I awoke in a cold sweat. I was breathing fast and my heart was racing. I felt cold even though I was covered in blankets. I wanted to run for some reason, but the blankets were too heavy and my body was weak. I felt a gentle hand place me down on the bed, and a comforting voice put me back to sleep.
I felt myself waking up a couple of times like that and I didn't know why. I finally woke up one afternoon. My body felt well rested and my eyes no longer felt heavy with sleep. I felt a sharp pain in my leg. I looked down and found a purple bruise there. I ran my finger on it, and almost cried from the pain. As I was running my fingers on the bruise I saw a bandage on my hand. The bandage was moist with bright red blood. I took the safety pin off of it.
After I had unwrapped it I prepared myself for what I was about to see. I opened my eyes and looked at a big cut that was on my palm right under my thumb. It had been sewed up already so it wasn't that bad. I touched it lightly but it was numb.
I heard a door opening, and then footsteps coming towards the room. I grabbed anything I could to protect myself. Unfortunately the nearest thing I could find was a flashlight. I walked and hid behind the door ready to attack anyone who might bring danger. The person walked in and I almost hit him before I realized who it was.
I droppped the flashlight on the floor and looked at Oscar. He looked at me worried, "Why are you out of bed in your condition?" He extended his hand out to me, but I stepped back slowly.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"What amd I doing here? Sophie this is my apartment... I live here," he answered laughing.
I looked around only to find that it was true. I hadn't even noticed it. "What am I doing here?"
"Well, I was getting a coffee and coming back to my apartment when you bumped into me and fell. You were knocked unconscious in your fall. I brought you back to my place and called the doctor. He said you had a very high fever and recommended you rest. He fixed you up and left some pills for you."
I was confused and speechless. "I need to get out of here," I said getting up.
"You can't Sophie, not in your condition."
"I'll call a cab."
"No, you don't understand me... you can't leave in your CONDITION." He placed his hand on my stomach and looked me in the eyes.
I understood right away what he meant... I was pregnat. I sat down slowly shocked. Oscar sat next to me holding my hand.
"But...how?" I asked still shocked.
"The doctor did some tests on you and he found you were pregnat. He told me that you should be more careful with the baby..."
I placed my hand on my stomach, and looked at Oscar. "Listen I'll be fine... I need to go home. I can take care of myself. Everything's fine."
He looked at me with sad puppy eyes,"Are you sure?"
"Positive." I stood up again and he followed me. "Let me give you a ride home," he said.
"Ok, thanks"
Oscar drove me home and made sure I made it to my door alright. I thanked him and said bye to him. I had forgiven Oscar ever since Nick and I had gotten serious about things. Nick! Thinking about his name flooded my mind with the memory of that night. I felt hurt. I felt like my whole world had crashed and was no longer significant. Warm salty tears flowed from my eyes, but I didn't wipe them off. I let them flow from my eyes.
Nick had hurt me just like Oscar had too, but could I forgive him like I had forgiven Oscar. No... I couldn't. This time it had hurt much more because I loved Nick with all my heart.
"I'm not going to cry anymore. I wiped my tears off, this wasn't worth it. I can do better. I don't have the time to sit down and cry. I have a baby to love now. Nick will never know about this child. I'll tell him it's not his. I'll tell him it's Oscar's and I'll hurt him just like he hurt me."
I stood up determined to live on. "It hurts, but this time I'm not gonna let the pain last." I erased all of the messages on the answering machine without hearing them.
The doorbell rang just as I was going to take a shower. I opened the door to find Belle standing there. She hugged me and laughed.
"Oh my God!!! You're pregnat!" She placed her hand on my belly just as Oscar had done. Then she placed her ear against it. I laughed and pushed her away jokingly.
"Are you going to tell the whole neighborhood or something?"
She laughed and hugged me again. She started crying, "I'm so happy for you..." she said throught tears.
She let go and stepped back. She had the biggest smile ever on her face. "I was on my way to work and Oscar called me. He told me everything and I rushed over. You're going to stay at my place from now on. It's very dangerous for you to be going up and down those stairs. So... grab some stuff and let's go."
"Ok, give me a minute."
We went upstairs and with the help of Belle I packed some of my clothes and things that I needed. The we talked to the manager of the apartments and told her about my moving for some time. She told me that that would be fine. So we hopped into Belle's car and headed towards her house.
While we were in the car I asked Belle something, "Belle... does Nick no where your house is at?"
"No...but if you want..."
"No, that's ok," I said cutting her off.
"Ok."
We arrived at Belle's house and she carried everything inside. We spent the whole evenng preparing a room for me. After Belle ordered a pizza and we sat in the den watching a movie.
My mind wasn't on the movie though. It was on everything that was happening in my life. How I once loved Nick, but now wanted to forget him so badly. Belle fell asleep on the couch after a while. So, I turned off the tv and covered her with a blanket. I headed upstairs to my room to get some sleep. That night I had four different dreams. The first one was of Alexis telling me something but I couldn't really understand her because she was talking like a baby. Next I dreamt of Oscar and how he was throwing roses at me and I was happy and he was happy. The other dream was of Nick chasing me and I kept on running and running. Hiding everywhere I could but he kept on catching up with me. My last dream scared me. It was of me holding something in my hands not really knowing what it was and then my hands covered in blood, and I had black reflecting eyes which were crying blood.
So I woke up that night sweating and breathing hard again. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and sat down at the table. The house was quiet except for the low hum of the refrigerator which stood at the corner of the room.
I didn't want to think of my nightmare anymore so in order to forget about it, I told myself that it was only because I was in a new place. I finished my glass of water and walked back to my room. Before I got there though, I stopped at Belle's room to check in on her. She lay asleep on her bed with the window open. So without waking her up I walked over to the other side of the room and closed the window.
It had stopped raining a few days ago. I had lost 4 days of my life thanks to that fever. I went back into my bed. As I closed my eyes I got the feeling that things were going to change. Big changes and some of those changes scared me.
