again I haven't written in a while, it doesn't really bother me, but I'll drop some events in here and stain the page with my late happenings..just in case.
lately all I do in the computer is writing letters, to people who became with intense meaning and importance, interesting people, who are not intimidated by me.
I do not have much time to write but if I do, I don't do this in here cause writing to an actual person is much more self pleasing than writing on an empty wall with no eyes on its cover.
They know what I'm going through, what are my dillemas, my thrills, my fears.. they know.. and it's incredible to know that someone's actually there for you, listening and interested in what you have to say.. sometimes writing on a wall is calming.. but not when you want to be heard.
what can I say about my affairs for this moment?
I moved from biology to literature and movies;
I did it because I had a strong feeling in my deepest chasms that I'm not doing the right thing, It fell upon me that I need to enjoy what I'm doing, because I can never know when will the roof decide to collapse on my poor aching body..
I also felt that I need literature in my life, and with no time to read out of school, I put it in school, a daily part of my life..
I'm not that happy for it, because it seems like no decision is the right one for me, but I had no other choices, no possibilities, no option to leave everything on the floor and burst into the air without any obligation.. but I'm coping with the situation. I chose "smells like teen spirit" as my movie Theme, I'm making a video..heh heh..yep, Natalie's in the show business so hold your hats and be aware, I can be the wind if I want to.. :)
me and Odelya are good at last
nothing's perfect, but you can't wish for perfection when all you care about is surviving the day, the studyings, the damn math classes.. I feel like I need to put a ":)" here and there.. it means I'm less negative, I think. probably after I say we're ok, something bad will happen. Murphy again, argh..wish I was his relative.
Yehuda Amichai, an israeli poet and brave hero, died on the 22nd.
I believe it's my duty now to explore his world through his poems, I'm young, it's allowed for me to discover people after they die.. sometimes it's the only way you find out about people, or the only way you allow yourself to peel the layers and inhale them inside. all the good people go away in the end..
and the world keeps spinning until the next death, and the next one and the next one....
stupid Oedipus
I bought Madonna's "Music", rock on! :)
reading: Oedipus the king, The Doll's house & Death of a salesman... God help me..
so I guess I said all I wanted to.. didn't feel like writing, only say some things I had in mind. I won't share profound thoughts.. not now, everything has its place within time.
I put that picture up again because that's the picture I chose for "smells like teen spirit", I also found out some new things about this picture, and I think it sinks so deep, just like the song. and it says- we're all twisted, so stop acting like we're not -
my movies teacher said the girl looks slutty, and that's why we have a contrast between naivete and evil.
it's amazing what you can find out about something you were so sure about...
that's the end for now.