exiting my eden,
tucking my hair behind my ears
counting on my fingers all the things i've left behind.
(making lists of the warm places i used to go
before i went away.)
this i do in silence,
meditation.
i'm walking away from my eden.
having long lost what i had taken with,
having thrown away what i didn't want to share.
i have been reduced to wearing heavy black:
velvet, linen, wool--mood.
a dissonance that stretches on for days & days
for an eternity of days.
i'm crawling on my belly away from my eden,
bloodying my palms.
in light of the long winter's revenge on me.
i'm trying to fix you
but i'm just chipping my nailpolish.
i'm hurrying away from my eden,
rushing darkward.
climbing, clawing, seeking, thirsting,
searching, searching, aiming, REACHING,
trembling.
heartily trembling...
rushing nothingward,
hurrying worseward.
exiting my eden.
home.
fairy tales.
detour.
phaedra.
