***flashback***

~~Your heart’s a tire and mine’s a deer. You made sure to drive slow, but you forgot to steer.~~ Jonathan Jackson

Florence, Italy
Casa di Torbelli

There’d be rain soon.

The reports of sun and warmth, obviously profoundly premature as the clouds collected over the sun, turning the sky a moist shade of gray. It was humid, and a bit stifling as they made their way up the slight hill to the small country home. It was the kind of nasty day that made you want to just lay very still and do absolutely nothing until it passed.

But the day seemed settled. Content to be just as miserable as it wanted to be. In spite of complaints or the moaning of the citizens. They would get through it. They’d been through worse before.

Lucky followed behind Elizabeth, and wiped at his brow. His eyes a bit blurry and worn from the trip. His limbs already tired despite the short hike. Perhaps it wasn’t the weather that sucked his energy from him though. Perhaps it was being here. Being back here where it all began, that was draining him after only a few short hours.

Or perhaps it was something else entirely. Something that bubbled and stewed in the pit of his stomach as they neared closer to the house certainly made that clear.

But maybe…maybe it wasn’t that at all, right? Maybe it wasn’t what he thought it was. Maybe his brain’s active dream life had absolutely no bearing on what was going to happen here today. Maybe…

He walked up the cobblestone drive, knowing that he’d stayed in a home only 30 minutes

away from here for months. Perhaps it was that which was coating the inside of his mouth with something slick. Something disgustingly empty and alone.

Helena and Alex had planned this down to a T, hadn’t they? In fact it was almost impressive what they’d done together. Plotting methodically in their arrangement to get both he and Elizabeth here at once so many years ago. And for what exactly?

It wasn’t as if they’d ever actually ran into each other. Although, Lucky had imagined seeing her millions of times. ‘Maybe,’ he thought silently. Remembering the very last time he thought he’d seen her in the city. ‘Maybe you didn’t imagine those times at all.’

***

Lucky picked the yellow flower and felt a strange connection to it as he slipped down onto the bench in front of the fountain. The water’s light trickling, playing like a soundtrack beneath his thoughts and dropping like the notes of a piano against the stone bath in which they fell.

Two small birds bathed and bickered simultaneously. Flitting about while they checked repeatedly over their shoulders for enemies, both human and animal.

He wasn’t going to do anything though. He wouldn’t hurt them. He just wanted to sit and watch. Wanted to see something alive and happy before his eyes. God, it been so long since he’d seen anything truly alive and happy.

For months now he’d felt dead inside.

Of course the sensation of longing that passed over him was nothing like it had been over a month ago. There was a day in particular that he never wanted to live through again. He’d gotten so sick to his stomach that even Helena had taken pity on him for a few hours. Making her servants bring him medicine and special ‘healing,’ foods. Of course he hadn’t wanted any of it. Of course he’d known that none of it would work anyway.

Because it hadn’t been his body that was ill. It had been his heart. He’d been heartsick over Elizabeth, and for some reason that day had been worse than any day that had passed without her. He’d literally wanted to curl up inside himself and die right then and there.

But the hope. The hope that things would change one day had been too great to think of ending it. He hadn’t been with Helena that long yet, he could tough it out right? His father would have toughed it out right? No, Lucky thought. His father would have found a way out of this long ago.

That didn’t matter now though. He would tough it out if it meant getting back to Elizabeth.

Today seemed a little brighter though, Lucky thought. Slow and melancholy, but the sun was shining brightly down on Italy, and the birds were chirping. And the flowers were…beautiful, Lucky thought as he held the yellow petals up to his nose and inhaled deeply. It was sweet and warm.

Just like Elizabeth at night, when you lay next to her and her hair brushed just under your nose for a moment.

It was so quiet, but amazingly enough you could barely hear the traffic on the street as it passed by the small park. Lucky looked up and cascading water obscured his vision as he glanced across the street. Perhaps that was a good thing because the Italian girl who’s hair fell about to her shoulder blades, could have passed for Elizabeth from behind, and that was the last thing Lucky needed to stare at.

Though, his eyes wanted nothing else but to continue to stare longingly…achingly. She stood with her back to him, peering inside a store window. Pressing her hands against it. And from far away…and with her back turned it could have been Elizabeth. It could have been…

He smiled a bit and something terribly alive tugged at his heart. When she didn’t turn around and walk away, Lucky stood up. His pulse, beginning to race a little. He clutched his heart.

It couldn’t be could it?…It couldn’t…

Elizabeth’s hair wasn’t that long. It was just slightly past her shoulders right? And her calves…her calves in a sundress had always been a bit more defined than that.

‘Her hair could have grown…she could have lost a little weight...’ Lucky thought. Trying to hold him self back from crossing the street. Dear God, what if…what if…

Maybe he could take the chance! Helena had left him alone for the day right? And the guards wouldn’t even blink about him wanting to enter some kind of……what kind of store was it anyway?

He got closer. Stepping down off the curb and barely glancing both ways before he took off for where the woman was standing. A small crowd of people passed between them and Lucky sighed anxiously as he tried to get around them. ‘Come on! Come on!’ he thought internally, his eyes shifting around the group. Making sure she was still there as he maneuvered and dodged a tiny fleet of tourists.

A camera flash blinded him for a moment and he closed his eyes. ‘Closer…almost there,’ he thought as they re-opened and he got closer to the store…If it was her, he would -

The wave of disappointment that washed over him was probably a good thing. It would teach him not to get his hopes up in the future. For the woman wasn’t standing there any longer, and of course it hadn’t been Elizabeth in the first place.

What would she be doing in Italy?

‘You barely left her enough cash to pay the rent for a couple of months remember?…You think she can afford a trip to Florence now?’

Lucky placed his hand on the glass, exactly where her hands had been. And dear God if he didn’t know better he could have sworn he felt her. Felt her skin, in every centimeter of those small fingerprints on the glass. The hands…they were just about her size in comparison to his…

He licked his lips and sighed. Turning back to stare at the traffic in the street. It was time to go back to work. Days off weren’t good. They only made him feel more alone, and like a bigger fool than he already knew he was.

***

It was a beautiful place, Lucky noted as he walked. The countryside, the city, the people, the language…everything here was gorgeous but he couldn’t remember having ever sat anywhere long enough to really enjoy it. Even on that bench in the park he used to visit…he never stayed long enough to soak any of it in.

Seeing things of beauty seemed awkward without Elizabeth. Almost as if he were cheating.

He hadn’t had any right to see anything beautiful anyway. And he hadn’t been in Florence to sight see.

It’s funny how just when you thought you might be starting to forgive yourself for something you’d done…something came along to make you realize you really were just as big of an ass as you thought were all along.

Elizabeth’s voice woke him from the trance-like state he was in as she bent down at the front door, pulling a small brick from the side of the house. It loosened and she removed a tiny silver key that lay inside the dusty hollow.

"It’s still here," she whispered. "I was hoping it would be."

‘Leopold’s house,’ Lucky thought to himself, as she slipped the key inside the lock and turned slightly. The stately old wooden door swinging open under duress. It creaked loudly and Lucky stepped inside after Elizabeth.

It smelled the way old libraries sometimes did, and Lucky stopped for a moment in the small entryway to breathe it in. It was comforting in some odd way. Almost like the smell of already brewing coffee in the morning.

A picture of the virgin mother stared back at him from the side wall and he closed his eyes once more.

Elizabeth slowly made her way into the parlor and placed her suitcase down on the floor. Closing her eyes as the smell invaded her nose as well. As every sense in her body began to remember.

Just as she knew they would, the memories came flooding back. To the point of surrealism. She heard Lucky’s voice float towards her from behind and couldn’t quite process it.

"It looks like the place has been kept up," He said, placing his own things on the floor. Maybe if he kept talking and moving, the world wouldn’t come to a stand still. As long as something in the universe remained consistent.

She nodded slowly before she turned to him. Her hands clammy and her chest far too tight to really breathe. She inhaled through her nose and tried to get control of her entire being. If she didn’t she’d be sucked under by the current before she even told him anything. She wiped her hands anxiously against her pant legs and continued her journey around the room.

Why had she brought him here? Why? She could have just told him at home…in Port Charles. But she’d thought…what had she thought exactly? That being here would …that she could show him where she always saw their child? Where she’d felt closest to her for some reason, she never fully understood.

Or had it been simply for selfish reasons that she couldn’t really stand the thought of indulging even for a moment. Maybe…maybe a part of her wanted him to feel the way she had. As badly as she had.

Swallowing hard, Elizabeth nodded. He’d made a comment a few seconds ago and she hadn’t responded yet.

"Leopold usually gives his housekeeper 3 weeks off during the summer…She probably just left a few days ago."

Lucky licked his lips nervously and turned around in a small circle. It was beautiful here…he didn’t want to be here. He suddenly felt more isolated from Elizabeth than he’d ever been, yet completely connected. A strange paradox that made him shiver.

Forcing himself to focus outwardly and not inwardly, he looked at his surroundings. It was a modest, but beautiful old home. Complete with flowery works of art and fruit that had recently been set out in a bowl.

Odd that such living things could be here. In a place that smelled so…old.

He watched from behind as Elizabeth moved around, touching various pieces. Letting her fingers travel over them in some kind of reverence. An almost fearful reverence that made Lucky’s stomach churn.

"His wife painted most of these," she whispered out of nowhere. "Before she died…

"They lived in this house – just the two of them, until Alex came to live here…as a little boy. Leopold said he was a good child…but unhappy. Maybe that’s why he has to make everyone miserable. He wants everyone to be as unhappy as he is."

Though he didn’t even want to hear the name, Lucky eased down into a small, antique chair and let her talk. He couldn’t really speak anyway. His hands started to clench the animal-like wooden armrests. Why did people used to carve animal limbs into furniture? Even that was suddenly really annoying. God, every part of him was anxious…on fire.

She was rambling. For as long as he could remember, she’d rambled on and on. Endlessly when she wanted to avoid a topic.

But never before had he wanted to shake her.

"I imagine they were happy to have him here," Elizabeth finally said, turning to him. "They couldn’t…they couldn’t have children: Leopold and his wife. So they were probably happy to have a little…boy here…

"Adopting…that’s probably…I mean people do that all the time…I bet it’s very rewarding…"

Elizabeth sighed. ‘Damnit just say what you want to say! Just SAY IT!’

But it seemed to her that she wasn’t running the show any longer. Her mouth had a mind of it’s own and it was going to take it’s own course. "When I stayed in this house…Leopold was the only one I could talk to. The only one that I THOUGHT understood…but he wasn’t – he didn’t…because if he did he would have never went along with it. He would have never allowed me to marry Alex, if he truly understood."

Lucky leaned forward. His hands clasped together tightly enough to draw blood. Then why were they here! Why were they in a place where no one had understood her? Let alone the man who owned this house! Why were they here…why…

He pressed his fingers to his thighs and looked up into her eyes. "Understood what Elizabeth?"

Looking back, years from now. Lucky would know – looking into her eyes - that he’d only asked the question because he already knew. Only asked it for confirmations sake. Asking to prepare himself for the bombshell he’d known for weeks now…maybe known on some level – for years.

Elizabeth’s bottom lip began to tremble and she held out her hand to him. "Can we go for a walk?"

Lucky shook his head quietly. Was she trying to make him crazy? "Why don’t we just stay here? We just got here."

She bit down on her lip. "Please…I’ll tell you. I just need…I need to take you somewhere first."

Sensing that she did, Lucky rose from his seat and suddenly felt like an old man. His back hurt. His legs hurt...

He followed from behind as she exited the small house. Out into the stillness and quiet of the gray day. The clouds, very obviously on the brink of something huge - something major.

They wandered around to the side of the house, through a gate that led out into a garden of roses. The smell was so intense in the thick air that Lucky closed his eyes. Following blindly as she pulled him along.

Why was everything so intense here? The smell, the heat, the air…even in the fresh environment he was beginning to feel smothered. Like someone was sitting right on top of his chest.

His eyes were still closed as she led him out of the garden and into the extending field. Maybe it was for the good of them both. Perhaps if they would have been open during the journey, he might have stopped in his tracks when he saw what lay in front of him now. He might’ve turned and ran for safety.

The stage setting for his dreams…

Breathing came fast and furious as the green hills of emerald rolled before his eyes. An empty space of vastness as far as the eye could see. No, no that was wrong - there was a woman across the field…taking clothes down from a line…there were flowers blooming…

Lucky closed his eyes once more and tried to steady himself against the bombardment to his senses. Wanting to run away suddenly but knowing that he couldn’t. That this was the moment his dreams had been trying to prepare him for. This was true…this was real.

He pulled slightly on Elizabeth’s hand as if to keep her from taking him in any further. But she felt so far away…She was staring in wonderment at the woman across the way. The woman who hummed with a baby on her hip.

A sudden breeze in the midst of stillness brought the sound over. The humming and the gurgling of a baby. She jiggled the child on her hip and looked down at him in wonder over what she’d created.

Jolting from her reverie, Elizabeth turned around when Lucky’s hands slipped from hers.

He was walking away. In circles…his hands seemingly stuck to his head…

She tried not to cry. Not to force him to come and stand by her.

"Lucky…Alex and I weren’t here on some kind of…vacation," she began, her voice wavering. "I came here because…See, he brought me here to recover…after I…After she…"

He turned to face her and they locked eyes for one long drawn out moment. When he asked the question she nearly collapsed.

"What was her name?"

Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open in an instant and she shook her head. Fresh realization ripping through her gut. "Wh…

"What was her name?" He asked again. His voice merely a whisper against the lilt of humming and a childish coo. He wanted to turn and yell. Tell them to shut up! SHUT UP!

Silent tears began their descent down Elizabeth’s cheeks as she crossed over to where he stood. Reaching out for his hand. He yanked it away as if he’d been burned. "What was her name!" He shouted.

A sob ripped through Elizabeth’s open mouth and the woman in her backyard looked up. Holding her baby a bit tighter before she began her retreat into the house.

Lucky closed the space between them and wrapped his fingers tightly around her forearms. "What was her name!" He pleaded. His entire, being beginning to break apart. A vein pulsed in the center of his forehead she reached out for his face when she said it.

"Luna."

Lucky took shaky breaths and turned away. Wiping roughly at the wetness on his face with the back of his hand. He suddenly couldn’t catch his breath and he had to walk. Had to keep moving or he would die right here on this spot.

But damn it his legs would barely move! He was so tired, so…weak. His body collapsed blindly to the rug of grass beneath him. And he hunched over. Holding his stomach as he began to rock.

She was next to him suddenly. Holding him…tight.

"No…no…I can’t," he whimpered. Pushing at her. "I can’t…"

Elizabeth pulled back and clutched his face in her hands as he tried to crawl away. "Lucky please…please, let’s do this together. I can’t do this alone anymore…please."

He shook his head and brushed her hands away. "No………When?" He sobbed. "When did you know? When did it…"

She wanted to press her fingers against his trembling bottom lip, but he wouldn’t let her touch him. He wouldn’t let her…

Shaking from head to foot she started to ramble and tried to keep her hands clenched in her lap. It was as if a floodgate had been opened and everything wanted to tumble out at once.

"I…I found out the day that you left. I’d suspected for….a couple of weeks Lucky…but I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know for sure before I told you…Please Lucky!" She screamed. Her voice hoarse when he tried to move away from her again. She clasped his hands in hers, and tilted her head to force him to look at her. "Please!" She coughed in agony.

"We were so worried about money," she continued quickly. Talking through the tears that tightened her throat. "I didn’t want to be wrong…I didn’t want to be wrong and have you stressed out over nothing. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t think. I didn’t know…I didn’t know!"

Lucky licked his lips and tried to get control of his breathing. He couldn’t…he was about to hyperventilate and the world was growing dark. He backed away and wrapped his arms around himself. "How did she…why?" he asked.

He tried to look anywhere but her eyes…they were the same shape. The same shape of the little girl’s in his dreams…Luna…the name echoed through his mind like a song he’d already known the words too, but forgot. His hands itched to press against his ears. Keep pressing until his head exploded and there was nothing left of him to feel pain or to cause it.

He started to cry harder and he hit the ground beneath him over and over again, since covering his ears hadn’t worked.

Elizabeth reached out for his arm. He’d break his hand if he weren’t careful. She sobbed and held it back. "Lucky," she moaned. Holding him back.

"I did it," he whispered. "I did it…"

"No!" Elizabeth said. Holding his reddened face once more. "No you didn’t…I did it. Listen to me…They called what happened an Ec - an Ectopic pregnancy," she began, hiccuping against the new wave of emotion. "What it means is that the baby…the baby is developing in the wr – wrong place," she paused as Lucky looked up. Questions floating though every drenched cobalt facet in his eyes.

"The baby was in my fallopian tubes instead of the uterus…and it couldn’t survive there…there was noth – nothing they could do to save her, Lucky."

He shook his head. There had to have been something. There had to have been. If he had been there…If he had FUCKING been there!

"Nothing," he repeated over and over again. Some part of his soul immediately dying to believe that.

"I’m sorry," Elizabeth said. Her throat closing up once more. "I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to lose her Lucky…I’m so sorry…it was my fault. I wished her away, I wished her aw -"

"STOP IT!" He shouted. His hand pressing instantly against her mouth.

His brain felt like it was being split down the center. He couldn’t hear it. He couldn’t hear anything else. He couldn’t…he would just die. Right now, in this grass he would simply lay down and die.

Slowly, his eyes settled on his hand and the way her tears fell over it, the way she sobbed beneath it. He jerked it away. Shaken by his actions. "Oh God," he sobbed. "I’m - I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to - …Sweetie, I’m sorry," he pleaded. Moving close enough to wrap her in his arms. "I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s…

Elizabeth fell into his embrace, and molded herself to him. Pressing her hands into his back. "It’s ok," she whispered. "We don’t have to talk…we can just…we can just sit here," she hiccuped again. "I won’t say another word."

"No," he whispered. Shaking his head against her hair. "We have to…I have to…When did it happen?" he asked. "How?"

She broke away immediately. Staring into his bloodshot eyes for a moment before refusing. "No…let’s just be quiet Lucky…please. No…I can’t. Please Lucky."

He reached out to her. Holding her face in his hands. "Elizabeth I have to know …please…I have to!"

A light mist began to fall over them and Elizabeth closed her eyes. She had never relived this memory for anyone. Not ever. She wasn’t sure she could do it. Not even for Lucky.

"Lucky…"

At the look of pure emptiness in his eyes she knew she had to. She knew he had to know everything. Had to make some sort of sense out of senselessness. They joined hands between them and she started to explain…slowly.

"It was the day I planned on starting to look for you...I had just come home from lunch…and the baby – Luna. I was starting to feel her, so much…I was starting to show a little. My pants never fit…and I didn’t want to do it alone Lucky…I didn’t…I wanted you, and Luna wanted her daddy…so I knew I had to find you…I was going to call your parents."

***

She shut her eyes tight and silently prayed as she lay stock still on the couch. Her muscles clenched as she waited for the sensation to pass. Once it was gone she would get on the phone and call Laura…maybe she even had some of Lu’s old baby things put away somewhere…maybe…

"Oh God!" she yelled as the pain rippled through her stronger this time. She knew. She knew in her heart that something was terribly wrong. She’d known for an hour now…but had tried to pass it off as indigestion. But it wasn’t just heartburn. How could it have been when she’d barely eaten anything at lunch…

A frozen wave of panic washed over her body in an instant and she shivered to her very core, bringing her legs up to her chest in an effort to warm herself. Suddenly so cold.

She pushed haphazardly at the strands of hair near her forehead and noticed the moisture that clung to her fingertips when she brought them down to her face. How could she be sweating when she was so deathly cold?

The pain began to course through her entire body like the driving beat of a drum.

‘So cold,’ she thought again. As another chill ran through her.

She tried to move. Tried to push her body off of the couch. The ground suddenly seemed so far away.

‘Oh God…baby, please. Please…I beg you not to do this…You can’t come now. Baby, you’re too small.’

The thought brought more tears than the pain did, as they met and shook hands for the first time. One sharp fist clenching her abdomen suddenly and more violently than before. Hot tears streamed down her cheek and she shivered in the cold.

It wasn’t cold outside. It wasn’t cold in the apartment…she was sweating.

An agonizing moan slipped from her as she rolled from the couch. Calling out when she hit the floor. The glass of water she had sitting on the dining room table rolling off as well. Splashing the bottom of her shirt.

Her breath emerged in short, quivering pants and the water felt good through the cotton of her shirt. So hot…

For the second time in her life she really did feel as if maybe she were dying. But he wasn’t coming to save her this time.

"Oh my God!" She screamed once more, louder this time, as the pain became more intense. Causing her to still against the floor. She had told herself that if she lay still maybe it would go away. Maybe it would just disappear and she’d be fine by morning.

She’d get up, call Luke and Laura and start looking for him. They’d find Lucky and she’d tell him about the baby and he’d come home. Not just because of the baby, but because he’d realized he was wrong and that he loved her…he loved her so much. And he’d tell her and he’d hold her, and everything would be ok again. They’d go shopping for their baby and it would be born healthy and alive and vibrant, with beautiful blues eyes like her daddy.

Elizabeth tried to bite back the second scream that threatened and failed. Lying on her small stomach now with her right fist clenched inside the nap of the carpet.

She tried to breathe through the pain, like they always told women to do on television when they were in labor. The mere thought sending her into a frenzy of body wracking sobs. She couldn’t be in labor. It was too soon! MUCH too soon. The baby couldn’t be born yet. It wouldn’t survive.

And she wouldn’t survive if it didn’t.

Dear God, she hadn’t even found out it’s sex for sure…Yes, she’d called it Luna…but maybe she was wrong…she hadn’t even told anyone…She wanted to tell people about her baby damnit!

‘Stop this!’ She thought, struggling forward as the pain subsided just a bit. The numb twinge of it hanging on as a reminder of the miniscule amount of time she had left. ‘Get up, and get to the phone! You aren’t letting this baby die! You can’t! You can’t lose anyone else! Now get the Hell up and get to the phone!’

Elizabeth pushed herself to her knees and crawled a few inches before the hot edge of a

blade seared through her belly once again. She doubled over, managing to yank the phone chord down in the process. The receiver and cradle both clattered to the floor of the kitchen. Landing right next to her head. Half her body, still lie cushioned by the rug. The other half, baking against the cool linoleum. Her head felt like it was on fire now. If she could only leave it there for a moment against the floor…It was so cold…it felt so good…

The sounds of her own sobbing seemed distant. As if someone else were making the rough sounds that emerged from her gut. She pulled the receiver down to her ear. Her fingers no longer a part of her body. Just a part of her hand that she could see, but not feel.

She thought the receiver was close enough to her ear now…it was wasn’t it? She couldn’t be sure. Everything was disappearing. Her body leaving… Not just hiding inside herself until Lucky came back. But, really and truly vanishing.

Twisting, to glance at the numbers on the old telephone, she closed her eyes. The numbers dancing out of focus. When she opened them again, the digits still pranced from space to space. Taunting her to reach out and touch someone. Reach out and pick the right numbers to call for help if she could.

She pressed the three digits, in a slow drawn out succession. Pulling the phone to her chest as she flopped over to her back. She heard a voice on the other end. A voice that seemed clouded by the pounding in her ears, and the darkness that was falling on the room.

"911. What is your emergency?"

Was that her? Looking down on her own body from somewhere near the ceiling? No…no that was her – over by the portrait of Miller’s Pond as her own stupid voice failed her.

‘Speak up you twit!’ The hovering girl shouted, shaking her head back and forth in annoyance. ‘You’re gonna lose this baby too. Just like you’ve lost everything else in your life Lizzie…You drive everything away. You know that right? You know you don’t really DESERVE this baby. You never deserved Lucky…You never did. This is just the way things go!’

She shut her eyes tight, and tried to speak again. Her throat parched beyond belief. Her brain, not processing anything correctly. So thirsty, so hot, so cold…It was as if every sense she had was going haywire.

Going haywire in order to shut down early…Closed. Out of service - Permanently.

"Wh…"

Her right hand began to shake, and her left hand moved up as if in slow motion to steady it. ‘Two hands on the phone…hold it…press it to your ear…talk.’

Maybe it hadn’t been her. Maybe it had been someone else who screamed when she realized there was blood all over the phone. Why would there be blood on the phone…why was it on her hands…why was…

A choking sob echoed through the small apartment and into the mouthpiece. A small piece of rational thought pushing through the fog to save her.

"Please help me!!!! I’m bleeding…I’m bleeding…My baby…" She cried, shaking her head back and forth. The operator continually requesting that she remain calm. Telling her she couldn’t understand her…that she needed to breathe deeply and stop panicking.

"It hurts!!!! It fucking hurts!!" She yelled, into the phone. Choking now on her own tears. The way a child did when they wanted their mother. "I can’t stay fucking calm! Please!!!"

She was cursing and crying in a tone that wasn’t her own. Wasn’t even anything that anyone could comprehend.

A little girl’s voice whispered from somewhere near the corner. ‘You’re dying Warm…Just stay very still. It will all be ok very soon.’

There was no one there. No one there but her, the operator, and her unborn baby. Warm?

"Lucky?" she asked. As she realized she wasn’t the only one there at all. She was quiet now and unafraid as a pair of shoes moved past her eyes.

Everything really would be ok now. She wasn’t going to die at all…and her baby would be fine too. Lucky was here now.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I knew you’d come...."

Those were the words that slipped from her dry lips when the lights finally dimmed completely.

***

Lucky’s voice was hoarse and dry when he spoke. Everything in his body having gone still until he reached upward and wiped violently at his silently falling tears.

He didn’t deserve to cry. Had no right to cry…He’d done this.

"It was him," he began quietly. "Alex."

It was more of a statement than a question, and Elizabeth nodded as she brushed tears from her cheeks. Why wasn’t he looking at her? Why couldn’t he look her in the eyes? Was he that angry? That disgusted with her? Oh God, she didn’t think she could bare it if he hated her now. If all along Alex had been right.

The questions clenched her heart tightly and threatened to shatter it into a million pieces. ‘Again,’ she thought. Just when you thought your heart couldn’t be broken anymore, it could.

Tentatively she reached for him, and almost cried out when he backed away and stood to his feet. "I have to go…for a little while," he said quickly. His eyes still darting around the field at anything but her.

How could he have done this to her…how?

"Lucky," she said standing as well. "Please don’t go!"

He shook his head and shied away from every attempt she made at touching him. "I have to go…I’m – I’m sorry…I’ll be back – I just…" Pausing, he looked into her eyes. She didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand why he had to be by himself. Her eyes were full of love and sympathy…how could she feel those things for him?

"I’m not leaving…I just – please Elizabeth…just a few minutes."

He watched her nodd quietly to herself, and looked down at the ground. It had been covered with light drops of mist, and it looked like a sparkling green carpet. "Ok," she whispered. And a moment later he was gone

She sunk back down into the grass and lifted her head to the gray sky, and for the second time in her life, honestly didn’t know if he’d be coming back.

Maybe this was the one thing Alex had been right about. Maybe Lucky couldn’t forgive her for this. Maybe she’d actually lost him this time, and nothing would ever be alright again…ever.

Lying down in the grass, she curled her feet up to her chest and let the light sprinkles of rain fall down on her face.

In sleep she would see her daughter…and maybe this time she’d be able to touch her…

~~~~~~~
Casa di Torbelli

Lucky shoved through the door and braced himself against the inner wall. Leaning against it for stability. Trying to catch the breath that alluded him. If he didn’t hold himself in check, the sobs in his chest would take complete control of his entire being. He stood there for a long moment moaning as he pushed against the wall with all of his weight. Trying to push it away and keep him self, standing all at once.

When a figure appeared in the corner of his eye, he jerked around to look behind him. "What the Hell are you doing here!" He nearly shouted.

The old man staring at him from across the hall with concern in his eyes. "I live here…What are YOU doing here?…Just now I was wondering who’s things were in my salone…I guess I know now."

Lucky licked his dry lips and stepped back. Leaning against the wall. The room, beginning swirl as his heart pounded relentlessly in his chest. Could you have a heart attack in your twenties?

"You’re not supposed to be here," he stated. His voice breathy and labored. "You’re not supposed to –

"Dio!…" Leopold cried out, reaching for the boy as he nearly collapsed against the wall. "Venuto qui," he said. Grabbing Lucky underneath the shoulders as he pulled him towards the kitchen.

"I don’t wanna go anywhere with you!" Lucky growled. Pushing against him. Leopold, suddenly taken aback by the show of strength when the boy obviously had been about to keel over just a split-second ago.

"Well, I’m not going to have you passing out on my floor! So come into the kitchen…get something to eat…You stand there looking like you’ve seen a ghost," Leopold muttered under his breath.

Lucky stopped in his tracks and when Leopold turned to look at him, he knew that the boy had indeed seen a ghost. And his heart dropped into his shoes. If his guess was right, the ghost had been a little girl with blonde hair.

"Venuto qui," he said again. Whispering this time. "Come inside."

Reluctantly, Lucky followed the old man into the kitchen. With a hand pressed against his heart. He settled into a chair as the old man went about making what smelled like espresso and turned Lucky’s stomach into a billion knots.

He watched silently as he moved easily about his kitchen as if everything was just fine. As if a child hadn’t died. HIS child!

"You’re a bastard."

Leopold stilled in his actions. Sitting the package of coffee grounds against the countertop. He turned slowly around and nodded. "This I can’t dispute."

Lucky forced himself to stay in his chair and shook his head slowly. "And you think that makes it better? You think admitting what you are, makes it alright? Think it just absolves you of guilt?"

"I think no such thing."

He smiled bitterly. "You know what old man? You’re worse than he is…You’re worse than Alex because you…you pretended to be her friend didn’t you? Her confidante…

"When she came here she must’ve been just about ready to die…and there you were. All Santa Clause like and understanding…what a crock of bullshit," his eyes were starting to flood again so he stood up and swallowed back his tears. Narrowing the space between him and the man who had acted the part of trustworthy.

"Somebody like you," he continued. "You’re the REAL danger – somebody who says they care and says they love…and then just abandons a person when they need you most…Somebody like you deserves to die."

Locking his eyes with the younger man’s, he nodded solemnly. "It would solve so many things wouldn’t it? You would probably be doing the world a favor."

"Don’t patronize me old man. You don’t know what the fuck I’m capable of."

"I don’t patronize," Leopold said shaking his head.

"Oh you don’t?" Lucky said. Moving closer still. He could suddenly smell the fear on the old man and he liked it. Something inside of him thrived on it. "What the Hell do you call what you did to Elizabeth? She came here after losing…" Once again he choked against the lump in his throat.

"You’re baby," Leopold offered.

Lucky’s hands flew against his neck so fast, that he had neither the time nor the desire to contemplate the action. "Don’t you talk about her…don’t you say one WORD about her, do you understand me," he demanded through grit teeth. "I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say about her."

Gasping, Leopold nodded. "Ok…ok…"

His arms withdrew slowly from the old man’s form, and Leopold slumped slightly against the countertop behind him.

"You were never Elizabeth’s friend," Lucky seethed, backing away because he didn’t trust himself. "You never would have let her marry that monster if you had been…never."

Leopold glanced down at his feet. "He was like a son to me –

"Oh!" Lucky said throwing up his hands. "Well you wanna know something about your son, old man?! Something you can be proud of, huh?…You know what your son almost did to her the night before last?! Do you?! Maybe you’d like to see her bruises…maybe –

"I know!" Leopold shouted, cutting him off mid tirade. "I know," he said again.

Lucky’s eyes narrowed. "What do you mean you know?"

Sinking down to one of the chairs at the table, Leopold sighed tiredly. "I saw you that night…running through the woods. I’d just arrived at the gala – I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I’d gotten a bad feeling about it. I knew what Alessandro had planned and I was afraid for Elizabetta. When I heard the screaming from the guesthouse I started to go towards it…but then I saw you tear in through the front door…

"I stayed in the shadows…You and Elizabetta came out some time later with the Cassidine boy, you had blood on your shirt…and Elizabetta looked…" his voice trailed off. Ashamed of what he knew Alex had probably done to her. Ashamed of what he now knew his surrogate son was capable of with someone he supposedly ‘loved.’

"Later I saw a doctor come…and no body bag go out. So I figured he was still alive."

Lucky didn’t flinch. "A massive oversight on my part…it won’t happen again."

"You won’t kill him," Leopold said, glancing up into the young man’s troubled eyes. Knowing that no matter what he wouldn’t kill in cold blood. Any chance he’d had to kill the man who’d stolen his life in an act of self defense had come and gone, and he hadn’t chosen to take that option.

"You doubt that I would kill him?" Lucky said. Nearly grinning. He sighed. "You must be dumber than I thought because if he ever put his filthy hands on Eliza –

"He won’t," Leopold interrupted. "He won’t."

"You’re damn right he won’t," Lucky agreed angrily. "But not for lack of trying. That asshole is gonna do whatever he can to get back at us. He’s not just gonna lie down and take the fact that his precious inheritance is disappearing from right under his nose."

"So you did get into that box," Leopold acknowledged nodding. "It looked as if someone had been inside…and I didn’t think Alex had enough sense to remove all the documentation. I thought it had to be you…I’m glad you got to it in time."

Lucky ignored the compliment and tilted his head, staring at the old man suspiciously. "Is there anything else?"

Leopold shook his head. "I don’t think so…you have everything now."

"You don’t THINK so?" Lucky asked bitterly. "You don’t THINK so, huh?"

Trying to explain, Leopold sighed. "Alessandro and Helena never let me in on everything, Lucenzo…Everything I knew about the arrangement had to do with the financial aspect of things…I don’t doubt there are things that even I know nothing about."

"The arrangement," Lucky quoted the words and looked down. Although, the last part of the statement had sounded vaguely like a hint, so Lucky took it as one.

A clap of thunder brought his eyes to the window, and he crossed over to it. Pressing his hands against the countertop. Somehow the renewed pain in his knuckles felt good. It felt real. He needed pain.

"There was too much luggage for just one man," Leopold began quietly as Lucky continued to look out of the window. "She brought you here, si?"

The boy only nodded with his back turned. The rain was starting to come down too hard. "I expected it to be sunny here," he said softly. "But I guess it can’t be that way today."

Leopold only nodded and agreed. "They said it would be…but you know. Men and their instruments can not predict what happens with God’s plan."

Lucky turned towards him and stared for a moment. God’s plan…yeah right. He’d almost forgotten about that.

Exactly how did the death of a beautiful child fit in with God’s big ‘plan.’ He knew what his father would say. His father would say it didn’t fit at all because there was no such thing.

Who knows, maybe he’d been right all these years?

‘That would mean - joke’s on you!’ Lucky thought furiously. Watching the rain slide against the windowpane.

The view from this house was probably spectacular when the sun was out. It was probably one of the best places to catch a glimpse of the beauty Florence had to offer on a sunlit afternoon…

Lucky’s thoughts faded away and his mouth dropped open wide. A new wave of tears threatening to break him as he leaned over the sink, and gripped the sides. His knuckles turning white as he nearly choked on the slowly dawning knowledge.

The window – the store window that the dark haired woman had been gazing into that afternoon was a baby store. A baby’s store with the smallest little booties and dresses Lucky had ever seen in his life, showcased in the window. He remembered thinking that no one could ever fit into those…and her handprints…her small, beautiful handprints had been left on the glass.

Etched there in time…calling to him.

Before he could utter the words, the old man spoke them. "You should go to her…sometimes she forgets to come inside...and you have to bring her in."

Lucky turned to stare at him. The first instinct to yell at him and tell him not to tell HIM about what Elizabeth needed or how she behaved, subsiding after only a second. For it had only been instinct, and it gave way to something else. Something else he was afraid to call gratitude. However slight the feeling might have been.

If the old man had brought her in from the rain a time or two, no matter how much he hated him for lying to her and for being a part of this, a portion of his heart was grateful.

"I can have a room ready for you, in a few minutes," Leopold said, standing up.

Lucky turned quickly to walk out of the kitchen. Reaching for the antique knob on the front door, and yanking it open. "I don’t know that we’re going to be staying here," he said softly. "So don’t…don’t go out of your way or anything."

Leopold nodded as Lucky walked out the door.

It was really starting to come down out there.

~~~~~~~

Lucky held his hand over his eyes and swore under his breath as he made his way through the garden and out past the small fence that enclosed it. The grass matted and soggy beneath his feet from the onslaught of rain that was now pouring down in buckets.

He shook his head and tried not to let the panic take control all over again. He’d just left her out here! He’d just left her!

When she needed him most, he’d left…all over again. Just like he did all those years ago. He’d seen it! He’d seen the way she’d paled. The way she’d clutched her stomach and leaned on the couch for support…

Was there ever a time in history when he’d actually been there for her? Sure if he asked her that question she’d make up some lame excuse about how he’d been there for her so many times over the years. Been her friend, been her confidante, her savior. But it wasn’t true. He knew it wasn’t, and deep down – if she let herself, she would know it too. And she would hate him like she should.

His lip hurt, so he only bit down harder. Pain was a good thing. He deserved pain.

Thunder clapped loudly over the hills and a flash of light lit the ever-darkening sky. But it wasn’t the weather that caused him to gasp audibly. It was the fact that she still lay there in the grass in the very same spot. Her small form trembling in the rain, lying there as if she hadn’t noticed it was falling. Hadn’t noticed she was drenched.

"Elizabeth," he sighed. Sinking down next to her. As he started to cry all over again. "Baby…oh God…I’m –

He wouldn’t say he was sorry. She couldn’t possibly wanna hear that shit. Wasn’t the word ‘sorry,’ a little worn out by now?

Licking his lips he moved to slip his hands beneath her body and scooped her towards him. Doing the only thing he knew to do, now. Maybe he could just take care of her. Maybe he could just do that…

He pressed his lips to her soaking wet forehead and she didn’t seem to notice. She only let her head fall against his chest as he hiked her up closer to him and started the trek back to the house.

Before he could stop himself again, he was whispering the words ‘I’m sorry,’ over and over again. Her purple lips never uttered a word in response but she wrapped her arms around her neck and buried closer. Tighter…warmer.

He’d come back for her.

Maybe if they just held each other tonight it would all be ok. Maybe they could do this together. Mourn her together and love her together, instead of being apart and more alone than they’d ever been.

Maybe…