugged, "Yeah, all right."
Xander gave a sigh of relief and then brightened,
"But, hey I do have tea." He stood up and reached into
the cupboard, "It's Green Tea, is that okay?"
"Oh perfect. Thank you." She was trying to juggle the
baby while pouring cereal and had just about decided
to set her down when Xander held out his arms.
"Can I hold her?" He asked hopefully.
"Sure." She watched him very carefully support the
baby's head before cradling her in his arms. "You like
children?"
"Yeah," he smiled shyly. "My girlfriend talked about
having kids and I kinda freaked. I'm not sure why but,
this is sorta cool." He gave her a grin.
"Well, lots of people, male and female 'freak' when
the topic of children come up. It's a big adjustment."
She stared at the wall with a sad look.
"You okay?" Xander asked quietly.
"Yeah, I think I just realized that maybe I didn't
give someone as much time to adjust as I thought I
did." She said wryly. "To think that I might have made
a mistake;" she gave him a twisted half smile.
"Shocking," the brunette said with a relatively
straight face.
She stuck her tongue out him. The baby giggled. Nualla
watched the young man play with her daughter. She'd
listened to him and William arguing about changing the
baby's diaper last night. She'd had to bite the pillow
to keep from laughing out loud. That nonsense Will
had given the human about sensitive vampire noses
inspired a giggle every time she thought of it. She
could tell by the tone in the boy's voice that he
hadn't fallen for it but he'd still ended up changing
the diaper. Her William could talk his way out of just
about anything given half the chance. She'd seen him
do it.
"Xander, is William all right? I mean does he have
someone, besides you of course." She asked seriously.
Xander didn't even glance up, his gaze focused on the
baby he was gently rocking. "Well, not really, not
since Buffy died."
"Buffy?"
"The Slayer," Xander stopped, frozen in shock. What
had he just said? No one was supposed to know that
Buffy was dead. They'd all gone to so much trouble
with the Buffybot and now he just babbled it all out
about Buffy and how Spike felt about her. The vampire
was going to kill him, chip or no chip, Spike would
find a way. He swallowed miserably, meeting the grave
look in the sprite's eyes.
"The Slayer, oh, my poor, poor William," She said
sorrowfully and slowly shook her head. She met
Xander's stricken gaze, reaching across and patting
his arm. "It's okay. It'll be our secret."
Xander let out the breath he didn't know he'd been
holding.
"My goodness this certainly is a very bright breakfast
food." She delicately plucked a floating fruit loop
from her milk. "I don't think I've ever seen this
exact shade of glow in the dark green before, hmm,
interesting." She pretended to study the loop
intently, giving the shaken young man a chance to
regain his composure. He seemed to be a rather
endearing mix of innocence, bravado and wisdom. The
fact that he was William's friend was in her opinion a
good thing for Will and from what she'd seen of
Xander, probably a good thing for him as well. "Well,
speak of the Devil," she thought as an obviously newly
awakened vampire appeared.
Spike's eyes were at half mast and his hair was
sticking up every which way. He shuffled directly to
the fridge and pulled out what appeared to be bagged
blood. Without even looking, he held out a palm and
Xander slapped a mug into his hand. He poured the
blood into the mug and put it in the microwave and
then leaned against the counter. The entire procedure
had been performed in silence.
The microwave beeped and Spike took out his
'liberated' Kiss the Librarian mug swallowing a
healthy dose of blood. His eyes opened a little more.
He took another smaller sip. Xander waited until the
third sip and then ventured a "Morning Spike." The
vampire grunted.
Xander held the baby up, "Look baby, scary vampire.
Grrr" The little girl cooed delightedly as the blonde
gently chucked her under the chin.
Spike finished off his mug of blood and poured in the
rest of the bag and popped the cup back in the
microwave. He ran a hand through his hair so that it
regained some semblance of order and yawned.
"Mornin' whelp." He winked at Nualla, "'ello
Beautiful."
"Good morning William," she said through a mouthful of
cereal. She had ventured an entire spoonful and was
now determinedly munching away on the sugary
substance. She felt herself getting a bit light-headed.
"No more sugar for me. I need to go find some
vegetables." She thought.
Spike saw her blink a little dazedly. "We need to find
you some veggies luv." He looked at the bowl of
breakfast cereal reprovingly.
"Hey just make a list. I can go shopping. We can do
salad and stuff. We'll be all healthy until tonight."
Xander said.
"Tonight," murmured the sprite distractedly. She felt
distinctly odd, not bad really, just odd. "Are we
going out?"
"No, I'm going out. I just need to run a few errands."
Spike glared at the boy.
Xander winced, "Sorry," he mouthed.
"I think," she stood up suddenly, "Oh dear, please
excuse me." She made a run for the bathroom where she
lost the entire contents of her tummy. Note to self,
no more sugary breakfast cereals.
"You all right pet?" Spike asked. She waved him away.
"Just fine, no problem," she breathed slowly, in and
out, okay, all done being sick, feeling much better.
"I'll send the boy out for some proper food." Spike
hesitated until she got up and gave him a reassuring
smile. "Pet, good rule of thumb, if Xander likes it,
it's probably not good for you."
* * * * * * * * * *
Spike handed Xander a wad of cash and sent him to the
store armed with a long list of food items that
consisted mostly of fresh vegetables, fruits and a box
of Wheatabix for the vampire. Nualla was feeling much
better by the time he returned and they spent the rest
of the afternoon watching movies and playing with the
baby. The four of them got along with cheerful
camaraderie right up until the point that Spike put on
his jacket and mentioned that he was going out for a
smoke. The sprite must have had some sort of sixth
sense because she had stood up and indicated that she
wanted a breath of fresh air.
Xander had a front row seat to a very subtle battle of
wills. Unlike the loud and sometimes violent
disagreements his parents engaged in or the Xander had
a front row seat to a very subtle battle of wills.
Unlike the loud and sometimes violent disagreements
his parents engaged in or the avoidance arguments he
and Anya had, this was a match of champions. He
watched them duck and weave with the expertise of
world class contenders. For awhile there, it almost
seemed like Spike just might make it out the door
alone but in the end he'd found himself holding
Nualla's backpack for her while she wrapped the baby
up in preparation for the trip to Willy's.
Spike had lost Round One but he came back swinging
when the finally arrived at the bar. He absolutely
refused to let her come in. He pointed to the baby and
Xander saying that neither could come inside and
someone would have to stay out here and protect them.
Xander bristled but his protest was quashed by a
single raised eyebrow. He pouted, she pouted, but
Spike remained unmoved. He'd been pouted at by the
best. No one could out-pout Dru in a high dudgeon.
Before going inside he came up to the annoyed sprite
and rubbed against her temple and cheek. He then did
the same to the baby but for her he added lick to
which she cooed appreciatively. He then moved over to
Xander who was trying to decide what the heck was
going on. The vampire grimaced then grabbed him firmly
by the scruff of his neck and blew along his both
sides just below his ears. Xander shivered and Spike
pulled back with a smirk.
He looked at his little group. "All mine," he growled
before entering the bar with a decisive whirl of his
duster.
"What just happened?" Xander looked over at a
seemingly unconcerned Nualla.
She rolled her eyes, "Vampires," she said as if that
explained it all and maybe it did.
They waited outside mutinously receiving several odd
stares from the incoming and outgoing patrons but no
one bothered them. A few demons stepped closer than
Xander would have liked but then immediately backed
off. Xander wasn't sure whether it was Spike's scent
or Nualla's hiss of displeasure which caused it but he
started to feel less like a walking Happy Meal.
Spike returned looking grim. "He's already in town
luv," he said looking at the sprite. They walked away
from Willy's, Spike and Xander automatically falling
into flanking positions around the woman and the baby.
A surprised and pleased expression crossed her face.
She glanced at the two men and quickly covered it with
a casually disinterested shrug; "Yeah?"
The vampire gave her a vaguely disgusted look, "Yeah,
he must have left right after you did; happy now?"
She shrugged again but this time looked a little
uncomfortable.
"When we find him the two of you are going to have a
talk and get this foolishness worked out, you hear
me?" Spike said sternly.
She bit her lip, glancing at him from the corner of
her eye. She nodded slightly.
"Nualla," he warned. "You two can't go on like this,
it isn't good for the baby."
"Low blow," she glared. "You're playing dirty."
"Yeah, well I'm evil." Spike growled. Xander hid a
smile.
They took the short cut across the park stopping to
let Xander retie his shoe. He glanced up and then
froze. Spike froze, Nualla froze, the baby on the
other hand continued to snooze. In front of them stood
one of the biggest demons Xander had ever seen. Heck,
he was one of the biggest anything's the kid had ever
seen. Xander swallowed past the very large lump that
had suddenly appeared in his throat. He pointed.
"Daddy?" He squeaked.
"Daddy," Nualla confirmed.
"Oh bloody 'ell."
...................................................................................................................................................................
Part Eight
Rationally Xander knew that the demon facing
them was
probably only about seven feet tall but the small
atavistic part of his brain that had kept him alive on
the Hellmouth all these years was screaming "It's a
giant monster, run!" Rational Xander, however, refused
to leave his friends and certainly was not putting a
baby in harm's way.
'Daddy' stalked closer with surprising grace for
something so large. Xander felt his stomach tighten;
regardless of what Spike had said, this demon didn't
appear to be a big oaf. For one thing he wasn't
rushing forward blindly or bellowing in wounded
outrage or just generally snarling mindlessly. He
stepped to within six feet of the little group and
then stopped, arms held loosely at his side.
He nodded brusquely, "William." He bowed to the
sprite, "Nualla", he said coolly. He then turned to
Xander, "You're that human that runs with the Slayer."
It wasn't a question.
Xander took a calming breath, "Xander" he said evenly.
He saw Spike give him a nod of approval. The demon
gave him a measuring look and then nodded. "Oh yeah,"
thought Xander, "the big scary demon now thinks of me
as worthy of being pounded into goo." Oddly enough the
thought was somewhat comforting for the young man. At
least he wasn't being dismissed.
The demon scented the air and narrowed his eyes at
Spike who just raised his eyebrows questioningly. The
demon gave a very low growl, which Spike promptly
returned. Xander felt his stomach tighten further. "Oh
this is so not good." He groaned silently.
The demon turned to Nualla. "If you're done visiting,
it's time to come home. Now."
Xander winced, even he knew that phrasing a sentence
like that in that tone of voice was not of the good,
as Buffy used to say. He watched the sprite stiffen.
"Yup, the chin goes up, the lips drop down. Oh yeah,
she's gonna do whatever you want, not" Xander thought
as he mentally slapped his forehead. "And everyone
tells me I don't have a clue."
"Baby and I aren't done visiting my husband and his
friend yet." She answered with regal coldness.
"I've been patient," he bit out.
"Ha! You wouldn't know patient if you sat on it."
"Any patience I have is quickly being used up by a
spoiled little forest sprite that insists that it's
her way or no way at all!"
"My way! My way!" she shouted, "Well maybe I do dig
in my heels but if I didn't you'd walk all over me
with those big feet of yours."
Xander could swear he saw Daddy's eyes spark. "We are
not going to have this discussion in front of him," he
pointed at Spike, "and a human. We are going home!"
He made a grab at Nualla's arm, which was slapped out
of the way by Spike.
Wow, Xander hadn't even seen the vampire move. He'd
apparently been content to let the argument go but as
soon as the demon had reached for Nualla, that was
that. He was in gameface and standing right in front
of the sprite and the baby, snarling like a wolf on
steroids.
"Mine," he hissed. "Share yes; take no!"
Daddy roared in outrage and Xander quickly grabbed
Nualla by the shoulders and yanked her and the baby
out of the way. Oh yeah, this was bad.
"Stop it! William, Rolf! I mean it!" She yelled trying
to get the circling males' attention.
"Rolf?" thought Xander. "What the heck kind of name is
Rolf for a demon. No, no Rolf is the name you give a
Scandinavian massage expert, not a big scary demon. I
just find that disturbing." There was a loud crack and
a howl. Xander jerked his mind back to the matter at
hand, namely two very pissed off demons and one very
angry sprite.
Apparently Rolf had just taken a swipe at Spike and
had his nose punched for his troubles. Now Rolf
feinted to the left, oh but he snuck in with a right
hook. Give the Devil his due that was a nice move.
Spike was back with a roundhouse kick though that
scored a direct hit; unfortunately, not much damage.
Now they were circling each other again, both a little
more wary than before. Xander remember Spike saying he
could take down Daddy, yeah right. Look out, duck, oh
that had to hurt. Wow, good thing Spike didn't need to
breath.
Xander found himself ducking and weaving and wincing
with the battle. Spike was holding his own but Rolf
was not going down anytime soon. Nualla was yelling
and Xander suspected, cursing in a language he didn't
understand. Finally she stamped her foot and handed
Xander the baby who was awake and watching the
proceedings with wide eyes. Rolf grabbed the vampire
in bear hug and started to squeeze. Xander could swear
he heard bones creaking. Spike smacked the demon's
ears and Rolf howled and dropped him. The demon
stumbled slightly, shaking his head to clear it. Spike
was dancing and weaving like a professional boxer,
jumping in for quick jab then jumping out of range
again and laughing, the loon. Xander held his hand up
over the baby's eyes when Spike caught the demon a
good clip to the chin. Then Xander held his hands up
over both their eyes when Rolf managed to grab Spike
around the neck in one meaty paw. He was lifting the
vampire clear off the ground and pulling back a fist.
Xander glanced around wildly for anything to hit him
with or a place to set the baby or something.
With a sudden high-pitched war cry Nualla launched
herself at Daddy's back and latched on. In all the
excitement, Xander hadn't noticed her manoeuvring into
position. What did she think she was doing, she was
way too small to have any effect on the big guy. She
had managed to keep him from hitting Spike, although
the vampire was still being held off the ground. The
blond was hissing and clawing like a wet cat.
* * * * * *
"Good Lord, what's going on over there?" A very old,
rather blue haired Risa demon asked her companion.
"I don't know; it appears to be some sort of domestic
squabble." Her companion shuddered with delicate
contempt. "There appears to be a vampire involved;
well of course there would be. Hooligans."
"This was exactly what I was talking about earlier,
where is the Slayer? She supposed to keep the riff
raff in line. There's not much point in putting up
with the inconvenience of having a Slayer about if
she's not going to do the job properly." The Risa
shook her head in disgust.
"I couldn't agree more," her companion patted the
Risa's arm consolingly. She took one final look at
fight and sniffed disdainfully, "Disgraceful!"
* * * * * * *
"You let him go right now or so help me I'll do it. I
swear I will!" Nualla yelled.
The enraged demon didn't seem to be listening to her
although, Xander noted, aside from trying to shake her
off his back he wasn't making any other move to hurt
her.
"Rolf!" she yelled raising her hand. "Fine, I warned
you."
Xander saw Nualla slap a palm hard against her
husband's neck. He heard the demon groan before he
stood straight up like he'd been pole axed. Xander saw
Spike's eyes widen almost comically as he just managed
to gasp, "Oh bloody 'ell!" before Rolf fell on him
like the proverbial ton of bricks.
After the dust settled, so to speak, all that was
visible of the blonde were two splayed out arms and
his booted left foot. Xander had the wholly hysterical
fear that when they lifted Rolf off the vampire he
would be flattened like a cartoon character from an
old Road Runner episode.
"Spike, Spike, are you all right? Talk to me buddy."
Xander raced forward. He must be alive otherwise he'd
just be a big pile of dust.
Nualla had lightly jumped to her feet and then stared
down at her husbands in shock. She cringed, "Oops."
"Mffwfflglmgl," came from beneath the fallen demon.
"Oh, thank god," Xander sighed in relief. "Just hang
on, we'll get you out of there." He turned to the
chagrined sprite. "How are we gonna get him out of
there?"
She held up a hand, "It's okay, I got it." She reached
down and Xander's eyes bugged as she rolled the big
demon off Spike with surprising ease. "Oh, Will, I'm
so sorry." She said contritely. He just glared and she
wisely moved off to see to Rolf.
Xander dropped to his knees beside the disgruntled
vampire. Spike was muttering under his breath and
still in gameface. He was swiping at the dirt on his
coat, as his angry rumblings got louder. He glared at
the fallen demon and opened his mouth. Xander winced
and pointed frantically to the baby still in his arms.
"Little pitchers have big ears," he said as soothingly
as he could. It was pretty obvious that Spike was at
the end of his rope as far as family was concerned.
Spike settled for snarling and Xander stood offering
the angry blonde a hand up.
Spike shifted back to his human features and let the
man tug him to his feet. He didn't really need the
help but he did need the contact to help him continue
to calm down. Xander stood very still as Spike moved
so close that he was almost leaning against the human.
He just stood there and seemed to be consciously
breathing, in and out. It took Xander a minute to
realize that the vampire was soothing himself with the
scent of his child and Xander.
Nualla had rolled Daddy over onto his back and was now
kneeling by his side. "If you're going to behave
yourself, blink once." She must have been satisfied
with his answer because drew her arm back and again
slapped his neck. This time though, Xander was able to
see a thorn or something protruding from the palm of
her hand.
The demon began blinking rapidly and then suddenly sat
up. He stared at her; she stared at him.
"Are you okay?" They both asked at the same time.
"Right, that's it. We are going to the apartment and
the two of you are going to get this settled, tonight.
I'm not putting up with this anymore and neither is
Xander and I'm not having any child of mine raised in
this kind of atmosphere." Spike spoke each word very
clearly and succinctly. Xander had never heard him use
exactly that tone of voice before but for the first
time, Xander suspected he was seeing Spike the Master
Vampire.
Xander held his breath. Nualla and Rolf met each
other's eyes and then looked away, both nodded
guiltily. Spike indicated the way and the odd little
procession headed back to Xander's apartment.
............................................................................................................................................................................
Part Nine
It was a very subdued group that made its way
back to
Xander's apartment. Xander handed the baby back to
Nualla and walked by her side back to his place. Spike
was stalking along next to Rolf. The two demons had
automatically moved out in front as the procession had
started home.
Xander hadn't missed Nualla and Rolf's worry over each
other at the end of the fight. Because Spike was his
friend and he liked Nualla and the baby he'd been
prepared to dislike the errant father on principle,
but it was pretty obvious, even to someone as young as
him that those two crazy kids were head over heels in
love. The guy didn't have a clue how to deal with
women though. Xander tried to imagine giving orders to
Anya or Willow. He shuddered, even worse, Buffy or
Cordelia. Why even Joyce, who in his opinion had been
about the best mom in the world, regardless of her
occasional lapses, wouldn't have responded well to
orders. He could see her getting that very polite,
slightly confused look on her face while she asked you
to please repeat yourself, she couldn't have heard you
correctly.
It was funny really, the weekend had started out with
Spike telling him to get a clue in learning how women
think and it was ending with him getting a complete
crash course. He was determined to pay close attention
because he had a very strong feeling that he could
pick up some useful information concerning
relationships. He'd already decided that Spike was way
more patient and thoughtful then he'd ever realized.
He was also a total romantic. He'd helped Nualla get
the man, er, demon of her dreams. He'd been prepared
to let Nualla and Rolf yell at each other all night if
they needed to; it wasn't until Rolf had made a grab
for her that he'd gotten involved. Even after getting
knocked around and putting up with big and jealous, he
still wanted these two to work it out for the sake of
his daughter.
Xander, smiled to himself watching the two demons
covertly keep an eye on each other. Yeah, Spike knew
that Rolf was jealous, of that Xander was certain.
Heck, why wouldn't he be; good looking blonde vampire
who just happens to be your wife's other husband and
not her ex-husband either. She's having trouble at
home and whom does she go running to; her white
knight, Spike. What guy wouldn't be resentful?
He glanced at the sprite. She looked so sad. Man, he
hoped she wasn't going to cry. He hated it when women
cried; he just turned to mush. Not that Anya had ever
cried. He would have totally freaked if she had ever
broken down in tears. Willow had wept on his shoulder
a time or two. He smiled a tad bitterly; he was surely
even the cause of a few of her tears. The thing was,
when women cried he always felt like he should do
something, take action, slay a monster or at the very
least give someone a stern talking to. He wasn't very
good with the "I just need to get it all out" type of
tears that Willow usually cried on his shoulder.
After trial and error, he'd finally figured out that
his job was to just keep nodding and handing over
Kleenex. He was not to try to make useful suggestions
or jump up and swear to kill the guy; at least not
more than once.
Nualla sniffled a little and cuddled the baby. She
turned to talk to Xander and caught him staring at her
with a look approaching horror. He began frantically
rummaging around in his pockets before pulling out a
very tired looking wad of paper napkins? He was
offering them to her like a supplicant trying to
appease his goddess. She reached out and took one of
the less battered napkins and smiled hesitantly. The
poor young man, even for someone used to fighting at
the side of the Slayer, tonight must have seemed quite
harrowing at times.
"It's okay Xander. I promise, no more violence. I'm so
sorry and so ashamed. You must think I'm just a
terrible parent." She gave him a bewildered look. "I
don't even know how it got this bad."
"Maybe it's hormones?" He offered. "Not that I'm one
of those guys who assumes everything is hormones
because I'm not, unless of course you think it might
be?"
"You'd let me try and get away with that excuse huh?"
She gave a half-smile. "I don't think Rolf is going to
fall for that and I know William won't" She ended
wryly.
Spike didn't even turn around, "Too bloody right,
luv," he tossed over his shoulder.
Rolf grunted in agreement. He jerked his head in
Xander's direction. "He your new consort?"
"Why the bloody 'ell does everyone assume that the
whelp is my mate?" Spike growled.
The big demon gave him an incredulous look as he
ticked the reasons off one by one. "He smells like
you. We're going back to his place where you
apparently have an invite. Nualla said she was
visiting you and your 'friend'. He's another
good-looking brunette. He's human and you haven't
eaten him."
Spike opened his mouth to answer, then closed it, then
started again. "Right, well when you put it that way,
I can see how maybe, someone might get that idea but
they'd be wrong. I mean, look at him, he's a puppy."
Spike growled indignantly. Rolf held up his hands and
just shrugged. They continued to walk in silence.
"So you think he's good-looking then?" Spike asked
nonchalantly.
"For a human, he's all right; didn't run." Rolf
answered.
Spike smiled with a certain pride. "Yeah, he's a brave
one. Don't let on I said so though, can't let a human
get the upper hand. You know how they get."
Rolf nodded and he and Spike shared a knowing look.
They reached Xander's apartment without further
conversation. It was an awkward group that Xander
ushered into his living room. "Look, can I get anybody
anything to drink or something before I make myself
scarce."
Nualla sat perched on the edge of the easy chair with
the baby in her lap. She looked up apprehensively,
"You don't have to go."
"This is family business. I'll just go into the
bedroom and watch TV or something while you guys talk.
You are just going to talk right?" The young man bit
his lip worriedly.
"No worries mate, everyone is just going to talk."
Spike assured him giving the other two a pointed look.
Xander spared a last glance at the little group before
going to the kitchen to get a soda and heading to the
bedroom. He was definitely trying not to listen but he
couldn't help but overhear the beginning of the
discussion.
"You wanted to talk, so let's talk." Rolf started
brusquely. "Why don't you tell me what it is you think
I've done that's so terrible?"
Spike growled warningly.
Xander peeked his head out of the kitchen and caught
Nualla looking at her husband with big stricken eyes.
Her lower lip was quivering slightly but she was
trying valiantly not to cry. "You want to know, well
fine I'll tell you, you didn't even ask how she was,"
she cried before abruptly standing up and giving Spike
an apologetic look. "I'm sorry William I just can't talk
about this right now." She turned and rushed into the
guest room before closing the door solidly.
You could have heard a pin drop. Spike turned and
gave the demon a fierce look. Xander quickly moved
into the living room to forestall any violence all the
while chanting like a mantra "Fragile human in the
room, fragile human in the room, fragile human in the
room."
"You have got the sensitivity of a bleeding ox. Why
the 'ell she ever thought that you were the demon for
her I'll never know." Spike shook his head, "I
actually thought that her running off to see me was
rash and immature but after seeing the way you've
acted this evening I believe I've changed my mind. You
don't deserve her and you sure as bleedin 'ell don't
deserve that beautiful little baby in there." He ended
his tirade with a snarl.
Xander waited for the resulting explosion so he was
completely caught off guard when the big demon dropped
his head into his hands and said, "You're absolutely
right, I don't deserve them. I'm a terrible husband
and a bad father."
Xander blinked and looked at Spike who was staring at
the obviously distraught demon with narrowed eyes.
Xander crept quietly back to the kitchen switching his
soda for three beers. He returned and offered one to
the vampire and set one down in front of the troubled
demon. He settled into the easy chair. He had a
feeling it was going to be a long night.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Part Ten
After further studying the brooding demon,
Spike
finally sighed disgustedly. "I am not spending my
evening watching some big bloke brood. If I wanted to
do that, I could go to LA and watch a professional
brooder so why don't you tell me why you're such a bad
father and husband and after I get done agreeing with
you, we can all get on with our lives."
Rolf managed a half-hearted sneer in the vampire's
direction before taking a rather dainty sip of beer.
He stared off into the distance for a bit before
answering with a seeming non-sequiter. "She's so small
you know. That's what struck me the first time I laid
eyes on her. She's just a little bit of nothing, as
fragile as a butterfly's wing."
"I'm risking a guess here that we're talking about the
baby." Spike said quietly.
"Mostly the baby, but Nualla too." Rolf shook his
head. "I know she can take care of her self. She
proved that tonight. In fact she can take care of
herself so well that sometimes I wonder why she even
needs me around. She just whirls around organizing
this and taking care of that," he motioned vaguely.
"She's been on her own a long time mate. Did you want
her coming to you about every little thing?" Spike
questioned.
Rolf snorted, "No, of course not. I'm not some
insecure young one that needs constant reassurance
from his mate."
"No one said you needed constant reassurance but some
is a bit of alright." Spike smiled slightly.
The demon returned the smile reluctantly, "Some would
be nice, yes." He heaved a sigh. "I know I can be
slightly overbearing."
Xander couldn't help it. He swore he couldn't, he
choked on his beer. Spike reached over and casually
slapped his back.
Rolf glared, "Right, well some of what she sees as
bossy is for her own good. She's not on her own
anymore. I'm a chieftain; there are clan disputes and
old grudges. I want her to be safe. I want the baby to
be safe but whenever I put my foot down and insist she
stay close to home, she argues with me and usually
does the exact opposite." He looked very aggrieved.
"I'm just venturing a guess here; you ever explain why
you were laying down the law?" Spike asked
conversationally. Rolf grumbled something
unintelligible. "Right, I'll take that as a no."
"Chieftains don't explain decisions," Rolf grumbled.
"Chieftains might not, but good husbands and mates,
do. They discuss things even when they don't think
there's any room for discussion. They ask questions to
which they already know the answers just because it'll
make things easier down the road. And whenever
possible, no matter what the situation, they turn to
their mates and say, 'I don't know, what do you think
about it.'" Spike stared into the others demon's eyes
very seriously.
"Am I getting across here? Your mate is the one person
you should be able to talk to no matter what. The one
person you can admit not having all the answers to all
the questions and they won't care. They might even
have some answers you hadn't thought of but you have
to bleeding tell them what's going on." Spike finished
with a snarl.
He rubbed a weary hand over his face. Xander looked at
the tired vampire with respect. The young man leaned
forward and nudged the blonde slightly, handing him
his unopened beer. "Wow, you're good."
"That's probably why she loves you," the demon said
grudgingly after a moment.
"She loves you. She spent months trying to get your
attention. You are all the chit talked about while I
was with her. You just had to be the father of her
baby. The only reason I'm involved at all is because
you were too dense to figure out what was going on."
Spike threw up his hands.
"Really?" Rolf perked up. "She had her eye on me for
that long. I always thought that she just settled for
me because you wouldn't stick around. She just needed
some security and so she picked me."
Spike gave him and disbelieving look, "And all those
times at the market place with her constantly
accidentally running into you and dropping things and
you having to save her, what did you think that was?"
"I just thought she was clumsy." Rolf looked vaguely
uncomfortable.
Spike just stared, "No one's that clumsy, not even
Nummy here." Spike jerked his thumb.
"Hey," Xander exclaimed. "I've outgrown a lot of
that."
"Well I did wonder." Rolf's face was suddenly lit by a
beatific smile. "It was always me? I was first
choice?" The demon was grinning like a fool and kept
repeating; "I was first," before suddenly standing up
and marching down the hall to the guestroom and
rapping on the door.
"Nualla, I would like to speak with you please and say
hello to my daughter." He caught Spike's eye and
nodded, "If now is a good time for you of course,
otherwise I'll just wait out here with William and
Xander until you're ready."
Xander held his breath as the door slowly opened.
Nualla's head appeared as she motioned him into the
room and the door closed. Xander looked at Spike.
Spike looked at Xander as the pair waited with baited
breath. Five minutes passed, then ten and still no
explosion. Xander cleared his throat and grinned at
the blonde.
Spike lifted an eyebrow, "What are you grinning at
Whelp?"
"You," he sassed back. "William the Bloody, Marriage Counsellor Extraordinaire."
The vampire leaned back cockily and took a long pull
at his beer. "Yeah, I am pretty damn good."
Xander leaned forward, "Actually you are. All that
stuff you said about mates and husbands and wives and
stuff. You were right. I guess if you're marrying for
love that's how it should be." Xander frowned slightly
and seemed about to say something further when the
phone rang. Spike picked up the cordless and tossed it
to him.
"Hello? Anya? No it's not too late. What's up honey?
"Oh, yeah, hang on a sec." Xander hit the mute button
and stood up, taking a shaky breath.
"You okay?" Spike asked quietly.
"I'll let you know. She wants to have a talk. Will you
be here when I get done?" Xander tried to look
composed.
"I'll be here pet," Spike nodded. Xander looked
relieved before entering his bedroom and closing the
door. "I ought to start charging by the hour." He was
contemplating going out for a quick smoke when
Nualla's door opened and a grinning sprite and husband
exited the room. Rolf was holding the baby very
carefully in the crook of his arm although he could
have just as easily held her in one hand.
"Rolf and I wondered if you would watch her for just a
bit. We wanted to go out and enjoy the park and the
stars." Nualla couldn't seem to stop smiling and
looking up at her big husband like he was a goof but
the most wonderful goof in the world. He was just
grinning back like a fool.
Spike raised an eyebrow; those two were totally
besotted with each other. "I'll be happy to look after
the Nibblet while the two of you 'take a walk in the
park'" Spike stressed the last words with a smirk. Who
were they trying to kid, walk in the park to enjoy the
stars, right.
The sprite blushed and darned if Rolf did flush as
well. The baby was exchanged carefully. Spike smiled
down at the gurgling baby. Nualla stared at him for a
moment before abruptly dropping to her knees and
giving the astonished vampire a fierce but careful
hug. "I love you and thank you very, very much. You
are always welcome in our home. You and your friend."
She kissed him gently on the lips before standing back
up and entwining her arm with her husband's. He gave
the flustered vampire a grave look; "We will expect
you at the Naming Day, William." He said firmly before
the two lovebirds turned and left on their stroll.
Spike waved them on their way before bending down and
blowing softly on the baby's tummy, causing her to coo
delightedly and wiggle. "You're probably going to be
driving the blokes just as crazy when you get older."
He grimaced, "I'll have to trust Him to keep the
louts away. You listen to him though, he's a bit of a
tyrant but he means well. Although, you'll probably
have him wrapped around your little finger by the time
you're one." He stared at her intently, "Naw, you're
my daughter. You'll have him wrapped around your
finger by your Naming Day." He winked at her.
He leaned forward and pantomimed swallowing her hands.
She laughed at him. "You'll be a lady though, both of
them will see to that; a real live princess. But
princess or not you listen to those that know better.
Always make sure of your kills. Don't turn your back
on an enemy. You can't trust a vampire and proper
ladies and gentlemen always have a clean
handkerchief," he pulled a bandana out of his duster
pocket to show her," because you just never know."
His daughter stared at him very solemnly for a moment
and he actually had the feeling that she was
committing his little speech to memory but then he
laughed, that was a nutty thought.
He heard the bedroom door open and he glanced down at
his daughter. "Don't know which is worse princess;
when a woman says you have to have a talk or when she
says there's nothing to talk about."
Xander entered the living room and smiled sadly at the
blonde and the baby. He hung up the phone and dropped
next to the pair. He gave Spike a sardonic grin;
"After thinking about it, she decided I was right, we
did need time and slowing down was a good idea." He
leaned his head back, "First time I've even been right
in an argument with Anya and it has to be about this."
Spike and the baby waited patiently.
Xander turned his head and stared at the blonde. He
gave him a tired smile and closed his eyes. "I'm okay
though, after what I've seen this weekend, I've
decided you have got to be in serious love or in
desperate need of money because why else would you put
up with the craziness?"
He opened his eyes and looked down at the little
bundle. "I have however decided that I want one of
those." He tickled the little girl and she obligingly
blew a bubble at him.
"Mine, Harris, go get your own." Spike said mockingly.
"But she's kinda like mine." Xander said. "We both
belong to you so she kinda belongs to me." The young
man seemed to realize what he said and stammered,
"What I mean is,"
Spike laughed out loud. "Harris, don't even bother."
Xander grinned ruefully.
Spike suddenly sniffed suspiciously. Xander sniffed.
They both looked down at the cooing baby.
"So she kinda belongs to you?" Spike offered her to
the suddenly wary young man.
Xander scooted back, "Yeah but you're her dad."
"You've had practice."
"That's right, I've had practice that means it's your
turn."
"Harris."
"William."
"Oh bloody 'ell."
The End