To Survive an Encounter

with the Empress

On AIM:

• Don't ask my how I know you.
• Do not ask stupid questions. Though you are told, in school, that there is no such thing, I am here to say there is.
• Do not ask my state of dress.
• Do not warn me.
• Do not whine.
• Do NOT try to be funny. If you cannot impress me naturally, you cannot impress me.
• If you have nothing to say, do not talk
• If you want to argue, e-mail instead
• Never attempt to give me advice
• If you spell something wrong, correct it. These are communication basics.
• Do not start a conversation in order to insult me, that is what family is for.
• If you understand all of this, my name is Random Woman
  

E-mail

• Don't send me pictures of you in a speedo
• If you plan to insult my intelligence, please know how to spell it.
• If you would like to write me hate mail, please recall that you came to me
• If you can't speak English--dont.
• If you can manage to obey all of these instructions, everything should go well
• If you wish to be polite, I will be pleasantly surprised
• If you understand all of this my e-mail address is soon@hired-gun.net