Liz sunk down into the sofa that sat in the lobby at GH, emotionally drained from her first session with Gail. She sighed and leaned her head against the cushion as she thought of how many more questions she had now.

'More questions than answers,' she thought to herself. The question of what life without Lucky had meant for her and what it meant now that he was back, loomed ominously in her mind.

Why had she come so close to losing everything, including her life on the night that Lucky had reappeared? And, why, now that he was back, wasn't everything perfect? Hadn't he been the only thing in her life that was missing? Couldn't their love fix everything?

Certainly after the other night in the snow, after they had redeclared their love so beautifully and meaningfully, they were stronger. More able to face whatever trials there were to come, but Elizabeth knew, now more than ever that she needed to work on being the person Lucky had fallen in love with in the first place. Someone strong. Someone unafraid to face the dark places in her life.

Elizabeth looked up suddenly, shaken out of her reverie by someone clearing their throat in front of her. "Oh," she said smiling weakly. "Hi Nikolas...what are you doing here?"

Nikolas chuckled lightly at her obvious surprise. Or was it disappointment he saw in her eyes? Disappointment that he was not Lucky? He quickly brushed the latter thought aside. "Oh...I'm just doing some work for my mother...you know with the Outreach Program," Nikolas lied.

"What are you doing here?" He continued. "You're not sick are you?"

Liz's eyebrows furrowed for a moment in confusion. Since when had Nikolas been involved with the Outreach Program? "Um...no," she said quickly, glancing towards the elevator. "I just...well, I just had my first session with Gail."

She was hesitant to tell him anything, for more than one reason. The first being that Lucky would walk through the elevator doors at any moment. She didn't want or need a repeat of their last encounter with each other. And secondly, it seemed she was no longer comfortable with giving Nikolas any information about herself. He'd already proved that he would use information against her. Even if telling Lucky about New Year's Eve had worked out for the best. It had been HER decision to make. Not his.

Nikolas smiled and sat down quickly, next to her on the couch. "Oh, hey Liz that's great...how did it go?"

Liz grinned nonchalantly. "Fine, I guess...." she answered, her voice trailing off as she once again looked towards the elevator.

Nikolas followed her gaze and then brought his eyes back to her. "Liz, " he began slowly. "We're still friends right?...I mean....what happened the other day at your house...you know I was just concerned about you right?...I didn't mean to offend you in any way."

Liz licked her lips, wondering how she was supposed to respond to that. She did want to be friends with Nikolas. He'd done everything for her. He'd gotten her through the roughest time in her life, but the things he had said about Lucky in her room a few days ago had left her feeling cold and awkward towards him. She was afraid there was too much between them now to truly remain friends.

Elizabeth turned towards him, resting her hand on the top ledge of the couch. "Nikolas did you miss Lucky?"

A question that would have once yielded the simplest of answers, now caught him off guard. Threw him for a loop. "Of course Liz," he said nearly stuttering. He sounded stunned that she would ask such a question. "Of course...Elizabeth you KNOW I missed him!"

"Yeah Nikolas," Liz said, her voice rising slightly with him. "I know you missed him in the beginning...but somewhere...Nikolas, somewhere along the line that changed - "

He rested his hand lightly upon hers."That's because somewhere along the line I fell in love with you."

Elizabeth bolted up from the couch, shaking her head vehemently. She couldn't deal with this right now. She was only two steps away before Nikolas caught her by the arm. "Elizabeth we NEED to talk about this - "

"No, Nikolas!" Liz said, trying yet failing to pull her arm from his firm grasp. "I can't do this right now....the person you need to love is your brother! Not me!"

Nikolas sighed loudly. "You're right.....and I DO love my brother Elizabeth....I shouldn't have said what I said about him the other day. I shouldn't have said he was dangerous, but - "

"I wouldn't take that back just yet Nikolas,"

Nikolas froze as he looked at his brother, appearing out of nowhere.

The look on Lucky's face caused Elizabeth's breath to catch in her throat. 'God, this is so not what he needs right now....take a deep breath Lucky,' she thought, looking at him bite down on his lip.

Lucky moved closer, his eyes glancing down slightly at Nikolas' hand, still clasped around Liz's arm. His eyes slowly moved back to his brother's eyes. "You wanna let go of her now?" He said, his eyebrows raising slightly.

Nikolas loosened his grasp and stepped back. He hadn't even realized he was still holding her. He watched as she stepped backwards as well, bringing her forearm up towards her chest. She rubbed at the spot where his hand had been. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Lucky. He reacted instantantly.

Catching Nikolas off guard, he pushed him. So hard, it nearly knocked him off balance. "What? You think you can just put your hands on anybody you want to Nikky boy!" Nikolas stumbled, righting himself just in time to duck a punch from Lucky.

"Lucky! Lucky, no!," Liz shouted, quickly grabbing Lucky from behind, trying to hold his arm back. He quickly shook her off, aiming at Nikolas once again. "Lucky, he didn't hurt me..." she said pleadingly as Lucky's fist connected with the side of Nikolas' jaw.

She suddenly felt herself being pushed away, as Luke rushed past her embracing Lucky from behind. "Calm down son," he whispered in his ear. "Calm down."

Elizabeth hadn't seen him, but somehow Stephan Cassidine had made his way behind Nikolas, holding him away from Lucky in the same manner. She watched as Nikolas rubbed at his lip. Bright red blood coating his fingertip. He pointed it towards Lucky. "You wanna fight Lucky...come on.."

"Stop it" Stephan hissed, tightening his arms around his son.

Luke's arms tightened as well, as Lucky lunged for Nikolas once again. "Lucky!....Later....not now...you don't need this now."

Lucky turned around, shaking his father's arms. "Don't tell me what I need," he said bitingly. The words cut Luke like a knife. He had just seen the same hateful look aimed at the Devil's spawn. Now those cold eyes were aimed at him.

"Ok," Luke whispered, holding up his hands. "Ok."

Stephan smirked at the exchange. At the obvious friction between father and son. Nothing could have pleased him more. Well, there was one thing. He quickly turned towards Nikolas. "Son, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Nikolas said, his gaze landing on a stricken Liz. She looked horrified. "Do you see what I mean Liz, huh?.....Is this what you needed to see to be convinced?!"

Elizabeth shook her head, watching as Lucky punched hard on the call button for the elevator. What had just happened here? Everything had happened so fast it was a blur. She was horrified, but she knew it wasn't by Lucky.

"Damn you Nikolas," she said, her voice nearly inaudible. She grabbed her purse and headed towards Lucky as he boarded the elevator. She called after him. He didn't answer.

Luke spoke up from his place by the Nurses' Station, his voice cold as steel as he looked at Stephan. He then pointed at Nikolas. "Good thing you're in the hospital already junior....that looks pretty nasty."

Nikolas looked down, shaking his head as he began to walk away. "Like father like son," he smirked.

Luke glared at him. His eyes icy. "Unless you wanna see how alike we really are, I suggest you go get your lip looked at little boy."

Nikolas chuckled bitterly as he walked away. Luke's veiled threat did not go unheard by Stephan. "Threaten my son again Spencer....and your son's obvious contempt for you will be the least of your problems."

Luke walked towards him slowly. Venom rising in his throat, as he tryed to ignore Stephan's words. "You know, Stepphy....I think little Nikky was wrong when he said my son and I were alike....it's him that's really a chip of the old vampire fang.....it must make you proud that, just like you, he's decided to set his sights on something unattainable...."

"Oh and what would that be Spencer?"

Luke chuckled. "A woman....who's already had a Spencer."

Stephan stared for a moment, before a wicked grin spread over his face. "Oh, yes....so very unattainable."

Luke bit down hard against his tongue as Stephan walked away. It hadn't been very unattainable for Stephan had it?

Chapter 38

"Lucky!" She called again as he made his way up the steps and into the front patio at Kelly's. She sighed when he finally stopped, she watched from a few feet away as he sank down into a chair.

How many times had she seen that pose before? Him leaning away from the table. His hands clasped in his lap. His legs spread wide. Her mind suddenly flashed back to a time when their only awkwardness had come from the question of what to say after you'd listened to a song that someone had wrote in your honor. The difference was, that then she knew he at least wanted to talk to her, wanted to hear her voice. Right now, she wasn't so sure.

She'd followed him all the way from the hospital. Completely out of breath from her running. From the current round of the Spencer - Cassidine feud. She shuttered now as she thought about it. The look on Lucky's face when he'd walked off the elevator, seeing Nikolas and her together. God, what would it take to make Nikolas realize what he was doing. His "love" for her wasn't anything more than an infatuation. An infatuation that had come as a result of two people of the opposite sex spending time together. 'Too much time,' she thought. 'Maybe the way I leaned on him wasn't fair....maybe I led him on....but...did I??....Ugh..maybe I just needed him too much...but at the time I thought he needed me too....God, why did things have to turn out this way?....Lucky needs his brother.'

Elizabeth quickly tried shaking those thoughts off as she walked towards the table. She sat down quietly, watching him as he watched his hands in complete fascination. Clenching and unclenching his fist over and over again.

Bending over slightly, she caught sight of the redness of his knuckles. Her face grimaced at what she knew had to hurt. Probably not as much as his heart did right now. But it was painful nonetheless. "I should get you some ice for that," she said quietly, standing up.

He reached for her hand, as she crossed in front of him, stilling her movements. "I don't want any ice," he said nearly whispering, as he weaved his fingers in and out of hers. There hands swinging slightly. She smiled weakly at him and sunk down into his lap.

Elizabeth covered one hand with hers in his lap, and moved her other to brush tenderly against his jaw. She felt the slight stubble on his cheek and realized quickly that today's incident hadn't been the beginning of his bad day. Something else had happened. Something that had obviously kept him from a razor that morning.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, leaning into him as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Her fingers busied themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He looked up at her and her heart broke just a little at the look in his sullen, sleep deprived eyes. The beaten tone in his voice. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just......ugh.....I had to get some air. I had to get out of there."

Liz shook her head as he looked down again. She crooked a finger under his chin and tilted his face up to look at hers. "Hey...you have NOTHING to be sorry about...if anyone should be sorry...it's me. I should have told Nikolas to leave the moment I saw him...I just...I don't know...I thought we could be friends you know?...I thought...."

Her voice trailed off into oblivion, as she wondered what exactly she had thought. She had absolutely no idea what to think anymore. Least of all Nikolas. There had never been a bigger mystery than Nikolas Cassidine.

She watched as Lucky shook his head, unnerved by the shear mention of his name. He obviously had no desire to hear her speak of him as a friend at this point. She couldn't blame him. "Lucky," she began again. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for...he was asking for it....you just...you just can't go around beating people up....even if they do happen to be in a hospital already," she laughed, trying to bring some levity to the situation. He was not amused.

Lucky turned to glare at her. "What?...Now, you're defending him?"

"No," she said, taken aback by his sudden outburst. She hadn't meant to do anything of the sort.

"Let me guess...you believe all that crap he told you about me being dangerous?!" He said, his voice rising.

She looked around. There was no one in sight. A slow afternoon at Kelly's. "No," she said. Her whisper, nearly a hiss. "Lucky I don't believe that at all!........Lucky why are you angry with me?" She asked.

Elizabeth had no idea where this was coming from. Just last night they had been so completely happy. So untouchable. Or at least that's what she had thought. Why was this suddenly so huge for him? She saw him bite his lip as he looked down. His chin trembled.

When he finally looked up, he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. To steady a voice that try as he might would not come out smooth. He shut his eyes tightly to force back his tears. No luck. The facade was beginning to crumble. "I'm sorry," he said looking into her eyes. "I'm not mad...I'm not mad at you...and I'm so sorry."

Elizabeth bit her own trembling lip and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his forehead as he closed his eyes. Her hands sought the sides of his face, messaging his cheeks in a gentle caress. Her lips moved to the top of his head as he silently rested his forehead against her chest. She sighed as she rubbed the back of his head. 'God what do I do for him?' She asked silently. He seemed so lost.

It was small gesture, but she thought of one thing. She ran her fingers through his hair as she talked. She could feel the heat of his breath through her shirt. "Baby...do you want me to go home with you?...I know you're having trouble...sleeping...do you think it would help for me to be there with you? I can just - "

"I don't wanna go back there," he mumbled, his lips brushing softly against the fabric of her sweater. The muffled sound made her unsure of what he'd said. She knew she felt tears through the fabric. Her hands stilled on the back of his head, holding him there.

"Why?" She asked, her own voice muffled, as she buried her lips in his soft hair.

"It's too much," he whispered. "It's just...my mom and....the memories...and everything she expects...God I don't know how to explain it..."

"You feel like you're being bombarded...overwhelmed." She said. More of a statement to herself than a question for him.

He looked up instantly into her eyes, as she pulled away as well, looking into his pools of blue. "Yes," he answered simply. His hands moved up to cover hers on his face. "How did you know that?"

How had she known that? She'd felt that way for so long, it was hard not to recognize the feeling in him. She'd lived it for months now. Elizabeth smiled weakly. "I'm familiar with the feeling."

Lucky smiled back. The same grin tugging lightly at his own mouth. He reached up, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. "You are aren't you?...You understand everything..."

His voice trailed off, and she watched his eyes move over her face. He seemed to be searching for something. Or learning something he'd forgotten? "What?" She asked softly.

"Let's get a place Elizabeth....just you and me - " He stopped midsentence noticing her confusion. "I know - I know...neither of us are exactly employed right now....but that can be remedied.....and we can get a place....somewhere....just us."

Elizabeth licked her lips nervously. It sounded great. It sounded wonderful. It sounded scary. "I - I can't Lucky."

Lucky nearly chuckled at her statement. He had no idea what she meant. "What?" He asked, almost laughing. "What do you mean you can't?"

She looked down towards her hands shaking her head. "Lucky...I just don't think it would be a good thing for us right now....for me....for you."

"Oh....I see," he began quietly. "Now, you're gonna tell me what I need too, right?"

Elizabeth stood slowly, running a hand through her hair frustratedly. "No Lucky...I'm not trying to do that...I'm telling you what I need - "

"And that obviously isn't me."

She shook her head, kneeling before him as he turned his head away from her. She reached up, turning his face towards her. "Lucky..you KNOW that's not true. I need you more than anything....Lucky I need you more than I need oxygen.....but Lucky....the thing is I HAVE to learn how to breathe on my own, you know?....that's part of what I talked about with Gail today....Lucky I almost died when you were taken from me........Lucky we both know I WANTED to die."

He looked at her then, her words striking him. His eyes softened considerably, as she leaned her head against his knee. "I'm sorry......I know you need....." He shook his head, not finding the right words. "I just - I don't know what's wrong with me right now."

Lucky watched her eyes as they glazed over and her lip began to tremble. "Don't cry," he whispered, reaching down to brush his hand softly against her cheek. "It's ok....I understand....don't worry about it."

'You maybe a good bluffer, but not with me Lucky Spencer,' she thought. Watching his eyes, listening to the hallow sound of his voice. He most certainly was not 'ok' with this. She stood to her feet as he got up. She watched as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Um...I'm gonna go now, ok?" He asked slowly, staring at his feet. He laughed suddenly looking up. It sounded weird. It sounded painful. "You know...speaking of jobs...I should go look for one, right?"

Elizabeth smiled slightly. A polite one. She knew he was trying his best to brush off what she had just done. How she had hurt him. "Yeah," she sighed. "I guess so.....do you have any ideas?"

"Yeah," he said, biting his lip. "You know me....I've always got a plan."

She smiled again and closed the space between them, slowly pressing her lips against his. It never moved, never turned. It began and ended with a firmness and assuredness all it's own. She pulled away after a moment and gently pushed a lock of hair away from his forehead. She left her hand on his cheek as it descended from his head. "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded slowly and turned his head, quickly kissing her palm. "I know...and I love you too."

Lucky took a step backwards and she watched him walk away. Headed towards where? "Lucky!" She called, once he'd gotten a few feet away. "Will I see you tonight?"

"'Course," he said simply with a nod of his head. He was gone a moment later.