Lucky watched as LuLu ascended the stairs, back to coloring or whatever little girl task caught her fancy. He smiled at the realization that Foster hadn't left her side since he'd first seen them. Even now the old dog followed close behind, right on her tiny heels. 'That's right boy, watch her. Watch her every minute.' He thought.

Laura looked into her sons eyes from her place on the couch, shuttering at the haunted look that filled their blue depths. "Lucky...what is it honey?"

Lucky sighed and leaned his head against the back of the couch, not knowing where or how to begin. Did she want to know about the current drama or the slightly less current one? Nikolas, Elizabeth, or being held prisoner for the better part of a year? Which one exactly? There were so many words to say, no coherent order in which to say them in.

"Anything you want to talk about Lucky. Anything," She stated.

He looked up, realizing she'd read his thoughts. God, he couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to do that. It had been so long. Long before he'd been taken. It was nice. Nice not to have to hide anything. Nice not to have to fight or even protect anyone. Nice to have his mother back?

"I don't know Mom...it's all so complicated, you know?" He said, staring at the ceiling once again.

"I know," Laura said as she brushed a strand of hair out of her son's troubled eyes. Her heart felt so incredibly heavy for him.

He sat up then, looking straight at her. Almost through her. "I need to ask you something Mom...and I need you to be completely honest with me...Completely."

Laura, simply nodded, knowing it was a test. Even if he didn't intend it to be, it was. A subconscious test, but a test nonetheless.

"Is there anything...anything," Lucky stumbled, not wanting to say the words. "Romantic...going on between Elizabeth and Nikolas."

She breathed deeply, mulling over his words. How did she answer this question, exactly? She was almost certain that Elizabeth had no romantic feelings for Nikolas, but vice versa? That was another question entirely. And Nikolas was her son as well. Would this be betraying him in some way?

"Lucky..."

"Mom...just answer the question. Yes or no?"

"I don't think so," she sighed, desperately trying not to hurt her son.

"You don't THINK so?!"

"Lucky, things are...as you said...complicated...I am quite certain that you know Elizabeth has feelings for NO ONE other than you! Lucky she loves you with all of her heart! I can assure you that."

"Then what's so complicated?" He asked, licking his lips nervously. 'As if you don't already know, Spencer,' he thought.

Laura took a deep breath. "I think your brother...I think he has much stronger feelings for her...I think they go beyond...friendship."

"Yeah," Lucky smirked, sarcastically. "I'm aware of my brother's little crush on my girlfriend...nice welcome home gift that was."

Laura shook her head as her mouth dropped open, "He told you?"

"Oh, No!....'Course not Mom. Good ol' Nikky wouldn't be that blunt."

Laura leaned back, shaken by his tone. She saw an entire year flash before her eyes. An entire year of progress made between brothers, suddenly rewound and erased in the blink of an eye.

This couldn't be happening. She looked down at her hands and quickly looked up again, taking a moment to measure her thoughts and curb the emotions raging within her. She thought briefly of where Luke could be. Had he killed the bastard yet? Did she still have the chance to wrap her bare hands around his neck?...No matter. There was still Helena to contend with.

"So, you obviously figured it out then?...That's exactly how I realized what was going on...He never came right out and told me...I just...guessed. I guess...I mean, I could be wrong Lucky," Laura rambled.

Lucky just stared at her. Of course she wasn't wrong. Nikolas had it bad for Elizabeth. That was abundantly clear.

"How?" He asked flatly, seemingly out of nowhere.

"What do you - "

"How did you guess? Was it the way he was with her? What? I wanna know Mom."

Laura shook her head. "I - I...I guess the first time I really noticed wasn't until Christmas...He looked...it was the way he looked at her," She said, wincing as she saw her words pierce his heart. She quickly tried repairing it. "But Lucky...Lucky! Like I said before, those feelings AREN'T returned. She doesn't love him back. She doesn't...I know that for sure."

Lucky swallowed hard and closed his eyes, giving little thought to how it was that she knew "for sure." He knew that right? After last night, didn't he know that? Hadn't the way she touched him, the way they held each other all night told him that? Their bodies hadn't only made love, their souls had. 'I need to hear it from her,' he thought.'I just need to hear it from her.'

He stood up then, knowing what he had to do. Where he had to go. Laura stood with him and followed as he neared the door. 'Please let everything turn out right for them...Please,' she prayed silently to herself. They both stopped in their tracks as the door swung open, Luke standing before them.

~~~~~~~~~

Elizabeth breathed deeply as she hoisted herself up into the cold boxcar, the faint musty aroma filling her nose. It seemed years since she'd been there, when in all actuality it had only been a couple of months. She had come here all the time when it first happened. 'It?' She thought. 'How funny that I don't even know what to call it anymore...it wasn't a death...and ''kidnapping" just seems like such a minimal phrase...ugh...' She sat down on the crate that had been there forever, glancing at the walls lined with paintings from a happier, carefree time. When even memories of her rape hadn't been as haunting. She was struck suddenly by the thought of why she had stopped coming here. Stopped coming to her safe place...It had been too much. One day the glorious memories had begun to smother her. She no longer had to come to the boxcar to feel him, or to hear his voice. The memories had become her entire life, and her own mind conjured every aspect of him. She no longer needed childhood paintings to bring him back. He was everywhere.

 ~~~~~~~~~

"Stop thanking me mother," Stephan said bluntly as he sat behind his desk in the quiet study, carefully eyeing his mother. She looked worn out from her days of incarceration. If he weren't so desperate he would have left her there to rot in that old cabin. He still couldn't believe that Spencer had been dumb enough to take her there. The same old cabin that he and his son had spent a week at during the Fall before last. "Don't delude yourself into thinking that I freed you from Luke Spencer's' clutches out of any sense of loyalty. I did it, for the sole purpose of ridding ourselves of Luke Spencer once and for all."

Chapter 28

"He's dead," Luke repeated again, waiting for some sign of acknowledgment from his son. Some sign that his words had been heard. It wasn't as if he expected jubilation, or a high five, but something...anything to show his words had penetrated and sunk in. No such indication came.

A shadow passed over Lucky's eyes, glazing their depths as he stood. His lips slightly parted, as his only bodily function: breathing, sped up. He hadn't the presence of mind to do anything else but breathe. 'Dead?' His inner voice questioned. 'Dead?...Faison's dead?'

Lucky looked down, disbelieving his father's words. Was it even possible to kill Cesar Faison? Possible to kill the Devil himself? Somewhere deep down he'd often questioned that.

He felt his mother's hand on his shoulder as he looked up, into the eyes of his father, his former hero. He looked tired, older somehow since he'd last seen him. Perhaps that's what taking a life did. You suddenly took on that person's years. 'I wonder,' Lucky thought. 'I guess you'll never know will you Lucky...who's to say you could have done it anyway? You really think you could have killed Faison?...Yeah right. You would have choked and you know it! Well, the great Luke Spencer has come to your rescue...thank him...thank him Lucky...that's what he's waiting for...'

"I have to go," Lucky said suddenly, his voice meeting the air shakily. Frightened by his own hostile thoughts. He quickly bolted around his father and out of the door.

 ~~~~~~~~

Liz wondered where he was now and if he was alright. She fished around anxiously in her pockets, searching for the Nicotine she'd come to crave once again. 'So much for the Lucky patch,' she thought, her own thoughts bringing tears to her eyes. She quickly brushed them away as the cold air stung her cheeks. She had no right to cry. 'You did this Liz,' her mind screamed. 'You're the reason he's not coming back...he doesn't want to be suffocated by all your problems once again...you almost slept with someone else and you expect him to stick around?...He's got his own stuff to deal with right now, he doesn't need yours too.'

She searched for a lighter now as her fingers shakily clenched and on old cigarette from her jacket pocket. She found it quickly, flicking and flicking again to ignite the small flame. "Shit," she breathed, as the fire flickered briefly and extinguished once again in the cold January air.

"You better be careful....those'll stunt your growth," he said, his voice floating through the open car door. Seemingly out of nowhere.

Liz looked up, startled by his presence. His comment quickly turned her lips upwards into a smile. She stuffed the unlit cigarette into her pocket. Her eyes watched him intently as he hoisted himself up into the boxcar. He seemed instantly mesmerized by the sights before him. Instantly transported to another time. She wondered what it felt like to be him at that moment. She wondered if either one of them were in a better place. She watched closely as his eyes scanned every crevice of the old train. Every aspect of their first place together. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes stilled, staring directly into hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

"For what?" Elizabeth asked quickly, standing to meet his eyes. Her voice filled with concern at the sight of his impending tears.

"For leaving you," Lucky stated, his voice cracking. "I should have never ever left this morning...ever...I didn't want you to wake up without me there..I'm.." his voice trailed off, not wanting to minimize what he'd done by making excuses.

Elizabeth sighed as her bottom lip began to quiver. She was taken aback that he would apologize for something that had obviously been her fault. "It's ok Lucky...I mean...I know why you left...I know what Nikolas told you...about that guy and me...at that party...I mean I don't blame you for leaving...I mean, what you must have thought of me...You must have thought I was...I was such a..."

Her words were cut short then, as his lips came crashing down upon hers, the mere force of it causing her to stumble slightly backwards. His hands around her hips her only saving grace, as her knees went weak, giving into it. His hands drifted slowly up her body and found their way into her hair. She was instantly transported to the night before, remembering how it felt to have his hands all over her. Remembering the same electricity she felt now as his hands grasped the sides of her face, in what seemed an effort to make their mouths one. She moaned slightly as she felt him leave her.

They were both left breathless as he pulled away finally. He wiped at the tears that now fell silently down her cheeks. "Did you think I left because I was mad at you?!...Elizabeth, never...no...sweetie, I'm not mad at you...why would I be mad?...Elizabeth I love you so much...God, I'm so sorry if I made you feel any different...I just...I just needed some air...I just needed some air."

Elizabeth's mouth hung open as a fresh slew of tears began their descent down her cheeks. How could he not be mad? Didn't he feel betrayed? Isn't that what she'd done?

"Lucky...wh-...what I did..."

"It doesn't matter," Lucky said flatly, taking both of her hands in his and leading her over to sit back down upon the crate. He sat opposite of her, their hands still joined as he spoke. "No...I don't mean that...of course it matters...but Elizabeth...I wasn't here...Elizabeth you thought I was dead!...Anything you did or didn't do...I mean...it's not for me to judge. Elizabeth, baby just tell me ok...I'm not gonna break....I promise you there is nothing you can tell me that would make me stop loving you...I promise you that."

She smiled through her tears as his hand tenderly caressed the side of her face. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. Here he was declaring that he'd love her forever, but was that really possible? Once upon a time she'd thought it was, but would he feel that way no matter what she said? She squeezed her eyes shut as she began to speak. "I've been wanting to tell you so much...I..."

He tightened his grip on her hand, urging her to unburden herself. Her eyes looked so damn tired. So restless. He'd only seen them peaceful once said he'd been home. "Why don't you start by telling me what happened that night. The night I came back."

Elizabeth breathed deeply again, trying to recall the events of that fateful night. "I didn't plan on going to that party," she began, sniffling back her tears. "But something happened. Something happened on Christmas that scared me...scared me really bad Lucky," She paused as Lucky's eyes searched hers. "Nikolas asked me to spend Christmas with him at Wyndemere...your mother was there...and LuLu...Lucky, everything we had ever done together had been playing in my mind like a tape recorder for days...I kept thinking about the first time you told me you loved me...I couldn't get it out of my head...and....and...I guess it just all got to be too much because...Lucky...I talked to you."

Lucky's head leaned slightly to the side, not understanding what she was saying. He listened as she continued. "I don't remember exactly what happened...but....Lucky...I think I called Nikolas by your name...I think...God, I must have scared your poor sister half to death...I mean, I think I even asked your mother if you were living at home with her...I didn't realize what had happened until it was too late...I just looked up and they were all staring at me like I was crazy...I knew then what had happened...and I had to get out of there...I knew what had happened because had happened before...just never in front of anybody."

Lucky swallowed hard against the painful lump in his throat. 'Do not cry,' he told himself. 'She needs you to be strong right now...do NOT cry.' His thumb brushed softly against her knuckles, as he searched for something to say. He had nothing.

"So I vowed to myself that night...that I would start over..." she said, pausing again. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, and his expression told her that he was already in pain.

"Go on," he said, reading her thoughts.

"Lucky I was so scared, that I was losing it...and the only thing I knew to do was to change myself...change myself back into the girl that I'd been before I met you. Before there'd ever been an 'us.' I just couldn't be me anymore without thinking of you....without thinking of the person your love had allowed me to become....So I reverted back to the girl I'd been when I first came to Port Charles..Completely this time...I wanted to be someone who would have gone to wild parties...someone who would get in way over her head...so I decided to go to that New Year's Eve party...and that's exactly what happened...I got in over my head."

"What happened Elizabeth?" Lucky questioned, lightly bringing her face up to meet his.

"I was drinking....a lot," She began sighing heavily. "And there was this guy there...from school...I barely knew him Lucky...I didn't want to know him. I didn't care. I just wanted to forget...so when he started coming on to me...I started flirting back. Even though every fiber of my being told me not to...that's what I did. That's what I had come there for...so that's what I thought I had to do...Anyway, a little while after I was there...we went upstairs..." Liz voice trailed off as Lucky looked down towards the floor.

"I'm sorry Lucky," she said, her voice cracking.

Lucky lifted his head immediately, meeting her eyes once again. "Don't do that. Don't apologize...Elizabeth just...just tell me."

She nodded as her eyes began to tear up again, unable to control herself. "I knew, the moment we started up the stairs...I KNEW, that I couldn't sleep with him, that I WOULDN'T sleep with him...but....you know...that's what he expected - "

"Elizabeth did he - "

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "But....he would have...if it hadn't been for Nikolas."

Lucky licked his lips, his mind going from extreme gratefulness to pure jealousy in less than a millisecond. Nikolas had been there when she needed him. Nikolas had made it on time.

He silently berated himself for thinking such a thought. Would he rather have had him NOT show up on time? Of course not. 'Get over yourself, Spencer,' Lucky thought.

"He let you drive home?" Lucky asked, suddenly. Not believing that Nikolas could go from saving her to letting her almost kill herself in the same instant.

"No," she answered. "Lucky...I was so horrible to him. I ran outside...and he was trying to help me, but I just kept screaming at him...telling him that he wasn't you...that he could never be you...when all was really trying to do was help."

Lucky ran a hand through his hair, wondering if that was indeed all he was trying to do. He wasn't quite so sure about that. It seemed Nikolas wanted to be him in more ways than one lately, but now did not seem the appropriate time to bring up the whole "Nikolas issue."

"So you left?" Lucky asked as her eyes seemed to go blank. A kind of haze enveloping them, causing them to turn a shade of gray he'd never seen before.

"Yeah," she said, almost inaudibly. Her voiced seemed hallow. "I just got in my car and drove...I didn't care where I went or how I got there...I just wanted to be somewhere where the pain would stop...I remember...I remember our song playing on the radio...I couldn't listen to it...yet I couldn't turn it off...I felt like I was back in that night, dancing with you...dreaming of you...and then hearing those damn sirens...those damn sirens............I just wanted it all to end. All of it...I didn't want to feel anything anymore."

Lucky's breathing stopped as her last words dawned on him. She couldn't be saying what he thought she was saying. Could she? His eyes welled up, inspite of his fight for them not to. "Elizabeth?" He said then, waking her from her trancelike state.

"What?" She asked then, looking up into his intensely serious gaze. He almost seemed to be looking inside of her, into some deep place, examining her. Looking for something. She shivered. "What?" She asked again, much quieter this time.

He brushed his fingertips across her cheek, almost hesitantly letting them linger. "Elizabeth...baby...what...what are you trying to tell me?"

Elizabeth shook her head absently, not understanding his question. "What do you mean Lucky? I just told you what happ - "

"Elizabeth," he interrupted softly. "You're accident.....it was an accident, right?"

Elizabeth smiled at his question. A short, awkward laugh escaping her throat. "Of course Lucky....Of course."