Give a Reason

by Umi

May 2001

Disclaimer: Lina and all Slayers characters belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, TV Tokyo, and SOFTX, not me! I'm not makin' any money outta this! 


        "Surely, somewhere lies 'the answer,'
        the answer to why I was born.
        That is what all people wish for.
        When all looks lost, and there's no escape, I turn to my dreams!

        I'm not afraid of getting hurt
        but I'm not strong, either.
        It's just that I can't stand
        just doing nothing anymore!
        Here we go, go! I'll just run on
        and let nobody stop me now!
        I want to give a reason for life
        to my future self..."
                                                            -Megumi Hayashibara, "Give a Reason"


I don't think I can keep on living like this...

I can't just be content with my life anymore.

I can't just be so safe, so merely okay with everything.

I need to feel strongly, passionately, about what I have, about who I am, about what I can do... about my future, about my past, about my present...

I want to be truly happy.

And I will never be if I keep living like this.

I can't keep waiting for things to get better, for my life to change on its own, for myself to change.

I have to change my life.

I have to find the real me.

I have to find my own happiness.

I'm not waiting for my prince to come and rescue me.

Not anymore.

I take out my hair ties and undo my two long braids, freeing my hair and letting it flow around my shoulders. I tie my headband around my forehead and softly brush my bangs from my eyes. I put on my gloves, clenching my hand in a fist. I simply stand here for a little bit, loving the feel of the wind caressing my face and blowing my hair with its gentle touch.

I take one last look back at my little house, my little town. I'm not saying that I hated my old life, that it was so terrible that I was suffering or something. I really liked it, in fact, I loved it. I loved the comfort of my home, my friends, my family, and my peaceful, safe life. I have had so many great memories there. I'll miss everyone and everything so much... But, I need more than that in life. I need to reach for the stars, for things that I have only begun to dream about. I need to grow into whoever I really am, deep inside. I need to be on my own, away from the protection of my home...

It's time for me to move on.

Goodbye, my old life.

I swing my sack over my shoulder. I can't help but smile as I watch a tiny bird soar serenely in the sky, flapping its wings. Fly, little one, fly... I summon up all the courage I can muster and confidently walk forward, out into the world.

I'm ready for whatever is out there. I'm ready to experience new things, to feel new things, whether they're bright or dark, right or wrong, love or hate.

I let out a soft sigh as I watch the sun rise. It's so beautiful and bright as it rises, changing the sky into magnificent shades of crimson and gold. I can't believe that one thing, the sun, can be so powerful that it can change others, that it can spread beauty and light to whatever it touches...

For once in my life, I feel beautiful too.

Almost as beautiful as the sun.

Here I go. I'm going to find my reason for living.

Who knows what will happen out there, but I'm sure of one thing...

There's no turning back.

I will find my true happiness, and, when I do...

I'll be even more beautiful than the sun.

<Owari>

Author's note: So, what did you think? Well, this was just my take on what might have been Lina's reasons for starting out on her journey. After all, she left her peaceful life in her little village to become an adventurer, risking her life everyday. I thought that maybe she wanted some reason for living... Anywayz, I hope that you all enjoyed this story, since it's just a nice little inspirational fic that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people, I guess! (Or, at least I hope so! ;) )