The first innocent email from the sidekick:
Go order the pizza....what about green olives and ham, sam I am?

The Empress's response:
Sam I am, but like no ham...

Sidekick:
Is this correct, my dear friend, sam
You do not like green olives and ham?!

Empress:
My name is Sam
Please understand,
But I do not LIKE Green olives OR HAM

Sidekick:
Oh this is sad, you must agree
That green olives and ham are a luxury...
How do you know if they taste like Spam,
Have you ever tried green olives and ham?

Empress:
But oh so true, you must see
That I cannot like said luxury
The risk of pizza tasting like Spam...
Is not worth trying green olives and ham...

Sidekick:
Another problem has occurred now you see
It is so absolutely cold that I now have to pee
But run upstairs and go I will not
I want what I want on that pizza I bought

Empress:
I understand that you have to pee
And thankful I am you have no tree
But say if you want the pizza you won't
And you will not get any if you don't

Sidekick:
I see you are not one for bargaining
But I cannot understand your reasoning
All of the sudden I am filled with a reason
But I cannot use the bathroom after the fortyfive minute session with the Korean
I have a little dignity left if that's all I've got
But the green olives and ham are still what I want!!!

Empress:
I am one for bargaining table
You are the one who is unable
I look at you and I surmise
We are in need of compromise
As I am the one with the money
I suggest the pepperoni

Sidekick:
This sadness written is no fair loss,
It's me who you owe money, so I am the boss!
And when I say ham and olives green
I say it with a vengeance and I can be mean...
But alas, this is not just one lost luxury,
I also cannot sign on to quick buddy...
And the thought of not talking to Brad tonight makes me see
That I am not really that hungry...
Pizza sounds like an excellent treat,
But I think I ate one too many a sweet!

Empress:
The unfairness of which you speak
Makes me think you up a creek
When I say that ham is sick
I only mean mean the most horrid, "ICK!"
Alas, I too, cannot talk online
Too that boy who thinks me fine.
The confusion I see in your eyes
Says that I would like the chives
I hope that you saved this classic talk
Or to Jewel you will WALK

Sidekick:
My dear have you been saving all these?
I suggest something a little more than pepperoni and cheese
I cannot understand how to break your will
But I want green olives and ham STILL!!!

Empress:
Naturally, I have saved all these?
Something this classic-my lady-PLEASE!
You know not how to break my will
For I am the one paying the bill.
We must, again, come to the table
I, for one, am aptly able
Olives for me hold much thrill...
Tis the color I wish to kill...

Sidekick:
I saved nothing, I never do you see
But I think I may indulge you on that luxury
There is no way that I would walk
It is you who started this pizza talk...
Empress:
Your habits leave something to be desired
And I think you may be fired...
My luxuries wait to be indulged you
For you are talking about pizza too

Sidekick:
Be it black or green why must you distinguish
Is it the color or the food you relinquish
I cannot understand these silly titles,
But alas it is saved...another to add to the
idles...

Empress:
I think the pizza has become of secondary import
For the utmost fun with which we exhort
I do enjoy the color of black
Unlike the green which makes me hack

Sidekick:
Indeed to what I may abhore
I now not what you may have swore
But deep inside I know the compromise
Because I have saved the command prompts as my alibis

Empress:
You saved the messages I could not
And for this you will not rot
I guess we can get dominoes
The usual, do you suppose?

Said command prompts by the sidekick:
Did you save or did you not?
I think if the latter, the commentary will rot

My dear, your compromise holds to me no thrill
Maybe it is your lack of compromise skill
I say one thing and it is green olives and ham
Maybe you better consider who I am

Madame, there is one thing you are not,
And that is the decider of what I bought
You see, I love green olives and ham
So won't you please try them Amanda I am?

Sidekick:
I think the war is through
I have now decided it would get here past two
And for the thing that I loved most
I have to get up for a Spanish post

Empress:
Indeed, I was thinking that we must hurry
For it is know approaching 1:30
Travesty, that Spanish-ISH
To give up on a most favored dish

Sidekick:
One thing I must add, since you must have this food
There is nothing I can plead to change your mood?
I really want green olives and ham
So please, give them a chance Amanda I am.
I would eat them in a box
I would share them with a fox
You don't see how much I love these toppings
They are no such things as animal droppings!!!

Empress:
I understand that you love this food
And it hurts me to be in such a mood
For I do not like green olives and ham
I cannot like them for Amanda I am
I could not eat them on the docks
I would rather throw them than rocks
And surely there are similar toppings
That are less like animal droppings?

Sidekick:
I doubt you see the main problem here
I still want what I want, dear
"Are we gonna get pizza or what yo?" you say
If you can't agree with my choice, no way!
As command prompted by the Sidekick:
You just cannot see...
I want what I want and I have to pee.

Empress:
I see that you want a great deal of junk
But you are acting like a punk
For ham is really quite disgusting
And leaves me very far from lusting

Sidekick command prompt:
This is a great tragedy, indeed,
This one thing with you I plead...

Empress:
That tragedy is your own choice
If you would but LISTEN to my voice.
I will get you pizza, miss
If the HAM you can dismiss...

Sidekick's prompting:
I see, this is how it has to be
Well, I am glad you cannot find command.exe
Also, I comment on the ordering deal
Better call soon or forget the whole schpiel

Sidekick:
HUNGRY I AM, HURRY YOU BE
PLEASE COMPROMISE SOON, CUZ I REALLY HAVE TO PEE!!!

Empress:
I would call here and now
But you want to eat a sow
I cannot see this thing as good
But change your mind and call I would...

Sidekick:
THIS IS LONG AND I AM ACHIN
HOW ABOUT FOR HAM, WE SWITCH TO BACON?

Empress:
Here is it the final suggestion
And then I leave you to your digestion...
Ham is much like pepperoni
And BLACK olives nicely suit my tummy
Bacon too is very good
And I would eat it, yes I would

Sidekick:
Talk to Cooney I would go for
Cuz she can take us to the grocery store

Empress:
I'm afraid you are right it does appear
And the only think left is Jewel, I fear
There it is the strike of two
And just when I agreed with you

Sidekick:
Well, let us hurry and go ask
For I fear her time for awake may pass
Go up those stair to 308
And you will find her with her telephone date
Ask her kindly if you can borrow her car
And tell her you will not go too far
She will laugh and you say please
Then she will hand opver the keys
I would go but I have other business you see
For finally, I am able to go pee

Empress:
Talk to Cooney then, my friend,
For there is not a car down at this end
Is she sleeping at this time?
Crap...there's nothing left to rhyme.

Sidekick:
One last time I must reply
And this is the last, I do not know why
For these are fun to do, but still
The rhymes are becoming redundant at will
"Enough with the rhymes and this time I meant it,
Does anybody want a peanut?"

Empress:
Well then, I fear we will say good night
To this lovely poetic fight
I shall now go for the key
To end this horrid misery
I think I will print this out my dear
Or she will not give us the car, I fear
But were she to see this rhyme from you
I am more than certain it would do
For likely it is that she would cry
With laughter, yo...so I shall try.