Your heart will always be my home
No matter where I go
No matter what may come

You’ll be my shelter in the storm
A harbor safe and sound
Where only true forgiveness can be found

But still…
I wanna run away
And go it all alone
When will I ever learn from my mistakes

Florence, Italy
Casa di Torbelli
The Garden

Elizabeth trailed her fingers through the water at the fountain’s edge and then let it drip from her fingertips against the stone. The morning sun, drying the spots almost immediately. Funny how certain things just faded away or disappeared while emotions lingered forever. Grief, an ache that never subsided, only dulled somewhat with the years.

Lucky’s ache had kept him up nearly the whole night. Tossing and turning, yet never finding any comfort – not even in her arms. So when he’d finally dozed off, she’d allowed him to sleep. Knowing that she could have lay in bed all day long too, but the sun that filtered through the gauzy curtains had other plans.

Maybe it was wrong to see the beauty in a day as the sun shimmered against the water in the fountain. Maybe it was wrong, after the last couple of sad and dreary days to see any kind of hope. But somehow…as the birds chirped and the sun wove it’s way between the clouds - she couldn’t help it. Something inside of her had yearned to be outside. To feel the air on her face.

The storm had ended and she swore the sky was bluer than she ever remembered it being, all those years ago. Of course she’d rarely ventured outside, and when she’d did she hadn’t been in the state of mind to appreciate the beauty or the wonder.

But now…the same storm had begun in Lucky’s heart. And she would have done anything to take the pain away…but she knew that she couldn’t really perform any act to make it disappear. The pain had to run it’s course.

It was almost ironic though, how simply telling Lucky about Luna had lifted something heavy from her chest. It still hurt like Hell, but it was no longer raw…No longer such an open wound. At least now she could breathe through the hurt, and not suffocate under the strain of it. The strain of not talking about it, the strain of trying to forget, the strain of not sharing the load of grief with her daughter’s father.

‘Her daughter’s father,’ the words echoed in her ear and she closed her eyes. She would never again be able to give Lucky such a gift. She’d failed once, and now she would never even be able to try again.

If there was one thing she’d always believed it was, that there were second chances in life, but there didn’t seem to be one now. And it was that which brought a tear to her eye. That which filled her heart with a sense of loneliness now.

True, motherhood had always been somewhat of a foreign concept. She’d wanted children. Fantasized from time to time about what it would be like to have them with Lucky, but when she thought back to innocent days now – before they were even having sex – she knew that it had been more about her love for him than anything else.

Before Lucky, ‘children’ were always something that other people had. Children had been something that MAYBE she could have one day…and maybe be at least mediocre at being a mother.

But fatherhood, for Lucky – that had been a definite. Something he never even had to think about. It wasn’t a topic he ever really discussed at any length, but she knew he wanted them. The simple way he talked about his own childhood told anyone that. He wanted someone he could teach things too, someone he could joke with, and have adventures with. Someone he could be awed by.

Though when the subject of children HAD come up, he’d always said rule number one would be honesty. That he’d be honest with his kids at any cost. They would know exactly who he was, and what he thought.

Elizabeth bit down on her lip. None of that was going to happen now, and Lucky was too unselfish to even admit to being bothered by it.

‘The doctors had said there was a chance,’ Elizabeth thought, closing her eyes. And just a few weeks prior – what was it Alex had said? He’d mentioned something about changing her medication, when she’d been faking the entire ‘let’s fix our marriage,’ charade. She wondered what he’d meant by that.

‘Probably some experimental shit that messed you up even more than you already were,’ she thought sarcastically. Thinking of how sporadic her periods had been lately. That could have also been stress though. More than likely, it was stress.

Thinking it was Lucky come out to join her, she looked up quickly at the sound of footsteps. Unfortunately the beginnings of a smile morphed quickly into a scowl. She’d been able to avoid Leopold for days now, but there he was – the traitor – in the flesh.

"Tell your gardener he’s doing a beautiful job," She said quickly and curtly before rising from the fountain to start back towards the house.

"Elizabetta wait," Leopold said pleadingly as he reached out for her arm as she passed. "Please…I would like very much to speak with you."

One step at a time she turned towards him. Shaking her head slowly. "Something new I should know Leopold? Maybe you’re secretly a Cassidine too? Oh! Or wait!…Maybe I am? I was switched at birth with the real Webber child?…Hell, that’d make a whole lot more sense to me. Maybe THAT’S the reason I’ve been so miserable all these years in my own family – I really belonged to a bunch of deranged, thieving lunatics? Is that right? Is that what you want to talk about? Because, I’m all ears."

Leopold nodded. He should have expected that response. Slowly but surely she was coming back to herself. The way she’d been when they’d first met. Blunt and to the point – before Alex turned her into the silent partner in his sick idea of a marital union. The silent partner that he had HELPED turn her into.

"Elizabetta –

"Do me a favor and can the nic-name would you? I mean it was charming, and cute in the beginning, but now all it does it make me sick…God, you were –

Elizabeth’s voice broke but she refused to let this man, a man she’d considered her friend, but now knew was her enemy – see her cry. When she got control of her voice, she spoke again.

"You – you were like another grandfather to me, Leopold. You know that? Only in some ways you were better…because I didn’t have to compete for your affection. You were all mine. You weren’t ever busy doting on Sarah, or taking her anyplace. You loved me…or at least I thought you did."

"Eliza –

"BUT," she said. Cutting into his speech before it even truly began. "As usual – I was wrong. You know," she paused. Laughing bitterly. "The only character that I ever judged correctly is the character of the man sleeping in that house right now," she said. Pointing to the small villa behind them. "I gotta think that God had something to do with that, because everyone knows I couldn’t have picked someone so perfect on my own…But you took him away from me. The ONE person in this world, that I could trust – you helped take away."

"Elizabetta – Elizabeth," he corrected quickly, at the disgust that shown in her eyes. "There is absolutely no excuse for what I have done. None…I will not try to make any, but please know that I ALWAYS loved you. There was never a day that –

"How can you say that!" She screamed. Sending a small flock of birds flying from their bath. "How can you STAND there in front of me and take the moral high ground after what you did?! You sat in that room with me…night after night – listening to me ramble on about my lost love and lost baby…I must have seemed like some silly little strung out girl to you…but you SAT there and tried to ‘comfort,’ me when you KNEW! You knew all along that reason I couldn’t be with the man that I loved was because YOU and ALEX and HELENA made it that way! You KNEW and you never said anything! You just let me lie there in misery…you just sat there and placated and nodded your head….

"Oh and what a GREAT actor you are, Leopold….No, I mean seriously, you deserve a fucking Oscar! You would sit there and CRY for God’s sake as you told me about how you lost your own child! It was a girl right? Just like mine? Or maybe it was a boy? Do you remember how the story went?" Elizabeth ranted. Continuing even though she saw the same pain in his eyes that she’d seen years ago. Even though she knew it was the same look she saw when she looked in the mirror now.

"I mean, I’m sure it gets sort of confusing keeping all or your lies straight. I don’t know

how the Hell you do it, but I certainly stand in awe of you."

Leopold inhaled deeply through his nose. Watching as she shook with fury. Every inch of her trembling. It was good she got this out…Finally. The boy was a good influence on her.

Even though it hurt something terrible.

"You have absolutely no reason to believe me…but I never lied about my daughter…I wouldn’t."

Though her heart clenched inside her chest. She would not allow herself to feel pity or any other emotion – besides maybe hatred, for this man.

"Oh you wouldn’t?" She asked. "So let me get this straight…You just lie about men who send away boyfriends in order to marry the girlfriend right? But you draw the line at lying about babies?…Aw, Leopold I’m so glad your morals and values weren’t compromised in this deal. I would hate to think that you sacrificed your self-respect."

"I know longer have any self-respect," Leopold whispered. Shaking his head as he slowly reached out for her. "Sono cosi spiacente. Non ho significato mai danneggiarlo."

Laughing, she nearly jumped out of his reach. If she hadn’t have laughed, she would have cried. "You’re kidding me right? You never meant to hurt me? What the Hell did you THINK you were doing? Helping me!?" She shouted, understanding enough Italian to know when she was being conned.

She’d had enough of being conned. From here on out Elizabeth Webber would be nobody’s fool.

Leopold closed his eyes for a long moment. "I thought he would be a better husband. I…I had no idea Alessandro would treat you – would –

"You had no idea what?" Elizabeth seethed. "You had no idea he’d do this?"

And with that she pulled the collar of her shirt down just a tad, showing him the fading bruises around her collarbone. "Yes, I’m sure you were completely blindsided by his nasty streak.

"Well," she said. Her voice so low now that she seemed to be speaking to herself as she glanced at the ground. "To be fair to you, I didn’t see that coming either. Certainly, Alex and I had our fair share of arguments…but for years – he never hit me. Oh, there were times when I thought he might – times when I even braced for it, but he never did. I guess I became too comfortable with that, huh?…Guess, he finally had to show me who was boss."

The words were meaningless, he knew. But he had to say them anyway. "I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. I wish I would have been there to - "

"To what?" Elizabeth shrugged. "PROTECT ME? Oh please…save it for the next little girl that needs comforting, because I’m done…and don’t pity me!" She added, seeing the sadness in the old man’s eyes. "You think I’m sad?…I’ve lost friends before, but let me tell you something…the one thing I won’t lose is the man lying in that house right now.

"You tried, Helena tried, Alex tried…and it almost – ALMOST worked. But it didn’t… Isn’t that amazing?" She asked, shaking her head as she glanced backwards. "And it’s love like nobody’s ever known…THAT I won’t give up."

Before he could respond, she turned to walk back to the house. Halting suddenly, mid-stride. She didn’t look at him as she spoke. For no matter how much she disputed being sad, the tears were no longer stoppable.

"You know…if you had JUST told me the truth. Yes, you’d already participated in it…but if you would have come clean…I think I could have forgiven you.

"I mean…do you KNOW what I would have given that day? The day that I took all those pills…do you know what I would have given to have woken up and had you tell me that you knew exactly where Lucky was? That you’d find him for me? That you’d bring him back?"

She turned now. In spite of tears. Her tired eyes meeting his old ones. "I would have given you anything…including forgiveness."

When she turned once more, Leopold knew she wouldn’t be stopping in her tracks again. And she would never be visiting this house again – or him.

He also knew he would find a way to make it up to her. No matter what.

Lucky threw some clothes into the small bag he’d packed and glanced quickly around the room for hers. Lifting it to the bed when he found it.

Clothes…where were her clothes?

His eyes connected with the dried outfit on the back of the door almost immediately. Remembering instantly how wet they’d been. Soaked from the rain and grass stained from the field. They fabrics were wrinkled and stiff and it brought back the feeling of the water against his skin. The feeling of her in his arms. The feeling of his heart breaking.

The day seemed distant, yet close enough to the surface to touch. Close enough to stab at his skin. How was that possible?

Shaking the question off, he moved towards the slacks and blouse. Pulling them quickly off of the hanger on which they hung and throwing them rapidly into the bag. They wouldn’t need to be folded right? They hadn’t brought enough clothes to worry about rolling or folding.

If he could just keep moving…

Was there anything else? He thought, scanning the room again as his heart sped up a bit. No, everything looked good. Clean, crisp. The bed made, the furniture just as sparkling and polished as it had been when they’d arrived.

Nothing had changed at all. Nothing. The world kept turning and spinning…though he felt still.

‘One more stop,’ he thought. Disregarding the maudlin musings that threatened. There was no time for that. There were things that needed to be done. Things he had to take care of before they returned to Port Charles.

If Elizabeth would just come in from outsi…

"Hi,"

At the sound of her voice, his trembling hands stilled for a moment and then returned to turning the black dress shoes this way and that as he tried to force them into her duffel. Whey the Hell weren’t they cooperating?

"Did you bring these for any particular reason?" He asked sharply. The black, pair of Gucci pumps rubbing roughly together as he maneuvered them into the tight confines.

She watched for a long moment before his exact task and question registered. "Are we leaving?"

He looked up at her with slight annoyance. What the Hell did it look like he was doing? Playing the tambourine?

"I think we should, don’t you? I mean we’ve been here for days now. I just got a new job…I’ll lose it before I even start."

Hesitantly she walked towards him. Removing her duffel bag and her shoes from his anxious hands. He was angry…He was angry and so was she – a lovely pair they would make today.

"I thought you said that the job would be waiting for you. That it wasn’t something that you had to start immedia –

"Well it’s not Elizabeth!" Lucky snapped. "But still…I gave the guy my word that I’d start soon…You’re only as good as your word right?"

Because she knew it was a slam aimed only at him self, and not her she disregarded his sharp tone. Realizing that he hadn’t meant to be hurtful. If he would tell her what he was thinking…if he could be angry WITH her and not AT her…

"When is our flight?" she asked casually. Closing her eyes, and inhaling deeply as she turned around. Facing the bed and not him.

"About 5 hours," he mumbled. Roaming into the bathroom to find their toiletries.

"Good," she said nodding. This was probably for the best. They should get out of here. The place was making them crazy, and it was time to face the rest of their lives together, wasn’t it? "That’s good," she repeated. "This way, we can get to Port Charles tomorrow and I can make sure that Alexis has put a rush on things…the sooner this divorce goes through – the better."

"Yeah," Lucky sighed. Stilling in the doorway of the bathroom. "Maybe if you’re not too busy you could make that a priority."

He saw her frame go rigid from behind at the very same moment the last word crossed his lips. And he closed his eyes and swore harshly under his breath. "Jesus…baby, I’m sorry…I -

"No, no," she said glancing towards him quickly, and then turning back towards the bed. "That’s ok."

"No, it’s not," he said quickly. Crossing towards her. When he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she all but melted into him. Needing his warmth, his strength – even when he thought he had none to give. "It’s not ok at all," he said again, kissing the crook of her neck. "I’m sorry…I’ve got absolutely no right to speak to you that way. I just…I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why I can’t just…"

His voice trailed away and she turned slightly in his arms, their eyes meeting. She placed a tender hand on the arm he had around her waist. "I know…you don’t have to explain it to me…

"But can we just…can we try and be angry together…at whatever or whomever…"

He laced his fingers through hers. Locking them together over her waist. The tiny scar jumping out at him as he bit down on his bottom lip. "Yes," he sighed. Kissing her cheek from behind. "We can try that."

She’d been on an emergency room operating table…near death. And still she managed not to hate him. Not to snap at him at every turn – when being horrible was all he could manage to do or feel today.

He closed his eyes once more as he unwrapped his arms from around her waist and sunk to the bed. Maybe once they were gone from this place – from Florence – he’d start to feel more like himself.

Even as the thought crossed his mind though, he knew it was ludicrous. He’d never be himself again.

"There’s someplace I have to go before we leave," he sighed. Since his mood was already worth crap, he didn’t figure this could make it any worse.

"Helena’s?"

Though he hated the very sound of the name, thank God in heaven that some things never changed. That Elizabeth could still read his mind before he even said a word. He prayed he still had the same gift. "Yeah," he answered quietly.

Elizabeth bit down on her lip. "I’ll hurry and get packed then. That way we can just leave from there."

Lucky shook his head from his place on the bed. "Elizabeth, no…You don’t need to come with me. I mean there’s no reason for you to put yourself through that.

"Through what?" She asked, bluntly. Staring into eyes that had seen her through so many sleepless nights. Eyes that she’d dreamt of even in their absence. He didn’t need to protect her anymore. She didn’t want to be protected. "You think there’s anything worse than what we’ve already gone through here?"

Slowly, Lucky shook his head. Knowing exactly what she was thinking. Maybe God had actually heard him a few seconds ago. She didn’t want to be protected. Trying to protect her was how he’d fucked up the first time.

And there couldn’t possibly be anything worse than what they’d already gone through. If there was…he wanted someone to pull the trigger right this instant.

"Lucky, you’ve seen what I’ve seen now," Elizabeth continued. "Felt what I’ve felt…Let me do the same for you. If we’re trying to get…to get US back – we have to get us back together…not separately.

"We can’t do it alone anymore."

Lucky licked his lips as he stood, and slowly crossed towards her. Cupping her face in his hands as he leaned his forehead against hers. "Never again."

Luke moved into the kitchen and kissed the top of his wife’s head. Stretching as he made his way towards a chair. "You’re up early…even for you - it’s early. The worms aren’t even up yet."

"I didn’t sleep much," she sighed. Sipping at the hot coffee that she nursed with both hands. It wouldn’t do anything to calm her nerves – she knew that. But she had to behave as if everything were normal if she were going to ward off this feeling. Even if normality only came from a steaming cup of coffee.

"I know," Luke sighed. Leaning back in the wooden chair. "You kept tossin’ and turnin’ all night…what’s up Darlin’?"

Laura shook her head and tried to keep the tears at bay. Knowing it wouldn’t help matters to get emotional. Especially when she didn’t know that there was any reason TO be emotional. "Did Lucky tell you how long he was going to be in Italy?"

Luke’s brow knit together. His voice rough with morning thickness. "No…he just said he’d be a little while – or a few days. He was hooking up something with Arnie Fletcher at the club the night before he left…gonna be working for him…Sweetheart I told you all this already," he sighed. "What gives?"

He’d recited a whole summary of that evening at the club, just last night.

"I know…I know," Laura whispered, shaking her head. "I just…something is wrong Luke. I can feel it…Something is very wrong."

Leaning forward, Luke folded his arms on the dining room table. Staring into his wife’s eyes. Something told him this wasn’t to be ignored.

"What are you saying Laura? You saying that 6^th sense of yours is tellin ya that Lucky’s in some kind of trouble? What kind?"

"No…I…I don’t know for sure," Laura said. Confusion, knitting her brow. "I haven’t had this sensation in so long Luke…and there were years when I should have felt it – but I didn’t. I mean what if it’s just…what if it’s just a fluke? I mean who the Hell knows - it could just be indigestion from that pot-roast last night."

"That was a damn fine pot roast woman," Luke corrected softly. Remembering how she’d gotten him to make dinner. "Don’t go knockin’ it….Seriously, though babe…I say if your gut is telling you something is wrong with our son…then it’s probably right. With the way he looked the other day…"

"And what Lu said about him," Laura interjected. Her voice soft. "She said she found him crying."

Luke rubbed a tired hand over his chin. "Yeah…I heard her say that…but maybe…I mean, you know – maybe he and Elizabeth just had a little argument? Our kid’s always been a tad sensitive."

Laura shook her head as she rose from the table. "No Luke this is different. It’s not just some arguement…I can feel it right here in the pit of my stomach," she sighed. Placing a hand on her belly. "It’s bad…and it’s the worst kind of bad there is, because it’s the kind that you can’t do anything to change."

Her husband simply stared at her for a long moment and she inhaled deeply. "I want my son home Luke…he needs to come home now."

He wanted to go home.

But there was one more stop – one more demon to face. The senior demon’s home…mother of the demon spawn.

He inhaled deeply as the door opened. There it was…the sights, the sounds, the smells…all of it rushing back to him. Memories of the very first place he’d come to during his stint as a hired criminal.

It was luxury to the fullest, and he’d hated it from the moment he’d laid eyes on it. Her voice…her amused cackle reaching out from every silent corner like a bony fingered ghost.

Elizabeth wanted to reach for him. Wanted to hold him, but she knew that wouldn’t fit their plan. Knew she’d only ruin things if she let her emotions get the best of her.

No…now was the time to get her anger out. To vent in a ‘constructive manner,’ is what Lucky had called it.

So she folded her arms and followed him across the threshold into the biggest house she’d ever seen. Apart from the one she’d been living in for the past several years. It seemed Alex’s mother had only slightly better taste in décor. Just from entering into the rotunda she could tell that the surroundings ranged from gaudy to gaudier.

Helena had always had a pretty good sense of fashion, but damned if her interior decorator hadn’t hated her guts.

‘Not that anyone could blame them,’ Elizabeth thought as the heels that obviously had come in handy after all, became wedged between two of the tiles. She shimmied the narrow wedge out of the crevice and moved forward behind Lucky.

Hell, breaking a heel would definitely be motivation enough to play her ‘part’ and play it well.

She listened carefully and watched as Lucky dubbed himself Vincenzo and shook hands with the man who must have been the caretaker. Quickly explaining in Italian that he needed to take a look around. An ache moved through her as she thought about how easily Lucky picked up languages, but then realized why he had. He’d spent so much time here…away from her.

Maybe one day they could go somewhere that was just theirs. Untainted by Helena or Alex, or anyone else that had ever wished to do them harm. Just him, and her and…

Before her brain could wreak havoc on her heart, she tuned back into the conversation that Lucky had with the caretaker. Making sure to wear the appropriate scowl of derision on her face.

Miraculously, he’d created an entire story on the short taxi ride over. His name was Vincenzo and hers was Eloise. They’d been married for 5 years and he had a pension for dark haired Italian girls with low I.Q.’s. She remembered raising her eyebrow as he’d explained that it was all ‘just pretend.’

She watched in silent awe now though, as Lucky explained the story to the caretaker. Adding that he’d come to the home of his employer, Helena Cassidine over a year ago for a huge party and had inadvertently left behind a very expensive necklace that had belonged to his wife. A necklace that he’d had in his pocket in order to be…repaired.

The caretaker’s expression of confusion drifted towards Elizabeth and she simply raised one eyebrow and glared back at him stoically. The picture of scorn.

"Divo prendere uno sugardo intorno, il signore," Lucky further explained. "La mia moglie e ovviamente distraught…e pazzesco."

Elizabeth let her mouth drop open wide and stomped down on Lucky’s foot with complete indignation at being called crazy. The last word being the only one she understood.

He’d told her it was ok to adlib right….’oooh,’ Elizabeth thought at the expression of pain on Lucky’s face. ‘Maybe not.’

Lucky’s nostrils flared before her shook it off. Turning back to the caretaker quickly. The man nodded vigorously at his plight, and showed them inside.

He hoped as his eyes lingered hauntingly on the wooden surfaces, that the memories appeared more like vague recollections and not lonesome flashbacks to a time not so long ago.

A time of loneliness and late nights in front of a computer. Breaking, painstakingly into the accounts that held money that belonged to his brother and systematically transferring it over to a man that held Elizabeth captive in a house where she didn’t belong.

Her sudden pat on his shoulder woke him from the unsettling reverie and Lucky cleared his throat to explain that they needed to be let into the office. That it had been where he’d left the necklace for safekeeping that night.

When the door shut slightly behind them, Lucky quickly whispered to her. "There’s a door in the closet that leads straight into a hidden storage room…Helena used to keep all her files and such there."

Elizabeth glanced behind her quickly and returned the whisper. "Do you think he knows?

I mean…what if he worked for Helena and has a picture of –

Lucky shook his head as they entered the office. "If that guy were on Helena’s past payroll he would have known to be a lot more careful about letting just anyone into the house…Nah, the people taking care of this place are either hired by the state or Helena’s attorney – in either case…they no diddly.

"If any of the original employees were still around, we wouldn’t have made it past the first gate…The place is definitely under new management," Lucky sighed as he finished.

She watched as he pretended to look through a drawer, and a chill ran suddenly up her spine. "Lucky you don’t think that Alex…I mean that maybe he –

"No…something tells me Helena didn’t trust her youngest as much as she let him believe that she did…She didn’t even give him access to all the documentation of what they did until AFTER her death…and why would he have had to come all the way out here to look for that key to the chest, if he had access to the staff or anything else in this house? They could have just sent it to him."

Elizabeth nodded. It made sense. "She probably knew he was too stupid to handle all the information so she took care of it herself until she know longer could."

Lucky didn’t answer. He didn’t want to think about Alex now. When he thought about Alex he thought about killing.

But Alex had been careless enough to keep evidence in his own house – and not very creatively hidden. It wouldn’t surprise him at all if his mother had counted him as just another failed imbecile of a child.

Only acknowledging him because she’d abandoned him and his father all those years ago. Who knew a heartless bitch could be ruled by guilt?

As he pulled open the door of the closet. Elizabeth guarded the door. The caretakers foot steps going back and forth idly in front of it. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"Anything that’ll help us link Alex to Helena…maybe things that weren’t in that chest…And addresses - there are a few people I’m gonna need to talk to about little Alex’s activities right before he and Helena started springing the tapes on me."

Elizabeth bit her lip. The tapes she could only imagine, making her stomach flip-flop.

He’d only told her vaguely over the evidence that had been discovered in the chest. But it wasn’t as if they’d had the time to really discuss it in the past few days. She knew Lucky needed time to process the blow he’d been dealt, rather than moving on to issue number ten thousand and forty-three.

Staring at the back of his shaven head for a moment, she felt her chest start to tighten. He said he wasn’t strong…but he was. He was here – facing his demons when she knew all he really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from the world.

"Ok," he whispered. Turning back towards her as his hand closed over a knob. "I found the latch behind the shelves in here…Can you handle distracting him for a bit?"

A grin pulled at the corner of her lips and she shook her head. Forcing the sadness away. She’d do anything he wanted her to do. "I think I can handle that."

Lucky smiled weakly at her and nodded in return. "Ok then…it’s show time…

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU ELOISE!!!" Lucky shouted. Slamming the closet door. "I put the damn necklace in THIS ROOM!"

Elizabeth nodded and narrowed her eyes as she stepped back. Hands flying to her hips. "Oh PUHLEEAZE! I thought you said you LOST it! And now you PUT it here???…Do you take your wife for an idiot?! You think I don’t KNOW that you brought that tramp FRANCESCA to this party? HUH? You’re going to tell me that you lost it in your bosses office?! SUUUUUUUUUUURE Vincenzo! SURE!….Unless of course you and your little hussy went at it right here on this desk!"

He nearly cracked at the way she pointed fiercely at the table. But before he could reply, the caretaker was at the door. His eyes moving worriedly from one of them to the next.

"Signore Vincenzo!" The little man shouted, crossing over the threshold. "Che cosa sembra essere il problema?!"

Elizabeth whirled on him. Knowing just enough Italian to understand when a man wanted to know what the Hell was wrong with her. "I’ll tell you what the problem is Mister! My husband here thinks I’m an idiot! He thinks I don’t know that he didn’t just LEAVE my necklace here on accident…he thinks I don’t know that it’s…that it’s upstairs where he slept with that…that…that WOMAN!"

Lucky’s eyes widened. Were those TEARS he saw in her eyes? Where the Hell had she learned to do that?

He placed a hand on her back. Playing the doting husband as he tried to console his hysterical wife. Lowering his voice to a soft whisper. Elizabeth still swept away by the fact that he could speak with an Italian accent even when speaking English. "Sweetheart, you know that I would never ever –

"Oh save it!" She shouted. "I want every room of this house searched!"

"Huh?" Lucky said, his eyebrows rising as he bent to meet her face. "Eloise you’ve gotta be kidding me, Bella! There are TONS of rooms in this place!"

"Oooh," Elizabeth sneered. "And how EXACTLY would you know? Is it because you TRIED them all out with all your little slut mistresses? Hmmm???"

His mouth dropped open in shock and he shook his head apologetically as he looked towards the caretaker. "Sono spiacente, Mr………aaahh," Lucky paused, not remembering the man’s name. "Che cosa e il vostra nome?" Lucky asked.

"Paulo."

"Si…Paulo," Lucky continued. "Sono cosi spiacente per lo scoppio della mia moglie –

"Stop apologizing for me!" Elizabeth shouted, shaking away from his hand. "I know what I know! And I am NOT crazy! I will not be IGNORED!"

This time he really did come close to breaking, and he quickly covered his mouth with one hand. Gritting his teeth when he spoke to the caretaker with mock horror in his eyes.

"Paulo here doesn’t even understand what you’re talking about for God’s sake Eloise – you’re hysterical and he’s Italian."

"Hysterical!" Elizabeth screamed. "Hysterical!?….Oh," she paused, shaking her head for dramatic effect. "I’ll show you hysterical…you ain’t SEEN hysteria yet….PAULO!" She shouted, crossing through the office to link her arm through his. The frightened man nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Come with me – we are SEARCHING this house – RIGHT NOW - from top to bottom!…You’ll help me right? A big strong man like you? I’m SURE you wouldn’t mind helping me search for my necklace…it’s a platinum setting with sapphires a HUGE princess cut in the middle set off by…

Elizabeth continued to ramble as a very confused Paulo shook his head. His forehead creasing. "Che cosa? Non capisco."

"Oooh, I know…I’m sorry friend," Lucky sighed, placing a hand to his heart. "I don’t understand her much either…Non capisco neanche………women," he added as an afterthought. Shrugging as he did.

Lucky suppressed a smile that wanted suddenly to erupt badly on his lips. For reasons he couldn’t think about right then, he would not allow himself the luxury of smiling.

Especially not in this damn house.

Maybe when he was through here, he’d set fire to it.

Alex grimaced and gripped the edge of the bed. Every muscle in his weak body, straining to push himself to a standing position. He couldn’t afford to lie idle in this bed anymore, no matter what that stupid doctor said. He’d wanted his own doctor, but of course Stephan had insisted upon using the large silent man who barely spoke as he examined.

A man who only ‘hmmd’ and said ‘soon,’ every time he looked over his broken ribs and bruises. He didn’t even know the man’s name for God’s sake!

And he hadn’t the time or desire to wait on ‘soon,’ to come. He had to act now.

They had information. Stephan, Nikolas, and Luke Spencer…Lucky Spencer. They all had information about he and the dealings he’d had with his mother. If he didn’t do everything to block them from attaining anything else to help, he’d most certainly go to prison.

He wished for a short moment that he had Leopold to call on again. To run interference for him, and make arrangements to have this all cleared up, but that old man had been a thorn in his side one too many times. With his pitiful, father-figure type glances towards Elizabeth, and finally…leaking information when he’d always promised to love him first. To be loyal to him FIRST.

Thank God there were still some things that the old man didn’t know – and would never know. The one thing that had been covered and covered well.

But nevertheless, he would have to teach the old man a lesson in loyalty. A lesson that he would never forget.

Phone calls were what he needed to make now. At least he could take care of these few issues while he was ‘incapacitated.’…But he needed his damn cell phone to make them.

Considering Stephan had that old wench Mrs. Landsbury remove the extension in this room. An extension that probably would have been bugged anyway.

Moving slowly towards the armoire, Alex opened the dark wooden doors and slipped his hands into the pockets of his clothing. The tuxedo shirt, pants, jacket that he wore last, washed and cleaned. Or maybe…

"Fucking bastards," Alex sneered. Running his fingers along the fresh fabric. It was a new tuxedo! The same brand and size that he wore…but new. The assholes had gotten rid of his clothes to hide the evidence of that little shit beating him up on his own property!

What had they done? Burn his original tux? Oh…they hadn’t seen burning yet. He’d burn them all. Burn them like they’d never been burned before. He would get the last laugh. He always got the last laugh. Elizabeth knew that now…and pretty soon they all would.

Flashes of Lucky’s foot connecting with his chest and sides flashed before his eyes, and Alex quickly shut them. The anger and humiliation boiling upwards from his stomach to his throat. He’d pay that little bastard back. Oh he would…

But for that he wouldn’t use a phone. That job would be done personally.

Alex cursed under his breath as he continued to search for the elusive cell phone. Sticking his near useless hands inside the pockets…’Unless,’ he thought. That little bitch of a wife of his had removed it during her mock seduction routine.

What a little whore she was.

She’d be getting some personal attention too real soon. As soon as he was well enough to break out of this damn cell of a room.

When his fingers finally wrapped around the cell phone he grinned. Muttering an expletive as he re-split his lip. The damn thing started bleeding every time his mouth moved a centimeter. He wiped at the trickle of bright red blood with the back of his hand as he snatched up the phone and started to dial.

Blood was a good thing. Blood and pain would serve as a constant reminder of what he had to do, and everyone on his payback list.

"Hello…Yes, it’s me. How are you? Yes…no, I won’t be needing you to watch her again. This is a new job – one you can’t breathe a word of to anyone…Right – the utmost discretion. Believe me this job will be worth your while…very handsomely…yes.

"I need you to find a few very important people and report back to me when they’re found. Yes…are you ready? First, a lone shark by the name of Timothy Durts. His last known residence was in Queens, New York……no, no – leave that to me."

Alex finished the last of the names and began his next call. The call he would relish most of all, because it would hurt her most of all. Would be the first sniper attack in this war…

It was time he took care of Audrey Hardy.

Lucky pressed his lips softly to Elizabeth’s knuckles and the small scar on her skin. Before placing it back down on his chest as she snuggled closer. She’d fallen asleep the second after they’d boarded. And his fingers drifted agitatedly through her soft strands. Wondering if he’d ever be able to allow himself to sleep again. Wondering how it was that she’d gotten through it, when every breath he took made him feel guilty.

He’d been happy today for Christ’s sake. For a short moment in time, in that office – he’d been happy. Content to lose him self in some caper that reminded him of the good part of being on the run. A part that reminded him slowly but surely as he’d rifled through Helena’s files, of what could have been had he decided to give Elizabeth a choice.

Months ago, as they’d both sat in their old apartment discussing what happened to them, he remembered saying to her - that faced with the decision of losing her or having her hate him for the rest of her life - that he’d chosen the later. And at that moment in time he’d believed the choice he’d made had been for the best.

But that was before.

Before he’d slept beside her and realized that no one had been there to comfort her in the midst of a nightmare. Before he’d realized she hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in years. Before he realized that her smile never quite reached her eyes anymore. Before he realized her husband made her feel like nothing. Before he realized that he’d killed his own child.

And of course she could deny all of it. Deny it until she was blue in the face, just to make him feel better, but he knew the truth. He knew it for what it was – something that he had allowed to happen.

How would things have turned out if instead of being in some foreign country, he’d been by her side that fateful afternoon? If he’d been the one she called instead of some emergency operator who couldn’t understand through tears that a baby was dying? If the pair of shoes she’d seen as she slipped out of consciousness had really been his, instead of Alex’s?

Could he have made it in time and saved their child? Saved them from years of past heartache? Years of heartache to come?

Perhaps that was giving himself too much credit. What the Hell had he ever saved her from in the past? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

Lucky closed his eyes, and new that sleep would not take him and he didn’t want it to. But his memories would. Memories of that very morning…standing – in the very room in which she’d begged sleep to take her to their daughter.

***

How long had he slept?

It was the first thought that came to mind as the early morning light sifted through the curtains and beneath his heavy lids. His eyes felt gritty and puffy, like he’d slept for years, though he knew he hadn’t.

He hadn’t wanted sleep…but at least the heaviness of it had aloud his brain no time for dreams. He was beginning to dread dreams. Beginning to hate this bed and this room…and he knew he was still there before he even opened his eyes. Just by the smell…by the feel of the fabric against his skin…

Reaching out he swept his hand across her side of the bed, finding the sheets cold. Finding it barren and desolate. His eyes opened at that.

"Elizabeth?" He mumbled. Realizing that his mouth felt strangely disconnected from the rest of his body. Everything already out of whack when the day had just begun. It made him want to lay back down against the pillow and just lie there until it was all over. Even though he hated the bed.

Nothing was comfortable. Until time rewound it self, nothing would be right again.

He licked his dry lips and slid his hand over the head that he only slightly remembered shaving. When had that been anyway? Yesterday? The day before? He couldn’t be sure.

‘Two nights ago,’ his brain reminded quietly. ‘Last night was the other thing…she wanted to make love…and you couldn’t.’

It came back to him like a bullet through the chest, and he quickly sat up again and threw the sheets from his body. Not bothering to look for pants to cover his underwear as he slipped out of the room and down the hall.

He remembered hands wanting to soothe. Soft words in his ear…her hair drifting along his chest. He remembered no erection and remembered her failed attempt at covering sadness.

Another failure stacked on a falling deck of cards. ‘What an interesting gambling analogy,’ some sadistic part of his brain observed softly. A part of him actually laughing at the entire situation.

Nothing could have been more poetic. Trying to protect someone one – but hurting them at every turn.

The dark hall suddenly surrounded him and he couldn’t remember having ever left this room. It was dark…too dim for the bright light of day and too quiet. It was the kind of house that was perfect for loud thoughts. Perfect for his.

And though the second door to the right of him was closed. He knew what lay behind it. He knew what he’d find there. Or rather what hadn’t been there when Elizabeth looked for it years ago.

"Luna…" the name tripped from his thick tongue and he pushed on the old door. Feeling it give under his hands almost too easily. As if the room wanted him - beckoned him to come in and feel all it had to offer. The false sense of hope mixing with the crash of reality in some odd surrealist image before his eyes.

The dreamlike vision that the window presented sat before him and Lucky moved towards it slowly. Legs of lead melting his pace down to a crawl. Time and space seemingly having slithered away.

This was the window. The one that Elizabeth had stood in front of day after day during her ‘recovery.’ When Alex has brought her to recuperate from something you don’t fucking recuperate from.

Physically…maybe. But emotionally – emotionally he knew that neither he or Elizabeth would ever really leave this house. They’d stay in this room…just staring out of this fucking window for all time.

When he pressed his fingers to the glass he swore he could feel her fingertips responding. Just as he had that time at the store window….the baby store.

His baby liked to dance out on the field just outside. Dance around in a white dress with green pears trimming the bottom. And the view of the grass, of the hill that he could now imagine her tumbling down, had she lived – was utterly spectacular. So green and blue that it hurt your eyes. Especially when they had become accustomed to darkness.

Accustomed to…’darkness,’ he thought again as he turned from the window and his eyes landed slowly on the bed. He wondered if he laid down on it, if he would feel life slipping away. If he would be able to see, Elizabeth downing almost an entire bottle of tranquilizers.

And though he deserved to feel it all. Deserved to go through every emotion that had plagued her, he didn’t want to. God help him he didn’t want to! He didn’t want to feel it.

Dear God, he didn’t understand how anyone could be expected to live through this. To go on as if life could somehow be ok again. As if, the whole world hadn’t become one massive jigsaw puzzle of insanity where none of the pieces were shaped the right way, and the puzzle itself wasn’t right.

He had to get out.

It was time to pack.

***

And he had. He’d packed and then proceeded to bite Elizabeth’s head off when she’d tried to make conversation.

Though he knew that returning to Port Charles wouldn’t help anything. If anything it would be an even ruder awakening. The reality of life without a daughter – without the possibility of one, was what he had to deal with now.

Lucky pressed his lips absently to the top of her head and felt her stir in his arms. "I’m sorry," he said quickly, seeing her eyelids flutter. "I didn’t mean to wake you."

Elizabeth yawned softly and covered her mouth. "It’s ok," she smiled. Letting her hand fall to her lap. "I’d much rather be awake…so I can look at your face," she finished softly.

Biting his lip, Lucky looked away, but Elizabeth placed a finger under his chin. Bringing his face back around to meet hers. She gazed into his baby blues and nearly cried. The twinkle she’d always found there, so dim it was barely visible.

When he silently dropped his head on her shoulder, she slouched down with him and wrapped her arms around his midsection. Paying no heed to the ‘fasten your seatbelt’ sign. "I was happy Elizabeth."

Because she didn’t understand she ran a smooth hand over his cheek and prompted him to speak again. "You were happy?…About what?"

"Today," he said softly. His eyelids becoming heavy. "When we were in that office…pulling one over on that guy – I was happy. For a few minutes I didn’t even think about her…how horrible is that?"

"No…no," she explained. Sitting up to look into his eyes. "Lucky don’t do that. Being happy for one measly moment in time does not make you horrible – it makes you human. It doesn’t mean that miss her any less – or love her," she added. Swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. "Any less."

"Do you think she knew?" Lucky asked. Reaching up to wipe roughly at a crystal tear at the corner of his eye. "That…that I loved – that I would have loved her?"

"Yes," Elizabeth answered emphatically. "Oh yes, Lucky…After that night - the night that I named her…I told her all the time. Every day, I’d tell her that her mommy and daddy loved her…and sometimes –

"What?" Lucky asked, his eyes wide with tears as he looked up at her. Desperate to hear anything about her. Thirsty for it. "What?"

A smile slipped over her features and Elizabeth shook her head. "Sometimes I would play my tape…my song, ‘Elizabeth,’ and the Christmas song you wrote for me. I’d rotate them, and I’d just sit there…and listen to your voice. It hurt," she added at the question in his eyes. "But I had to do it…I wanted Luna to hear who her daddy was…how beautiful he was."

Lucky looked down, but once again she caught his chin in her hands. "And you know what? I swear I felt a flutter every time!…I know all the child-rearing books and the doctors say that I wasn’t far along enough to feel the baby kick but….God help me Lucky, she KNEW. She KNEW you were her daddy and that you loved us."

He wiped the salty tears from his swollen lips. "You made a smart kid."

"WE made a smart kid…and seeing as she’s so smart – don’t you think we should listen to her?"

At his silence, she continued. "Lucky…she doesn’t want you to blame yourself."

"Elizabeth –

"No…listen to me. For some reason, I have trouble seeing her in my dreams lately Lucky – and that kills me. But I think I know why – it’s because I have you now. I have you to talk about her and fantasize about her with….but you – Lucky you are seeing her, and even though it hurts you, do you feel one ounce of blame in your dreams? One iota of anger coming from her?"

"No," Lucky said, shaking his head. "All I feel is love….This…breathtaking kind of love that I’ve never felt before in my life…I mean with us, it’s always been –

"You don’t have to explain," Elizabeth smiled. Wiping away her tears, and then his. "I understand it. I know it because I feel it too…Lucky, it’s the only thing that got me through those first years…PLEASE, PLEASE don’t deny yourself the pleasure of having them."

"What if I don’t deserve that?" He asked. Looking down at his hands. "What if I don’t deserve to see her or hear her laugh…"

"Of course you deserve it," Elizabeth sighed. Her brow knitting tightly together. She realized suddenly why their attempt at making love the night before hadn’t worked. A new onslaught of tears threatened and caused her voice to shake.

"Lucky you deserve it because you MADE her with me – and the reason you feel all that love, when you dream about her is because she IS love, Lucky…she’s a product of the love I had for you and the love you had for me – which was always more powerful than either one of us could even truly comprehend. Lucky…Lucky, if you let it – it can be more powerful than sadness…that’s what I’ve learned."

"You…" Lucky sighed. As he let the back of his hand drift over her skin. "You are truly more than I can comprehend."

Elizabeth leaned into his hand and returned the kiss on his knuckles that she’d felt on hers, in her sleep.

"Come ‘ere," she said. Pulling him back down to her shoulder, and letting her hand travel softly over the peach fuzz that was prickling up all over his head. Re-growth…

"We’ll be home soon."