I am not living my life as I wish right now, I am doing what I have to do in order to accomplish what I want later in life. It is that whole delayed gratification kick I am on. Viva Las Vegas baby! Phish, live. Hopefully with two pretty good freinds. I won't even get started, yeah I am hurt a little, just the way I presented myself to him. I love music. I love the openess of life right now. I love being spontaneous and I love the energy it gives me. I want more out of life than what has been given to me. I just want someone to share it with. I noticed there was a lot of I's in this message, but that is all I have to say. I want more out of this then this right now. I have been really hard on myself latly on things I cannot change, I get the feeling its a game I play with myself that two weeks from now, nothing will matter when I know it will just be covered up.. cry me a river right? Folks, it's not like that, I have to lie in order not to get my feelings hurt, since when do I have to do this? Is it the fact I cannot live my life how I want without lying? I am trying to move out of my house because this is not my room...I am a guest in my own room...where do I go from here? I am going to play on my new rebuilt computer....I can't sleep but I want to. I want simplicity~ laziness? no, I want to be lazy and enjoy my life happily. peace luv.