I was the wedding photographer for my friend Julie this weekend...talk about crazy. I have yet to truly understand why someone would wish to throw their life away, but these nauseating kids just stared into each others eyes throughout the whole ceremony.
I felt bad for Jules, though, she is just too nice to get what she wants in her own wedding. Not only did the church lighting suck, but she had to deal with this Hitler-like wedding coordinator from hell. She was old, she was fat, and she made it clear she was in charge. To those who had known her for a long time she was called 'The General.' No one would be married in a way she didn't approve. She did not approve of a centered centerpiece. She did not approve of letting the bride ice her bruised eye. She did not approve of flash photography, but thought DIMMING the lights was a grand notion. Anything that made sense was not allowed.
As the photographer I had the pleasure of speaking with her on several occasions. It was immediately clear that she thought I was some sort of punk kid. So I threw out a lot of jargon I knew she wouldn't understand. How did I know? Well, when I was holding a camera and she asked me if I was the photographer or videographer...it was just an impression I had. I informed her that I was, indeed, the photographer, and so she thought it best to inform me of 'the rules.' There was no flash photography during the ceremony and the photographer had to stand in the back of the sanctuary. Except, of course, when the PEOPLE were in the back, at which time I could be in front. Oh, lovely.
I pointed out that I could get a lot better pictures from the front. She stared at me as though I was some sort of idiot. I found that ironic, to say the least. At that moment she made the mistake that led to this commentary...she spoke.
"Yes, but that isn't the point, though." My eyebrows must have disappeared into my hairline at that. Good pictures weren't the point??? Apparently she began worrying maybe I thought she was an idiot (first clue?) because she started explaining herself. "Well, I have never seen a photographer take pictures in the front." Sadly, this explanation did not raise my opinion of her intelligence. It merely made me shake my head at the thought of the generations of horrible pictures that had been taken since 'the General' gained control of the church.
A telephoto at a wedding...oy...
But of course...that isn't THE POINT.