I was blinded by love
I saw only him
Everyone else was obsolete.
I didn't care what other thought
He was mine and I was his
And thats how it should have stayed
But its all over now
The blinders are still there
I still love this man
I know this because
In my life
There is still only him
And that is how it will be
I'm striving to see
Free from my sights
Free from my mind
But I do not want to let him go
I still strive to see

05.01

Back to Top

Tired

Things only last so long
Things will only get better
Thats what they say
But I'm tired of that shit
I'm tired of hearing the words
You won't always be alone
Someday you'll find the right one
When you think you do
It blows up in your face
I'm tired of living this life
Have patience they say
But my patience has run out
I'm tired of living my life
Full of nothingness
Full of loneliness
Full of nothing but let downs
And full of put ups
You have to put up with shit
Your familes, the law
I say fuck the world
I say I'm tired of it all
The demons are in my head
They're telling me to do it
I think I'll agree
I'm tired of this world
Its time to sleep..

06.01

Back to Top

Go Away

Fuck the world
Someday I will
Fucking go away
I'll kill you all
Shut the fuck up
I can't stand you anymore
Just leave me alone
Go away!
Stupid piece of shit
You're a worthless liar
You don't know anything
About my life
About my soul
Just leave me alone
Fuck you
You stupid whore
Just fucking go away

07.01

Back to Top

Why Won't You Die

Why won't you die
Can't you see I hate you
Just leave this place
Your worthless
Your a liar
Aren't you tired?
Sleep now my child
Let the demons take over you
Let them take you away
Die now
Why won't you die
Damn whore
Suffer now
Suffer the pain
The pain you caused
Demons take them away
Why won't you die?

08.01

Back to Top

Save Me

They came to me once more
They raped my body again
The demons in my head
They love to scream
Like a banchee
I hear them echo..
echo..
They take over my soul,
They steal it all away
Save me from them now
Before it is to late..

12.98

Back to Top

He

Beyond the darkest night
Beyond the sweetest words
There is a man
Whose worse
He's worse then you can imagine
He will take your soul
He will rape you of your pride

07.01

Back to Top

The Tear

I tasted the salt upon my face
The wetness of the first tear
It crept down my cheek slowly
Heading towards my lips
Then suddenly sliding down my chin
I wait to see what it does next
Does it fall?
Does it soak into my skin?
Suddenly the tear grows and falls
I watch it as it tumbles towards the ground
And suddenly it hits a small splash
A spread of the tear from my eye
The last tear I shall ever cry.
and make you feel whole.

11.01

Back to Top

A Taste of Joy

A taste of joy
How sweet it was
Then it all
Faded away
He ruined me
He slapped me down
My heart can no longer
Feel the pain
Joy is something
I shall never have
Never again
Shall I feel
I hate my life
I want to die
Why did he
Have to ruin me
Forever now
I will be broken
Lies and deception
Have done this to me

03.01

Back to Top

Happiness

Everytime I wake up
I think of you my love
I think of being in your arms
I think of the happiness you brought

Everytime I lay down at night
I think of the things you said
How you whispered you love me
How you told me you cared

Everytime I see your face
A smile plays gently on my lips
I smile because I know your mine
I smile because I belong to you

Everything seems so perfect
Everything seems so right
We bring hope
We bring happiness.

03.01

Back to Top

Sight Of Blood

Sight of blood
Taste of hate
How can I
Live in this state
I long to die
To be left alone
I long to forever
Never hold
Forget me now
I am lost
Things to me
Are not important
Nothing seems
To fill me now
Love and lust
What are they?
Hate and pain
Is all I know
Take haste
And go
Leave me here
To rot in hell
Alone and lost
Forever to burn

04.01

Back to Top

Fuck You

With such sweet sorrow
I let you go today
Leave my side
Be cast aside

Leave me be
Go now you freak
Be gone you stupid whore
Leave me you slut

Go fuck yourself
Go to hell and die
fuck you bitch
fuck you!

07.01

Back to Top

Just a Face

And to this face
Shall be a name

When asked
Will you remember the name?

Will you know my name
Will you understand me?

Do you know how it feels?
To be a forgotten soul

How it feels to be
Just a face

To hear them call
'Hey you'

That is me
I am that

Just a face
Just another face.

10.01

Back to Top

Dagger

Stab the dagger into my heart
Twist it in a little deeper
Pain is all I ever live for
Hate and fear is what I long for

Drive the stake a little deeper
Just as if I were a vampire
Drive the last nail in the coffin
Burry me deep.

Deep to where I'll be in Hell
Hell is where I deserve to be
Both you and I know its true
Dont deny what is right

Now twist the knife a little deeper
Watch the blood run down the front of me
Will I live or will I die
Tis only my fate for you to decide

Death will come upon me
For you have decided that
You have stuck the knife into me
You have sent me straight to Hell.

04.98

Back to Top

Inside The Crazed Mind

The feelings inside
The ones I hide
From you and the world
They hurt so bad
They shall never show
I hide them
Deep inside of me
There is no hope
There is no faith
Pain and grief is what I feel
Why I ask myself
It drives me mad
It drives me crazy
To think I onced loved
Now love is no more
To think I used to hate
I just hate even more
The devil in me will come
Soon my child it will come
So you think I'm crazy
You may be right
Don't kid yourself
Your know you don't love me
You only hate me
My emotions run strong
My heart is so cold
My mind is so full
Full of thoughts
Thought soft lust
I was tricked into love
No, It was lust
The pleasure I thought was there
Now I see I was kidding myself
I scream at night
As the demons come for me
Once they raped me
Now they're back for more
They tease my body
They make me whole
To love
To hate
What is that like?
Am I mad?
I do believe I am
You know its true
You think I'm nuts
I see a girl
Standing in a pool of her own blood
Oh wait...
That girl is me
You don't believe me?
You just wait and see
He came and had his way with me
I am forever dead
No one to come to see me
No one who cares
I now lay in a grave
My body rotting
To forever never be mourned.

11.97

Back to Top

Die

The blood ran down the front of me
It stained my shirt wtih misery
The dagger slipped!
I swear it did!
Oh god!
Why me!?
I didnt want to die this way
I suppose you wanted it this way
You spit on me ,you hated me
Are you happy now that I sit in Hell?
I wait for your arrival
You will become my whore and I will toture you
Down here in hell is where I sit
You put me here and now you shall join me
No one to love you
No one to say goodbye
You will be eaten alive
You will scream but no one will help
You shall suffer with me
I shall have my fun with you
I shall beat you down
You have earned all this
And I will never let you go
I will just laugh at you
You are nothing but a bitch
Now you shall suffer
You shall rot in Hell.

06.99
Back to Top

In the Twilight of the Night

In the twilight of the night
She stood there all alone
the blood dripped from her arm.
It landed on the ground
Staining it red
She watched and cried
As she bled
What had she done
It was all over now
Her life, her dream
Her dream of being a dancer
Beautiful and free
Her dream of being loved
Her dream of having no fear
Now there shall be no more dreams
She falls to her knees
She crys as her body grows weak
And her sight begins to fade
She lays upon the ground
Now in a pool of her own blood
It soaked her beautiful hair
She cried
Alone
And died
The same
In the twilight of the night.

09.01

Back to Top

Single Words

Word
Speak
Forever
Now
Come
To
Me
Be
Mine
A
Single
Kiss
Steal
Your
Soul
You
Now
Are
Forever
Mine

07.00

Back to Top

Depression

A black night
A cold face
A hard heart
A cold mind
Shall this girl
Ever take grace
She did kill
A heartful soul
Now again she will
Kill once more
She hates the happiness
She loves the pain
She wants to see
Blood in vain.

10.01

Back to Top

Lonely New Year

Another year,
Another piece
Another piece of her heart
All alone

She sits and stares
And cries as she listens
Listens to the silence
Listens to the people

The noise she hears outside
The greatest noise she'll ever hear
Nothing will ever change,
She'll forever be alone,
She knows this now

Just another year passed
Just another dying heart
This morbid mind sits alone
As she feels torn apart

Torn apart from the world
A world who will never see
How great a woman she can be
They will never see

She'll live her life,
Year by year
And will still feel lonely
Every New Year.

12.00

Back to Top

Dancing Alone

Sitting alone,
Against a wall
She crys so softly

Tears no one hears
Tears no one sees
Tears to be forgotten

She slowly stands
And gently walks
Out to the dance floor

She closes her eyes
Caring not who sees
As she glides across the floor

She lifts her arms
In the air
Holding the man of her dreams

The people stop
And they stare
As she dances alone

She dances for hours
Her eyes stay closed
The magic carries her feet.

A single dream
A lonely tear
Yet she still dances alone.

11.00

Back to Top

Tender Hands

Into your room
He comes
His hands raised
He calls them tender

He sits down
Rubs your cheek
The sting he leaves
He calls them tender

Ripping off your cloths
Rubbing down your body
Forcing your mouth shut
He calls them tender

He beats your ass
You can not scream
You cry once he leaves
He calls them tender hands

You scream for help
No one comes
No one cares
He calls them his tender hands.

02.01

Back to Top

Bitterly Sweet

Tongue across lips
Taste so sweet
Fumbling fingers
Low whispers

Blushing cheeks
Fluttering eyes
Gentle touch
Sweet kiss

Its just bitter
Bitterly sweet
You really want this?
You'll never have it

People's dreams
Bitterly sweet
Never shall they
Have all this

07.01

Back to Top

Realizing Too Late

She stands in front of him
The tears streak down her face
He holds her close one last time
She realizes to late
She realizes how much she loves him
How much she wished he didn't have to leave
"Its to soon, don't go yet"
He shakes his head picking up his bags
"I must, I must go now"
She crys harder and holds him tightly
She realizes to late
How little time they spent together
How little they laughed with each other
How much she loves him
The only real love in her life
He is gone now,
She realized to late.

12.00

Back to Top

Release the Hounds

Release the hounds
The ones from hell
Its time to feed
Upon the souls

Release the hounds
To roam the earth
To feed on human souls
To cause chaos

Release the hounds
From the pits below
Let them do Lucifers work
Let them drive you mad

02.00

Back to Top

Untitled

Sitting here
Thinking of you
A smile crosses my face
Love and lust
Love once lost
Shall see another day
I know I have you
I know I love you
I know forever
You shall be mine
My darling
My sweet
My everything
My world
My life
My heart.

03.01

Back to Top

Nothing

Everything I am
Is nothing I'll be
Everything you see
Is nothing I see
Everything you want
Is something you'll never have

In this world
Time means nothing
Your veiw means nothing
Its fucked up
Don't you think?

Everytime you turn around
you'll see nothing
Everytime you close your eyes
you'll see everything
Everytime you dream at night
You kill them in your sleep

11.99

Back to Top

Pity Me

I watch you day after day
You cry you weep
You moan you grown
"pity me"

You say its a suit
I say you need to strip of it
You say its not an act
Its all a "pity me" act

You say your going to die
Why not keep your promises
You say when and how
Here's the rope

Why do you do this
You keep coming back
I tell you to fuck off
You feed me the "pity me" act

Stop with the act
Stop with the crying
Shut your fucking mouth
"pity me"

11.99

Back to Top

Empty

Look into her eyes
The eyes of blue
Blue as the sky
Empty

Look into her heart
A heart so sweet
A heart thats black
Empty

Look into her soul
Its slowly fading
Is it there
Empty

Empty is this girl
Empty is her soul
Empty like her head
Empty like her heart.

06.99

Back to Top

Love

Getting kissed by you
Evertime I'm near you
Opens a new door
Return your heart to me
Greatest love
Ever felt
Come to me
Open your eyes
Unwind and let go
Caress me now
Hold me forever

04.01

Back to Top

Escape

Intertwining thoughts
Exploading in my head
No escape
So much blood
Escape from reality
Into my past
Towards my future
Tears of pain
Tears of pleasure

11.01

Back to Top

Wound

Enter the open wound
The blood fills the room
Knowing no strength
The knife goes deeper
Cutting into the skin
Hear the ripping
Spreading apart
The wound grows
Spreading the blood arouns
Covering the eyes
Blackening world
Soft whispers
Loud screams
Fading away
Dying tonight

11.01

Back to Top

Killing Myself

With the drugs I take
And the cigarettes I smoke
And the razor blades I cut with
I'm slowly killing myself
No one cares
Though they say the y do
But if I did why do they turn their back?
And now I'm slowly killing myself
You don't believe me
But one day you'll see
I'll be gone and you'll ask why
And someday I'll kill myself
Ignore the messages, the cries for help
Ignore them all you like
But someday you'll know
That I killed myself

10.01

Back to Top

Bloody Death

Looking down
The knife in hand
I slowly push against the skin Watching the blood drip
My eyes widen
I cut deeper
I don't scream
I don't cry
Its what I want
I think about everything
The good times
The bad times
But it still doesn't stop me
Finaally I lay back dropping the knife
My eyes slowly close
The blood surrounds me
I'm gone...
I'm dead...

11.01

Back to Top

Cry For Me

Little boy
Standing there
Crying
Crying
Cry for me...
Little girl
Bruised eye
Crying
Crying
Cry for me...
Old man
Rocking there
Crying
Crying
Cry for me

10.00

Back to Top

Tearing Me Apart

Good for nothing
Emotions gone bad
Love run dry
LIfe flew away
Its tearing me apart
Sweet little child
No longer innocent
Hair tattered
Eyes Crying
Its tearing me apart
Homeless man
Drunken father
Beaten wife
Broken sone
Its tearing me apart

07.00

Back to Top

Torn Apart

Dying...
I wish I was
Living...
My only life Crying...
For the loss of soul
Laughing...
At you Sleeping...
Away the day
Being...
Torn apart

05.01

Back to Top

Shattered Glass

Shattered glass
Like shattered tears
Scattered on the ground
Shattered Glass
Can make you bleed
When you walk upon is
Shattered glass
Likse your shattered soul
Can never be fixed
Shattered glass
In my heart
Tearing it apart

08.01

Back to Top

Hunger

Feel it deep within you
The hunger overtakes
It eats at your insides
It swallows you whole
You want to unleash it
You want to caress it
It wants to overtake you
It controls you now
You come to its commands
You slowly touch yourself
"Gently now" It whispers in your ear
You follow its words
It speaks so softly to you
Your body begins to shake
Your eyes start to close
Your mouth opens
You slowly begin to moan
Your cries become louder
Then the hunger dies
You are content
You feel empty again.

10.24.2002

Back to Top

In Grave

Simple words written
With time they'll only tell
Will you remember me?
After I'm dead
Living in hell
Will you visit me?
Will you speak to my soul
Will you read the words
Written upon the stone.
Will they be kind and full of joy
Or will they be hurtful and full of hate
After I'm in grave
Will you remember me
Will you be careful of where you step
Or will you happily step over me.
Leaving your feet prints in the ground
I am buried forever
I am in grave.

~Tami~
10.12.04

Back to Top

Relationships

Unloved, untouched.
No one wants me.
A girl like me.
Left alone
Lying in darkness
Feelings of fear
Screaming on the inside
Falling deep into the night
Draging my nails into skin
The blood seeps out
Dripping slowly
Loving everyone
But getting nothing back
Learning to be cold
Seeing a false light
In the end
You all hurt me
My heart in many pieces
Feeling nothing
A heart of ice
Tired of trying
Tired of being broken.

~Tami~
01.16.05