"Why do I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to you Carter?"I asked, with a slight smile even though my smile didn't match my emotions. Who knows when the next time I'd get to see him would be.

He pulled his navy blue cap over his eyes. It hid his blond hair well. His arms curled around my waist. We were standing in the airport and I was on the verge of tears. Way to go Angela. Just burst into tears in a public area.

"Hey baby, you look like you're gonna cry. Don't be crying, aight?"Nick said softly, his hand coming up to stroke my cheek. I didn't think it was possible to love someone this much who was the complete opposite from me. We had totally different lifestyles and personalities and yet I loved him with all of my heart.

"I'm not going to cry,"I managed to get out. It was more of a statement trying to convince myself than him.

"Don't,"he told me.

Suddenly we heard them announcing the last call for the flight.

"Well that's me Angel. I gotta go. I'll call you tonight ok?"Nick said. He pulled me to him. I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Nick kissed my cheek softly and then my lips for a split second,"It'll be ok Ang."

"Yeah,"I said, even though that's not what I was thinking.

"I love you,"he whispered into my ear, kissing my cheek lightly. I pulled him to me by his hooded sweatshirt and kissed his lips lightly again.

"Love you too,"I said against his lips.

"Bye,"he said, and turned to walk away. I wouln't let go of his hand.

He turned back around and raised an eyebrow, giving me an amused look,"Ang, I ain't leavin unless you let go." I really didn't want him to leave. Why couldn't I just have a normal, average boyfriend. No, I gotta fall in love with the superstars.

"Damn, you caught on to my plan,"I grinned. I noticed a small group of girls eyeing us from a few yards away. Shit. I let go of his hand. "Go ahead Nick."

He smiled,"I'll miss ya."

I nodded and noticed that the small group had turned into a small crowd,"You too. Call me ok?" I wanted both of us to get out in one piece and if he didn't go it wouldn't happen.

Nick must've seen me look over his shoulder and he turned around. The girls started whispering loudly and grinning like they'd just won the lottery.

"Aw shit,"he muttered. He gave me one last hug. "I'll call you later, bye Ang."

"Bye Nicky,"I replied and watched as he turned and waved to the girls who went hysterical. He gave the attendant his ticket and boarded the plane. The girls now had their interest directed at me. Dammit, I didn't want to be attacked. I smiled nervously and turned around to leave, begging to God that they wouldn't follow me.

As I left the airport, all I could think about was how much I missed him. I wanted him here with me right now. But he couldn't be and I knew it was either see him sometimes or see him never, which I definitely didn't want. He made me happy and I've waited 23 years for a guy who made me happy. I fell in love with him and I wasn't going to let my stupid, selfish emotions make me lose him.

When I got home, I let myself into my apartment to see Meredith and Rob embracing. Tears were streaming down Meredith's face and I just stopped and observed wondering what the hell was going on.

Meredith finally saw me and she grinned widely, holding up her left hand proudly. I saw the sparkling diamond on the platinum band and my eyes went wide.

"Rob proposed! We're getting married Ang!"Meredith cried out.

Now my reaction wasn't one I expected. I actually had to force the smile on my face. How terrible am I? Oh my god, I'm a terrible friend. Yes I'm happy for her, she's my best friend and all, but for some reason all I can think about is what's going to happen to us. It's never going to be the same again. Meredith's going to get married and start a family and things will never be the same. Everything was changing and I couldn't stop it.

"Oh god Mere,congratulations sweetie,"I said, giving her a hug. I moved over to Rob and forced myself to give him an awkward hug, muttering,"Congratulations."

"Thank you,"he replied as I pulled away from the hug quickly. Gross, I can't believe I hugged him.

"Oh my god!"Meredith cried out tears still streaming down her face, pulling me into a hug again. "You have to be my maid of honor Angel!"

I grinned and squealed. Ok this I was happy about,"Of course I will Merrie."

"I can't believe I'm getting married,"Meredith squealed happily hugging me once again then squeezed Rob's hand.

I looked down to see Theo jumping at Meredith's feet. I smiled lightly and picked him up, holding him.

"We're going to start planning right away,"Meredith said quickly. "I can't believe this. I have to call my parents."

And so she rushed to the phone in a frenzie, dialing her parents' number and practically yelled incoherantly into the phone. I bursted out laughing. That's my Meredith all right.

I looked at Rob and he was smiling. "Hey treat her right ok? She's my best friend and I love her so you better make her happy."

"I love her too and I would never hurt her,"he replied defensively.

"I know,"I said with a nod. "I can't believe you two are getting married."

"Yeah I've been debating on when to ask her for months and it just seemed right. I had to do it before I lost my nerve,"Rob said with a slight smile.

"She's been waiting for you to ask her,"I told him honestly. "She really loves you."

"I really love her too,"he said. "I've never felt like this about someone before. She's just so amazing and incredible and I'm so lucky."

I couldn't believe he was pouring his heart out like this to me but I smiled. I knew he really loved her and since Meredith loved him then I knew he must not be that bad. This was progress though, him talking to me like this. We were actually being civil.

"Hey Rob maybe you're not so bad after all,"I told him.

"Yeah maybe your not either,"he replied with a grin.

I looked over to Meredith who looked like she was ready to hyperventilate while she was obviously talking to her mom.

"I just love her so much,"Rob said.

"Yeah,"I nodded and I knew he did.

"Hey Ang, what's goin on?"Nick asked as I called his cell phone that night.

"Well Meredith's getting married,"I told him.

"That's great...you don't sound thrilled,"Nick said.

"I'm happy for her, really I am,"I said as my eyes filled with tears. God now I was crying. I'm the worst friend in the world.

"Angela what's wrong?"he sounded concerned.

"I don't know!"I cried, I snuggled into my comforter tightly. "I just feel...I don't know-I guess like I'm losing my best friend. Which I know is stupid and I know I'm being stupid and selfish, but I can't help it. What the hell's wrong with me Nick??"

"Nothing's wrong with you,"I could hear the smile in his voice. "How long have you guys been close?"

"Since we were toddlers,"I sniffed.

"Well then I guess it would feel like you're losing your best friend then wouldn't it? You've known her your whole life and you're best friends and roommates, but baby just because she's getting married isn't going to make any difference how much she loves you and it isn't gonna make you two stop being best friends,"Nick said, sounding actually mature.

I sniffled again,"I guess so. I'm the worst friend in the world. She's practically my sister and here I am crying because she's getting married. I'm a selfish, terrible friend."

"No you're not,"Nick said. "I wish I was there right now with you."

"I wish you were too,"I said as a fresh tear trickled down my face, and I wiped it away with the sleave of my flannel night shirt. "Geez, do I hear violins playing in the background? How sad am I? I'm sitting here, feeling incredibly sorry for myself."

"I got an idea. Come on tour with me,"Nick said. He was being unpractical and he knew it too.

"You know I can't Nick. That's like me saying 'hey fly down tonight'. I know you can't so I wouldn't say that,"I told him.

"Yeah but I'm actually doing something,"Nick said.

Did he actually just say that to me?? "Oh and I'm just sitting on my ass doing nothing all day, is that it???"

"Ang-"

"No! Don't say anything Nick! It's nice that you think so highly of me. I'm sorry that I'm not on tour making millions, but that's not exactly normal life. Sorry to burst your little bubble in celebrity land. I'm sorry if I don't live your life and if you think I actually sit at home and do nothing then that shows how little you know about me. I work and I support MYSELF. I don't have people fucking pampering me all the time."

"Where the fuck do you get off saying that??"Nick shouted into the phone.

I couldn't believe he just said that either,"Where do I get off saying that?? What the hell Nick! You go freakin insulting me and my lifestyle and expect me to just sit here and not say anything?"

"WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ANGELA?? Please enlighten me!"he yelled. I could hear how angry he was and I was glad because now he could feel how angry he made me.

"'Well I'm actually doin somethin',"I imitated. "That's what the fuck you said Nick! Now would you just explain what the hell you were trying to say when you said that!"

"I wasn't trying to say anything! Why are you blowing this out of proportion???"Nick screamed exasperated.

"I'm NOT blowing this out of proportion. You make some shitty comment like that and I'm just supposed to sit here and say ok??? Well Nick let me tell you, you're not the only one doing something! I work, I have friends, I have a life and I don't need you. I can't just leave my life on a moments notice. I can't be at your beckon call! I would never ask you to do that!"

"I'm not asking you to be at my beckon call Angela!! I know you work and have have a life, whatever. My job's just a little more demanding is all-"

"Oh fuck off Nick,"I yelled before I slammed the phone down. How dare he??? That was the first thing that crossed my mind. This was the second:

Oh my god. I just probably ruined everything. I broke down in sobs and curled up on my side, crying.

Meredith ran into my room, taking me in her arms. I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I ruined it Mere. I yelled and ruined everything,"I cried.

"I heard the yelling,"she said softly. The great thing about Meredith was that she didn't ask why yet. She knew I wasn't ready to talk. She just let me cry, and I knew she's always be my best friend no matter what happened.

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Hanging By A Moment

Chapter Eleven