+ It's still war. soldiers are kidnapped within a minute, and the boyfriend of my sister has a brother who is shooting and fighting in the army.. I pray for his behalf, do that too- for the whole israeli nation.
+ Me and Odelya are in a swirl of unawareness, we don't know where we are. I know that I can't live without her, I'm so inlove with her it hurts, it really hurts. My heart is bleeding, captivated by her.. and she doesn't care. she's rising her magic wand and casting her spells while I'm aching and crying. Apathy as usual, and I wonder how long will this abusement last, when will she start loving me as much asI love her.
I don't consider myself as a regular person, there for I'm not measuring myself by what others do or by how they live. She does. That's why she doesn't let our love bloom, she doesn't let it be as strong as I see it. So maybe it's not as strong.. maybe the way she feels is 360 degrees different than the way I feel, but what can I do now when I'm in her net, paving my way into her heart. and of course.. failing during my hopeless attempts. Odelya, please..love me, I am yours forever. ah, poor you.
+ Chikey (my beautiful female dog) is going to have a surgery next week. I'm so scared, today I cried for her and was so sad because she's old, and I'm afraid something will happen to her. I'll die, I know it. Besides, I'm not ready to handle it now, please let her be ok. I hope her tumors will be taken off successfully. I love her most in the world!
Too many things to hope for, and everything's dying at the end...
+ and a special word for GULI, a sweet poor dog who didn't make it. I love you, wherever you are. If I only could, I'd play with you forever and make your life heavenly. but I'm only mortal Guli, but I love you, puppy of mine. I hope you're good now, wherever you are. *forgive me for crying ok? mortal again...I miss you..*
+ I am cursing myself for hating people. for being different. I don't think Odelya will want me, she'll leave me because of it..and right now I don't want to live. my heart is beating so fast.. again the end is near.. why am I better than the ones who are gone? I'm not, they are so good.. with everyone that dies, a star shines above, so much light and so much death.. oh I don't know, I'll look for the babylon5 quote, it said it better..

That's it I guess,
a quiet little entry, not much in it. yet, everything's said.

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